1.25.2010

Burnt Clutch

So I had a thought last night before bed that I didn't stop to take the time to write down as I usually do with thoughts I have right before bed. Usually, if I don't write them down, they are gone by the time I wake up. But not this time, which is a sign of something, I'm not really sure what.

My brother wrote me the other day, a short email contained in the subject line, "Are you okay?" which has been on my mind alot since. Am I okay? Have I ever been okay? Is okay good enough since its kind of like pulling a C, its passing but it ain't nothing to shout from the rooftops about.

Great = A
Good = B
Okay = C
Not okay = D
Bad = F

Given that scale, yeah, I'm okay but it would certainly be a hell of a lot nicer to get to good or even great every once in a while.

I've been thinking an awful lot about what makes me tick or not tick as the case may be. The most apt metaphor I can come up with is a car that's got a nice big V8 engine, its got lots of power, makes a great sound when you blip the accelerator and could make the vehicle (me) rip it up on any road its put upon. The only problem is that the clutch connecting that massive, beautiful engine to the wheels has burnt out and can only engage just a tiny bit of the engine's power.

So I am engaged in trying to find a way to better engage my engine and put the power to the pavement more effectively. One step along that way is to talk with my doctor and see about trying out another medication for my ADHD. Another is to make sure I'm going to bed earlier, being up past midnight every night has been taking a toll on me that was hard to see until I started going to bed earlier and feeling much more complete and ready to attack the day.

How do other people do it? How do other people stay on task? How do keep track of all the myriad things you need to get done in a given day, week, month, year? I'm open to suggestions, ideas or what's worked for others. Let me know in the comments.
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