11.18.2008

Celebrity "Laws"

Oprah's Law of Endorsement - If Oprah likes it and you do not then you are wrong.

Bill O'Reilly's Averation of Truth - The more Bill O'Reilly swears something is true, the less true it is.

Paris Hilton's Never Miss an Opportunity to Shill - Even when getting busted for a DUI she says she was just trying to get to In'n'Out (at least, I think she was shilling, maybe she was talking about hiring a gigolo).

The OJ Rule - If you get away with committing a heinous crime then it would behoove you to live a very, very clean life or you risk some extra heavy karmic payback. Witness OJ's "acquittal" for double murder and then very heavy hit for strong arm robbery. Payback is, most certainly, a bitch.

Naomi Campbell's Fearful Flying - Just stay the hell out of her way and keep the cocktails flowing and nobody gets hurt.

Joe Lieberman's Buttered Milquetoast - Never let a little thing like principals or party affiliation stand in the way of your ambition to ride someone else's coat tails.
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