9.12.2007

Best Spam EVAR!

Sometimes spam is pure comedy gold. Like the one I got this morning, which has quickly become my favorite of all time.

It was sent by the ECONBOMICAL FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION with a subject line: BEWARE OF INTERNENT FRAUD STAR THAT HAVE BEEN SCAMING YOU(MONEY)

Econbomical is my new favorite word followed quickly by internent.

And no, I did not read the spam message contained within though I'd guess its more comedy gold but I'm getting up in years and don't think my funny bone could handle the overload.

I should read it? Okay. You want to read it too? Brace yourself because it may permanently warp your Englishes. The only changes were to the formatting since it was already crazy over long. I especially like that the only non-all caps text is the name of the commission.
Economic & Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC)

EFCC HeadQuaters,Abuja,Nigeria.
Tel:+234-xxxxxxxx.

GOOD DAY,
FIRST WE INTRODUCES THIS COMMISSION, Economic & Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) WE FIGHT CYBER CRIME FRAUD SCAM MONEY LAUNDERING IN AFRICA.OUR COMMISSION HAS BEEN IN EXSITANCES SINCE 2004.

OUR DUTIES IS TO STOP INTERNET FRAUD SCAM. AS FOR TODAY WE HAVE PUT ALOT OF PEOPLE FRAUDSTERS BEHIND BARS ALOT OF THEM ARE IN JAIL WE GO ALL OVER AFRICA TO PICK THIS THIEF'S.

WE HAVE OVER 687 OF THEM IN OUR JAILS ROUND AFRICA AND WE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR MORE, WE ARE AWARE THAT A LOT OF FOREIGNERS OUT THERE HAVE BEEN DECEIVED TRICKED AND LOST A LOT OF MONEY. TO THIS FRAUDSTERS AFTER PROMISING YOU PERCENTAGES IN THEIR LETTERS FOR YOU TO HELP THEM MOVE FUNDS AT THE END OF THE DAY THEY WILL COLLECT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FROM YOU MAKING YOU A POOR PERSON.

ALL THE AFRICAN CRIME FIGHTERS LEADERS HAS COME TOGETHER TO INFORM THE WORLD WHAT IS GOING ON NOW AND WE HAVE RECOVER OVER $322 MILLION DOLLARS(THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO MILLION DOLLARS) FROM THE PEOPLE WE HAVE BEHIND BARS. THE ONLY REASON WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER, IS BECAUSE YOUR NAME WAS GIVEN TO US BY ONE OF THE FRAUDSTERS IN OUR JAIL HOUSE, THAT HE COLLECTED MONEY FROM BY TRICKS.

OUR ACTION NOW IS TO REFUND BACK MONEY TO FOREIGNERS WHO LOST MONEY TO THESE THIEF'S. WE ARE PAYING BACK FROM THE MONEY WE RECOVERED.

WE CAN ONLY REFUND YOU IF YOUR NAME IS MENTIONED AND YOU SHOW US PROVE OF HOW MUCH YOU LOST.IF THIS LETTER GETS TO YOU THEN YOU ARE MENTIONED. BUT IF IT’S GETS TO YOU BY MISTAKE AND YOU HAVE NOT LOST ANY MONEY THEN PLEASE DISREGARD IT.

IF YOU KNOW ANY PERSON FAMILY OR FRIEND THAT HAS LOST MONEY TO FRAUDSTERS PLEASE TELL HIM/HER TO WRITE TO THIS COMMISSION WITH PROVES AND WE WILL HANDLE HIS/HER CASE THEN PAY BACK AFTER VERIFICATION.

WE ARE AWARE THIS FRAUDSTERS HAS BROKEN ALOT OF HOME, MADE ALOT OF PEOPLE TO LOSE THEIR JOB, SELL THEIR PROPERTIES, CLOSED THEIR BUSINESS, PUT MANY ON THE STREET, AND MADE ALOT TO EVEN LOSE THEIR LIFE. PLEASE YOU ARE TO REACH US IN OUR EMAIL ADDRESS ABOVE FOR FURTHER CLARIFICATIONS ON HOW YOU ARE TO RECEIVE YOUR LOST FUNDS YOU ARE TO FORWARD YOUR FULL PARTICULARS AND RECENT TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO OUR EMAIL ADDRESS ABOVE ON IF YOU ARE A VICTIM.

REGARDS
ALHAJI KOFFI WILLIAMS
DR. VICTOR PAM AND OTHERS
(CHAIRMAN EFCC).
Ouchie, that hurt to read.

0 comments: