Throwing A Real Perfect Game

Congratulations to Mark Beuhrle for throwing a perfect game recently.

However, my fickle brain has decided to get focused on the concept of the perfect game and would like to suggest that he threw a near-perfect game.

You see, in the ridiculous world that my brain tends to exist in, a perfect game would be just that, perfection. "Perfection is, broadly, a state of completeness and flawlessness." That is, something complete and without even the tiniest glimmer of a flaw, a hint of not-perfection. My confuddled brain takes that to mean something much more than merely preventing all the opposing team's players from reaching base. Let me break it down.

There are 27 outs for each team in a 9 inning baseball game. To strike out each pitcher in the minimum number of pitches requires three pitches. Three times 27 is 81. A perfect game then, in my aforementioned ridiculous world, would be 81 pitches, all of them strikes without a single ball and without any of those balls being hit. All 27 outs recorded by strikeout without contact. No foul balls, no balls off the mark. No flaws in the perfection.

THAT would be a perfect game. And yes, I fully realize how utterly insane it is to propose such a strict definition of perfection but, hey, perfection is perfect. Perfection isn't something close to perfect, perfection IS perfect.

Now please don't think that I am, in any way, shape or form, trying to diminish what Buehrle did. I'm not, he threw what Major League Baseball defines as a perfect game, I'm merely suggesting that what MLB is proposing as perfect isn't quite as perfect as it could be. And I realize that, under my re-defined version, the likelihood of a perfect game EVER being thrown is just about zero since the most anyone's ever struck out in a game is 20, much less 27 on 81 perfect pitches. But, if the word "perfect" is to be invoked and revered as the sacred perfection it is then the deed to which it is being attached should embody that perfect perfection accordingly.

Why yes, I do end up arguing semantic points at parties, why do you ask?
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