Dear Snooty Old Lady in the Benz

You do not, in fact or theory, own the road. You do not, in any way, shape or form, own the parking lot outside Safeway and you most definitely do not have any right to treat crosswalks and people in them like personal insults.

You'd do well to slow down, learn that other people exist in the universe and not try to run people, like me, over just because you're too high and goddamned mighty to depress your brake pedal in your expensive ego-stroke of a car.

Or, if you do, don't look so pissed off when someone, like me, reminds you what a crosswalk is all about. Or just keep your windows rolled up and your wraparound sunglasses firmly in place. Or you could just run me over and we'll see how long you keep that car while cooling your heels in jail for attempted manslaughter. Or you could just slow down and show a mote of grace when someone is in a crosswalk in front of you.

As it is, you provided a moment's entertainment to a mother and her daughter who overheard my spur of the moment education I attempted to impart to you about crosswalk manners. I'm sure the lesson was lost when it bounced off your coif or your superiority complex though.

Seriously though, show some class, show some societal concern, show some manners, slow down, cede the right of way and quit being such an uptight lead-footed bitch.