Tired of Waiting on Maury to Test Your Deadbeat?

Until I happened across an ad for DNA Paternity Testing by Metaphase Genetics, I'd assumed that paternity testing was at least around $1000. But no sirreebob, you can bust that busta and force him to own up to his duty.

You go, girl. Uh huh, lose the zero and get with a hero. That's right, baby, you are worth it so you don't have to take that from him.

For a mere $150 and 3 to 5 business days wait, you can have a 99.99% accurate test of your potential paternity or not, as the case may be. So yes, that's right folks, you no longer have to wait to get on Maury or Ricki or any of the other shows that profit from your angst and anguish. Nope, now you have your own personal melodrama without the bright lights, false sincerity and public smackdown when you're wrong again.

Or hey, practice safe sex and maybe limit your partners to just a few. Being discerning isn't really that terrible a thing, ya know?