Does Holy Shit Go To Heaven?

Think your day sucked?

Imagine coming home to a living room of steaming proof that your dog has some kind of a messed up digestive tract. Not one, not two, not three, no sir, not even four. And I know, I know what you're thinking, it's gotta be five, there's no way, no way it could be six. But yes sirs and madams, six steamers a'soakin' into the carpet when I arrived upon my doorstep this drizzly January eve.

Six hound dog land mines in varying states of spread, in varying states of cooling off, in varying states of chunkiness.

Honestly, I was speechless for a good twenty seconds.

It wasn't really a fun coming home from work moment and the fact that my sweet pup was scared that I was going to go insane made it all the sadder. I put her in the back yard, let her know I loved her and returned inside to let my lovely wife know the news.

So this evening's festivities included dropping $50 at Long's to get a Rug Doctor to suck the devil dookie right out of our carpet. And suck it did. Sucked like a sucker should suck during a suck contest.

We reclaimed the carpet, though are now committed to ripping it out and replacing it with more of the wood laminate as in the kitchen, and Nande now sleeps on a blanket laid down in the office where I used the steamer to suck some the impacted dirt out of the upstairs carpets as well.

[Update: I should note that I am not sharing as much of the story as I could because, well, I don't want my readers to throw up all over their computers. Perhaps I'll put the rest of the story in the comments. And yes, its disgusting and yes, you may think you want to know but really, you don't.
Okay, okay. The rest of the story is that only a couple of the landmines were created via Nande's rear exhaust vent. A couple of the mines were generated by my poor dog licking up the dookie, getting sick and puking it out, licking it up again (she may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer) and then puking it out again. There, are you happy now? Strangely, I am.
P thinks she was actually trying to clean up the mess by licking it up. I'm not sure I buy that but damn, just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.
Why do dogs like poop? Sometimes even their own?]