The Intellectual Poison Fictionary
Abyuss - the void of abuse, think getting sentenced (sorry, sent to) Abu Ghraib or Gitmo. Lost in an endless cycle of abuse, torture, lies and ignorance. Lost in the abyuss.This is my lexicon of invented words that I've come up with myself or friends have come up and passed on to me. Or they have grown into greater use and I just like the word, like asshat. More to come as they occur to me. Want to suggest one? Drop me an Email. Creators are listed at the end of words, if no one is noted then I probably made it up myself.
Acronum - the act of being overly teched out by all the abbreviations.
Acrodim - someone who uses acronyms because they don't really know what they stand for.
Actionavating - when you go to get some tool, get sidetracked by another project and forget all about the other one.
Adversation - when you're talking with someone and you realize they don't really care what you're saying, they're just trying to get you interested in their product or service (the street vendor who tries to tell you a joke to get you to stop and look at his schlock he's selling).
Affluenza - Af-flu-en-za n. 1. The bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that results from efforts to keep up with the Joneses. 2. An epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by dogged pursuit of the American Dream. 3. An unsustainable addiction to economic growth.
Altercant - any substance that takes the non altered you and alters your mindset, mood, attitude and perspective, as in alter and intoxicant.
Angeroo- when someone gets absolutely to the point that they are hopping mad.
Annoisance - noises that are annoying, from my mother during our last family vacation.
Anoracksia - the term for someone who's had breast implants and also has an eating disorder so that you end up with what looks like a skeleton with big boobs.
Aracknophobia - fear of women without breasts.
Asshat - a popular term right now that helps to describe someone who, basically, has an asshole for a face and an attitude. An asshat will offer you a freebie just so he charge you for it later. An asshat will offer to collect all the money from a lunch out so he can pocket the tip money other people give and leave a dinky little asshat tip. An asshat is someone that you are embarrassed to be seen with in public because they're rude and/or stupid and don't mind letting their true colors show whenever and where ever. Asshat is not my term but I use it often enough that it could be. I don't know where the word came from but its beautiful!
Ashhole - one of those smoking pricks who walk around blowing smoke like their the only person in existence. Getting stuck behind them on a sidewalk is the same as taking a few puffs on their cancer sticks. The same term can be applied to people that flick their ashes out the window of their car without even considering the fact that there might be a motorcycle behind them who might not want some ashes flying into their face.
Attitard - someone who's world outlook is so utterly warped that they are, effectively, socially retarded. The people who walk in front of you at a store without saying excuse me or pardon me. The people who speed up their walking to get to a line before you. The attitard is the kind of person that slips through a closing door without touching it or holding it open for other people. They are the people that watch someone drop some papers when they're walking down the street and won't say anything because they are curious about what the papers say. Basically an attitard is someone who's absorbed with their own little universe and see everyone else as bit players in the magnificent drama that is their life.
Barget - pronounced bar-sjay, its what happens when Target has a sale and too many people rush the door at once, they barget it.
Behoperate - when something is both behaving and cooperating (or operating) to spec (i.e. without incurring busted knuckles or sailoresque invectives).
Benefisted - when your new company's "benefits" are about as useful as a punch in the face. Or, when you go to the doctor thinking its covered by your medical coverage at work only to find out that it is not and you owe a chunk of cash up front, you've been benefisted. Credit for the new word goes to Carina though I've morphed its definition to my own devious ends some. Thanks for the input!
Bitchicle - a nasty ice queen.
Blegging - the act of taking a blog and turning it into a donation station revenue generator, i.e. making public pleas for money from readers.
Blundress - stripping down for the wrong person. Or someone who trips over their clothes everytime they try to take them off.
Britishisms - those wankers who use Brit terms because they're dull and stupid. Though I'm well guilty of this myself I'm perfect so it doesn't count against me.
Catalust - what happens when the person you're trying to hook up with your friend ends up wanting you instead.
Chameleonic - possessing the essence of the chameleon with the ability to blend in anywhere.
Chunder humper - one of those horny drunk guys who will still bang a girl after she's puked. Or vice versa since Intellectual Poison is an equal opportunity word smith.
Circumlick - During foreplay the act of licking around the perimeter of your partner's genitals before going in for the kill. Another fine peek inside dear EB's lovely mind.
Condomnation - the shame someone feels when they had unprotected sex. Its also the guilt trip that their friends, neighbors, pen pals and parents are supposed to heap upon them.
It could also be used to describe a country fully gripped by fear of not using condoms properly and regularly.
Confidensing - getting somebody to agree to one secret to be held and then cramming in a few more before the contract is set.
Conflucked - the state of being confused and conflicted about whether or not to bump uglies with that cute chick you met at the bar even though you're married/dating or otherwise off the market.
Craptacular - sarcastic joy usually, refers to poo and spectacular (hey look, I can draw a straight line too!), can refer to a series of events as well.
Cremationist - a dumbass who thinks the world was created through intelligent design and the use of ashes.
Develoopment - the joyous cycle of development that ends in another round of "features" being added to the product resulting in a develoopment cycle between coders and executives.
Digitightass - this is the condition of someone who's wound up so tight that, in the midst of coitus, you can't even worm a finger in their back side. Hey, I'm a freak, what do you want?
Dislust - how you can be thoroughly disgusted with someone and yet you still want to jump their bones.
Distrance - the mind numbing that happens when you make long distance drives at night and have to fight for consciousness.
Dumocracy - running a government with the fundamental concept of the people being as dumb as posts.
Embravened - allowing one's courage to build and build until you undertake something you wouldn't normally, as in getting up one's courage to ask that uber hottie at the gym out. This is an Erika word, she came up with it over the last weekend when she broke societal and cultural norms and mores (pronounced mor-a's not like more with an s).
Errows - misplaced blame, usually shot during meetings where its harder to avoid being hit and complaining makes you look like a whiner even if it wasn't your fault.
Evile - vicious and craven, low evil, scumbag evil, piss on you when you're down evil. Think Dick Cheney in a bunny suit with a disintegrator ray.
Evilitry - the act of continued and unrepentant evil doing, i.e. Microsoft's long history of stomping out competitors or buying them so they can mothball better products that would eat into their market share
Exactistician - one of those people that cannot cope with estimations, cannot deal with rounded off stats and must correct people when they misquote or mispeak about some number. It isn't necessarily a bad trait but it can be damned annoying.
Exass - the term for fools who buy far too much to show how cool they are. See any idiot in a Hummer or Excursion.
Fecestious- basically its someone who's funny but talks a lot of bullshit all the time. One of my old time favs.
Fictionary - a fake dictionary, like this one.
Flustrated - courtesy of Rambling Rhodes, that state of being where you are both wholly flustered and entirely frustrated.
Fortituous- Generous in displaying one's tits to strangers, another Erika word for Intellectual Poison.
Freakle - freak people.
Furson - someone who just loves to wear fur.
Gallability - the slow diminishing of one's pride or dignity or whatever that allows or enables someone to ask perfect strangers for their change even though the asker isn't homeless, just poor. The same term could be applied to the beggars with cardboard signs that read "Why Lie? I need a beer. God Bless" and expect you to give them money for it.
Geniass - someone who's smart and is a prick about it or thinks they're the only ones with brains.
GOPerative - an agent of the GOP, see Jeff Gannon/James Guckert for exactly what this means.
Gratisfaction - two meanings, 1. when a hooker gives you a freebie. 2. that feeling just after having a great orgasm that everyone's all good in the world.
Hatitard - (hate-e-tard) - someone who's ability to reason has been completely killed off my irrational and blinding hatred.
Hipatitis - terminal coolness, from EB
Hiproganda - Hip propoganda, using street language and imagery to sell your product. Like the recent commercials for Mountain Dew's Code Red showing a hard core game of yard basketball. More recently, the transparent Whatsthedownload.com site intended to relay the stealing-music-isn't-cool message that the RIAA has been pushing for months now. Only problem is that the RIAA is about the most uncool company going right now so who gives a damn what they think is cool or not. I'll pay for my music but I won't be paying them.
Homosensual - someone who behaves in a manner similar to the character "Orsino" in Twelfth Night by Shakespeare. I find it useful to use this word when trying to deconstruct traditional gender categories and often announce to those assembled in chat-rooms that "I am homosensual". This comes from a reader of Intellectual Poison named Chester Parker, thanks for the email and input!
Homowner - a gay person who happens to also own his or her home.
Idget - short idiot, as in idiot midget.
Idiocracy - a society of idiots. EB
Iditor - that internal id driven filter that tries to prevent people from blurting out all of the bizarre tangental thoughts that pass through one's mind
Indebited - To owe someone a favor for them letting you use their debit card, from an EB mid-day missive
Informated - when your computer pops up a window to let you know that that you're new media (CD, floppy, zip disk) has been initialized and is ready for use.
Iraqnophobia - fear of nations without weapons of mass destruction.
Jackanape - someone who contradicts you at every turn. impertinent. conceited. A new word from Rx.
Jackhole - the combination of a jackass and an asshole, usable in less than formal occasions. But also has connotations of more filth, a jack hole could mean something like a glory hole at a peep show.
Japanaise - a tasty but oily and yellowish spread made from Japanese tourists and whale blubber.
Memorification - another Bushism meaning to memorize but done in his inimitable fashion.
Memorophiliac - one of those people who lives on past glory, fascination with one's history.
Mistribution - when you pass something out to the wrong people.
Modificate- a Bushism meaning the act of modifying something. Along the same logical lines as strategerize and memorification.
Nimrodification - when you've got a project that's just about complete but your project manager comes in with a stupid and unnecessary mod to the project that only serves as a pointer for him to point to and say he had a hand in the execution.
We were all set except for Johnson's nimrodification just before the deadline, that screwed the pooch and we finished it late.
Nutler - a caretaker for one's testicles.
Oddles - a myriad of strange bits of trivia.
Optimystic - the state of being where you have a magically positive outloook amid serious turmoil.
Outpout - when you're trying to write but the only things that you can come up with are so bad that they make you want to cry.
Paradose - when that first hit of your chosen altercant hits the bloodstream and you enter your happy Eden-like place. Be it your martini at the end of the day or some tasty spoon heated kitchen made smack.
Particicant - someone who shows up but must be dragged into the action against their protests that they can't play/do/whatever it is that's being done.
Partrollers - the people who beg for spare change only some of the time, they troll for money by just asking people for it randomly even though they've got their own money, usually have a job but are just underwealthy or some such.
Partrolling - the act of the partroller working his "marks" for a few bucks in change even though they don't really need it, they just get it because they ask and people are, in many ways, like obedient sheep.
Phlegmnomenon - a pop culture happening that's utterly retch worthy, like the finale of "Friends", a very special "Everybody Loves Raymond" or pretty much anything having to do with "American Idol".
Phonytail - people with with weaves or otherwise not their own hair mixed in with their own are sporting phonytails.
Plastits - um this is an easy one, fake boobs.
Pooed the screwch - malaprop of screwed the pooch but it still works well.
Poorsicle - homemade popsicles made from fruit juice and ice cube trays.
Popography - anything found in the space occupied by popular culture or any meta level examination of the trappings of pop culture.
Pornfolio - a porn star's portfolio
Poserfarian - the idiot skinny white pukes with dreadlocks who wish they could be rasta but they're just idiot skinny white pukes who smoke dope alot and listen to reggae (though there's not a thing wrong with reggae music).
Psychopornolistic - Prone to mental masturbation / self-delusion, thanks to Erika for this one.
Rebo - retarded bozo, used for several months while I was a process server dropping off court ordered missives of joy and happiness, yes, I used to deliver subpeonas for a living. Lots of driving, not much gun play though.
Reflecticle - something that seems to contain whatever was just thrown into it but in the end the container will toss the item back out, like a basketball circling a rim and almost dropping in before it rotates back out and onto the floor, or also works for a golf ball circling the hole and coming back out.
Regurgitant - a profoundly irritating thought or idea that makes one want to vomit. EB.
Regurgitante - (pronounced like debutante) a person that is consistently annoying to the point of making others want to vomit.
Resmuglican - a self absorbed jackass subscribing to the Grand Old Party's doctrine of screwing everyone over, unless they're a fellow Resmuglican. Easy to spot in their oversized, look-at-me-look-at-the-monkey Hummers and other trucks designed to compensate for small penises and raging inferiority complexes. These are the same pricks that don't see any lies ever emanating from ShrubCo, they're just distortions of reality that the left is too "stupid" (i.e. clued into reality) to understand.
Retardisize - when a computer application goes into convulsions while trying to execute some sort of wacky user command or an internal software error. Mostly likely confined to Microsoft's "fine" (meaning they should be fined for selling it) software but it also happens with other stuff. Like when iTunes tries to play an .mov file or mpeg. Just doesn't work and starts chunking electro-blasts of interference type sounds while struggling to cope with the bad data its chewing on.
Rethuglican - the current angry member of the GOP who responds with fury when anything the GOP has done is called into question. Or the GOP wanker who invokes Godwin's Law (the longer an argument continues, the more likely a reference to Hitler will be) as a first salvo in an argument. Completely uninterested in facts or the truth, they toe the party line like its the line between good and evil.
Returnity (alt: Reternity) -the length of time it takes from when you decide to return something and when you actually do return it or how long it takes to get through the return line
Ridiculosity - oversized stupidity, as in the idiots who drive Hummers alone all the time. A greed powered conspicuous consumption concept. Or someone who still thinks THEY can carry off conflicting plaids.
Rodification - as in, "Yeah, Bob, your project that you're about to deliver and have been putting in 90 hours a week on for the last fourteen months, yeah, the board decided to make some changes. We're going to need to switch it from a Java based tool to XML with a five layer security encryption and retinal scans." Basically, you get shafted by some executive's arbitrary additions to a project just so he can say he was a part of it without considering the thousands of hours already put in on it.
Roller boaster - someone who starts talking about how great they are and just can't seem to stop.
Sarcasuality - when someone gets "bitten" by sarcasm, enough to give up and leave.
Sarcaustic - corrosive and bitingly trenchant sarcasm.
Sauvaciousness- the essence of attempting to be sauve and cool.
Scrupulon - someone who's so tight with rules that they cease to think for themselves and run the party line as their mantra.
Scrupuloser - the same person but they also hide behind the rules because they don't want to extend (and therefore, risk) themselves in anyway.
Shunshine - what goths and other heliophobes do.
Slumboyant - adj. 1. purposely not showy, used and weathered, but cool, as in thrift shop shit. 2. Typical Santa Cruz CA attitude effecting manner, lifestyle and dress. -slumboyance, slumboyancy, slumboyantly. This comes from Paul, my housemate.
Sophomoronic - the hijinks of the perennially infantile frat boy jackass. The guy at the dinner party who slips some fake bug filled ice cubes into the punch or the guy who breaks into your room to cut the crotches out of all your underwear and pants. See also, Republican Party.
Spame - (pronounced like shame with a p instead of an h) the soul tearing guilt spammers feel knowing that they are the true bottom feeders and scum on the internet.
Specimess - what you give back to the nurse at the sperm bank.
Strategerize- a Bushism meaning the act of creating a strategy to deal with some event.
Sumpathy - feeling bad while watching someone struggle with math or feeling bad for someone who's sump pump has just bit the dust.
Subverseve - attempting to overthrow or distract a person or power by the use of rhymes.
SUMV - Sport Utility Mini Van, what any minivan becomes when a teenage boy gets behind the wheel.
Supperposition - seated at the dinner table and ready to eat.
Supraman - someone who's invincible only in their own minds.
Surprose - the strange situation of, upon being startled, finding that everything you say rhymes.
Tasticles - um, tasty testes?
Tediocracy -when the basic act of participating in government is a tedious pain in the ass that accomplishes nothing as the idiots in charge push a full throttle augering in of the nation, that's living in a tediocracy.
Teenanger - the angry person who's between the ages of 12 and 20. Usually marked by doors being slammed alot, much crying and lots of "I hate you's".
Toeture - foot torture or a pedicure.
Tributt - when a tribute actually makes you feel like an ass or the people offering tribute are assholes.
Trippy - trust fund hippy, the guy who looks like he got dressed by having his clothes shot at him after they'd been rolled on by a pig in the mud, he hangs out all day with his pals smoking dope and kicking hackey sack before getting in his $35,000 Pathfinder and going home to his huge house. This comes from Kelly.
Trool - descriptive term for idiots who spend their time online just pissing people off, a drooling troll.
Tungle - tripping over one's words like an explorer hacking through a thick jungle.
Weapon of Miss Destruction - a guy's wanger. Yeah, yeah, I know its not a single word but a phrase but this one made me laugh out loud and I just had to share it.
Whistl-oke - what its called when I'm sitting at my desk, whistling along with my music but totally oblivious to that fact. Hardy would come in and close my door while proclaiming that Happy Hour was over and the Whistl-oke bar was closed.
Wranglable - ability to be harnessed
Zennui - the nirvana like state produced by acute ennui.
