One thing that I do try to keep in mind, even amid the deep frustration and anger I've felt over the last few days, is that things do get better, life may not improve but it does go on and there's some comfort in that.
There's also a big heaping spoonful of time is wasting and what the fuck am I still doing here and how in the holy fucking hell did I make the mistake after mistake after mistake that wound up landing me here?
Not that it really matters so much how I ended up here but what is more important is how I'm going to move on from here. I know that I don't want to continue down this bitter path. I know I don't want to be one of those perpetually cranky old farts who nobody really likes to be around but they have to.
And I try to keep reminding myself that 42 isn't twice 21 but half of 84. I'm not in double super sudden death overtime here, I'm just getting ready for halftime. And I need to make some adjustments to my game plan so that I can come out for the second half and run the table.
For right now though, I just want to get through Christmas mostly unscathed. I may be an optimist but I'm also a realist and I know there's more shit heading towards the fan, I just need to time my ducking better.