
There's also a big heaping spoonful of time is wasting and what the fuck am I still doing here and how in the holy fucking hell did I make the mistake after mistake after mistake that wound up landing me here?
Not that it really matters so much how I ended up here but what is more important is how I'm going to move on from here. I know that I don't want to continue down this bitter path. I know I don't want to be one of those perpetually cranky old farts who nobody really likes to be around but they have to.
And I try to keep reminding myself that 42 isn't twice 21 but half of 84. I'm not in double super sudden death overtime here, I'm just getting ready for halftime. And I need to make some adjustments to my game plan so that I can come out for the second half and run the table.
For right now though, I just want to get through Christmas mostly unscathed. I may be an optimist but I'm also a realist and I know there's more shit heading towards the fan, I just need to time my ducking better.