5.22.2010

Hasta la Vista, Adderall

Oh Adderall, you came into my life and organized my cluttered brain, you made focusing on my work and tasks easy. You made it easy to drop a few pounds going into my first triathlon and you did much to secure my sanity.

And then things started to go bad.

First, you decided that my forehead really needed a new pimple farm. I'm 40, I don't really need to be dealing with adolescence again. The first time was plenty of fun. This time around, not so much.

Second, damned if you aren't ridiculously expensive. Your little orange-ish pills work out to around $4.50 each.

Third, you started to leave me in the afternoons when I'd get home from work and need you to keep from getting frustrated by family stuff.

Fourth, you pretty well just stopped working altogether.

Fifth, you are, at your basic level, meth amphetamine and that shit is some nasty, nasty stuff. Highly addictive, highly corrosive to lives and, honestly, I just don't want anything to do with you anymore.

We had some good times, Adderall, but its time to move on to other medications and therapies.

Oh, and Adderall, please don't steal a bunch of stuff on your way out. I know you meth monkeys need fast cash to keep the high going but I'll be watching you go so don't try to grab my laptop or tv or kids or anything.
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