1.15.2010

The Forgotten Spice Girls

There were originally ten Spice Girls when the band was formed. The five that became the real Spice Girls killed, chopped up and buried the other five in a shallow grave. This is their story.
There was:
Tacky Spice - she really liked puffy scarves, heavy eye makeup, too much too strong perfume and always, always wore clothes that were too tight.

Old Spice - yeah, she was old but she was the best dancer of the bunch. And she smelled great too.

Scowly Spice - actually, Scowly Spice made it through the culling but emerged as Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham. She's retained alot of Scowly Spice's personality though since nobody has seen her teeth in at least ten years.

Sugar Ann Spice - the rest of the band decided her name was too cute and they tore her limb from limb backstage before their first gig at the Arkansas State Fair.

Slice Spice - she was going to be Scary's sidekick, the crazier one who liked to flick a switchblade all the time. The powers that be figured one crazy nutter Spice Girl was probably more than enough.

Kimbo Spice - somehow the addition of a burly, bearded, back yard bare knuckle brawler didn't quite fit with the hot pants, hair and hooters look of the rest of the band.
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