Fisciocy - (pronunciation - fis-key-ah-see) fiscal idiocy. See, current economic plans in California for a great example.
This new word gives rise to other new ones like fisciocracy - a system of government where the richest people have the most authority. Fiscion - fiscal lies, from fiscal and fiction.
And yes, Fisciocy will be added to the Fictionarium for posterity and ratings.
May 29, 2009
May 28, 2009
T-Minus 10 Days
In ten business days I will be officially unemployed again. While I have some natural angst about this sea change and all of the subsequent changes it will incur in my life, I'm also looking forward to it on several levels.
Don't get me wrong, I like my job quite alot. I like working for teachers who are grateful for the assistance. I like helping kids and I find great satisfaction in resolving computer problems. And I'll definitely miss the excellent health benefits
But I will not miss the bureaucracy, I will not miss the false protection of the union, I will not miss the ever-present layoffs, I will not miss the yearly cuts and the massive stress they create. I will not miss seeing highly qualified teachers and staff released back into the unemployment wilds while more senior staff is kept on solely because of their time served, not because of any other merits.
I also will not miss the increasingly capricious internet filter that blocks sites I would like access to but leaves kids will access to stupid garbage sites like iCarly, FPS shooter game sites (that's first person shooter), Barbie.com, Wambie and a whole host of other sites with zero educational content. Sorry but, in my mind, there's little reason for kids to be able to play video games in a school setting, they have XBoxes, PS3s and Wiis at home for that (though, in the school I'm at today, the kids are far more likely to have game consoles at home than to have computers, that makes me kind of sad).
Other things I will miss are the comradery of the staff and faculty. With a few notable exceptions, people who work in education have great hearts, attitudes and support for others. It is a very nurturing and supportive environment, unlike much of corporate America.
And I totally will not miss the jackass who does the after school program at one of my school's. He used to really bug me but now he no longer matters and I don't care that he's complete ass.
And, finally, I will miss several students especially since I've gotten to know them a little bit and like to think that I've positively effected their schooling.
Also, I'm really looking forward to going camping with my family. Grady asks to go camping nearly every day right now and it'll be fun to get away for a couple of days and enjoy 100% family time together.
Don't get me wrong, I like my job quite alot. I like working for teachers who are grateful for the assistance. I like helping kids and I find great satisfaction in resolving computer problems. And I'll definitely miss the excellent health benefits
But I will not miss the bureaucracy, I will not miss the false protection of the union, I will not miss the ever-present layoffs, I will not miss the yearly cuts and the massive stress they create. I will not miss seeing highly qualified teachers and staff released back into the unemployment wilds while more senior staff is kept on solely because of their time served, not because of any other merits.
I also will not miss the increasingly capricious internet filter that blocks sites I would like access to but leaves kids will access to stupid garbage sites like iCarly, FPS shooter game sites (that's first person shooter), Barbie.com, Wambie and a whole host of other sites with zero educational content. Sorry but, in my mind, there's little reason for kids to be able to play video games in a school setting, they have XBoxes, PS3s and Wiis at home for that (though, in the school I'm at today, the kids are far more likely to have game consoles at home than to have computers, that makes me kind of sad).
Other things I will miss are the comradery of the staff and faculty. With a few notable exceptions, people who work in education have great hearts, attitudes and support for others. It is a very nurturing and supportive environment, unlike much of corporate America.
And I totally will not miss the jackass who does the after school program at one of my school's. He used to really bug me but now he no longer matters and I don't care that he's complete ass.
And, finally, I will miss several students especially since I've gotten to know them a little bit and like to think that I've positively effected their schooling.
Also, I'm really looking forward to going camping with my family. Grady asks to go camping nearly every day right now and it'll be fun to get away for a couple of days and enjoy 100% family time together.
May 27, 2009
NWoTD - Faillow
Faillow - follow fail, i.e. someone follows you on Twitter in the vain hopes that you'll automatically follow them back. For whatever reason, you do not follow them back and that is the very definition of a faillow.
Hit up the Fictionarium for more new words from my clever little mind. Rate 'em if you like.
Hit up the Fictionarium for more new words from my clever little mind. Rate 'em if you like.
Labels:
nwotd
TUF Thinking
The 9th season of The Ultimate Fighter is starting to wind down. Lots of the bravado has been spewed, there was a, thankfully, short introduction and quick whooping of Junie Browning Jr., another redneck with a taste for alcohol and being a colossal douchebag, but the real mark on this season has been the United States versus the United Kingdom aspect.
Of course, the coaches are a big part of the show and they couldn't be more polar opposite. Dan Henderson is an old school, tough as nails, been there done that, don't need to brag about did it wrestler turned fighter. His pedigree is legend, his mentality is balls to the wall. Michael Bisping is the UK coach, he made his mark on MMA and the UFC by winning a previous season. Where Hendo is quiet and thoughtful, Bisping is brash, abrasive and cocky.
I've never been much of a Bisping fan, he's a good fighter to be sure, but he's kind of a cock and its hard to root for a cock, maybe unless you're kind of a cock yourself, I don't know.
In the coach's battle, I'm all Hendo and I'm looking forward to seeing Hendo thrash Bisping like the loud mouthed prick he is at the end of the season. Of course, it probably won't be anywhere near as one-sided as I'm hoping but I'm pretty confident that Hendo will handle Bisping.
Now, to the fighters. I actually find myself liking the UK team more. They seem like a good bunch of guys for the most part. Some of the Americans are alright but they seem to be more talk than action, more bullshit than results and kind of come off like dicks.
And in tonight's episode, Michael Bisping apparently goes one big step over the line and sprays water from his water bottle into the face of Damarques, an American fighter with a big mouth. We'll see how it all shakes out in the end.
Overall, the UK fighters have made this season worth watching for me. But at least there's been less overt idiocy (think Jesse Taylor pissing himself by the pool while drunk and stupid) in the house this season which does nothing but denigrate the sport as a whole.
Of course, the coaches are a big part of the show and they couldn't be more polar opposite. Dan Henderson is an old school, tough as nails, been there done that, don't need to brag about did it wrestler turned fighter. His pedigree is legend, his mentality is balls to the wall. Michael Bisping is the UK coach, he made his mark on MMA and the UFC by winning a previous season. Where Hendo is quiet and thoughtful, Bisping is brash, abrasive and cocky.
I've never been much of a Bisping fan, he's a good fighter to be sure, but he's kind of a cock and its hard to root for a cock, maybe unless you're kind of a cock yourself, I don't know.
In the coach's battle, I'm all Hendo and I'm looking forward to seeing Hendo thrash Bisping like the loud mouthed prick he is at the end of the season. Of course, it probably won't be anywhere near as one-sided as I'm hoping but I'm pretty confident that Hendo will handle Bisping.
Now, to the fighters. I actually find myself liking the UK team more. They seem like a good bunch of guys for the most part. Some of the Americans are alright but they seem to be more talk than action, more bullshit than results and kind of come off like dicks.
And in tonight's episode, Michael Bisping apparently goes one big step over the line and sprays water from his water bottle into the face of Damarques, an American fighter with a big mouth. We'll see how it all shakes out in the end.
Overall, the UK fighters have made this season worth watching for me. But at least there's been less overt idiocy (think Jesse Taylor pissing himself by the pool while drunk and stupid) in the house this season which does nothing but denigrate the sport as a whole.
Labels:
mma,
reality tv,
TUF
May 26, 2009
My Twitter Follow Back Formula
Because I am, at heart, a nerd in a Greek god's body, I run a series of calculations to arrive at most every decision I consciously make during the day. From the risk/reward calculation about either blocking the asshole in the pickup driving like he's in the Indy 500 or just letting him go to whether the deliciousness of a pair of Wendy's Double Stack burgers is sufficient to offset the gut bomb of fat and empty calories.
Seriously, I do this all day, every day. I always have and expect that I always will.
So it is natural, when it comes to Twitter that I'd apply the same rules of the road, as it were. I thought I'd try and detail my thought process in deciding to follow or not follow a new Tweep, or, in rare cases, blocking them entirely.
Satisfying these minimum req's isn't a guarantee of a follow but missing any of these is pretty likely to result in a non-follow.
1. An avatar. The default little o big O thing shows a stunning lack of creativity.
2. A bio.
3. An url linked to your website, not MySpace, not Facebook and not, not, not to Twitter or Google, you're not being clever, you're being annoying.
4. Updates, not retweets, not links to boner pill sites, not links to free laptop/iphone/Xbox sites. Updates are personal, they are interesting, they are readable (txt spk makes me want to smack you, sorry). Some retweets are totally fine but if that's all you do or if all you do is post links to your site then I'm just not interested.
5. A low signal to noise ratio. If you tweet every two minutes about every minute thing happening to you then you will be unfollowed quickly.
6. A really high ratio of followed to followers. I've seen people following 3,000 and having less than 10 follow them, this is a pretty clear sign that you have little of value to share with the community.
7. Auto direct messages (DM) upon following exhorting me to visit your website. If you're on a trial follow period (and you are) and you do this then you have failed and will be faillowed (which is a brand spanking new word for fail followed, i.e. unfollowed).
8. Being funny - being funny is a great way to get me to follow you. Being funny, mildly vulgar and female is even better (see @everydaystrange for a perfect example of this trinity of awesomeness).
9. A cool background pic on your Twitter page never hurts.
10. Readable tweets - I've seen some color choices that make reading the tweets all but impossible. Grey lettering on a white background is ANNOYING!, not cool.
Lastly,
11. Be interesting. Simple.
This list is, by no stretch, comprehensive. It is ever changing depending on conditions, mood, wind speed and the angle of the sun's rays hitting the earth. I am capricious, I am, occasionally, vengeful, I am always seeking something or someone that can make me laugh.
What's your Twitter follow back formula? Post it in the comments. And, as always, you're welcome to follow me on Twitter, just don't take it personally if I don't follow you back.
Seriously, I do this all day, every day. I always have and expect that I always will.
So it is natural, when it comes to Twitter that I'd apply the same rules of the road, as it were. I thought I'd try and detail my thought process in deciding to follow or not follow a new Tweep, or, in rare cases, blocking them entirely.
Satisfying these minimum req's isn't a guarantee of a follow but missing any of these is pretty likely to result in a non-follow.
1. An avatar. The default little o big O thing shows a stunning lack of creativity.
2. A bio.
3. An url linked to your website, not MySpace, not Facebook and not, not, not to Twitter or Google, you're not being clever, you're being annoying.
4. Updates, not retweets, not links to boner pill sites, not links to free laptop/iphone/Xbox sites. Updates are personal, they are interesting, they are readable (txt spk makes me want to smack you, sorry). Some retweets are totally fine but if that's all you do or if all you do is post links to your site then I'm just not interested.
5. A low signal to noise ratio. If you tweet every two minutes about every minute thing happening to you then you will be unfollowed quickly.
6. A really high ratio of followed to followers. I've seen people following 3,000 and having less than 10 follow them, this is a pretty clear sign that you have little of value to share with the community.
7. Auto direct messages (DM) upon following exhorting me to visit your website. If you're on a trial follow period (and you are) and you do this then you have failed and will be faillowed (which is a brand spanking new word for fail followed, i.e. unfollowed).
8. Being funny - being funny is a great way to get me to follow you. Being funny, mildly vulgar and female is even better (see @everydaystrange for a perfect example of this trinity of awesomeness).
9. A cool background pic on your Twitter page never hurts.
10. Readable tweets - I've seen some color choices that make reading the tweets all but impossible. Grey lettering on a white background is ANNOYING!, not cool.
Lastly,
11. Be interesting. Simple.
This list is, by no stretch, comprehensive. It is ever changing depending on conditions, mood, wind speed and the angle of the sun's rays hitting the earth. I am capricious, I am, occasionally, vengeful, I am always seeking something or someone that can make me laugh.
What's your Twitter follow back formula? Post it in the comments. And, as always, you're welcome to follow me on Twitter, just don't take it personally if I don't follow you back.
Still Not Quite Right
So yeah, I spent way too many hours trying to get Intellectual Poison right again after the move to BlueHost. But there are some issues that are not easy to figure out, the "help" files are as obtuse as reading sanskrit in a sandstorm and I just don't get why the system is doing what its doing. It makes no sense to me.
But I will continue to battle the forces of confusing coding until a resolution is found. In the meantime, whenever I publish the blog, I need to go into my cpanel and copy the updated index from a buried subdirectory and move it into the top directory. Loads of fun. No, not really. But at least it works. Sort of.
Anyway, lots to update, lots to pontificate and lots of insights to relate. So much pending its like sitting below a thought cornice.
But I will continue to battle the forces of confusing coding until a resolution is found. In the meantime, whenever I publish the blog, I need to go into my cpanel and copy the updated index from a buried subdirectory and move it into the top directory. Loads of fun. No, not really. But at least it works. Sort of.
Anyway, lots to update, lots to pontificate and lots of insights to relate. So much pending its like sitting below a thought cornice.
May 24, 2009
And We're Back!
Well now, that wasn't near as difficult or painful as I expected it to be. I'm sure there'll be some lost links and files and things but, for the most part, the migration was a pretty smooth one.
And now there's no space limitations, the support site seems to work without issues and we're no longer paying for hosting on two different sites. Seems like a solid win/win to me.
Actually, the site finished migrating yesterday, I just got sidetracked with a kid's party and then a sweet night of UFC 98 ass kicking action!
And now there's no space limitations, the support site seems to work without issues and we're no longer paying for hosting on two different sites. Seems like a solid win/win to me.
Actually, the site finished migrating yesterday, I just got sidetracked with a kid's party and then a sweet night of UFC 98 ass kicking action!
May 23, 2009
Please Stand By...Migration to Less Annoying Hosting Services Underway
I'm in the process of migrating Intellectual Poison to a hosting service that doesn't suck anywhere near as badly and as often as EHostPros. More on their fail after fail after fail later.
Labels:
hosting
May 21, 2009
A Most Unusual Taxi Ride
Years ago, back in the early 90's, I spent a year living overseas in Cape Town in South Africa. This was before the first Democratic elections, there was quite alot of strife, violence and general insanity across the entire country. But it was mostly centered around Johannesburg to the northeast.The cheapest and most convenient way to get around the city without a car was to take the minibus taxis that would run into and out of the city. These were stripped minibuses made to hold as many people as possible and were sometimes referred to as black taxis because the predominant customers were blacks and mixed race folks.
I lived outside the city and worked in the downtown so I took a taxi in more often than not and almost never had any problems doing so. Yes, I'm a white guy but, upon hearing my American accent, any dislike was immediately replaced by questions, lots of questions about America. One rather interesting thing that I learned was that most South Africans seemed to think that America was made up of New York City and Los Angeles and pretty much nothing else. They patently refused to believe me when I would explain that the US was much, much larger than South Africa with fifty states and a whole variety of people across the nation.
But anyway, one day, when I left the health club and caught a taxi heading home, I climbed into the front seat next to a white girl and the rest of the taxi was loaded with blacks and mixed race folks. Most everyone was in a pretty good mood and the driver was a very, very dark skinned man with a bright white smile and a happy demeanor to him.
We stopped again on the way out of town and picked up a quite obviously drunk as a skunk mixed race man. He crawled into the minibus, stepping on people and generally making an immediate nuisance of himself. Once he got settled, he saw that there were two white people in the van and immediately started to talk about the upcoming elections.
And he talked about how he was going to kill lots of white people once the blacks had control of the country. And how he was going to move into a mansion in Camp's Bay. And how he was going to have a white servant working for him. And on and on.
The white girl next to me got very tense and would do nothing but stare straight ahead. The others in the minibus tried to talk some reason to the guy, telling him that he should shut up, that things weren't going to happen like he was saying, that the country needed the white people as much as the blacks, coloreds and orientals (what some called the Asians/Indian population).
But nothing would quiet him down and he took to pointing his long bony finger at me and the white girl, saying that we would suffer like he'd suffer. He said a lot of stuff in Xhosa, a local tribal language, that I didn't understand. But he also said plenty in English for our benefit. The others in the minibus became a bit more forceful in their telling him to shut up, he was acting like an ass, etc.
The previously happy and smiling driver was no longer smiling and was spending as much time looking in his rear view at the drunk rabblerouser as at the road ahead.
I can't quite recall what exactly was said but he pulled over the taxi after something particularly abrasive was shouted by the drunk guy. Four or five of the other passengers grabbed him, the driver jumped out (he was a big, big man), grabbed his whacking stick from behind his seat. They yanked the drunk guy out, dragged him to the other side of the street, up a short flight of stairs, tossed him to the ground and the driver smashed him upside the head with his stick.
He might have hit him again, I wasn't sure.
Then, everyone came back down, climbed back in the van, smiles came back out, the driver said something cheerful to me and the white girl and we went on our way. The other passengers were laughing about it already.
As we drove away, I looked back at where the drunk guy had been knocked down behind the building. He'd gotten to his feet and appeared from behind the wall, blood streaming down his face, shouting and gesticulating with his hands. I couldn't hear what he was saying but it didn't really matter.
The funny thing was that, at no time did I feel even the slightest bit threatened by him. I think it was because all of the other passengers were so strongly telling him to shut up, how wrong he was, how stupid he was being. The white girl sitting next to me definitely felt really scared and worried for her safety but she also visibly relaxed when the drunk guy had been removed.
And that was about the strangest taxi ride I've ever been on.
Labels:
south africa,
taxi
May 20, 2009
Things I Do Not Care About
- American Idol.
- Dancing with the Stars.
- Whether Jennifer Aniston is happy or not.
- If GM and Chrysler survive.
- Who Hayden Panettiere is dating.
- The NBA playoffs or basketball period.
- Tweeps who self-identify as internet marketing experts.
- Why Oprah's weight won't stay off.
- Manny Ramirez' supposed inability to get a boner.
That's about all I can come up with for now. What are the Things You Don't Care About?
- Dancing with the Stars.
- Whether Jennifer Aniston is happy or not.
- If GM and Chrysler survive.
- Who Hayden Panettiere is dating.
- The NBA playoffs or basketball period.
- Tweeps who self-identify as internet marketing experts.
- Why Oprah's weight won't stay off.
- Manny Ramirez' supposed inability to get a boner.
That's about all I can come up with for now. What are the Things You Don't Care About?
Labels:
do not care
Insert Witticisms and Snark Here
I've got a ton of things going on these days, I'm either out working every night or out at presentations. I put in a 12 hour plus day of work yesterday and won't be home tonight until probably 9 again. Needless to say, I'm starting to get worn out and, on occasion, cranky.
But I know that my clock is running out and that soon I'll be among the unemployed or underemployed since one of my school sites is able to hire me outside of the school district and union rules. It won't be anywhere near enough but it will help to have some consistent income.
Our current reality isn't especially rosy and its hard to think about what is going to happen if things don't start clicking in the right way for us. I'm trying to use the pending reality as motivation to get our network marketing business up and rolling. It all sometimes feels a little overwhelming and sometimes I just feel like crawling back into bed and pulling the covers over my head even knowing that doing so won't keep the boogeyman from coming and demanding payment for bills.
Sometimes, well, alot of times, being an adult and parent really sucks major ass. And its much worse when the economy has tanked and the job market is flooded with other people in the same boat.
But I know that my clock is running out and that soon I'll be among the unemployed or underemployed since one of my school sites is able to hire me outside of the school district and union rules. It won't be anywhere near enough but it will help to have some consistent income.
Our current reality isn't especially rosy and its hard to think about what is going to happen if things don't start clicking in the right way for us. I'm trying to use the pending reality as motivation to get our network marketing business up and rolling. It all sometimes feels a little overwhelming and sometimes I just feel like crawling back into bed and pulling the covers over my head even knowing that doing so won't keep the boogeyman from coming and demanding payment for bills.
Sometimes, well, alot of times, being an adult and parent really sucks major ass. And its much worse when the economy has tanked and the job market is flooded with other people in the same boat.
May 19, 2009
UFC 98 Predictions
Another big night of UFC action is coming up on Saturday the 23rd. This event will be UFC 98 featuring a championship battle between Light Heavyweight Champ Rashad Evans and Lyoto Machida, both fighters are undefeated in mixed martial arts competition (18-0-1 for Evans and 14-0 for Machida). Their styles are contrasting but both are superb fighters and this fight should be awesome. Hard as it may to believe, I'm looking more forward to the Hughes/Serra match on the undercard. And I'm hopeful that Matt Serra gets the sound ass-kicking he so richly deserves.
Anyway, without further ado, here are my predictions/wishes for the night's fights.
UFC Light Heavyweight Championship
Rashad Evans vs. Lyoto Machida
Prediction: Machida by KO in Round 2
Reason: I have the greatest respect for Rashad Evans, he's a star, he's a champion and a superb fighter. But Lyoto Machida is very hard to train for, he's elusive, he's technically precise and can hit like a sledgehammer. Either way, this is going to be a fantastic battle.
Matt Hughes vs. Matt Serra
Prediction: Hughes by annihilation (KO) in Round 3
Reason: I dislike both Matts here but my dislike for Matt Serra is about fifty times more than for Hughes (who's main fault is his preachyness).
Dan Miller vs. Chael Sonnen
Prediction: Sonnen by submission in Round 1
Reason: Chael Sonnen's jui-jitsu game is very, very solid. Miller's a good fighter but I don't think the caliber of his ground game is up to Sonnen's. If the fight stays on its feet then Miller is likely to win but if it goes to the ground then Sonnen should be able to end it pretty quickly.
Sean Sherk vs. Frankie Edgar
Prediction: Sherk by KO in Round 2
Reason: Frankie Edgar's a good fighter but I think Sean Sherk is stronger and will overwhelm Edgar.
Phillipe Nover vs. Kyle Bradley
Prediction: Nover by TKO in Round 2
Reason: Nover's first impression on the MMA fans was fainting during the first show of The Ultimate Fighter season 8. He's since redeemed himself with some great fights showing a highly aggressive style, great power and a strong desire to finish his opponents. I don't know too much about Bradley but I think Nover's going to swarm him and knock him out.
Chris Wilson vs. Brock Larson
Prediction: Wilson by Submission in Round 2
Reason: Chris Wilson and his family were just robbed at gunpoint in Brazil. He and his family survived. No offense to Brock Larson but I'm pulling for the guy.
Drew McFedries vs. Xavier Foupa-Pokam
Prediction: Foupa-Pokam by TKO in Round 1
Reason: Every fight of McFedries I've seen he either annihilates the other guy or he gets annihilated. Makes for a good fight but not a really smart career strategy.
David Kaplan vs. George Roop
Prediction: Roop by Submission in Round 3
Reason: Dave Kaplan came off as a goof on the Ultimate Fighter, a drunk goof who thought he could take anyone's punch. He was proven wrong, getting knocked out in the bathroom of the house and then getting his ass kicked by Junie "White Trash and Proud of It" Browning. George Roop comes off as much more mature, much more dedicated to the sport and I don't think he's going to get away from his game plan.
Andre Gusmao vs. Krzysztof Soszynski
Prediction: Sosznski by TKO in Round 2
Reason: I don't know Gusmao, he's relatively inexperienced with a 5-1 record. I do know Krzysztof is a tough bastard with good striking and surprisingly good jui jitsu. I'm going with what I know and taking Krzysztof.
And there we go. Quick rundown is: Machida, Hughes, Sonnen, Sherk, Nover, Wilson, Foupa-Pokam, Roop and then Sosznski. That's nine called results, more than my usual predictions. Check back in on Sunday to see how I did and post your own predictions in the comments.
Anyway, without further ado, here are my predictions/wishes for the night's fights.
UFC Light Heavyweight Championship
Rashad Evans vs. Lyoto Machida
Prediction: Machida by KO in Round 2
Reason: I have the greatest respect for Rashad Evans, he's a star, he's a champion and a superb fighter. But Lyoto Machida is very hard to train for, he's elusive, he's technically precise and can hit like a sledgehammer. Either way, this is going to be a fantastic battle.
Matt Hughes vs. Matt Serra
Prediction: Hughes by annihilation (KO) in Round 3
Reason: I dislike both Matts here but my dislike for Matt Serra is about fifty times more than for Hughes (who's main fault is his preachyness).
Dan Miller vs. Chael Sonnen
Prediction: Sonnen by submission in Round 1
Reason: Chael Sonnen's jui-jitsu game is very, very solid. Miller's a good fighter but I don't think the caliber of his ground game is up to Sonnen's. If the fight stays on its feet then Miller is likely to win but if it goes to the ground then Sonnen should be able to end it pretty quickly.
Sean Sherk vs. Frankie Edgar
Prediction: Sherk by KO in Round 2
Reason: Frankie Edgar's a good fighter but I think Sean Sherk is stronger and will overwhelm Edgar.
Phillipe Nover vs. Kyle Bradley
Prediction: Nover by TKO in Round 2
Reason: Nover's first impression on the MMA fans was fainting during the first show of The Ultimate Fighter season 8. He's since redeemed himself with some great fights showing a highly aggressive style, great power and a strong desire to finish his opponents. I don't know too much about Bradley but I think Nover's going to swarm him and knock him out.
Chris Wilson vs. Brock Larson
Prediction: Wilson by Submission in Round 2
Reason: Chris Wilson and his family were just robbed at gunpoint in Brazil. He and his family survived. No offense to Brock Larson but I'm pulling for the guy.
Drew McFedries vs. Xavier Foupa-Pokam
Prediction: Foupa-Pokam by TKO in Round 1
Reason: Every fight of McFedries I've seen he either annihilates the other guy or he gets annihilated. Makes for a good fight but not a really smart career strategy.
David Kaplan vs. George Roop
Prediction: Roop by Submission in Round 3
Reason: Dave Kaplan came off as a goof on the Ultimate Fighter, a drunk goof who thought he could take anyone's punch. He was proven wrong, getting knocked out in the bathroom of the house and then getting his ass kicked by Junie "White Trash and Proud of It" Browning. George Roop comes off as much more mature, much more dedicated to the sport and I don't think he's going to get away from his game plan.
Andre Gusmao vs. Krzysztof Soszynski
Prediction: Sosznski by TKO in Round 2
Reason: I don't know Gusmao, he's relatively inexperienced with a 5-1 record. I do know Krzysztof is a tough bastard with good striking and surprisingly good jui jitsu. I'm going with what I know and taking Krzysztof.
And there we go. Quick rundown is: Machida, Hughes, Sonnen, Sherk, Nover, Wilson, Foupa-Pokam, Roop and then Sosznski. That's nine called results, more than my usual predictions. Check back in on Sunday to see how I did and post your own predictions in the comments.
Labels:
mma,
predictions,
UFC
May 18, 2009
Layoffification
Up until about ten years ago, I'd never been laid off from a job. I'd been fired sure and had quit other jobs but never been laid off. In the last ten years I've been laid off three times and am about to be laid off for the fourth time in a couple of weeks when the school year draws to a close.
With some luck and hard work, I won't ever be in a position be laid off again because of our new venture with Kyani. But this post isn't about network marketing or why I think it could be our saviour.
Nope, this post is about all of the inventive ways that layoffs are euphemized. And so, without further ado, let's get to the notices.
Retrenchment - I first heard this in South Africa many years ago. Fitting because it means being returned to the trenches to fight for another job.
Frogwalked - when the dotcom bubble burst and companies were folding overnight, I've heard about layoffs being accompanied by security guards "assisting" former employees to the door in order to keep them from stealing supplies.
Re-aligning our cost structure - seen on Twitter this morning. Execu-speak for layoffs, doesn't that sound nicer than layoff?
Streamlined - almost sounds like it could be a good thing. And I suppose it is for the executives who keep their jobs and their fat bonuses for crappy work.
Offboarded - I'm not sure about where this one comes from nor does it sound like anything good. Probably because of the pervasiveness of "water-boarding" in the media these days.
Corporate outplacing - basically, your job has been given to someone overseas who'll do it half as well for a tenth the cost. Isn't a global economy awesome?
Synergy-related headcount restructuring - I think, if someone were to say this to me, I'd shout BINGO! and ask where to pick up my winnings.
Non-essential employees - which is, basically, saying "fuck-you, you aren't good enough to stay".
Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that there are very solid reasons for laying off employees. But putting a dress on a pig doesn't make it a prom queen and making up euphemistic phrases to sugarcoat the reality of a layoff is a disservice and, essentially, rude to the people being thrown back into the job market.
Be a real leader, be straight and up front with your soon-to-be previous employees and they'll not only respect you for it, they won't go out of their way to slag you online and to other people they know.
With some luck and hard work, I won't ever be in a position be laid off again because of our new venture with Kyani. But this post isn't about network marketing or why I think it could be our saviour.
Nope, this post is about all of the inventive ways that layoffs are euphemized. And so, without further ado, let's get to the notices.
Retrenchment - I first heard this in South Africa many years ago. Fitting because it means being returned to the trenches to fight for another job.
Frogwalked - when the dotcom bubble burst and companies were folding overnight, I've heard about layoffs being accompanied by security guards "assisting" former employees to the door in order to keep them from stealing supplies.
Re-aligning our cost structure - seen on Twitter this morning. Execu-speak for layoffs, doesn't that sound nicer than layoff?
Streamlined - almost sounds like it could be a good thing. And I suppose it is for the executives who keep their jobs and their fat bonuses for crappy work.
Offboarded - I'm not sure about where this one comes from nor does it sound like anything good. Probably because of the pervasiveness of "water-boarding" in the media these days.
Corporate outplacing - basically, your job has been given to someone overseas who'll do it half as well for a tenth the cost. Isn't a global economy awesome?
Synergy-related headcount restructuring - I think, if someone were to say this to me, I'd shout BINGO! and ask where to pick up my winnings.
Non-essential employees - which is, basically, saying "fuck-you, you aren't good enough to stay".
Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that there are very solid reasons for laying off employees. But putting a dress on a pig doesn't make it a prom queen and making up euphemistic phrases to sugarcoat the reality of a layoff is a disservice and, essentially, rude to the people being thrown back into the job market.
Be a real leader, be straight and up front with your soon-to-be previous employees and they'll not only respect you for it, they won't go out of their way to slag you online and to other people they know.
Labels:
euphemisms,
layoff
May 16, 2009
My Thought and Inspiration for the Day
Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
If you are in a comfortable place then you are not working to improve yourself or expand your horizons, you are resting, you are sitting back and not fully engaged in the changing world around you.
If you are in a comfortable place then you are not working to improve yourself or expand your horizons, you are resting, you are sitting back and not fully engaged in the changing world around you.
Labels:
quote
May 15, 2009
Why I Got Into Network Marketing
Like many people, I hear the words network marketing or multi-level marketing and cringe just a little bit. The connotations raised by MLM's are not especially positive. I was deeply skeptical and pretty strongly opposed to the idea before I'd even learned about the opportunity. Just as I'm sure your eyes rolled a tiny bit when you saw what this blog post was about.
So what changed my mind?
Timing.
Let's hypothetically say that you could go back in time and join Amway in the first two years after it launched. Would you? Would you do it knowing that those people that did join early on are multimillionaires now? I know I for damned sure would.
The company that I've joined up with is in the same position but with many notable improvements. Things that make the concept a lot less dissuasive. Like no paperwork, no keeping an inventory, no selling, no huge list of products and no massive start up costs.
Other things that have helped me make the leap into network marketing: Timing, the backend financial support, the products themselves, the support system and the compensation system.
The timing refers to where this company is in its growth cycle. It launched about a year and a half ago and is growing at an incredible rate right now. In three to four years the number of distributors will go from around 25,000 now to 500,000 or more. Getting in now means getting in ahead of the massive growth.
The back end financial support is an investment of a half a billion dollars by two families that were already rich before this all got started.
The products are the best I've ever used, are focused on health and wellness which is going to be growing from a $400 billion industry now to a trillion dollar industry in the next few years as the baby boomers continue to age. What does that mean? There's a freakin' huge opportunity to capitalize on that movement and the desire to stay active later and later in life.
The support system is huge because there's no way I'd be able or comfortable taking on this opportunity on my own. Support means there is always someone there to help you out, always someone there to answer your questions, give a presentation to prospective new distributors and always someone there to lift you up if someone's knocked me down.
And that's one thing that I'm developing a thicker skin about. There are always going to be people that deride network marketing without ever bothering to take a closer look at what they are deriding. They call them pyramid schemes which is actually not even really true.
Take a look at any corporation, that's a pyramid. There's a CEO who has a staff directly under him with more staff under them and so on down the line until you get to the grunts in the trenches who do the real work. Look at the military, look at the government, these are classic pyramids where all of the power and money is concentrated at the very top and the worker bees who do the actual work are at the very bottom.
In a properly sorted out MLM, there is a real possibility to achieve the top positions by anyone in the company. There is a real capability to surpass others through your hard work. That isn't a pyramid scheme.
Some people look at MLMs and think of Bernie Madoff and his ponzi scheme of economic doom. The difference there is that Madoff traded in lies and took money from new people to pay off others, there was nothing produced and nothing consumed except new investors' cash.
An MLM moves products, there is a concrete chain of accountability and it is a disservice to dismiss an MLM as a ponzi or pyramid scheme.
The last and most compelling reason is how this company compensates its distributors. This company returns two thirds of every dollar brought into the system to its distributors, most other MLMs hover at around fifty cents on the dollar. One of the most impressive aspects of the compensation is something I've not seen or heard anywhere else, its a matching check. If the three people you personally sponsor in the program earn $1000 each through their residuals, the company will match that and send me a check for $3000. If I have five people making $2000 each in residuals then I make $10,000. No bullshit, this is huge and powerful.
It would all be for naught if the products were crap though. You can't polish a turd (which isn't actually strictly true since I saw the Mythbusters episode where they did, in fact, polish two turdballs to a rather high luster but you get my point).
So, if you've made it this far and you're wondering what the name of the company is then I'll tell you. Its called Kyani. The opportunity is real, the money is real and the company is going to be a massive success either with or without me or you. I definitely don't want to look back in four or five years and see people I know in the company making rather comfortable livings while I sat on my hands and didn't take the plunge.
And, last thought for this rather long post, there isn't failure in a network marketing program, there is only success and those who quit. I don't plan on quitting.
If you are interested in finding out more about this company and the opportunity then you can email me or leave a comment with your email and I'll contact you. I wouldn't be putting this out there if I didn't think it was an awesome opportunity because I know that I'm risking alienating what few readers I do have with this. But I'd be remiss if I didn't offer the opportunity to you all.
So what changed my mind?
Timing.
Let's hypothetically say that you could go back in time and join Amway in the first two years after it launched. Would you? Would you do it knowing that those people that did join early on are multimillionaires now? I know I for damned sure would.
The company that I've joined up with is in the same position but with many notable improvements. Things that make the concept a lot less dissuasive. Like no paperwork, no keeping an inventory, no selling, no huge list of products and no massive start up costs.
Other things that have helped me make the leap into network marketing: Timing, the backend financial support, the products themselves, the support system and the compensation system.
The timing refers to where this company is in its growth cycle. It launched about a year and a half ago and is growing at an incredible rate right now. In three to four years the number of distributors will go from around 25,000 now to 500,000 or more. Getting in now means getting in ahead of the massive growth.
The back end financial support is an investment of a half a billion dollars by two families that were already rich before this all got started.
The products are the best I've ever used, are focused on health and wellness which is going to be growing from a $400 billion industry now to a trillion dollar industry in the next few years as the baby boomers continue to age. What does that mean? There's a freakin' huge opportunity to capitalize on that movement and the desire to stay active later and later in life.
The support system is huge because there's no way I'd be able or comfortable taking on this opportunity on my own. Support means there is always someone there to help you out, always someone there to answer your questions, give a presentation to prospective new distributors and always someone there to lift you up if someone's knocked me down.
And that's one thing that I'm developing a thicker skin about. There are always going to be people that deride network marketing without ever bothering to take a closer look at what they are deriding. They call them pyramid schemes which is actually not even really true.
Take a look at any corporation, that's a pyramid. There's a CEO who has a staff directly under him with more staff under them and so on down the line until you get to the grunts in the trenches who do the real work. Look at the military, look at the government, these are classic pyramids where all of the power and money is concentrated at the very top and the worker bees who do the actual work are at the very bottom.
In a properly sorted out MLM, there is a real possibility to achieve the top positions by anyone in the company. There is a real capability to surpass others through your hard work. That isn't a pyramid scheme.
Some people look at MLMs and think of Bernie Madoff and his ponzi scheme of economic doom. The difference there is that Madoff traded in lies and took money from new people to pay off others, there was nothing produced and nothing consumed except new investors' cash.
An MLM moves products, there is a concrete chain of accountability and it is a disservice to dismiss an MLM as a ponzi or pyramid scheme.
The last and most compelling reason is how this company compensates its distributors. This company returns two thirds of every dollar brought into the system to its distributors, most other MLMs hover at around fifty cents on the dollar. One of the most impressive aspects of the compensation is something I've not seen or heard anywhere else, its a matching check. If the three people you personally sponsor in the program earn $1000 each through their residuals, the company will match that and send me a check for $3000. If I have five people making $2000 each in residuals then I make $10,000. No bullshit, this is huge and powerful.
It would all be for naught if the products were crap though. You can't polish a turd (which isn't actually strictly true since I saw the Mythbusters episode where they did, in fact, polish two turdballs to a rather high luster but you get my point).
So, if you've made it this far and you're wondering what the name of the company is then I'll tell you. Its called Kyani. The opportunity is real, the money is real and the company is going to be a massive success either with or without me or you. I definitely don't want to look back in four or five years and see people I know in the company making rather comfortable livings while I sat on my hands and didn't take the plunge.
And, last thought for this rather long post, there isn't failure in a network marketing program, there is only success and those who quit. I don't plan on quitting.
If you are interested in finding out more about this company and the opportunity then you can email me or leave a comment with your email and I'll contact you. I wouldn't be putting this out there if I didn't think it was an awesome opportunity because I know that I'm risking alienating what few readers I do have with this. But I'd be remiss if I didn't offer the opportunity to you all.
Labels:
networking marketing
May 14, 2009
Canseco = Fail
Jose Canseco's press conference to announce his fight with Hong Man Choi, the 7'2" behemoth MMA fighter, does not get the clamoring crowds he'd been hoping for.To which I say, Ha. Ha. Ha.
I'd be tempted to suggest that the one guy in the chair there is actually asleep or a blow up doll. Or Canseco's lover. Or a corpse. Or an escaped mental patient. Or Roger Clemens.
Why do I dislike Canseco so much even though he's been a major catalyst in splitting open the pinata that is performance enhancing drugs in major league baseball? Because he didn't do it out of the goodness of his heart, he did it for money and because he's a bitter, washed up and poor jackass. He has no interest in helping to clean up the sport, he is only interested in making money because he blew all his money on hookers and blow or whatever his chosen vices were that he can no longer afford.
Jose Canseco happily took part in the steroid era and then, when he bounced out of baseball, he tried to make a buck off of it again.
And now he's been reduced to fighting and getting knocked out in freak shows. Boo-hoo.
May 13, 2009
My Three Step Plan to Clean Up Baseball
Here's my simple plan to clean up baseball and restore its integrity.
1. Announce a one month amnesty period. Any player that comes clean during that period is exempted from repercussions in their past (not any future cheating, of course). This exemption, obviously, wouldn't extend to the fans who would very likely be thoroughly disgusted and pissed off about so many players having been cheaters. There would be a real danger of baseball folding because of the revelations of those taking up the amnesty offer.
2. At the end of the amnesty month, hair samples, urine samples and blood samples will taken from each player, part of the samples will be tested and part will be stored to be tested at a later date as testing methods improve.
3. Any player that did not take the amnesty and is found to have cheated in any way, at any level is permanently banned from Major League Baseball. No baseball, no Hall of Fame, no residuals, no pension, nothing. It would be as if they had never played the game.
It would be brutal to implement and, by some estimates, up to 75 or 80% of players might be eligible to take the amnesty offer. Some would not, of course, and some would eventually be found out to have cheated. Some players would have to pay the price and be banned but the vast majority would see the wisdom and fairness of the new rules and play fair.
Making the penalties severe enough would make the risk/reward equation too lopsided to make sense to even attempt.
But, for something as harsh as this to go into effect, it would require an untainted commissioner with a great big set of balls which pretty much excludes Bud Selig. It would also involve the player's union realizing that these steps would be for everyone's betterment. Why? Because PED's shorten player's lives and suck the quality out of lives that aren't shortened. A cleaner game is a healthier game and that means the players' long term interests are being better served.
Let me know what you think in the comments, I don't pretend to have all the answers and this may not be the perfect solution but I believe its on the right road to a real solution to drugs in professional baseball.
1. Announce a one month amnesty period. Any player that comes clean during that period is exempted from repercussions in their past (not any future cheating, of course). This exemption, obviously, wouldn't extend to the fans who would very likely be thoroughly disgusted and pissed off about so many players having been cheaters. There would be a real danger of baseball folding because of the revelations of those taking up the amnesty offer.
2. At the end of the amnesty month, hair samples, urine samples and blood samples will taken from each player, part of the samples will be tested and part will be stored to be tested at a later date as testing methods improve.
3. Any player that did not take the amnesty and is found to have cheated in any way, at any level is permanently banned from Major League Baseball. No baseball, no Hall of Fame, no residuals, no pension, nothing. It would be as if they had never played the game.
It would be brutal to implement and, by some estimates, up to 75 or 80% of players might be eligible to take the amnesty offer. Some would not, of course, and some would eventually be found out to have cheated. Some players would have to pay the price and be banned but the vast majority would see the wisdom and fairness of the new rules and play fair.
Making the penalties severe enough would make the risk/reward equation too lopsided to make sense to even attempt.
But, for something as harsh as this to go into effect, it would require an untainted commissioner with a great big set of balls which pretty much excludes Bud Selig. It would also involve the player's union realizing that these steps would be for everyone's betterment. Why? Because PED's shorten player's lives and suck the quality out of lives that aren't shortened. A cleaner game is a healthier game and that means the players' long term interests are being better served.
Let me know what you think in the comments, I don't pretend to have all the answers and this may not be the perfect solution but I believe its on the right road to a real solution to drugs in professional baseball.
YouTube to Your Desktop/Device
A friend at one of my schools asked me, because I'm a geek, whether I knew how to download videos from YouTube and then strip the video to be left with an mp3. At the time, I did not, but I flexed my Google-fu and figured it out in pretty short order. It was easy enough that I thought I'd share it with you all.
These instructions are for Mac-based downloading and stripping but the PC version is similarly straight forward so it should be easily adaptable.
1. Find the video you want to download on YouTube or other video sites (I've not tested it on Vimeo or other spots though so YMMV).
2. Copy the URL and paste it into the box at VideoDownloadX (warning, I got two pop ups on the page). Change the suffix on the to be downloaded file to flv (very important).
3. Download the appropriate application for your OS on Vixy. They do have an online converter but I wasn't able to get it to digest my paste URL properly.
4. Once you have the Vixy.net Converter Desktop application, open it up and browse to the downloaded flv file (you did remember to change the suffix, right?). Load it in, select the end product you want (mp4 for iPhone/Touch, mov for desktop or mp3 for just audio) and let it rip. You should end up with a clean file.
5. Import into iTunes or your player of choice and enjoy.
I tested this process out with a sweet video of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones song Kinder Words and it worked like a charm. Great song and a pretty good video too.
Note, in doing this you are almost certainly stepping across the ethical DRM divide with the exception possibly being live performances. So, do this at your own risk.
These instructions are for Mac-based downloading and stripping but the PC version is similarly straight forward so it should be easily adaptable.
1. Find the video you want to download on YouTube or other video sites (I've not tested it on Vimeo or other spots though so YMMV).
2. Copy the URL and paste it into the box at VideoDownloadX (warning, I got two pop ups on the page). Change the suffix on the to be downloaded file to flv (very important).
3. Download the appropriate application for your OS on Vixy. They do have an online converter but I wasn't able to get it to digest my paste URL properly.
4. Once you have the Vixy.net Converter Desktop application, open it up and browse to the downloaded flv file (you did remember to change the suffix, right?). Load it in, select the end product you want (mp4 for iPhone/Touch, mov for desktop or mp3 for just audio) and let it rip. You should end up with a clean file.
5. Import into iTunes or your player of choice and enjoy.
I tested this process out with a sweet video of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones song Kinder Words and it worked like a charm. Great song and a pretty good video too.
Note, in doing this you are almost certainly stepping across the ethical DRM divide with the exception possibly being live performances. So, do this at your own risk.
Labels:
conversion,
download,
howto,
youtube
May 12, 2009
Twitter Feature Requests
I make no bones about the fact that I really like Twitter. I love its immediacy, I love its rambling community, I love sharing pics from the day, I love hearing from friends and some strangers.
But, as with anything, there are downsides to the up. There are people who use Twitter like a blunt marketing instrument. There are bots exhorting you to visit some sex site or some retail site. There are wonks that do nothing but spew links to fake giveaways, that post nothing but words other people have written and then there are people who follow you solely in the hopes that you'll follow them back.
I have one "follower" who started following me yesterday morning. By the afternoon, she'd stopped following and then followed me again. Now, I have my Twitter set to notify me of new follows and the only thing I can conclude from her actions is that she was trying to nudge me towards following her back. Only she's not a Tweep, she's a sales bot. Her sole purpose for being on Twitter is to drive sales for her hand creams and other whatnot. Sorry but I'm not interested and the passive aggressive behavior is seriously off-putting.
As I tend towards optimism mostly, I'll leave the downsides at those above. There are more, of course, but let's turn back towards the light, shall we?
How could Twitter improve? Here are some thoughts from the trenches.
- Create a setting to approve or disallow new followers. Or, even better, to automatically deny access by people with user-defined parameters (like filters so that I could, for example, auto-deny followers who use the word marketing in their bios or they have to ask for permission to follow me first).
- A means to collect, keep and easily share all of the very cool Twitter add-ons. Sort of like a Delicious bookmarking system but within Twitter. It could easily be expanded to beyond just Twitter links but I'd most like to make use of it for Twitter stuff, at least at first.
[Update: Upon further thought, this is actually a pretty good place to use the Favorite function to save posts that contain links to good stuff you want to be able to revisit more easily. Still, it would be good to have a specific function to save links.]
- A conversation setting that would remove any comments outside of a specified conversation across two or more tweeps. This could also involve incorporating response outside of a Tweep's follows. It could be a great way of adding to one's follows and followers lists.
- Categories - I exist in several spheres and it can sometimes be confusing, difficult or just plain taxing to keep who is who separate. This is the same kind of thing that TweetDeck is already doing for users but I'd love to see it incorporated into the site from the get go.
- Private Tweets - less a direct message and more of a private message that only followers noted as friends or in a particular group or category could read. I mean, do I really want people who think I might still be reasonably cool to know that I'm a Skyrates, fantasy baseball, Survivor nerd?
Those are just the ones off the top of my bleached blond head. What features would you love to see loaded into Twitter.
Update: Another one I just thought of. An easy, graphical way to see if someone you follow does not follow you back. All too often, I follow someone back, they eventually realize that I'm a blithering idiot and unfollow me, I'll reply to their tweet about something and they don't see it for a day or two because it doesn't show up in their stream but on their @fenriq (or whoever they are) page.
But, as with anything, there are downsides to the up. There are people who use Twitter like a blunt marketing instrument. There are bots exhorting you to visit some sex site or some retail site. There are wonks that do nothing but spew links to fake giveaways, that post nothing but words other people have written and then there are people who follow you solely in the hopes that you'll follow them back.
I have one "follower" who started following me yesterday morning. By the afternoon, she'd stopped following and then followed me again. Now, I have my Twitter set to notify me of new follows and the only thing I can conclude from her actions is that she was trying to nudge me towards following her back. Only she's not a Tweep, she's a sales bot. Her sole purpose for being on Twitter is to drive sales for her hand creams and other whatnot. Sorry but I'm not interested and the passive aggressive behavior is seriously off-putting.
As I tend towards optimism mostly, I'll leave the downsides at those above. There are more, of course, but let's turn back towards the light, shall we?
How could Twitter improve? Here are some thoughts from the trenches.
- Create a setting to approve or disallow new followers. Or, even better, to automatically deny access by people with user-defined parameters (like filters so that I could, for example, auto-deny followers who use the word marketing in their bios or they have to ask for permission to follow me first).
- A means to collect, keep and easily share all of the very cool Twitter add-ons. Sort of like a Delicious bookmarking system but within Twitter. It could easily be expanded to beyond just Twitter links but I'd most like to make use of it for Twitter stuff, at least at first.
[Update: Upon further thought, this is actually a pretty good place to use the Favorite function to save posts that contain links to good stuff you want to be able to revisit more easily. Still, it would be good to have a specific function to save links.]
- A conversation setting that would remove any comments outside of a specified conversation across two or more tweeps. This could also involve incorporating response outside of a Tweep's follows. It could be a great way of adding to one's follows and followers lists.
- Categories - I exist in several spheres and it can sometimes be confusing, difficult or just plain taxing to keep who is who separate. This is the same kind of thing that TweetDeck is already doing for users but I'd love to see it incorporated into the site from the get go.
- Private Tweets - less a direct message and more of a private message that only followers noted as friends or in a particular group or category could read. I mean, do I really want people who think I might still be reasonably cool to know that I'm a Skyrates, fantasy baseball, Survivor nerd?
Those are just the ones off the top of my bleached blond head. What features would you love to see loaded into Twitter.
Update: Another one I just thought of. An easy, graphical way to see if someone you follow does not follow you back. All too often, I follow someone back, they eventually realize that I'm a blithering idiot and unfollow me, I'll reply to their tweet about something and they don't see it for a day or two because it doesn't show up in their stream but on their @fenriq (or whoever they are) page.
Amazing Surf Photography
My mom sent me a bunch of photos by a guy named Clark Little, his photos are nothing short of astonishing, beautiful and awesome.This is one my favorites from what she sent me.
This is the kind of photography I'd love to be able to do. Unfortunately it requires some rather expensive gear that just isn't in the cards presently. Too many other things taking precedence, like my mortgage and, you know, groceries.
Still, this is fantastic. Check out his site for a whole ton more of them, all for sale.
Labels:
awesome,
photography
May 9, 2009
Choosing a Happier Lens
In much the same way that drunk people make bad choices, like driving, precisely because they are drunk, people who are angry or frustrated are in the worst position to make the right decision to not be angry or frustrated.
And, really, that's all it takes. A conscious decision to not be angry, to not be frustrated. And bam, you are not angry or frustrated. We choose the lens by which we interact with the world. You want to be blue, choose the blue lens. You want to be angry, choose the red lens. You want to be envious, choose the green.
We can opt to not allow our moods to dictate our lives, rather we can dictate our moods.
The trouble is that, occasionally, I forget that I have the remote control. Though, I guess the reality is that it isn't a remote control at all, its all internal, its all hard wired together. But sometimes I forget that I've got the buttons at my command. And I find myself stuck in a crappy mood, determined by what is happening around me, filtered through a lens that I allowed to be placed on my view.
You have the some command control over your life, your moods, your thoughts. It is an empowering realization that should be revisited from time to time to remind oneself of the power over one's personal universe.
You can't control the idiot who cut you off, you can't control the yapping dog across the street, you can't control the douchebag playing his stereo loud enough to rattle your windows at 2 in the morning. In a world where nearly everything is outside of your control, its good to know what you can control.
And, really, that's all it takes. A conscious decision to not be angry, to not be frustrated. And bam, you are not angry or frustrated. We choose the lens by which we interact with the world. You want to be blue, choose the blue lens. You want to be angry, choose the red lens. You want to be envious, choose the green.
We can opt to not allow our moods to dictate our lives, rather we can dictate our moods.
The trouble is that, occasionally, I forget that I have the remote control. Though, I guess the reality is that it isn't a remote control at all, its all internal, its all hard wired together. But sometimes I forget that I've got the buttons at my command. And I find myself stuck in a crappy mood, determined by what is happening around me, filtered through a lens that I allowed to be placed on my view.
You have the some command control over your life, your moods, your thoughts. It is an empowering realization that should be revisited from time to time to remind oneself of the power over one's personal universe.
You can't control the idiot who cut you off, you can't control the yapping dog across the street, you can't control the douchebag playing his stereo loud enough to rattle your windows at 2 in the morning. In a world where nearly everything is outside of your control, its good to know what you can control.
Labels:
control,
perspective
May 7, 2009
Reflecting on Manny
For those of you not knowing, Manny Ramirez just got handed a 50 game suspension for testing positive for a banned substance. His first attempt at an excuse is that he was taking a boner medication that happened to contain a banned substance. Yes, his story is that he took steroids to get an erection.
The fact that those steroids made him stronger and able to hit a ball further and recover more quickly is just a lucky side effect. Of course.
And he feels really, really bad about it. Of course.
Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports is recommending a lifetime ban. Make an example of one of the game's premier hitters. Take away his meal ticket, take away his fame, take away everything that is supposed to mean something to him.
Only by banning cheaters can baseball start to clean up its image. Only by throwing out those that would cheat can baseball regain its integrity.
I'm not so sure how I feel about a lifetime ban.
On the one hand, it is the Dodgers and I hate the Dodgers. On the other hand, it doesn't seem fair to, all of a sudden, start banning players for transgressions in the past. In fact, I think there's a legal term, ex post facto, that covers the concept. It says, basically, that you can't change the law and then go back and prosecute people who broke the newly changed law. You can prosecute moving forward but you cannot do it retroactively.
There's also the very difficult to test for without drawing blood, HGH, human growth hormone, issue. Some speculation is that use in the majors is rampant because it is so difficult to detect. I know, if I were a pro baller and I needed some extra pop in my bat, I would not even consider steroids because of the risks and would go straight to the HGH. But I'm not a baller and am not a cheater by nature. I prefer to win or lose on my own merits and not because of chemicals in a needle.
Do I dislike baseball as a result of all the cheating, the fake apologies (like A-Roid's utter BS, orangeface ridiculousness), the denials, the convoluted excuses, the false outrage by an enabler like Bud Selig, the taint on the name of the game? Yeah, I do certainly do like the sport less. Do I still enjoy it, watch it, consume it and play it via fantasy leagues? Yeah. Its probably akin to learning that Santa Clause isn't real, it doesn't mean you stop celebrating Christmas, it just means you are a little less trusting, it means you are a little more cynical and it means that monstrous whack knocking the ball clear out of the park is a little less laudable and a lot more suspect.
The fact that those steroids made him stronger and able to hit a ball further and recover more quickly is just a lucky side effect. Of course.
And he feels really, really bad about it. Of course.
Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports is recommending a lifetime ban. Make an example of one of the game's premier hitters. Take away his meal ticket, take away his fame, take away everything that is supposed to mean something to him.
Only by banning cheaters can baseball start to clean up its image. Only by throwing out those that would cheat can baseball regain its integrity.
I'm not so sure how I feel about a lifetime ban.
On the one hand, it is the Dodgers and I hate the Dodgers. On the other hand, it doesn't seem fair to, all of a sudden, start banning players for transgressions in the past. In fact, I think there's a legal term, ex post facto, that covers the concept. It says, basically, that you can't change the law and then go back and prosecute people who broke the newly changed law. You can prosecute moving forward but you cannot do it retroactively.
There's also the very difficult to test for without drawing blood, HGH, human growth hormone, issue. Some speculation is that use in the majors is rampant because it is so difficult to detect. I know, if I were a pro baller and I needed some extra pop in my bat, I would not even consider steroids because of the risks and would go straight to the HGH. But I'm not a baller and am not a cheater by nature. I prefer to win or lose on my own merits and not because of chemicals in a needle.
Do I dislike baseball as a result of all the cheating, the fake apologies (like A-Roid's utter BS, orangeface ridiculousness), the denials, the convoluted excuses, the false outrage by an enabler like Bud Selig, the taint on the name of the game? Yeah, I do certainly do like the sport less. Do I still enjoy it, watch it, consume it and play it via fantasy leagues? Yeah. Its probably akin to learning that Santa Clause isn't real, it doesn't mean you stop celebrating Christmas, it just means you are a little less trusting, it means you are a little more cynical and it means that monstrous whack knocking the ball clear out of the park is a little less laudable and a lot more suspect.
Politics and Cocktails
Originally written and published in November 2003 somewhere in the backwaters of the internets. Just found it again and liked it enough to republish it. Not a short story per se, more like a slightly extended scene.
Late one night, after exhausting himself painting yet another large canvass of emotional reds and swirled blacks, a turning out of his emotional state, Ian was just about to flop down and pass out when he heard a gentle knock on his door. For some reason he knew it would be Astrid and when he opened the door he smiled to her and for knowing it would be her. He liked moments when he felt like he could see what was going to happen next.
"Are you still up, Ian?" she asked as she pushed by him and entered his cluttered living room that was more studio than living space.
"Almost, you got me just as I was about to sack out, what time is it anyway?"
"Three thirty or so," she said over her shoulder while she looked at his fresh canvas leaning against the wall after losing the battle to his paintbrush. "Are you in a bad mood?"
"No, not at all, why do you ask?"
"This painting," she pointed a delicate finger at the large and newly completed oil, "It's very dark, brooding and makes me feel sort of a raging something from you or am I misinterpreting it?"
"No, I guess I hadn't thought of it like that. Its less of a rage thing and more of a venting, lots of internal demons and they always seem to want to come out as reds and blacks. I've gotta at least try to live up to the suffering artist persona I've been slavishly cultivating since college," he tried to make light her question even while he shifted uneasily on the balls of his feet, feeling the heat of her scrutiny on both him and the painting. He knew that the painting was really a reflection of how she made him feel, an impotent rage that he railed against but couldn't battle through. But he was also nowhere near tired enough, drunk enough (he normally drank a bottle or two of wine when he painted as it freed up his constricted movements) or comfortable enough to tell her any of that.
"You must have some pretty powerful demons inside you if this is how they manifest themselves in your work but enough about your art, I know you get uncomfortable when people talk about it too much with you around. How about a drink instead?"
"Sure, its too late for a bar but I've got some Bushmills and ginger ale, if that's alright with you?" and he headed for the kitchen, grateful for he excuse to do something.
"That sounds lovely, I had an old friend who used to drink Bushmill's like it was water, its too much straight up like he drank it but with some ginger ale sounds good," she followed him into the kitchen and leaned her slender frame against the doorframe to watch him mix.
"What were you up to this evening that you're just getting home now?" he asked her in an offhand way, trying to mask his curiosity.
"I had a date that went into a little bit of overtime," she began and then, noticing his surprised look, "Oh no, not like that! What kind of girl do you think I am? We got to talking about politics, the current foreign policy situation and potential ways to repair the country's sagging image around the world."
"And what did you come up with?"
"The first step is to start fresh, a new president, all new Senators, all new Congressmen, all new pages, all new everything. A clean slate is the only way I can think of to clear out all the favoritism and cronyism and all those other dirty 'ism words that just mean people cheating the system they were elected to protect."
"Sounds like you're on the right track, but why stop there? Why not remove all the corrupt cops, mayors, governors and all the other crooks in expensive suits?"
"I think that wouldn't be a bad idea, eventually, but to start the process, it has to be a decapitation, remove the head and the body will fall. God, I sound like a kung-fu movie," she laughed.
He handed her a tall cocktail and walked with her back into the living room. He took a moment to clean off a space on the couch next to his thinking chair, an old, faded green leather chair that he'd had since he moved to the city years and years ago.
"There's nothing wrong with kung-fu movies that a little better voice over wouldn't fix," Ian said in a matter of fact voice.
"I don't know about that, I can think of lots of things that would need to be fixed in kung-fu movies to make them more viewable but let's try to stay on the politics thing, I won't be able to get to sleep until I've worked it out of my system," she steered him back to the original topic.
"Okay, what else is on your mind? The failings of the electoral college, the utter removal of checks and balances for the most powerful man in the world? The appointment of soul-less old men to guide the country?" he asked her, partially in jest but also because he was a little confused by her signals, she would lean towards him, put a hand on his arm and then back away again, settling all the way back against the couch.
"Don't be an ass, the electoral college isn't failing, our use of it is failing, WE are failing the founding fathers, we're not staying true to their desires," she snapped at him. And then, realizing that she was excessively sharp with him, reached out to take his hand in hers. "I'm sorry, dear, its not you, I've got some other things on my mind as well as this whole politics thing.
"Okay, then I'll be a sport and not get petulant, it'll be hard but I'll try," Ian said while smiling at her, pleased that she made the effort to placate him after snapping. Not enough people actually take the time to apologize for their misdirected anger, he thought to himself.
"Thanks, dear," she said simply, tracing the rim of her glass with her finger, obviously thinking about what had been bothering her.
"So what is it that's been pushing your irritation button?" he asked her.
"I was having a drink at a bar earlier tonight while waiting for my friend to show up and I was trying to talk to this guy at the bar. He wouldn't say anything except cliches and lame platitudes, it was driving me nuts. I thought he was just messing with me but I don't think he was really capable of thinking for himself," she opened up, "When someone resorts to simple cliches and slogans then they are no longer capable of conversation and are instead acting as a media outlet for someone else's interests."
"I suppose that's true but I don't think I've ever met someone like the man you're describing so it's very abstract, can you give me an example?"
"Okay, how about this? I would say something like, 'Did you read about the new bill in Congress that they're trying to pass regarding same sex marriage?' and he would respond with 'If Pro is the opposite of Con then isn't Progress the opposite of Congress?', it became pretty clear that he basically picked a word and then found a cliche that it was in and that was his answer," she explained.
"I can see how that would be annoying, why did you keep talking to him then?"
"I wanted to see how long he could keep it up, if I could say something that would leave him speechless but it didn't happen and I got irritated and stopped speaking to him."
"What bothered you about him the most? The fact that he wasn't speaking for himself or thinking for himself?"
"Well sure, its dishonest to use other people's words in place of your own, honest thought isn't the regurgitation of other people's words or mottos. Honest thought is taking those concepts, figuring out which has any value and making them your own," she continued.
"Yep, I'll agree to that," Ian nodded his head obediently.
"So many people fall back on other people's thoughts without really ever thinking about what they're saying. What it means now, what it means for the future and that, honestly, sort of scares me," she admitted. "The people that listen to that awful guy on the radio, what's his name?"
"Howard Stern?"
"No, the other one, the guy Al Franken wrote a book about?"
"Oh Rush Limbaugh, yeah, Rush and his army of devoted, empty skulled dittoheads that hang on his every word as being divinity itself. The problem with treating other people's words as sacred is that the other people aren't sacred, they're people. People with their own objectives, desires and agendas and trusting your thoughts to someone else gives them more power to spread whatever they want," Ian gave her some of his own thoughts.
"And he's a hate monger too, he hates gay people, he hates liberals, he hates anyone who doesn't think exactly as he does and those that do think like he does, he doesn't care about, he just wants to expand his powerbase so that he can throw his weight around, its ugly and people like him are a true danger to the country and the world."
"People need to think for themselves, until they do then they're just wasting space and resources waiting for the grim reaper to come and take them up to heaven for a job well done."
"But they didn't do a job, they just nodded their heads at the right time and said stupid things like 'Ditto' and 'Right on, Rush'!" she exclaimed angrily, like it was Ian's fault that people were so shallow and easily duped into being talking sheep. "Even if there were a heaven, none of these people deserve to get in for ceding their minds to someone else, that's the height of insanity."
"You're right, you are totally right. All except the part about there possibly being a heaven, I can't bring myself to believe in such an abstract carrot, especially not when I can see the ropes around my neck with that carrot out front trying to coerce me into greater struggles to get to the reward of an eternity in paradise."
"Yeah, yeah! I like that metaphor of the carrot, it makes sense and puts together a whole lot of thinking that's not been able to coalesce properly but I think I get it now. The opiate of the masses, the struggle now for an eternal reward, all of it. Its just another way to control people, to get them to do what you want. And the worst part about heaven is that its totally unprovable, either it exists or that it doesn't. The only people who can get into it are dead and they tend to not talk."
"I think we're going to need another round of cocktails to figure this one all the way out," and Ian grabbed her now empty glass and his own before heading into the kitchen to spin up a couple of new drinks.
Astrid followed him into the other room, her bright eyes very alive with some bursting revelations.
Late one night, after exhausting himself painting yet another large canvass of emotional reds and swirled blacks, a turning out of his emotional state, Ian was just about to flop down and pass out when he heard a gentle knock on his door. For some reason he knew it would be Astrid and when he opened the door he smiled to her and for knowing it would be her. He liked moments when he felt like he could see what was going to happen next.
"Are you still up, Ian?" she asked as she pushed by him and entered his cluttered living room that was more studio than living space.
"Almost, you got me just as I was about to sack out, what time is it anyway?"
"Three thirty or so," she said over her shoulder while she looked at his fresh canvas leaning against the wall after losing the battle to his paintbrush. "Are you in a bad mood?"
"No, not at all, why do you ask?"
"This painting," she pointed a delicate finger at the large and newly completed oil, "It's very dark, brooding and makes me feel sort of a raging something from you or am I misinterpreting it?"
"No, I guess I hadn't thought of it like that. Its less of a rage thing and more of a venting, lots of internal demons and they always seem to want to come out as reds and blacks. I've gotta at least try to live up to the suffering artist persona I've been slavishly cultivating since college," he tried to make light her question even while he shifted uneasily on the balls of his feet, feeling the heat of her scrutiny on both him and the painting. He knew that the painting was really a reflection of how she made him feel, an impotent rage that he railed against but couldn't battle through. But he was also nowhere near tired enough, drunk enough (he normally drank a bottle or two of wine when he painted as it freed up his constricted movements) or comfortable enough to tell her any of that.
"You must have some pretty powerful demons inside you if this is how they manifest themselves in your work but enough about your art, I know you get uncomfortable when people talk about it too much with you around. How about a drink instead?"
"Sure, its too late for a bar but I've got some Bushmills and ginger ale, if that's alright with you?" and he headed for the kitchen, grateful for he excuse to do something.
"That sounds lovely, I had an old friend who used to drink Bushmill's like it was water, its too much straight up like he drank it but with some ginger ale sounds good," she followed him into the kitchen and leaned her slender frame against the doorframe to watch him mix.
"What were you up to this evening that you're just getting home now?" he asked her in an offhand way, trying to mask his curiosity.
"I had a date that went into a little bit of overtime," she began and then, noticing his surprised look, "Oh no, not like that! What kind of girl do you think I am? We got to talking about politics, the current foreign policy situation and potential ways to repair the country's sagging image around the world."
"And what did you come up with?"
"The first step is to start fresh, a new president, all new Senators, all new Congressmen, all new pages, all new everything. A clean slate is the only way I can think of to clear out all the favoritism and cronyism and all those other dirty 'ism words that just mean people cheating the system they were elected to protect."
"Sounds like you're on the right track, but why stop there? Why not remove all the corrupt cops, mayors, governors and all the other crooks in expensive suits?"
"I think that wouldn't be a bad idea, eventually, but to start the process, it has to be a decapitation, remove the head and the body will fall. God, I sound like a kung-fu movie," she laughed.
He handed her a tall cocktail and walked with her back into the living room. He took a moment to clean off a space on the couch next to his thinking chair, an old, faded green leather chair that he'd had since he moved to the city years and years ago.
"There's nothing wrong with kung-fu movies that a little better voice over wouldn't fix," Ian said in a matter of fact voice.
"I don't know about that, I can think of lots of things that would need to be fixed in kung-fu movies to make them more viewable but let's try to stay on the politics thing, I won't be able to get to sleep until I've worked it out of my system," she steered him back to the original topic.
"Okay, what else is on your mind? The failings of the electoral college, the utter removal of checks and balances for the most powerful man in the world? The appointment of soul-less old men to guide the country?" he asked her, partially in jest but also because he was a little confused by her signals, she would lean towards him, put a hand on his arm and then back away again, settling all the way back against the couch.
"Don't be an ass, the electoral college isn't failing, our use of it is failing, WE are failing the founding fathers, we're not staying true to their desires," she snapped at him. And then, realizing that she was excessively sharp with him, reached out to take his hand in hers. "I'm sorry, dear, its not you, I've got some other things on my mind as well as this whole politics thing.
"Okay, then I'll be a sport and not get petulant, it'll be hard but I'll try," Ian said while smiling at her, pleased that she made the effort to placate him after snapping. Not enough people actually take the time to apologize for their misdirected anger, he thought to himself.
"Thanks, dear," she said simply, tracing the rim of her glass with her finger, obviously thinking about what had been bothering her.
"So what is it that's been pushing your irritation button?" he asked her.
"I was having a drink at a bar earlier tonight while waiting for my friend to show up and I was trying to talk to this guy at the bar. He wouldn't say anything except cliches and lame platitudes, it was driving me nuts. I thought he was just messing with me but I don't think he was really capable of thinking for himself," she opened up, "When someone resorts to simple cliches and slogans then they are no longer capable of conversation and are instead acting as a media outlet for someone else's interests."
"I suppose that's true but I don't think I've ever met someone like the man you're describing so it's very abstract, can you give me an example?"
"Okay, how about this? I would say something like, 'Did you read about the new bill in Congress that they're trying to pass regarding same sex marriage?' and he would respond with 'If Pro is the opposite of Con then isn't Progress the opposite of Congress?', it became pretty clear that he basically picked a word and then found a cliche that it was in and that was his answer," she explained.
"I can see how that would be annoying, why did you keep talking to him then?"
"I wanted to see how long he could keep it up, if I could say something that would leave him speechless but it didn't happen and I got irritated and stopped speaking to him."
"What bothered you about him the most? The fact that he wasn't speaking for himself or thinking for himself?"
"Well sure, its dishonest to use other people's words in place of your own, honest thought isn't the regurgitation of other people's words or mottos. Honest thought is taking those concepts, figuring out which has any value and making them your own," she continued.
"Yep, I'll agree to that," Ian nodded his head obediently.
"So many people fall back on other people's thoughts without really ever thinking about what they're saying. What it means now, what it means for the future and that, honestly, sort of scares me," she admitted. "The people that listen to that awful guy on the radio, what's his name?"
"Howard Stern?"
"No, the other one, the guy Al Franken wrote a book about?"
"Oh Rush Limbaugh, yeah, Rush and his army of devoted, empty skulled dittoheads that hang on his every word as being divinity itself. The problem with treating other people's words as sacred is that the other people aren't sacred, they're people. People with their own objectives, desires and agendas and trusting your thoughts to someone else gives them more power to spread whatever they want," Ian gave her some of his own thoughts.
"And he's a hate monger too, he hates gay people, he hates liberals, he hates anyone who doesn't think exactly as he does and those that do think like he does, he doesn't care about, he just wants to expand his powerbase so that he can throw his weight around, its ugly and people like him are a true danger to the country and the world."
"People need to think for themselves, until they do then they're just wasting space and resources waiting for the grim reaper to come and take them up to heaven for a job well done."
"But they didn't do a job, they just nodded their heads at the right time and said stupid things like 'Ditto' and 'Right on, Rush'!" she exclaimed angrily, like it was Ian's fault that people were so shallow and easily duped into being talking sheep. "Even if there were a heaven, none of these people deserve to get in for ceding their minds to someone else, that's the height of insanity."
"You're right, you are totally right. All except the part about there possibly being a heaven, I can't bring myself to believe in such an abstract carrot, especially not when I can see the ropes around my neck with that carrot out front trying to coerce me into greater struggles to get to the reward of an eternity in paradise."
"Yeah, yeah! I like that metaphor of the carrot, it makes sense and puts together a whole lot of thinking that's not been able to coalesce properly but I think I get it now. The opiate of the masses, the struggle now for an eternal reward, all of it. Its just another way to control people, to get them to do what you want. And the worst part about heaven is that its totally unprovable, either it exists or that it doesn't. The only people who can get into it are dead and they tend to not talk."
"I think we're going to need another round of cocktails to figure this one all the way out," and Ian grabbed her now empty glass and his own before heading into the kitchen to spin up a couple of new drinks.
Astrid followed him into the other room, her bright eyes very alive with some bursting revelations.
May 6, 2009
Manners Matter, Muthaf*****!
I am, in the course of my work, exposed to a wide variety of socio-economic classes. From the very poor to the enviously affluent. I try to treat everyone the same regardless of their circumstances because everyone deserves fair treatment.
One thing that is fully within each child's control is their attitude and manners, or lack thereof. Yes, manners are taught by parents but, once a child enters the education system, they are also strongly encouraged by educators.
Some kids never seem to grasp the value in saying please, thank you and you're welcome. They seem to operate on an entitlement concept that the world exists solely to serve them and all of their petty little needs.
Contrast that with the kids at one of my other schools. These kids are polite, say please and thank you and I really enjoy working with them. They also don't approach problems like they expect other people to resolve them for them, they want to learn how to resolve them themselves. Its refreshing and, as a result, I look forward to coming to this school quite alot more than the others.
Parents, do not let your kids get away with being ill-mannered kids, you are doing them no favors at all. Teach them to use their manners and they'll find that people are much more likely to want to help them.
As with so much of the rest of life, you get out what you put in.
One thing that is fully within each child's control is their attitude and manners, or lack thereof. Yes, manners are taught by parents but, once a child enters the education system, they are also strongly encouraged by educators.
Some kids never seem to grasp the value in saying please, thank you and you're welcome. They seem to operate on an entitlement concept that the world exists solely to serve them and all of their petty little needs.
Contrast that with the kids at one of my other schools. These kids are polite, say please and thank you and I really enjoy working with them. They also don't approach problems like they expect other people to resolve them for them, they want to learn how to resolve them themselves. Its refreshing and, as a result, I look forward to coming to this school quite alot more than the others.
Parents, do not let your kids get away with being ill-mannered kids, you are doing them no favors at all. Teach them to use their manners and they'll find that people are much more likely to want to help them.
As with so much of the rest of life, you get out what you put in.
May 5, 2009
The Pornificator Watches Some Kids Shows
Continuing my trend of re-imagining things as porn, today's installment goes over some kids shows if they were porn. And yes, I really am this juvenile in person.
Handy Manny becomes Handjob Mandy
My Friends Tigger and Pooh becomes My Friends Bigger and Spew
Little Einsteins becomes Little Fucksteins
Spongebob Squarepants becomes Spoogebob Spunkpants
Dora the Explorer becomes Dora the Whora
Go, Diego Go becomes Blow, Diego Blow
The Imagination Movers becomes Four Douchebags (god how I hate that show)
Barney becomes Blowme
Jojo's Circus becomes Hoho's Jerk Us
Curious George becomes Spurtious Gorge
Peep and the Great Big World becomes Penis and the Great Big Girl
I could go on and on and on but I'll stop here, for now. My favorite is Spoogebob Spunkpants, which is yours?
Handy Manny becomes Handjob Mandy
My Friends Tigger and Pooh becomes My Friends Bigger and Spew
Little Einsteins becomes Little Fucksteins
Spongebob Squarepants becomes Spoogebob Spunkpants
Dora the Explorer becomes Dora the Whora
Go, Diego Go becomes Blow, Diego Blow
The Imagination Movers becomes Four Douchebags (god how I hate that show)
Barney becomes Blowme
Jojo's Circus becomes Hoho's Jerk Us
Curious George becomes Spurtious Gorge
Peep and the Great Big World becomes Penis and the Great Big Girl
I could go on and on and on but I'll stop here, for now. My favorite is Spoogebob Spunkpants, which is yours?
Labels:
pornificator
May 4, 2009
More WTFism
What kind of a piece of shit vandalizes an elementary school? I don't get it.
Some asshole came onto the school campus here over the weekend, broke the lock off an outside circuit breaker and broke some circuits inside that resulted in a bunch of food spoiling, some emergency repairs and a whole bunch of confused computers.
To what end? What's the point of it?
I tend to think that anyone lame enough to vandalize an elementary school isn't worth wasting a trial on, just throw them in a deep, dark hole and let nature take its course. Probably a good thing I'm not a judge, eh?
Some asshole came onto the school campus here over the weekend, broke the lock off an outside circuit breaker and broke some circuits inside that resulted in a bunch of food spoiling, some emergency repairs and a whole bunch of confused computers.
To what end? What's the point of it?
I tend to think that anyone lame enough to vandalize an elementary school isn't worth wasting a trial on, just throw them in a deep, dark hole and let nature take its course. Probably a good thing I'm not a judge, eh?
WTF News
Contained herein are actual news stories gathered from around the intarwebs that elicit loud What the Fuck? responses.
Hannity Agrees to be Waterboarded for Charity to Prove It Is Not Torture - this is unlikely to happen but I think it might go a very long way towards changing his stance that waterboarding is, essentially, dunking someone's head in water. It is much, much more.
8-year-old Saudi girl divorces 50-year-old husband - reread that slowly. What kind of a government would sanction the marriage of an eight year old in the first place? Disgusting kid groping freaks.
Girl beats off muggers with marching band baton - that's one way to stop an assault, beat them off. Not sure how pleasurable the baton made it but, hey, it takes all types.
Fear a high school reunion? Hire a stripper - Better yet, hire a male stripper to impersonate you.
Autonomous Rotorcraft Sniper System packs .338-caliber rifle controlled by Xbox 360 pad - 'Scuse me while I go and make sure my fallout shelter is fully stocked and has a can opener.
Berlusconi rejects patch-up with wife - there are some things that really should be dealt with privately. A pending divorce is very high up on that list. Show some class and take it offline.
NV boy accused of targeting girl on `kill list' - this is a 5th grader who not only put together a list of people he wanted to kill, he was starting to act on that list by attacking a 10 year old girl with a rock.
And finally, Some see media flu coverage as overblown - ya think? Its the flu, there's a nasty flu every year and the flu kills people every year. There is little new about this year's flu epidemic.
Hannity Agrees to be Waterboarded for Charity to Prove It Is Not Torture - this is unlikely to happen but I think it might go a very long way towards changing his stance that waterboarding is, essentially, dunking someone's head in water. It is much, much more.
8-year-old Saudi girl divorces 50-year-old husband - reread that slowly. What kind of a government would sanction the marriage of an eight year old in the first place? Disgusting kid groping freaks.
Girl beats off muggers with marching band baton - that's one way to stop an assault, beat them off. Not sure how pleasurable the baton made it but, hey, it takes all types.
Fear a high school reunion? Hire a stripper - Better yet, hire a male stripper to impersonate you.
Autonomous Rotorcraft Sniper System packs .338-caliber rifle controlled by Xbox 360 pad - 'Scuse me while I go and make sure my fallout shelter is fully stocked and has a can opener.
Berlusconi rejects patch-up with wife - there are some things that really should be dealt with privately. A pending divorce is very high up on that list. Show some class and take it offline.
NV boy accused of targeting girl on `kill list' - this is a 5th grader who not only put together a list of people he wanted to kill, he was starting to act on that list by attacking a 10 year old girl with a rock.
And finally, Some see media flu coverage as overblown - ya think? Its the flu, there's a nasty flu every year and the flu kills people every year. There is little new about this year's flu epidemic.
May 1, 2009
NWoTD - Photoge
Photoge - photographic protege. Inspired by this photo.
Head over to the Fictionarium to rate this and all my other new words.
Head over to the Fictionarium to rate this and all my other new words.
Labels:
nwotd
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)