9.10.2009

Milestones

In just about a half of an hour the day will turn from September 10th to September 11th and I will turn from 39 years old to a rather astonishing 40 years old.

I haven't really done much thinking about this major change but, when I do, I'm struck by the implausibility of it. It doesn't seem possible or normal or right or anything of the sort.

I don't expect to lose my mind and go running down the street buck naked to play in traffic or anything but the thought has, obviously, crossed my mind.

Forty years old.

I had no idea I'd live this long when I was a teenager. I had no idea I'd be where I am in my life at 40. It is a rather substantial shift from 30's to 40's.

I'd hoped to have been further along by now, I'd hoped to be more settled, I'd hoped for lots more than I've got right now.

But there is hope and then there is reality. I hope that I'll be able to make my hopes more of a reality. Everyday I live is another day to move forward, another day to work for a better tomorrow for me and for my children.

There's so much that I could say, maybe should say, but I won't. I hope I have a decent birthday tomorrow and that it leads us into a year of unparalleled growth, success, peace and happiness.

In the end, I hope. I have always been hopeful, its the doing that has oftentimes stymied me. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
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