7.23.2009

Ads I'm Completely Sick Of

Herein, for your review, are advertisements on the television that I'm thoroughly and completely sick of. Ad campaigns, spots, whatever, I feel bitching about stuff.

Geico - I hate the cavemen, I hate the concept, I hate the never-endingness of these incredibly stupid ads. But I also hate their goddamned gecko almost as much.

1 800 Dentist - I hate these awful ads so much that I've had daydreams about kicking Fred Joyal in the balls. The ads are terrible, annoying, nagging and ineffective.

Subway's Five Dollar Foot Longs - they have, thankfully receded in prominence, but these ads were thinly veiled homages to huge cocks and drove me, as a man possessing a regular non-pornstar sized cock, to madness and to scramble to change the fucking channels when these stupid ads came on. The ads have, unfortunately, been replaced with Jared again, the ugliest spokesdork ever. Actually, I just hate Subway.

Six Flags' Creepy Old Dancing Man - I thought they'd gotten the clue from the entire universe, the fake old dancing guy is really creepy and makes me want to keep my kids as far away from him and his park as possible. It was a bad idea that they don't seem to be able to get away from.

Microsoft's Laptop Ads - What do I take from Microsoft's latest stupid ad campaign? People are idiots if they want the most enormous laptop they can get. They slag Macs because they are smaller and cost more, there's a reason, Macs hold their value alot longer and run better throughout their lifespans. You buy a Dell laptop for $700 and you can almost be guaranteed to have to replace it in two years. I've got a Mac Pismo powerbook in my office that's at least 8 years old and still works perfectly (yes, it is slow by today's standards but that isn't its fault).

Carl's Jr. Bikini Burger - Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of hot chicks in bikinis. But hearing this vapid moron talking about how hard it is to look as good as she does while stuffing her face with a burger that has enough fat and calories for two full days is beyond idiotic. Plus, she may be hot but she comes across about as shallow as a bird bath.

And now, to balance out the vitriol I feel for shitty, unfunny ads, how about a few ads that I don't hate and don't immediately change the channel when they come on?

Jack in the Box - with the exception of the dancing ones, Jack's ads are consistently funnier than any other fast food place.

Okay, I can't think of any other ads that I like right now. But I reserve the right to add to this post if I come up with any.

What ads drive you to madness?
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