Governor Palin and the Rape Capital of the USA

Did you know that Alaska is the rape capital of the United States? I didn't until I read a bit about Sarah Palin charging rape victims for the test kits (which she denies doing and calls it crazy but public records show she did it and knew about it). Alaska has been the #1 rape capital for at least the last three years and likely more. In 2007 it had the 5th highest rate of aggravated assault and 9th for violent crimes.

Who knew Alaska was such a haven for violence and sexual assault? I know I didn't.

Want to know more? Here, go have a read.

California, for those who are interested, ranks 41st in 2007 for rape but is big on vehicle theft (#4) and robbery (#6). And a rather shocking 18th in 2007 for murder, maybe they are counting Oakland as its own universe?

Alaska's crime index puts it at #20 nationally compared to California's crime index rating of #27.

File Under: Doubt It

After Taking Credit For Bailout Bill, Is McCain Campaign Willing To Share Responsibility For Its Failure?

His supporters have been breathlessly jabbering about how key McCain has been in the process. He didn't deliver the Republican votes he'd been counted on to deliver (i.e. the reason he was "important" to the effort) and really he came off like an idiot the entire time between his presence being required to being able to do it on the phone to saying he isn't able to "phone it in" his campaign has bungled and continues to bungle his part and assistance in getting the bailout bill passed.

If he's unable to unite his own party then how could he possibly be expected to unite the country?

Fantasy Sports Focus

So with the end of the regular season of baseball and football ramping up and hockey just around the corner, I thought it was high time for a little fantasy sports breakdown.

Of the three fantasy baseball teams I played this season, I came in 2nd, 2nd and 1st respectively. Rick destroyed everyone in one league and I squeaked into the running for league #2 only to get annihilated 10-0 in the final. But in my last league, I was able to barely get through the semi's by an odd tie breaker and then eke out a victory by just a couple of points to take the season win.

Not too bad on the fantasy baseball front at all.

Fantasy football got off to a rough start beginning with the auto-draft "scoring" me Matt Hasselback (yes, the one married to the big foreheaded GOP parrot annoyance on The View, Elizabeth) of the sucktastic Seahawks and Stephen Jackson of the pathetically awful Rams. Two games into the season and I was still looking for my first W.

A squeaker got me on the board and then I had Brett Favre playing this week when he threw for a record 6 touchdowns against the Cards. Not a bad play at all. This week I have brought the heaviest smackdown of the season and am evening my record to 2-2.

I am also positioned for a local football pool win tonight if Big Ben and the Steelers can put together a win over the Ravens which will not be easy. But it is doable and that's what matters.

And last, the fantasy hockey league needs more teams. Want to play? (I will freely note that I pretty well suck at Fantasy Hockey and am just a body to skate over by some fanatical Shark fan friends). If you want in then leave a comment with your email address and I'll get an invite out to you.

Did you notice a lack of fantasy basketball news? That's because I find basketball to be, overall, a boring ass piss poor sport that lauds flopping, pimpsmanship and generalized douchebaggery from players, owners and fans alike.

Oh and one word to my Mets fan pal, John. Dude! Duuuuuuuude! And, last word to the long suffering gentlemen of the Mint 400, I hope this is your year and I further hope the Cubs get to pound the Dodgers down and out. Because I am all about cheering for whoever is playing against the Dodgers and the Yankees. Plus, Chicago's a great sports town and deserves to finally move past Steve Bartman (who I still think is wrongly blamed).

Also, I didn't take Washington yesterday but I love that they beat the Cowboys! Love it, love it, love it! And not just because Tony Romo sold his soul to Jessica "Toot Toot" Simpson.

Besides, any post season without the frickin' Yankees is a post season I can enjoy! Go Steelers!

Average is 25K Mbps?

I think there's something broken about the Speed.io testing site. I just ran it from behind my district firewall and got superb results, here, see for yourself. If 25K down and nearly 15K up is average then my connection at home is pathetic.

Just for fun it would be a good reminder of how far we've come to throttle a connection all the way down to 56k dial up speeds again. But it would only be fun if you could just as easily go from that skinny little straw pipe and go right back to the flippin' storm drain pipe, maybe a dial or scroll wheel to demo just how insanely fast 25K is (that's 25,000 kpbs compared to 56 kpbs or roughly 446 times as fast).

And we're not even the world leader in consumer internet speeds. Nope, it seems that it is not unusual for Japanese apartment buildings to have their own fiber connection which can deliver 100K speeds without even breaking a sweat. What can you do with 100,000 kpbs? Stream porn from five sites at once while downloading HD movies and uploading live streaming video from all four corners of your apartment. And you'd still have plenty of bandwidth leftover to send an email to mom letting her know how much you love her. Isn't technology grand?

It Was Good Fun Until the Wiener Dog Bit Me

I'm finding that the more I refer to it as a wiener dog, the less annoyed I am about the whole thing. The cut to the chase is that we went to a birthday party and a wiener dog bit me, bit me good really. Got a good chunk taken out of my right hand near my thumb.

But up until that moment, we'd been having a good time at kid's birthday party up in the hills. The main attraction was an inflatable water slide that was usable by all but the smallest of the kids there.

And they used the heck out of it, it was complete pandemonium when it first went into use. Lots of fun and chaos and no smacked heads at all, which was astonishing to me and some of the other parents. But things settled down fairly quickly and really the slide kept a whole bunch of kids happily occupied for a good while.

When it came time to tear into the pinata (a rather large Hello Kitty model), there were just four kids left on the water slide, my two boys, an older girl and a same age as Sully boy. Despite repeated mentions of a pending candy storm, none of the kids were ready to stop sliding yet.

Grady ended up getting out just a minute or two before before the pinata was split open and the candy fell. His candy gathering game has improved markedly and he certainly got his share of sugary loot. Sully did not but there were enough adult allies to put together a bag for him too.

And yes, once the candy was rolling, the slide was forgotten.

It was during the candy munching period that the little dachshund wiener dog got very upset at being tied up and found a tasty hand to lash out on. And the only positive in it is that the dog bit me and not Sullivan who was sitting closer and had the advantage of being lightly coated in chocolate.

But I got to be the lucky one and get tagged. It isn't a deep bite but it is a pretty good one, leaving a decent flap of skin loose. It also put a pretty immediate damper on the party and made getting home a little bit of a challenge.

Now its a little more than a day later and it looks alot better than it did yesterday and no signs of infection though I did get permission to chop off the little dog's head if I needed to.

I don't think it'll come to that but I also don't think I'm going to be riding any bikes anytime soon.

Your Daily Schadenfreude

Jack Thompson, that lone vigilante battling the evil forces of criminal training activities posing as videogames, has been disbarred from practicing law in the state of Florida. I'm betting the bogus lawsuits, lies, generally making a nuisance of himself and his completely debunked arguments had something to do with it.

I'm sorry for taking delight in another's bad news but Jack Thompson is a douchebag and deserves every bit of judicial smackdown he's got coming his way.

BTW, Schadenfreude is the process of taking pleasure at another person's misery (deserved or not).

The Leaked Call from McCain to Palin!

Yes, this is racing all over the internets at, well, internets speed. But its pretty funny in a scary kind of way because I'd guess the call really did go down something like this.

Have a listen to McCain's Voicemail to Palin Leaked to Press and have a laugh before you start cringing because these idiots are still in the race.

The Bike That Wants to be a Treadmill

Run while you ride on the elliptiGO bike which sounds like a kind of neat idea until you see it. Then it looks like an ungainly monstrosity that should have been left on the drawing board.

If I wanted to go running, I'd go running. If I want to ride a bike, I'll ride a bike. This bastard crossing of the two makes little sense to me and I highly doubt there's much of a market for them.

Its an interesting looking contraption, to be sure, but I just don't see that many runners who would want one nor very many bikers who would want to run instead of pedal either.

[Ed. Note: I'd originally intended on posting this directly to NorCal Bikers but accidentally sent it here and decided to double post it in both places because I can do that.]

Top 10 Things Bacon Does Not Improve

My post about bacon floss a couple of months ago got me to thinking about all the things that bacon improves. Rather than that impressive list of stuff, I thought it would quicker to list those things that bacon does not improve.

1. Yogurt
2. Ice cream
3. Twinkies - like bacon, Twinkies are a perfect food all by themselves.
4. Coffee - bacon and eggs with coffee is a classic but bacon IN coffee is a bad idea.
5. Jello - I can't verify this but its a good hunch that bacon and jello are not compatible tastes or textures.
6. Orange juice
7. Chocolate cake
8. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
9. Cherry pie
10. Cheesecake

Grumpy McCain Digs in His Heels

Will John McCain be a no-show for the first of the presidential debates? I expect he will end up showing up, with a flourish and some dropped hints about how much more he cares about the crisis than his opponent.

McCain has already admitted that he has little understanding of economics and yet now we're supposed to believe that he's essential to hammering out a solution?

There are people calling John McCain a hero for suspending his campaign to address this crisis but he's not a hero, he's a distraction without any relevant input trying to duck the reality of the campaign trail. The debates are an extremely important part of our election process and he wants to deny the American people the opportunity to see him in action. Why? Because he's smart enough to know that the GOP can't compete on the issues, that Obama is a substantially better speaker and that he's a grumpy old out of touch fuddy-duddy.

The McCain/Palin ticket has lost its luster and looks like the crap wagon it really is, a old grump with a questionable medical history and an idiot false-sound-bite-spouting beauty queen with a deeply troubling belief system.

If McCain does skip the debate, I hope Obama goes ahead with it and uses it as a platform to discuss just how he plans on putting America back on the right path to prosperity and dignity.

Yes, it plays well with his core to show what a stand up guy he is, but the reality is that McCain doesn't want to debate Obama and he'll use whatever shield he can, even if he has absolutely no particular expertise in the crisis he's suspended his campaign to deal with.

Your Daily WTF: Breast Milk Ice Cream

PETA asks Ben & Jerry's to use breast milk instead of cow's milk. No, they aren't joking but they are a joke.

Trying to Delay the Foreign Policy Mega Final

In a bold move intended to delay the inevitable defrocking of Sarah Palin, the McCain campaign has asked to delay the election campaign because of the economic crisis. This comes fast on the heels of McCain declaring the economy is sound. I guess he must have gotten to the chapter in Greenspan's book where he discusses major financial institutional failure and the repercussions something like that might have.

There is a chance that McCain is genuinely worried about this crisis, no, not on a personal level, he's still rich as sin. But there's also a chance I might fart a living canary, not much of one but there's a chance.

A delay would give Sarah Palin another couple of days to cram for her foreign policy parrot act. What? You didn't think she was actually learning anything, did you? She's basically prepping for an acting role and working hard to memorize her lines as best she can.

The numbers are sliding off of McCain and he's grasping at straws to try and regain some of that juice that announcing Sarah Palin gave his limp and sagging campaign. The only thing is that she's provided almost nothing of substance and came with a closet stuffed full of skeletons and idiotic actions and statements.

The more America learns about Sarah Palin, the less electable she and Grumpa appear. And that's just fine by me.

McCain wants to cancel debates because he doesn't want to be exposed for having no discernable differences between his policies and those of George W. Bush, the same policies that have led this nation into the economic abyss. Of course, he wants to cancel or delay the debates, nobody likes being exposed for being nothing but the same as we've already had, especially given the public and ugly damage those policies have wrought.

Resolved and Quickly At That

My tweets today have been mostly centered on my stupidity at resetting my password to upload blog posts and content here. Yes, I did it all on my own and have no one to blame except my hosting provider's limp support system.

Granted, once I got in touch with support, they hammered out the solution pretty quickly and that's a plus.

However, the linked support pages from within my signed in account pages were garbage. And that's pretty ridiculous when they can't keep URLs up to date. The lack of alternate means of contact is more annoying than ridiculous since I wouldn't want to be contacting them unless I had a problem and that means I'm already annoyed.

But still, once the process got kicked into gear, it went quickly and I now I can both access my blog again, I can also even start updating IP Politik, my politics side blog, to start using again to help keep the political nonsense off the main blog to some degree or another.

I guess I'm just having one of those "Meh" days where you'd just as soon be doing anything else than what you are doing. I'd rather be sleeping or riding my bike and I know I won't get to do either for at least a few more hours and it won't be riding.

I think one of the problems is that I have too many accounts, too many logins and passwords to keep straight and not enough time to get things into an organized place enough to get on top of it all. Plus I've got projects languishing on back burners all over the place. Projects that I don't want to languish anymore, I want them boiling and throwing off hot nuggets of revenue!

Anyway, I'm back at speed again, will start posting political posts to IP Politik (with a short link here, I'm sure) and am also looking to migrate WIPE (Wal-Mart is Pure Evil) to its own custom domain to stop the cross-pollinated RSS feed. There is always, always work to be done.

eBay Closes in on Complete Idiocy

Techdirt: eBay Moves Closer To Forcing Users To Use PayPal rather than an open payment system. Forcing users to use PayPal will discourage even more people from using eBay. Seems like a kind of stupid move to me.

I rarely use eBay these days because of their ever-increasing fees and hassles. This move will marginalize them all the more.

Customers don't want to be forced to do things a certain way, especially if they've been able to do it that way before. Just like my My Yahoo! home page was upgraded and improved so much I just stopped using it altogether. It was fine, annoying but fine, when they had notices to give it a try. I tried the upgraded pages and hated them instantly. When my regular page was forced into the new system, I cleared off all the content and abandoned it.

eBay seems to be taking a page from the same playbook. Make your business less open, make using it more annoying (can you say double fees?) and you too can watch your market share diminish even more rapidly than if you'd done nothing at all.

Sometimes an improvement means doing nothing at all just as sometimes the best thing to do is to not do anything at all.

Recent iPhone Apps Update

Like everyone else that has an iPhone, I spend an inordinate amount of time fondling my little glowing marvel.

And downloading apps from the App Store. Many are pretty useless but some are noteworthy. Here's a quick rundown. Links will be added once I can verify that the link to app html code actually works (can't check it from behind the firewall).

iSlots - just got it, played for five minutes, will delete shortly, repetitive and boring though pretty nice looking interface.
MotoChaser - bought (yes, bought) a couple of weeks ago, has become my go-to demo game of how awesome the iPhone is, good fun but hard to control.
Motion X Poker - also a bought, excellent dice game making good use of the accelerometer. Geeky enough to allow dice collecting.
Remote - I don't use it enough but should because it is so flipping cool. Need to do it with the projector in the computer lab.
Twitterfon and Twitterific - two twitter clients because one is faster but one has a camera function that is really handy.
Pandora - instant internet radio, got a connection? you've got a radio station, really nice.
Audi A4 Driving Challenge - awful game, terrible controls, bad idea and deleted almost instantly.
Sportacular - very nice and easy way to stay on top of the major sports. Definitely a keeper.
Light - a basic flashlight that works extremely well and has some additional color settings that are of zero use to me (unless you count utility as being able to induce an epileptic seizure).
Bubbles - simple, cute and will distract/occupy my kids for a couple of minutes when necessary.
PangeaVR - my back up demo app of how cool the iPhone is. Being able to look around at a panorama of a room is really very, very cool.
Earthscape - simply too cool to not show off. The top down view is useful but its the horizon view that is really neat.
iWant - a graphics based location app to find you gas, food, clothes, drug stores and more. Very cool and would be indispensable if I were a road warrior salesbot. It could use a Wifi hot spot button too though.

That's a decent start but isn't comprehensive. Got an iPhone? What are you loving and hating on it these days?

NWoTD - Manorisms

Manorisms - pretending to be like a lord, laird or other large land owner with affected speech and hoity-toity snobbishness towards those who don't happen to live in a McMansion.

As always, all new words get cross-posted to the Fictionarium.

The Diaz Brothers

The first rule of the Diaz brothers, Nick and Nate, is: You do not fucking mess with the Diaz brothers unless you are prepared for an absolute all-out war. That's Nate on the left and Nick on the right.

Nick Diaz is a black belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu and Nate, his "little" brother, is a brown belt. Nick fights in Elite while Nate is a rising star in the UFC.

They're from Stockton, California and they are not guys you want pissed off at you. And you damned well better not talk shit about them and then duck fights against them when they are offered or become available.

Why do I like watching the Diaz brothers fight? Because they are always working, always punching you, always looking for an armbar, triangle, guillotine or one of the more exotic submissions. They fight smart but they also fight with alot of heart and attitude. Plus Nate has a bit of showupmanship (that is, he's a showman who'll show you up if you're the fighter he just beat) that isn't so much a smackdown as it is entertaining).

Knowing one of the Diaz brothers is on the card almost guarantees a quality fight to watch. I'm glad they're not my neighbors and I for damned sure wouldn't want them pissed off at me but I always look forward to watching them get into the octagon and try bring an ass-whooping down on someone.

The Bathroom Stall Dilemma

Imagine that you are in a public bathroom somewhere, there is only enough toilet paper to wipe off the seat before you sit OR to wipe your ass after you've gone.

What do you do?

The Assininity of Microsoft Products

My dislike and distaste in using shitware from Microsoft should be pretty well established by now (I'd provide links to previous rants but I'm unable to read my own blog from behind the firewall because of my potty mouthed rants).

Anyway, we've been having issues with an email server upgrade over the weekend that's broken most Entourage settings and left a large number of administrators having to resort to using the web-based interface. Which was a decent workaround but people don't really like having to learn a new process when the old one was working well for them.

So I've spent a good (or bad, depending on your point of view) portion of this week tracking down and fixing these stupid problems.

In the course of fixing the settings, I've had to install the four or five "critical" updates that Microsoft's annoying Auto-Update decrees must be done. That's fine but we're talking 180 meg plus files and they have to be updated individually which means baby sitting a machine for an hour or more at a time.

Also, when it comes time to select a hard drive to install the update on, it looks for other drives for up to a few minutes. This is a laptop without external drives attached and yet you have to sit there and wait and wait and wait for the stupid program to get its head out of its ass and get moving.

But, in an incredibly stupid move, even for the dumbfucks in Redmond, someone thought it was a good idea to make a pop under warning that stalls the update install. Think about that for a moment. The warning that stops the whole stupid process isn't visible and there's no way to know its there aside from dumb luck or boredom and you start playing around with the windows.

My disgust for the bloated shitware from Microsoft just got kicked up another three or four notches. And it already got pushed up more after moving from Office 2004 to 2008. No improvements to the applications and several processes have had to get adjusted to do what was pretty straightforward in 2004. Updating should be an improvement and not just to Microsoft's (fat) bottom line.

NWoTD - Scarachter

Today's new word is brought to you by the train wreck that is the Straight Talk Express in selecting someone as poorly qualified and possessed of extremist religious beliefs along with investigations of abuses of power and ironic personal events to counter public policy beliefs (hard to say abstinence sex-ed works when your own teenage daughter is expecting, eh?)

Scarachter - (scare-achter) someone who's character becomes more and more frightening and disturbing the more you learn about them. See Sarah Palin.

As always, this and all my other fresh and minty new words are cross-posted over at the Fictionarium. Stop by, have a read and a laugh (or in this case, a shudder).

The Vetting Tapes Released!

I've just received an actual tape of the McCain campaign's call to meet/investigate Sarah Palin before offering her the vice presidency. This is, from all reports, the sum total of their contact before bringing her on board the Double Talk Express.

"Hi, is this Governor Palin?"

"You betcha! I wear lipstick and like earmarks unless you don't like earmarks and then I'll not like them again but only because you don't like them too. Oh and guns, I loooooove guns and shooting animals from airplanes in the air!"

"Heaven help me, your voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard fed through one of those roll & rock amplifiers the kids are so into. I understand you don't believe in global warming, evolution or the reality that Iraq is a colossal fucking mess that we're going to have a nightmare getting out of. How'd you like to be my vice president?"
Unintelligible squealing, hysterical guffaws and some gasps later, "That was a really funny joke, sir."

"No joke, your nasally voice combined with your extremist religious beliefs are just the smokescreen we need right now. The Democrats will shit themselves when I announce you, it'll be great and we can ride a wave of religious nuttery straight into the Oval Office."

"Oval Office?"

"Where the president works in the White House?" said the jowly old senior adulterer from Arizona.

"Oh, I thought you were referring to the toilet, hahaha," she laughed loudly, ironically like a braying donkey.

John McCain held the telephone at arm's length and grimaced.

"Before we go on, you don't have any skeletons in your closet I should know about? No ironic personal affairs that contradict your public statements or abuses of power? Say, how are you on foreign policy?"

"I've been to Canada and Mexico, how's that work? Oh wait, I can see Russia from my desk. And no, I'm an absolute saint, just ask any Alaskan, except those traitorous bastards who had the nerve disagree with me on anything, ever," replied the perky bespectacled zealot.

"You'll be perfect, the Democrats are going to have a nightmare figuring you out and reacting and the feminists are going to shit themselves. Good to have you aboard the Straight Talk Express," said McGrimace.

"Um, sir, do I have to be honest and forthright and truthful on the Straight Talk Express?"

"Oh, hell no, its a GOP thing, we name things the opposite of what they really are. Do
No Child Left Behind and the Patriot Act ring a bell? We like to name things so that the knuckleheads will think they're good when they're just the same old disgusting doublespeak the GOP's come to be known for," he answered without even a hint of shame.

"Thank goodness for that, sir, because I can't seem to tell the truth no matter how hard I try. And that was a lie too, I hope nobody starts counting them," she answered.

They exchanged a few more pleasantries, talked about shooting animals from planes and helicopters for fun, about how pro-choice is pro-sin and whether or not creationism should be taught alongside of or just replace evolution entirely in our schools.

The above is totally and absolutely true to the best of my knowledge and I'd swear on a stack of state emails printed out from Governor Palin's Yahoo! account to that end. Or not. Actually, yeah, probably not.

Image used with permission from the Gallery of the Absurd because 14 rocks. Go read and enjoy her entire blog and click her advertisements and leave her comments about how awesome she is.

Another Genius Idea

Some days I'm just overflowing with good ideas. Yesterday I came up with a couple in the midst of some tricky tech repairs.

My latest idea for a small company is kind of gross but would be damned funny in action. The gist of it is to capture my dog's rather astonishingly awful flatulence in a ziplock baggy and mail it to someone you don't like. They get the package, open it and find a bag with nothing in it but when they open it, they get a face full of utterly nauseating canine ass gas.

How could that not be a winner?

Heck, I might just send a few gas bags out for fun. Operators are standing by to take your order. Who would you send a bag full of dog farts too?

Why yes, this is an odd post to come right after one about the presidential debates but that's just how I roll!

Mark Your Calendars

The debates are coming, the debates are coming. And with them, I fully expect the McCain/Palin ticket to start to crater badly.

United States presidential election debates, 2008 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
* Friday, September 26, 2008 at the University of Mississippi's Gertrude C. Ford Center in Oxford, Mississippi. This debate will focus on foreign policy and national security.
* Tuesday, October 7, 2008 at Belmont University's Curb Event Center in Nashville, Tennessee. This debate will have a town-hall meeting format.
* Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at Hofstra University's Hofstra Arena in Hempstead, New York. This debate will focus on domestic and economic policy.

One vice-presidential debate:
* Thursday, October 2, 2008 at Washington University in St. Louis' Field House Gymnasium in St. Louis, Missouri. The vice presidential debate will cover both foreign and domestic topics.

Drinking Games

When I was younger and still had no way (well, no legal way) to get into bars, my friends and I would party like rock stars at whoever's house we could. And if there was no house to go to, we'd party at a few choice spots we had in the woods, some with cabins, some with teepees and some just open clearings with a firepit.

And, because just sitting around with your boys drinking made little sense to us, we'd play drinking games. Because we were teenage boys, the games tended toward the ability to get shitfaced with ease.

The best/worst game we played was called Suicide and involved a deck of cards and the kindness of your neighbor. Or maybe it just involved not caring how drunk you got. The game worked like this. The dealer would deal you a card and the person to your right or left would count that number while you drank. The slower the counting, the more alcohol rushed down your gullet. The more cruel of my friends could take a 2 and turn it into an entire beer slammed.

But the fun part about the game was when the direction of the person counting reversed itself and you got to count out for your pal who'd been counting you. Which is to say, it was either payback time or tit-for-tat time. Or, as that same cruel friend used to do, he didn't care, he just wanted you or the person on the other side of him as drunk as possible as soon as possible.

The better to write on them with magic markers or otherwise mess with them in a passed out state, of course. Did I mention my friends and I were mildly cruel to each other in the pursuit of fun? Yeah.

Another fun game that's known to anyone who went to college is quarters. Basically, you bounce a quarter into a glass and then make someone drink as a result. Good players could keep bouncing that quarter in many times in a row. And our quarters had an extra element, the creation of rules for successive scores. Three times in and you get to make a rule. My favorite rule of all time required the drinker to say to the person "giving" them the drink "You're not my pal" which leads to all manner of silly rules. Things like: You must drink with your left hand but put your cup back down with your right, No proper names, No saying the word "Drink", five in a row equals a social (everyone drinks), etc.

As you can imagine, the rules get sillier and sillier the drunker we got.

Demonstrating the Power of Unity

This has been forwarded through my family (thanks Uncle Doug!) and is a very cool idea. Tomorrow night at 9:50, turn off your lights for ten minutes. If enough of us do it, we can make an amazing impact, not only in energy conservation but in uniting the world under one cause, even if only for ten minutes.

On Wendesday, September 17, 2008, I invite people around the world to turn off their lights for ten minutes – from 9:50pm to 10:00pm in their local time zone.

APAGÓN MUNDIAL EL 17 DE SEPTIEMBRE DE 2008

ESTE APAGÓN SERÁ DE 21:50 A 22:00, A LA MISMA HORA LOCAL DE CADA PAÍS EN TODO EL MUNDO.

Ingles:
Darkness world: On September 17, 2008 from 21:50 to 22:00 hours.
Proposes to delete all lights and if possible all electrical appliances, to our planet can 'breathe'.
if the answer is massive, energy saving can be brutal.
Only 10 minutes, and see what happens.
Yes, we are 10 minutes in the dark, we light a candle and simply
Be looking at it, we breathe and our planet.
Remember that the union is strength and the Internet can be very power and can
Even do something big.

Moves the news, if you have friends to live in other countries send to them.

Castellano:
Oscuridad mundial: En Septiembre 17, 2008 desde las 21:50 a las 22:00 horas.
Se propone apagar todas las luces y si es posible todos los aparatos eléctricos, para que nuestro planeta pueda 'respirar'.
Si la respuesta es masiva, la energía que se ahorra puede ser brutal.
Solo 10 minutos y vea que pasa.
Si estamos 10 minutos en la oscuridad, prendamos una vela y simplemente la miramos y nosotros estaremos respirando y nuestro planeta.
Recuerde que la unión hace la fuerza y el Internet puede tener mucho poder y puede ser aun algo más grande.

Pase la noticia, si usted tiene amigos que viven en otros países envíeselo a ellos.

Chino:
黑暗的世界：對2008年9月17日從21時50分至22:00 。
這是建議關掉所有電燈及可能的話，所有電器，使我們的星球可以'呼吸' 。
如果答案是大規模，節能，可殘酷的。
只有10分鐘，並看看會發生什麼情況。
如果我們10分鐘，在黑暗中，成衣蠟燭和簡單的外觀和我們將呼吸和我們的星球。
記得當時的聯盟是實力和在互聯網上可以有很大的權力和，甚至可以更大一些。
通過新聞.

Portugués:
Escuridão mundial: No dia 17 de Setembro de 2008 das 21:50 às 22:00 horas
propõe-se apagar todas as luzes e se possível todos os aparelhos eléctricos, para o nosso planeta poder 'respirar'.
Se a resposta for massiva, a poupança energética pode ser brutal.
Só 10 minutos, para ver o que acontece.
Sim, estaremos 10 minutos às escuras, podemos acender uma vela e simplesmente
ficar a olhar para ela, estaremos a respirar nós e o planeta.
Lembrem-se que a união faz a força e a Internet pode ter muito poder e podemos
mesmo fazer algo em grande.

Passa a notícia, se tiveres amigos a viver noutros países envia-lhes.

Árabe:
ظلام العالم : على 17 سبتمبر 2008 من الساعة 21:50 الى 22:00
ويقترح حذف جميع الانوار واذا امكن جميع الاجهزه الكهرباءيه ، ويمكن لكوكبنا 'تنفس'.

اذا كان الجواب هاءله ، ويمكن الاقتصاد في استهلاك الطاقة وحشية.
خلال 10 دقائق فقط ، ونرى ما سيحصل.
نعم ، نحن على 10 دقائق في الظلام ، ونحن على ضوء شمعة وببساطة
ان النظر اليها ، ونحن نتنفس وكوكبنا.
نتذكر ان الاتحاد هو القوام وشبكة الانترنت يمكن ان تكون بالغة القوة ويمكن
حتى تفعل شيئا كبيرا.
التحركات الاخبار .

Francés:
Darkness monde: Le 17 Septembre 2008 de 21:50 à 22:00 heures
Propose de supprimer toutes les lumières et, si possible, tous les appareils électriques, à notre planète peut 'respirer'.
Si la réponse est massive, les économies d'énergie peuvent être brutales.
Seulement 10 minutes, et de voir ce qui se passe.
Oui, nous sommes 10 minutes dans le noir, on allume une bougie et simplement
Être regarder, que nous respirons et de notre planète.
N'oubliez pas que l'union fait la force et l'Internet peuvent être très électricité et peut

Même faire quelque chose de grand.
Déplace l'actualité.

Griego:
Σκοταδι κοσµο: Στις 17 Σεπ του 2008 απο 21:50 εως 22:00 ωρες
Προτεινει να διαγραψει ολα τα φωτα και αν ειναι δυνατον, ολες τις ηλεκτρικες συσκευες, να πλανητη µας µπορει να «αναπνεει».
Εαν η απαντηση ειναι µαζικη, η εξοικονοµηση ενεργειας µπορει να ειναι κτηνωδης.
Μονο 10 λεπτα, και να δουµε τι συµßαινει.
Ναι, ειµαστε 10 λεπτα στο σκοταδι, θα αναψει ενα κερι και απλα
Να εξεταζουµε, που αναπνεουµε και τον πλανητη µας.
Θυµηθειτε οτι η ενωση ειναι η δυναµη και το Internet µπορει να ειναι πολυ δυναµη και µπορουν να
Ακοµη κανουµε κατι µεγαλο.

Μετακινησεις την ειδηση, αν εχετε φιλους να ζουν σε αλλες χωρες να στειλουν τους και τους.

Alemán:
Darkness Welt: Am 17 September 2008 von 21:50 bis 22:00 Uhr
Schlägt vor, alle Lichter zu löschen und, wenn möglich, alle elektrischen Geräte, die unseren Planeten kann 'atmen'.
Wenn die Antwort ist derb, Energieeinsparung kann brutal.
Nur 10 Minuten, und sehen Sie, was passiert.
Ja, wir sind 10 Minuten im Dunkeln, wir Licht einer Kerze und einfach
Sei es bei der Suche, die wir atmen, und unseres Planeten.
Denken Sie daran, dass die Gewerkschaft ist Stärke und das Internet kann sehr Macht und können
Selbst etwas tun groß.

Verschiebt den Nachrichten.

Ruso:
Ночь на Земле: 17 сентября 2008 года с 21:50 до 22:00 часов отключите все огни, и, по возможности, все электроприборы, чтобы наша планета могла спокойно 'подышать' хоть 10 минут.
В случае массового участия, этот проект приведет к огромному сбередению энергии по всему земному шару. Всего только 10 минут, и вы увидите как важен будет результат.
За эти 10 минут можно просто посидеть в темноте, зажечь свечу и посидеть при ее свете. А за это время наша планета успеет спокойно отдышаться.
Помните, что совместное действие - это мощь, а Интернет - это великая сила, вместе мы можем добиться очень многого.

Сообщи о нас другим!!!

Holandés:
Darkness wereld: Op 17 September 2008 van 21:50 tot 22:00 uur
Stelt voor om alle lichten en zo mogelijk alle elektrische apparaten, om onze planeet kan 'ademen'.
Indien het antwoord is enorm, de energiebesparing kan worden wreder.
Slechts 10 minuten, en zie wat er gebeurt.
Ja, we zijn 10 minuten in het donker, we licht van een kaars en gewoon
Wordt kijken, we inademen en onze planeet.
Vergeet niet dat de unie is kracht en het internet kan zeer macht en kan
Zelfs iets te groot.

Vertrokken het nieuws.

Co-Workers Stealing Your Lunch? Use These Bags

Office Culture: Anti-Theft Lunch Bag Deters Sandwich Thieves
Sometimes a product comes along that is just completely full of awesome. This is one of those products. The only way this gets better is if you actually spray some edible goo that looks like mold directly on the sandwich.

Either way, people who shark other people's lunches in an office need to be taken out back and have their nuts stapled to a pit bull.

Even Turd Blossom is Calling Out McCain

Rove: McCain went "too far" in ads attacking Barack Obama. Like the one saying Obama favored teaching kindergartners sex-ed when the reality is Obama favored teaching them to say no to sexual predators. And the lipstick on a pig ad is complete and utter bullshit (or maybe I should say hogwash?). I enjoyed seeing McCain squirm on that bastion of political discourse, The View, last week.

When Karl Rove, one of the most disingenuous scumbags on the planet, says you've gone too far then its a pretty good bet you left rational reality long, long ago.

This is likely the first time I've ever agreed with Karl Rove about anything. And it'll probably be the last. Rove also thinks Obama's campaign has gone too far but that's to be expected, he's firmly entrenched in the GOP camp (and there's no way I'd ever want his slimy carcass working for the Democrats in any case).

It was also interesting to get an international perspective over the weekend. I spoke with my brother for a while during his stay in Morocco. His impression is that Obama will win fairly handily (not a landslide but not close enough for the Repugs to steal another election). I hope he's right. Amy had a good graphic that helps explain things the other day.

I'm trying not to obsess over this election but I strongly feel that this is an incredibly important moment for our nation and the world. Electing John McCain and Sarah Palin will negatively reverberate around the world for a generation. They are not the right people to return America's dignity and honor, they are the right people to keep pushing the Bush agenda (you know, make the rich richer, make our kids dumber and sicker and keep driving up that national debt).

I strongly believe that Barack Obama is the right man for the job. He's got the intellect, the drive, the networkability and charisma to lead the country out of the darkness that has been the Bush administration.

One of Them is Lying

Palin, McCain contradict each other on spending about the Bridge to Nowhere earmarks that Palin requested until she saw the writing on the wall and flip-flopped to oppose them.

John McCain stated on that bastion of political discussion, The View, that Sarah Palin never took earmarks as governor when the public record clearly shows she requested 31 earmarks worth nearly $200 million.

McCain/Palin - Integrity ain't nothing but a word.

Cool Global Surname Distributions

When I plug my last name into the World Names Profiler I actually found out something new. Well, a couple of new things.

I have relatives in Iowa that I've never heard of or met. Same for North Carolina. I've also got peeps in Australia, Canada, all through Europe, India, Japan and Argentina but none of the densities rates above a low to very low.

I did know I had relatives in Florida but I was under the impression there was just one there. There are more.

Anyway, if you've got a fairly uncommon (or, in my case, a downright rare) last name then you might have some fun poking around and finding out where your peeps are. The frequency of my name per million runs at a paltry 0.13, which means there's one person with my last name for every ten million people plus.

Kind of cool stuff.

I am a Peace Patroller, What Are You?

Political Quiz - What Breed of Liberal Are You?

My Liberal Identity:

You are a Peace Patroller, also known as an anti-war liberal or neo-hippie. You believe in putting an end to American imperial conquest, stopping wars that have already been lost, and supporting our troops by bringing them home.

Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com

Yep, I'll agree with that assessment of my liberal leanings. What are you?

Weight Lifted

I knew that a good portion of my ennui, frustration and general frustration of the last week plus was wrapped up in the fact that my birthday and Patriot Day were fast approaching.

I don't think I gave it as much credence as I should have because it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders when my birthday actually did come. I think it was really the anticipation of the day, the flipping over of another number on my cosmic timecard as I inched to the last step before hitting forty years old next year.

And that seems almost ludicrous when typed out. I'm going to turn 40 next year. Forty. How in the hell did I get here? I fully expected to punch out in my 20's or early 30's. Not on purpose but just because of the manner in which I lived my life. I'm not the only one either. I've had conversations with my brother about those years when there was speculation about the source of my deathwish.

But the reality of my reality is that my birthday has become a source of dread, not something I look forward to in pretty much anyway anymore. The tragic terrorist attacks are part of it, of course, but I think there's also an element of regret in that the years keep passing me by and there's still so much left that I want to do, want to accomplish and want to experience.

Now being two days beyond my birthday, I am having a hard time even recollecting the doom and gloom that followed me around for the last few days leading up to 9/11. One thing that really did help was that I got quite alot of happy birthday wishes via email, phone, twitter and directly. Its nice to know that other folks are thinking about you, even if your head is stuck in a toxic cloud.

And my demeanor is returned to my normal, optimistic and generally pretty happy self which is good because I missed me.

Extreme (and Wrong) Beliefs

Sarah Palin's 9 Most Disturbing Beliefs via AlterNet.

Summarized for your convenience. Not all of them are deal-breakers but, taken as a whole, it should be patently apparent to everyone what a poor choice for VP she really is.
1. Despite problems at home, Sarah Palin does not believe in giving teenagers information about sex.
2. Sarah Palin believes the U.S. Army is on a mission from God.
3. Sarah Palin believes in punishing rape victims.
4. Who's really not in favor of clean water? Sarah Palin.
5. Sarah Palin calls herself a reformer, but on earmarks and the "Bridge to Nowhere," she is a hypocrite.
6. Sarah Palin believes creationism should be taught in schools.
7. Sarah Palin supports offshore drilling everywhere, even if it doesn't solve our energy problems.
8. Sarah Palin loves oil and nuclear power.
9. Sarah Palin doesn't think much of community activism; she'd much rather play insider political games.

Make no mistake, voting for Sarah Palin is a vote to regress the country to a dumber and meaner time. Her religious beliefs are extreme, her political experience is nearly non-existent and her foreign exposure is all but useless. She has been a lightning rod for the election but what she brings isn't even close to what this country needs.

Just say no to Sarah Palin.

NWoTD Electionation Blowout Special

condidate - indicted political candidate (e.g. Sarah Palin if Troopergate goes bad) or, I suppose, if Conde Rice ran for office she'd be a condidate too.

cantdidate - a candidate who can't deliver on their pre-election promises. See Arnold or George Bush.

blandidate - bland candidate, see John Kerry.

cundidate - a hateful female candidate. See Sarah Palin.

serection - choosing who to vote for by who gives you a woody. See Sarah Palin.

presidentist - the executive of the mouth.

blundit - a blundering pundit. Numerous examples of people who supposedly know more than you or I do completely misrepresenting reality by their own stupidity, ignorance or willful lies. People like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly are blundits since they say whatever appeals to their audiences without regard to its factuality.

lipstuck - a worthless obstacle to discussion of real issues facing the nation is the definition of being lipstuck. Extra points for recent relevancy but the term holds for other derailing issues as well.

As always, all of these new words are cross-posted to the Fictionarium with ratings and archives. It'll take a little while as these words will get posted individually. Plus, I've got a few more words still gestating, I hope to add them as the day goes on.

Wrap Up

Aside from numerous distractions this morning, including one incessant reminder on my wife's phone and two calls from my boss, I did get to sleep in more than usual today.

I got to laze around, I got the house to myself and enjoyed the peace and quiet while I fiddled around online and had a late breakfast.

I opted to head out for a ride thinking the trails and the park itself would be mostly deserted. And I was right.

I took this during a river crossing (the park service puts up temporary bridges across the waterways). I ended up doing two loops in the park, taking my time and enjoying the scenery, listening to music and having fun on my bike.

Not a bad way to spend a birthday at all. Sure beats working!

Don't Expect Much

Not that anyone who reads this blog expects too much but take those meager expectations and knock them down another notch or two.

I'm taking a day off. From as much of my world as I can.

Maybe I'll go for a bike ride, maybe I'll just go back and lay in bed.

I hope your Patriot Day is a good one.

Awash in the Toxic Hypocrisy

You know what upsets me most about the current state of society in America? It rewards venality, it rewards the soundbite but never looks beyond it to see if the soundbite "fact" is an outright lie.

Weeks ago, I read a Twitter that summed up what I think is wrong with, well, everything. The twitterer commented that she caught herself scanning tweets when they are, at most, 140 total characters. She couldn't be bothered to actually read them in their entirety so she was skimming them for something interesting. A soundbite.

And soundbite politics have a firm grasp on the current election cycle. With incredibly stupid utterances like "A pitbull with lipstick" capturing the fleeting attention of a glazed over America despite clear evidence of a pattern of lies. But the American people don't care if the words ring true or false, they just like an easily digested soundbite because American Idol is about to come back on and they've allotted only thirty seconds to political thought during the commercial breaks.

America doesn't want the best leader, they want the one who can "score" the best zinger, the one who can "diss" the other guy and make him look bad. America doesn't care about health care or the economy or the war in Iraq, they care about appearing to be big and tough and strong.

A good metaphor for America is the Hummer. An oversized and ridiculous gas-sucking vehicle on its own. Now replace the engine with the engine from a 1983 Ford Escort and that's pretty much what America is like right now. A hulking appearance on the outside, brutal and tough looking and ready for action but a whimpering kitten of a beat down and beat up engine on the inside, struggling to keep from seizing as the driver repeatedly mashes the accelerator to the floor to show off.

Only not all Americans are actually like this. Some are deeply thoughtful people who approach this election and the country with an open mind, who want to engage in real debate, who want to, you know, actually try to make the country and the world a better place. Yeah, I know, fucking losers.

Only thing is, I'm one of them. I want my country back, I want my presidential election to not be a circus, I want it to be a real examination of the candidates. I want political discourse to be about real issues, not smokescreen distractions. I want our next leader to have a firm idea of how to set about undoing the grievous harm we've endured under the deeply hateful and criminal Bush administration.

Instead we have ridiculous arguments about whether "uppity" is a racist term (it is). About whether media inquiries into the character and person of Sarah Palin are sexist (they are not). About whether Obama's use of the word "lipstick" is offensive and wrong because Palin already used it in her hate speech keynote (it is not).

And, in the end, the election won't be about issues that are actually important. The election will swing on lies, fabrications, mistruths, misdeeds and carefully controlled media exposure. All the while, the economy goes septic, the war in Iraq goes on, Osama bin Laden (remember him? the Bushies don't seem to) continues to walk free nearly seven years after masterminding the attack on the US, the environment continues to be assaulted by big business cronies of the GOP, reproductive rights are in jeopardy, idiot fundies want to inflict creationism on our already behind and slipping further behind because they are underfunded schools and America is still being sold to OPEC barrel by barrel.

Plodding Ennui

Some days it feels like its a victory to get one foot out in front of the other. Some days it feels like a victory to open my eyes in the morning. Some days it feels like everything is just spinning in circles until it breaks, falls down and dies.

The last few days have been like this. Going through the motions without any emotion behind the action.

I'm feeling planted but not grounded.
I'm feeling needed but not appreciated.
I'm feeling pulled but not drawn.
I'm feeling sad after being reminded of the unnecessary death of my ex.
I'm feeling almost nothing.
I'm feeling like life has been drained of its interest and color.
I'm feeling the combination of depression and apathy that tends to mark my birthdays as they approach.
I'm feeling stretched too thin.
I'm feeling pushed too far.
I'm feeling like something has got to give.

I'm really feeling like what I really need is a day, week or month off to not have any responsibilities, chores, kids, wives or dogs to command my time and attention. But I'm also well aware that there's little to no chance of anything resembling a break anytime soon. And that doesn't really help me not feel like there's just no point to the whole stupid merry-go-round.

Only I know inside that there's an amazing and awesome world out there. I just don't have access to it these days. I know that I'll wake up soon with a different mindset. I know that life travels in big looping cycles and I'm approaching or just past the low point. But knowing is just one part of the battle.

Plus, I'm sure the dreary sprinkling rain isn't helping at all.

Death of a Warrior Philosopher

Evan Tanner dies in the desert.

This is sort of a shock and kind of expected all in one. Evan Tanner was a UFC mixed martial arts fighter but he was more than that. He was a biker, a thinker, a seeker and more. I've always admired how he went about his business.

I'd be lying if my first thought didn't go straight back to an evening long, long ago now. A few months after I'd moved out to California, I was at work at the health club and just happened to be talking to my brother on the phone when I saw my ex-girlfriend on the news. She lived in Arizona so something was up, I turned up the volume and learned that she'd gone missing. And there was a pretty massive search for her.

It turned out, many weeks later and after her remains were found, that she'd likely been experimenting with peyote, wandered out into the desert and died of exposure.

The news is saying Evan Tanner's motorcycle ran out of gas, he started walking in the heat of the day and didn't make it. Something he was well aware of and wrote of in the last month. Kind of like he saw the shadow of his death before it came to get him.

Rest in peace, Evan. You too, Kimberly.

Honesty? That's a Sucker Play

Lies To Nowhere: The McCain Campaign’s Inaccuracies On Palin’s Bridge To Nowhere Support counts at least 18 times the McCain campaign has erroneously claimed that Sarah Palin opposed the Bridge to Nowhere.

The fact of the matter is that she supported the bridge to Gravina Island until it was politically expedient to not support it. And now the McCain campaign is attempting to whitewash her actions in this matter.

The fact of the matter is Sarah Palin will say and do anything to trick her way into the White House with Grumpy Grandpa POW (did you know he was a POW? You do now. Hey, did you know John McCain was a POW? Hey, POW = John McCain, pssst, I heard John McCain was a POW).

The McCain/Palin ticket is the ticket of bold faced and easily refuted lies because they know the base they are pandering to doesn't care about the truth, they care about soundbites, looking like they care, pretending they are some harbinger of change and misrepresenting the facts and reality in their smear of the other ticket.

What does Sarah Palin stand for?
- She likes the idea of shooting wolves from planes.
- She doesn't believe in global warming and other quaint scientific theories like evolution.
- She believes abstinence-only sex-ed is good enough despite personal evidence to the ironic contrary.
- She believes the war in Iraq is a mission from God (with an apology to the Blues Brothers).
- She attends a church that wants to "fix" gay people.
- Sarah Palin is for censorship.
- Sarah Palin believes that a woman does not have the right to choose.
- Sarah Palin is many things, among them: a liar, a cheat, a flip flopper, a woman-hater and panderer.

Sarah Palin is most definitely not the answer.
John McCain is not the answer. Nor is his experience as a POW.

Our country needs leaders. Our country needs a president who will put the entire country first, not just the richest 1%. Our country needs a leader who will move to restore America's honor and dignity that's been so badly abused over the last 8 years of Republican stewardship. America needs Obama and Biden, not McSame and Payola.

Because I Feel Like Kvetching

I think I'm going to just complain for a little while. Maybe it'll make me feel better and maybe it won't. Either way, there will be words coming after these words, maybe a helpful graphic or two and even one of them hyperlinks (is an internal link called a hypolink?).

Things that annoy me:
Being asked the same thing five times in a row by kids who aren't paying any attention to the kid who just asked the exact same thing two seconds ago.

Support techs who don't support and ignore pointed emails.

Not having more coffee in my travel mug.

Not having an extra five hours of sleep this morning.

When the Skyrates server decides to not function in the narrow window of time I have between waking up and having to leave for work.

Needing to pee but being too lazy to walk all the way to the staff bathroom.

Finding out that a hard drive has died and my day will involve the sheer delight of taking apart and fixing an Apple eMac (one of the most annoying computers EVER to take apart and get at the stupid hard drive).

Wearing shorts to work in the expectation that it will be hot later today and freezing until it actually gets warm.

There are more, plenty more, things that are grinding my gears but I need to go get my tools out of the car and start dismantling. Oh well, at least I can play music while I work. Here comes a little Central Services - I Work For the Government Now to get the groove going the right way.

From the Department of Duh!

Science Proves Exotic Cars Turn Women On which is why fools driving Pintos ain't never got no play.

Sarah Palin and Truthiness

Chris Wallace Fact-Checks Sarah Palin’s Bogus ‘Bridge To Nowhere’ Claims which are, as noted, complete lies and fabrications.

She was totally for the useless bridge until public opinion made it crystal clear that it was a tremendous waste of money. Then she came out against it BUT she also kept all the money already alloted to it.

Sarah Palin knows what the true story is or maybe she doesn't, maybe she's convinced herself that she was always against the Bridge to Nowhere. Luckily there's this little thing called the public record and the internets that let the people verify her claims and call her the bold faced liar she is.

More Sarah Palin Kryptonite

Top Ten Most Disturbing Facts and Impressions of Sarah Palin

Perhaps more than a 15 minute phone call before selecting her would have been in order? Nah, that's what freedom-hating liberals would have done and John McCain's a maverick who does things his own way, as long as Poppa George and Uncle Dick say its okay.

Sarah Palin isn't just unfit for the vice presidency, she's unfit to be held up as any sort of role model at all.

And the selection isn't working anyway, the female voters in this country are (mostly) able to see through this sexist attempt to woo them with a woman on the outside and an extremist religious nutjob on the inside.

McCain/Palin is the ticket of more of the same, only worse and meaner but with lipstick.

Skillz

I'm actually cross posting this link to an awesome video post over at Hunter Cycles called Fresh. The first part of the video is all sandbagging and you have to watch it to a little bit less than halfway through to get to the good stuff.

And the good stuff is jaw droppingly awesome.

Not convinced its worth a click? The video is of a 16 year old guy utterly slaying some mountain bike trails on a mountain unicycle. He's destroying obstacles on a single wheel and the things he's able to do are astounding.

Go on now, go watch and be amazed.

Disgruntled

This might not make a whole lot of sense, it doesn't to me, but just try to nod along every so often and maybe it'll magically end up at something resembling an understanding.

So I just had my five month review, supposedly two months after I'd become a permanent employee with six months of service. Did that make sense? Maybe not. Let me slow down a moment.

I was hired on a full-time basis by the school district on the 5th of February. Previous to this, I'd been a temp. According to my obviously flawed mathematical reasoning, six months after February 5th is July 5th but via the use of the maddeningly obtuse bureaucratic mathematics, six months after February 5th is November 1st.

Does that make the slightest bit of sense to you because it doesn't make any sense to me at all.

What it breaks down to is six months of work is 130 working days. I need to go back through my calendar and see exactly how it really breaks down but, how I see it, the district gets an extra three months of keeping me at a lower pay scale through some creative accounting.

And, in the process, they have gone a long way to convincing me that I need to ramp up and turbo-size and afterburner-ize and supercharge my job hunt for a real job without the stupid ass bullshit bureaucratic hoops to bash up against.

In addition to all of this, I found out that I'm not allowed to take the after hours support job at one of the other schools because of union and payroll problems. It is actually illegal (not sure if that's law or union laws) for a school to hire me as a contractor for the same position I currently hold. Which is, to say, I am unable to earn additional money on my free time.

To call me a disgruntled and pissed off drone is massive understatement.

The problem with all of this is that the bureaucracy tends to weed out better employees through the application of stupid policies like these. Because a better employee has more options available to them and crappier employees do not. Once a crappy employee is entrenched in their position, they are all but impossible to remove and all but impossible to get them to do their job effectively because they have no incentive to do so. They get paid almost no matter what they do even if what they do is absolutely nothing at all.

However, in a depressed economy, decent jobs are harder to come by and the competition for them is substantially harder. But something in this situation has got to give, I just hope it isn't my sanity.

NWoTD - Fitch

Today's new word was inspired by a mother at one of my schools. An obvious fitness fanatic but, less obviously, a bit of a bitch. Therefore came today's new word.

Fitch - fitness bitch or fit bitch.

And yes, my newly invented words do sometimes reflect my mood.

All the words I've come up with are posted over on my Fictionarium along with a ratings system to draw the cream to the top. Yes, I'm well aware that the site needs a serious makeover and its on the list but I just don't have the time to get it done right now. Someday, I promise. In the meantime, head over, rate some words and have some laughs.

Trying Not to Go There

I am having a hard time keeping off the politics right now. I'm pretty stirred up and more than a little pissed off. So far this election isn't about issues, its about rhetoric and sarcastic distraction.

Sarah Palin is not even close to being qualified for the position she's been nominated. It isn't about her being a woman, it isn't about her being a mother of a needy baby with medical issues, it isn't about her being a mother of a pregnant teenager.

It is the combination of her inexperience, her complete lack of international exposure, her religious beliefs, her denial of scientific findings (global warming and evolution being two easy ones), her pro-life/anti-choice beliefs and the overstuffed closet of scandals and misdeeds in her short political career thus far. Need more? Go read Think Progress' Sarah Palin Digest but it ain't pretty. In fact, the whole thing needs to be read by as many Americans as possible.

McCain has the experience but he's also got some deeply held beliefs that are poisonous to this nation. He openly hates the "gooks" who kept him captive and tortured him. He just barely dodged indictment for his deep involvement in the Keating Five scandal in the 90's. He has voted with Bush 90% of the time and has stated he could see the US in Iraq for 50 or 100 years. He's a Luddite who doesn't even begin to grasp the information age and he has absolutely no concept of the challenges facing the real middle class Americans (not the ones he calls middle class who make $5 million a year and only have three or four houses).

Electing John McCain and Sarah Palin won't change anything in this country. Sorry, it won't change anything for the better unless you were already on the money train. For the vast majority of Americans, the election of McCain/Palin will see their lives the worse for it. But they'll sure help the rich get richer, push more Americans into poverty, reduce the number of Americans with healthcare, keep stacking debt onto the national debt, keep disgracing our country abroad, entrench us even deeper in Iraq while Bin Laden STILLS WALKS FREE seven years after 9/11. Notice how nobody in the Republican Party even mentions him anymore?

The thought of four more years of the gutter politics we've labored under is almost too much to bear.

Okay, I promise a post about sunshine and happiness before any more doom and gloom politics. And I think I'll start posting short excerpts here and posting the full posts over on the mostly defunct IP Politik. Yes, I'll dust it off before starting the engine back up over there.

Sarah Palin: Pretty, Pretty Wrong and Pretty Mean

I watched enough of Sarah Palin's acceptance speech at the RNC. I got to see her attempts at sarcastic humor, her factually incorrect jabs at Obama, her factually incorrect revisions of her own record and her general snide GOP-style meanness.

This was her first national coming out party and she did a decent job of it. But it doesn't change the facts stacked up behind her.

Sarah Palin is a bad choice and a downright scary VP given how extreme her religious beliefs are, her zero regard for a woman's right to choose, her desire to "teach" creationism alongside evolution in our schools, anti-environment, pro-gun and an earmarked funds flip flop once public opinion flared up and her Bridge to Nowhere project became a national mockery (she kept the money she'd already gotten, of course).

More than all of this, she's mean. She's got a nasty streak in her, one that enables her to fudge facts for dramatic effect. Plus, her speaking voice has some kind of nasal tone in it that's just annoying to listen to. Maybe its because her intonation is so heavily flecked with self-congratulatory sarcasm and unearned wit but either way, she reminds me of Mike Myers' character Linda Richman and Coffee Talk, too nasal.

On the plus side, her standing next to John McCain makes him look like he's almost fossilized. Or maybe he's been replaced with a Disney animatronic clone? Seriously, there are old people and then there are old old people and McCain is definitely one of them. The chances of Sarah Palin having to step in as president if their ticket somehow wins is pretty high.

And the thought of Sarah Palin as our president is downright scary. This nation needs to move away from the religiosity we've been overtly beat over the head with for the last 8 years.

And the calls for change were kind of bizarre. These people have had the White House for 8 years and they're talking about bringing massive change to America? Why? Because they have to, because they need to distance themselves from the rolling travesty that has been the Bush presidency. You think its a coincidence that Bush and Cheney aren't there? The GOP leaders don't want them there, they want distance because the nation, world and reality itself is sick and tired of the bad combination of venality, stupidity and cowboy posturing that is the Dubya administration. Oh yeah, and corruption, of course, can't forget about the corruption.

And, last thought, is it just me or does Rudi Guilliani look like he's just happy to have an audience to smirk at and with? I think I'm going to start calling him Gobliani because of that goofy look-at-me grin he gets when people clap for him.

By the way, yes, I'm well aware that I'm pretty much the only one who cares about these political posts and believe me when I say I post about one in five that I write. The thought of McCain/Palin taking over from Bush/Cheney is deeply unsettling both personally and for the country. They are the wrong prescription for this country and they will do nothing but continue the policies begun by Bush.

We need change, we need real change, we need leaders who lead, we need vision, we need a real plan not more smoke and mirrors and lies from the GOP. They've had their chance over the last eight years and they have failed miserably on almost every front. Its time for Obama/Biden to start to put our nation back on the path to honor, prosperity and unity.

Today's WTF? Fail

I'm trying to give a trial run to Parallels for the Mac to see if it can resolve some problems at one of my schools (well, actually the problem occurs at all of them).

I registered my info and got ready to download the demo program when I was faced with this rather stupid roadblock error message. The astute observer will notice that there is no field to enter in a phone number therefore this error page is a complete FAIL.

Seizing The Day

I had an appointment last night on my own. Normally my wife joins me and we work on marriage issues, family issues, communication issues and other joyous and fun things like that. But she wasn't feeling well and opted to leave it to me to go alone.

Which was fine, it gave me a chance to explore some issues that I've been coping with. Among them, feeling deficient, regretful and too focused on hindsight as well as the fact that I'm an outstanding starter, a middling middler and a very, very poor finisher. Which is funny in a way because, when I ran cross country in high school, I was awful at the start, pretty bad at the middle but had a very fast and strong finish but I digress.

That I have a tendency to allow minor roadblocks to obstruct my passage and that one possible workaround to this is to put together a support group of like minded people to help keep the forward momentum moving forward. Because most of my friends are in different places, both physically and mentally, I didn't really see a group emerging from people I already know. So I'm going to attempt to form an invention support group via Craigslist.

The odd thing is that, in the act of deciding to do this, I've found a whole new level of motivation to get back behind my invention and propel it forward. What that means for me is to start building out prototypes to see how the idea will work in actual practice. I plan on scoping out some parts later today.

I'm excited to be moving forward again. I want to try and maintain that excitement and get to something resembling a finish line. I know it won't be the end but I'm creating artificial finish lines within the project to allow me the pleasure of crossing them off as they are passed. Because it feels like things are happening when list items get completed and removed from the list altogether.

Next stop is to test the Craigslist community post pool to see who might want or need an invention support group.

Oh Well, File It Under Better To Have Tried and Failed

Than to never have tried at all.

It is September and I never did hear back from the Survivor producers for a second interview which was supposed to take place in August. The only conclusion I can draw is that I was not selected for further inquisition for season 19 of the reality show.

Which is, of course, their loss as I would totally kick all the ass out of Survivor if they put me on the show. I mean that too.

You hearing me, Probst and Burnett? You missed the boat. But its not too late, if you call me up (you've got my numbers) and are nice to me, I'll come and play in your sandbox and make it rock!

I'm mildly bummed about not even making it to the second round but its a learning process and I'm filing this one away for future reference. I'll tryout again when it comes back around.

The Obesity Epidemic

I had an appointment at my chiropractor's last week and, as is their custom, they had some general health information to pass along. The handout from the other day dealt with the rapid and deadly ascent of caloric intake over the last three decades.

I'm trying to find better trending numbers but the rundown looks like this.
1975: 2206 cpd (calories per day)
1985: 2431 cpd
1995: 2599 cpd
2003: 2757 cpd

What does that mean? It means people are eating too much and getting fatter faster than ever before.

The average caloric requirement for an adult man is 2200 calories per day. Stacking an additional 550 calories per day with an equivalent increase in activity means that the average American male can pack on 3800 "bad" calories a week. That's a pound per week in possible weight gain.

The graphic up there details the sharp increase in obesity rates since 1976. The flat line in the middle is the number of overweight but not obese people, its the only promising data in the chart. What we are looking at is nearly 7 in every 10 American adults between the age of 20 and 74 being overweight at best and about half of those are clinically obese. Obese is the definition of anyone with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or above.

Want to get a rough calculation of your BMI? Click here. In the interest of disclosure, my BMI stands at 23.7, a couple of points below the overweight border. But one inch shorter and five pounds heavier and my BMI creeps over into the overweight territory.

It used to be that fat people were fat because they could afford to be and being fat was a sign of wealth. This is no longer the case and with good reason. It is easy to eat a diet stuffed full of empty calories. Go through the drive-thru at Taco Bell, Wendy's or McDonald's and you are going to get a whole assload of worthless fat and carbohydrates.

Becoming aware of the problem is the first step to addressing it. I know I need more exercise and now the issue is just making it happen.

Battlin'

I had a motorcycle mechanic when I lived in Cape Town in South Africa. He was a little old man with a quick wit (and, unfortunately for me, a bad prescription but that's another story) who lived a few miles outside of the city. Everytime I would see him, I would say, "How are you this morning?"

His response would always be to say, "Battlin'" meaning that he wasn't done yet, he was still fighting and working and doing his thing as best he could.

Not a bad philosophy really. While its pretty easy to get pulled into national and international emergencies, politics and tawdry celebrity idiot news, it doesn't really do much for what's happening to you right now. It may make your life a little better to know that Lindsay Lohan thinks her father is a pathetic attention-whore jerk, which he is, but I don't think that makes life much easier in the moment to moment. It may give you a tingly pleasure to know that most of the rest of the world thinks Tom Cruise is an annoying little wanker, just as I do, but that knowledge doesn't get the laundry washed, the dog poop in the backyard scooped up or the freshly scrawled crayon off the stairway wall.

I suppose you could guess that I'm battlin' along these days. Trying to keep my eyes on the immediate prize and trying not to pay attention to those things that tear at me, that diminish my world and make me long for an alternate reality. I am striving to be in this moment and to derive as much as I can from it.

To some degree, it is working. I'm less of a malcontent these days than I have been in a few months. I may not be totally juiced on the world, and I'm not, but I'm also not casting my eyes all over creation looking for who's got it better than me. Because, in the end, it doesn't really matter. I have my life to live and it won't be lived very well at all if my attention is always looking elsewhere for validation.

The McCain Chronicles: Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda, Did

Palin says 17-year-old daughter is pregnant which pretty much effectively is like taking a shotgun to the bottom of the moral authority boat.

Bristol Palin is 17 years old and pregnant and mommy-VP-wanna-be couldn't be happier. Which is to say, Sarah Palin's all about breeding. The more the merrier, the sooner the better to make more. Or something.

I'm starting to wonder if McCain's camp even investigated her immediate family much less her business associates, cronies and special interest favors she's had to hand out to get elected.

I don't care so much about the unmarried part of this scandal but I do care about underage girls getting pregnant. Pretty clear evidence that a crime's been committed but that usually gets lost in the shuffle.

Methinks the cratering of the McCain campaign has begun in earnest.