Intellectual Poison

After having thought about John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin for his running mate for the last day or two, I've got an idea of why he did it. Its part of his strategy to confuse and keep the Democrats counter punching. It keeps him in the driver's seat.

Sarah Palin may be hot, I can see it but she doesn't do much for me, but she's pro-life even in cases of rape and incest, pro big-oil, believes in the intellectually stunted concept of creationism and her appointment is more strategic than anything else. She has almost no political experience and is supposed to be ready to step in and take over in case the president is incapacitated? Are they serious? She's supposed to be ready for that? By what freakish stretch of qualifications could they they think she could ever step in much less be ready for it in under six months?

She is low hanging fruit for severely warped Hillary supporters who would rather directly oppose Hillary's wish to support Obama. I don't know how large a group those people are but I'm hopeful they are not numerous. How angry do you have to be to vote for the exact opposite of what you are asked to do? How short sighted and stupid do you have to be to see Sarah Palin and vote for her because she's a woman with pretty much the exact opposite worldview as Hillary Clinton? And no experience.

Sarah Palin may inject some excitement into the election but this is a near desperation move by McCain. He knows he's trailing and will only trail further and further until his efforts are completely futile. Bringing Sarah Palin on board might slow down the process but I don't think it will change the end result.

McCain loses, Obama wins, the world rejoices, America can hold its head up again and be proud of itself and can start to undo the massive harm done over the last 8 years.

Labels: obama, politics, president

If you aren't planning on voting for Barack Obama in November, why not? What does McCain offer that actually appeals to you?

Oil barons and big business types need not reply, I know your answer and it has big dollar signs all over it.

Obama is about hope and a plan for a brighter and better future for all Americans, how in the hell can you possibly not want that? Unless you're some kind of jerk or something.

Labels: politics

I have, at this moment, four local schools depending on me to maintain and upgrade their campus technology. What this means is that I have four competing tasklists each with high priority items.

And every day I go to a different site, reload for a whole new set of problems, teachers, students and support staff. And everyday I have to reset my expectations for what I might be able to accomplish.

My tasklists are dependent on more than just me to complete items and therein lies the rub. When I am at a site once a week, I need my support tech to actually respond and help me get things sorted out on-site. Otherwise things sit for another week and another week and another week. Which does nothing for my credibility at the site even though it isn't my fault I can't get my support tech out to the site to, you know, support me.

I know my support techs are even busier than I am and I try to cut them as much slack as possible. But I can count, on one hand, the number of times one has said they will be at my site at a certain and they have actually shown up. This is a problem.

Especially when I know they are compulsive email checkers and never let their cellphones get more than five feet away. I know they are getting the messages, they are just choosing to not respond immediately and keep doing whatever it is they are doing.

I don't necessarily blame them but it gets a little hard not to when you're asking for the same support assistance again and again and again.

I like working with the schools, I like what I do but I really dislike having to labor in a dysfunctional bureaucracy that attempts to squeeze too much out of everyone in it and leaves too many too drained to actually do their jobs.

Labels: bureaucracy, work

Graphic Evidence Against Steroid Abuse and yeah it isn't safe for work or humans to look at. Click the link at your own risk.

Damn, the second photo looks like someone shot him in the chest with a shotgun but its just really, really severe acne.

The guy stopped abusing steroids and the acne cleared up but he's got permanent scars to remind him of the impetuousity of his youth.

Stuperior - when one takes the position of intellectual superior and they're, quite obviously, dumb as dirt or just invents facts to support their foregone conclusions. Think Fox News or Bill O'Reilly in particular.

As always, all new words are posted to the Fictionarium where you can rate the words and peruse the archives.

Labels: nwotd

In the history of nicknames I don't think there is any worse or more appropriate nickname than the one bestowed upon Karl Rove by George Bush, Turd Blossom. It succinctly encompassed Rove's evil powers of turning a debate from one of substance into one of useless intangibles. He made people look at a flower made out of a turd and pretend it was worthwhile.

But, in the course of watching a fair amount of MMA (mixed martial arts) fighting and a predominance of that being UFC, I have come across a large assortment of nicknames, some good and some just bad and annoying enough to make me cheer against that fighter. Here's a rather out of date (last updated in 2002) list of some UFC nicknames. Here's a much bigger list.

Here's a list of names and some reasons why they are either good or bad.

On the good nicknames column, you'll find:
Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell - one punch knockout power puts his opponents on ice, perfect name.
Chris "The Crippler" Leben - an iron jaw and great knockout power makes him a crippler. Need proof, go watch his fight against Terry Martin. He could have also gone with "Rebound" as his nickname because that's what he does too.
Randy "The Natural" Couture - the guy is a freak, in a good way. He's in his mid-40's now and still ranked in the top ten fighters on the planet. I hope he doesn't squander his few remaining years in legal squabbles with the UFC.
Rich "Ace" Franklin - not sure if this is because he resembles Jim Carrey's Ace Ventura or whether he's just the top dog in the deck. Either way, its short, sweet, memorable and fits him well.
Spencer "The King" Fisher - works on multiple levels. Plus he has a tendency to royally kick his opponent's asses.
Marcus "The Irish Hand Grenade" Davis - he's an explosive fighter with an explosive nickname, works for me.
Ed "Short Fuse" Herman - I don't like the guy but he's got a pretty cool nickname.
Nate "Rock" Quarry - of course he's going to be called Rock. I guess its just lucky he's got hard hands and throws them well.
Roger "El Matador" Heurta - great nickname and it fits him. He's a passionate and dangerous fighter.
Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez - this guy had an amazing run of ruining other fighter's records and giving them nightmares. The nickname also fits his fighting style which can be described as balls to the wall.
Jens "Little Evil" Pulver - he looks evil, he's a small guy but he fights like a demon possessed and I kind of like him.

On the bad nickname column you will find such annoyances as:
Josh "The People's Warrior" Burkman - you are not my warrior and I'm a people ergo your nickname is stupid.
Tito "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy" Ortiz - Beach and Bad Boy do not go together.
Matt "Handsome" Wiman - dude, you're not that pretty.
Matt "The Terror" Serra - the only terror I get from Matt Serra is when he doesn't shut that yap of his up.
Andrei "The Pitbull" Arlovski - given how awful his last couple of fights have been, his nickname should be changed to "The Yapping Poodle". Pitbulls don't duff through rounds and incite a crowd to booing because your fight is so boring.
Kenny "Ken Flo" Florian - any comparison to Jennifer Lopez should be avoided. Kenny is a great fighter, he deserves a great nickname.
Joe "Daddy" Stevenson - um yeah, I want to fight my father. Just stupid and pointless.

I've had a few nicknames over the years but most don't stick for too long. Generally folks call me Erik if they call me at all. When I had a broken eye orbit and had to wear a pirate eye patch my pals called me Patch for a bit but most of the time, if someone uses a nick with me it'll just be E. Maybe because I make everyone so ecstatic all the time? No, probably not.

Got any nicknames you love or hate? Or a nickname you wish you had? Let's hear them in the comments.

Labels: mma, nicknames, UFC

Kimbo Slice, the backyard bare-knuckle brawler who found fame on YouTube turned MMA star, has had his upcoming fight announced. He's going to fight UFC hall-of-famer elect and should have retired a couple of years ago but can't because of ego issues, Ken Shamrock.

Yes, the same Ken Shamrock who used to be an extraordinary fighter with awful whisker work (that's bad beard and facial hair). Yes, the same Ken Shamrock who got his ass resoundingly kicked by Tito Ortiz despite Tito's rapidly declining skills (which look far worse because of the equally rapid evolution of the rest of the sport) not once but twice. I have a ton of respect for what Ken Shamrock has done in his career as a mixed martial artist. But I have zero respect for this fight and I have little respect for Kimbo Slice if they keep giving him these lame duck fights. I mean, come on, look how old and tired Ken looks in the picture they're using to promote the fight! He looks like he skipped his nap for the photo shoot. And couldn't they airbrush some of that grey off him?

Kimbo Slice, aka Kevin Ferguson, has some fighting skills but there's a reason the promoters over at Elite XC aren't putting him in the octagon against real fighters in their prime. Because he will get his ass utterly kicked and the Elite XC's main draw will look like the low-end amateur fighter he really is.

Don't get me wrong, Kimbo can fight. He can kick the shit out of most anyone in a backyard brawl. But he's not fighting unprepared goombas in a backyard. Now he's supposed to be facing real MMA fighters. But so far he's been given tomato cans to pound on and even the tomato cans are giving him more fight than he can handle. So much so that many people think he might have actually lost his last fight to Thompson.

Ken Shamrock's best fighting days are long, long behind him but I bet he actually puts up a decent fight against Kimbo, if the fight goes longer than the first minute of the first round. Otherwise Kimbo will likely catch him with a looping overhand punch that will stun him enough for Kimbo to pound him out.

I’d like to see how Kimbo fares against a mid-level fighter in his prime. My bet would be that he gets the holy tar kicked right out of him. Which is why we won't see anything resembling a good fight for Kimbo anytime soon, Elite XC would be flushing one of their main paychecks down the toilet.

And Ken just needs to call it a career and ride off into the sunset to train his rising protégés or something.

Next up for discussion will be Brock "Don't Make Fun of My Stupid, Stupid, Stupid Hairstyle" Lesnar and his recent ass kicking of Heath Herring.

Labels: Kimbo Slice, mma, tomato can

I get the desire to have a unique name, I get the desire to carve out a little specialness for each child because each child is special and unique and awesome unto themselves.

However, there are some issues I have with people naming their children names that they don't really know how to spell. There should be a requirement to be able to spell a name properly before you are allowed to use it to name your kid.

I mean, seriously, did the parents of one student at my school actually intend on giving their child the middle name of Annn? What about the proud parents of Jonahtan (yes, that's Jonah-tan)? Or what about the boy who's middle name is Joesph?

The world is in dire need of a spell check.

And, almost forgot, please do not ever name your kid after the kind of car you want, most especially if you aspire to own a Chevy or Hyundai. Or a city, unless its something cool like Biloxi or Mississuaga, not Paris or anything lame like that. Your cooperation is appreciated by both me and your offspring who will be less likely to get beat up for having a stupid name.

Labels: names, stupid

One of the best and coolest things about the internet age has been the easy access to music from any genre. File sharing makes it simple to amass a rather ridiculously huge music collection without a whole lot of effort, at least on the front end.

Some fall out from all of this music I've amassed is that I've got multiple, overlapping libraries. That is, several large folders filled with music that's partially duplicated in other large folders filled with music. Up until now, there's been no simple way of consolidating the files into one massive master folder.

But, with a large external hard drive to temporarily store stuff on and iTunes 7 (or whatever number it is now) I've been able to combine all of these disparate music folders into one huge ass folder with more than 80 gigs of music.

Now comes the fun part of de-duping within iTunes. Basically Apple-clicking duplicate songs and then deleting them. It seems like it could be really easy to automate but there's plenty of songs I actually want the multiple copies of, some songs are live, some are covers, some are compilations, some are duets. Anyway, the process is ongoing, tedious and slow but will result in a sparkling clean music library.

However, this post wasn't so much about all of the music I've accumulated but rather than some of it is just too alien and outside my tastes.

I've learned that I like some Blues but find it gets pretty repetitive quickly and starts to sound an awful lot alike. I've found that I don't really care for Jazz much. And I find 99% of country music to pretty much suck.

Just as I tend to find heavy metal to be tedious, repetitive and mostly unlistenable. And yes, that includes its demon spinoffs, speed metal, death metal, grunge metal and folk metal (yeah, I made the last one up).

And, during my delightful time here in Watsonville, I've been exposed to more crappy Mexican music than you could even begin to imagine. Or maybe its just the same crappy Mexican song played over and over again at varying volumes, I can't really tell nor do I really care. It's awful crap and it really doesn't get even a tiny bit better when its turned up so loud I can hear it a block away.

Oh yeah, celeb-rock. When idiot pop-tarts have been sniffing their own farts too much and somehow think they can sing. Did you happen to know that Lindsay Lohan is currently working on her third or fourth CD? Or utter morons like Paris Hilton, who isn't a celebrity, singing her perfect crap music. Scarlett Johannson is another ego wanking singer who can't sing worth a pile of beans but is eagerly working on her second album. Why?

All of this bitching and whining might make a reader wonder what kind of music I actually do like since the list of stuff I don't like is pretty extensive.

Well then. I have always loved classic rock like Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Pink Floyd, AC/DC, The Who, The Police and others of the same ilk. I love Bob Marley, Ziggy Marley, Junior Gong, Pato Banton, Yellowman, Eek-a-Mouse, Third World, Inka Inka, Peter Tosh and a whole host of reggae stars I'm overlooking. I love ska, especially punky ska like The Mighty Mighty Bosstones but also Madness, Desmond Dekker, the Skatalites, Sublime and No Doubt (though they are less and less ska and much more mainstream rock). I do not like crap like Reel Big Fish. I like island music like Harry Belafonte, Baja Men (they have many more songs than the one overplayed but still entertaining Who Let the Dogs Out), Shaggy, Jimmy Buffett and steel drum bands.

I like clever music like Handsome Boy Modeling School. I like bluesy-rock like The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. I like alternative music like Weezer, Wilco and Cake.

What it comes down is liking what I like, knowing what I don't like and going with what works over what doesn't. My wife says my musical tastes reflect my inability to keep focused on anything for very long, she calls it ADD music. Which is fine, I still know what I like.

Labels: music, taste

Techdirt: 30% Of Internet Users Admit To Buying From Spam and though the article notes some potential numerical fallacies in the mix, there is still a ridiculously high number of people making spammer a viable career path.

If you've ever bought anything from a spam then you are part of the problem. Please stop helping to bring about the ruination of the internet, there are those of us who need it for porn.

Scatalexical - invented words that have to do with fecal matters.

As always, this new word has been added to the Fictionarium and could use a few ratings to make it feel at home.

Labels: nwotd

It helps that my pal Jack over at What Would Jack Do regularly blogs politics. I've tried to but I find myself shaking with rage far too often and that's just not healthy.

One of my favorite series he's been running is categorized as The Road to Hell is Paved with Republicans and has lately been detailing the myriad insanities muttered by John McCain on his trudge towards the glory of GOP nomination for President.

I know there are staunch Republicans who'd rather buy a hybrid than vote Democrat. And I suppose, on some levels, I can respect that loyalty although I'd metaphorize it into being the abusee in a dysfunctional relationship. Unless you've gotten rich over the last eight years, you're the backs the GOP has been standing on to get rich. If you have gotten rich then send some of the ill gotten loot my way (I promise to shut up if you do). Backing the Republican party at this juncture is like trying to live with your head in the sand. The GOP has made such a thorough clusterfucking mess of the world that its hard to remember that things weren't always so damned bleak and awful in the US.

There was a time when there were jobs, when there was money for everyone, when Americans abroad didn't pretend they were from Canada, there was a time when the presidential scandals involved plump interns, cigars and stained dresses. Now the scandals involve thousands of dead soldiers, an intractable war, an economy on life support with rolling blackouts and an overall level of venality unseen since Attila walked the earth.

I'm not saying everything will be all roses when Barack Obama is elected President. It won't. Ships don't right themselves in a heartbeat and the damage done over the last eight years will take some time to undo. But damn, oh damn it is about frigging time to start undoing the damage.

And voting for McCain is a vote for more of the same ugly bullshit politics we've suffered plenty of for the last 8 years. Aren't you ready for a real change? Aren't you ready for some hope and some light at the end of the long, angry tunnel? Barack Obama brings hope and a vision for the America we all know, remember and loved.

Anyway, Jack's got the quality GOP slammin' goods. Check him out. His truth only hurts those who aren't ready to open both eyes and recognize how deeply unfit John McCain is to lead this country.

Labels: John McCain, politics

Kakaphony - when a parent is convinced that a diapered kid has just made a major deposit in his/her diaper but, upon inspection, no such load exists. The "evidence" can also be accompanied by aural aides like loud juicy farts (nice, eh?).

Like this word? Head over to the Fictionarium and rate it.

Labels: fictionarium, nwotd

This is more a reminder to myself than a blog post to help others. It has that capacity but its really about reminding myself how important it is to exist in the here and now rather than looking backwards or forwards to what was and what shall be.

There is an inherent peace in existing in the now. There is a presence in the present that requires hindsight and foresight to be shelved for another time and there is happiness in being present.

I try to keep it in mind that these minutes and hours and days I get with my little boys are fleeting and will be gone forever before I know it. I remind myself of this and my "need" to check email, baseball scores, update my game queues and whatever else I thought I had to do becomes secondary. Then I'm more able to give my attention and energies to my boys and we can play and have more fun than we could by playing on our own.

Be here now, exist in this moment and you might be surprised at how much less stress you might feel. Your attention is one gift that you can give away again and again and never run out of it, just like a smile. Be generous with it.

Labels: attention, present, reminder

I am looking ahead to a full day of regular work, a couple of hours of afterschool supervision extra work. Then, after work, I've got a meeting at another school to see if we can work out some additional tech support in the margins, on evenings and weekends.

And then, after that shortish meeting is done, I'm scheduled to head to Grady's preschool for some parent/teacher meeting of some sort.

The skinny of it all is that it will easily be a 13 or 14 hour day when its done. The upside will be another job, this one outside my regular hours and for another elementary school in the area. That will bring my stable of schools up to 4 and my hours to something like 125% of regular time. Shame I don't get overtime for the extra hours because that would make it quite worthwhile but the devil is in the requisitions and budgeting.

Either way, I'm sure I'm going to be pretty well wiped out by the time I'm officially off the clock this evening. And it sure helps to be coughing up the many varied shades of lung butter I've got as my allergies come further and further under control of my generic Claritin.

Labels: allergies, long day, work

This is widely attributed to Mark Twain but there's some evidence that he may not have said it. Either way, it is one of my favorite quotes of all time.

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

I never felt anything like this about my own father. Its hard to think of a highly educated industrial chemist as being ignorant. My dad was the kind of dad you could ask almost any question that a child will come up with, things like "Why is the sky blue?" or "Why does milk curdle if you add orange juice to it?" and he would give you a fully reasoned explanation. Sometimes going so far as to describe the chemical processes at work.

My dad was awesome. I still miss him everyday.

Labels: father, quote

You know how there are some mornings when you wish the coffee maker was in your bedroom and not all the way downstairs in the kitchen? That's about how my day started.

The coffee goes in, the eyes start to crack open and the day starts to really begin.

I'm finding that my formula of late nights and early mornings isn't working as well as I might hope. One of the two is going to have to change and I don't see the mornings flexing very much so that means I've absolutely got to get to bed earlier.

I've now got a thermos full of coffee in me, ready to get cranking on my big list of tasks to try and tackle today. Funny, I don't see a nap listed on there anywhere.

Bummer.

At least the commute was painfree and fast. Now I just need to do a little wardriving at lunch today to find a non-firewalled Wifi signal to keep on top of a couple of other projects.

No more kvetching for now, time to put feet to pavement and resolve some problems.

Labels: kvetching, work

It occurred to me last night that I should see about adding ratings to the new words I create and post here and on the Fictionarium.

Imagine my joy when a quick Google search discovered that ratings are already built into the draft.blogger.com. I'm still monkeying around with getting the ratings to be visually synergistic with the rest of the blog but its pretty much under construction until I can get back to it and get all the old sidebar info added back. This is one of the problems with upgrading to the new layouts.

I wish there a way to add ratings to individual posts that linked into those ratings over there but I'm just not that good. Yet. I'll keep looking around for add-on systems that allow me to do things exactly as I want to do them.

In the meantime, head over and rate some words! Please.

[Update: I'm actually thinking that I might end up using a third party solution as its more extensible and flexible for my needs. But rate away in the meantime anyway, its all good.]

Labels: fictionarium, nwotd, ratings

I came up with a polite way of saying someone has a shitty way of looking at things. They are viewing the world through brown tinted glasses.

Thank you, I be here all of the week.

Labels: quote, worldview

Paraphrasing the Grateful Dead, Sometimes you can see something new if you just look at things with a different lens (sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right). I really like chips in heavy glass, alot more when the window in question isn't my own. But I like how the glass warps light and makes everything go all abstract and crazy looking.

I think its a good reminder to change how you look at things every so often. Step outside of your mind and look at the world with a fresh perspective and you might just find that all of those ponderous weights on you are there just because you allow them to be there.

I need to remind myself of this alot more often to keep from feeling crushed under the weight of my own self-imposed burdens.

Labels: abstract, perspective

Today is the first day of the rest of the week, that's an easy one. Its also my first day of a full week of kids being back in school.

But the really big first that happens today is that Graydon begins his first day of school today. And Sullivan becomes the big dog at the day care without his big brother to overshadow him.

Sully has been fighting a goopy eye thing, he's getting drops now to help clear it up but we're not sure if he'll be able to go to the preschool opening day which means that I may not be able to go to Grady's first day.

I think things will work out in the end.

Oh, did I mention that Graydon specifically asked to have his hair spiked for school? Yeah. He was working on his hair in the mirror the other evening and decided the spikes are a good look. He is an unfathomably cute kid and, yes, I will try to get a pic of his spike-iness.

Happy first day of the week to you and yours.

Labels: first day of school, preschool, school

My totally subjective list of the top ten or eleven most annoying people in Hollywood. With links to sites that make fun of them where possible. Why yes, I am feeling snide today, thanks for asking.

1. Paris Hilton - never let a lack of talent or an eye that can't open all the way stop you from inflicting your talentless ass on the universe by a "leaked" (and boringly bad) sex tape scandal.

2. Tori Spelling - dumb, dumb Donna. Who knew she wasn't acting when she was inflicted on 90210 as the idiot blond?

3. Tom Cruise - the reincarnation of Napoleon with wolf teeth and a penchant for couch jumping and ignorant superiority complexes.

4. Sean Combs - Dude, just close your mouth every once in a while. Please. Do it for the children.

5. Kathy Griffin - yeah, not top ten material but the spiritual incarnation of Carrottop's feminine side is about as funny (that is, not at all) and almost as sexy (that is, not in any way, shape or form). She makes Jose Canseco's hair style look decent and that's saying an awful lot.

6. Sarahika Jessica Parker - horses should not wear eyeliner and lots of rouge, some might even call it cruel. She's hideous and annoying.

7. Mel Gibson - drunken hate speech is just the same as sober hate speech, just more honest. Shame because The Road Warrior is one of my all-time favorite movies (I grew up in the VHS era and it was one of the few movies we had on tape, I must have watched it three dozen times).

8. Robin Williams - dude, Mork & Mindy got canceled decades ago, please find a new schtick.

9. Ellen Degeneres - if self-deprecation was an art-form then she'd be freakin' da Vinci. And her clothes bug me too. Luckily she's got an amazingly hot girlfriend soon to be wife that helps offset her rather high standalone annoyance factor.

10. Donald Trump - not restricted solely to Hollywood as he's a power player in New York too (and don't you DARE fucking forget it or he'll destroy you just because he can). Teh Donald is Teh Jackass with a Ridiculous Wig who looks like he sucks lemons all the live long day.
And one more because I nearly forgot about him.

11. Shia LaBeouf - goofy names aside, this kid is a walking tool with a shoulder on his chip. Every photo of him I've seen he's got some cheesy peach fuzz thing going on and is trying to look like a tough guy when he's a wee little punk. His recent drunk driving accident and subsequent hand mashing is just the latest in a series of really asinine events including getting arrested for refusing to leave a Walgreens, an arrest for unlawful smoking and a video of him calling his buddies fags surfaced and he just comes off as a colossal shitheel.

Dishonorable Mentions: Those who are annoying but don't quite ascend to the levels the top ten get to.
David Schwimmer, Mario Lopez, the gay guy on Debra Messing's show, Tony Danza, Michael Richards, Andy Dick, Carlos Mencia, Kim Kardashian, Hulk Hogan (Dude, lose the friggin' Do Rag, you're like 50).

I'm sure I'll remember several others the instant this posts but this'll do for now.

Labels: annoying, celebrity, Hollywood

Reintardation - being reincarnated as a mentally handicapped person.

Found over at Ryan's blog as a response to an op-ed piece about Ben Stiller's latest movie, Tropic Thunder, in which the use of retard is rampant. The movie, from almost all accounts, is flipping hilarious. Unless you like your humor to be all PC and non-insulting like.

Posted, with attribution, to the Fictionarium.

Labels: nwotd

I've been pretty much belly up all day today after spending the entire night horking and blowing. If these are just allergies then they pack a wallop but I'm thinking more and more that I picked up an early school year cold.

Either way, its really hard to get any rest with two little boys in the house. And a dog that has to bark at the UPS truck driving by.

I think I'll go and lay down again now though.

Labels: allergies, sick

I knew it was coming, I knew the office manager at one of my schools who continually tried to get me to do things that are outside of my job specs would start trying it again. And I was not disappointed.

Today she tried to turn me into her office assistant. Just got run off a copy for each student, put enough for each teacher in their boxes, okthanksverymuchbyebye.

Let's get this straight, I'm a computer tech, I don't make copies, I don't do site administration, I don't do office work. I fix computers on campus, I create a curriculum for the students to adhere to during their free time access to the computer lab and I tend to the computer lab.

Of course, she couldn't care less about what my job is, she's an overbearing and bossy lady who's used to people jumping to attention when she barks at them. And the patent fact that I do not and will not thoroughly pisses her off to no end.

I have a meeting coming up with the principal and assistant principal on another issue but I will also mention this, let them know there's a history and that I won't be pushed to do work that's outside my job specs. They aren't paying me near enough for any above and beyond work.

The only way I'm doing two people's jobs here is if they pay me two salaries and that ain't happening.

Labels: work

Obsceneity - a scene so beautiful or striking that it makes swear. Such as, one's first viewing of the Big Sur coastline makes one utter "Holy fuck, this is beautiful."

As always, you can find this new word and all the others over in my Fictionarium.

Labels: nwotd

Several weeks ago I got some new fish for my tank, one of which was a gold snail. I didn't get him (or her, how can you tell, heck, how can they tell?) because he's pretty, I got him because they are algae eating machines and I've been battling algae in the tank for a long time.

A few days ago he was belly up in the back of the tank, motionless and, by all appearances, muerte (that's Frenchy-talk for dead). For two days, he did not move a millimeter, his squishy parts were drawn in and I was getting ready to scoop and dispose of his carcass.

Only this morning he was in a different place, belly down, attached to the rock but not active. After my shower he was decidedly in another different place but not apparently active.

I'm glad he's not dead but now I fear for my life because I'm pretty sure he's a zombie snail. And sure, you can see his attack coming from a mile away but I can tell he's got a thirst for brain juice. Or maybe I've watched too much Spongebob.

[Update: My wife was kind enough to take a photo and send it to me while I was writing this post as proof that he is "alive" and as well as a zombie snail can be. Doesn't he look vicious?]

Labels: dead, undead, zombie

For some bizarre reason or another, there are no good FM radio stations in the Monterey Bay area. There are some that play decent music some of the time, like KPIG or KZSC but the former has a love affair with the twangy bag of shit that is country music and the latter is just too all over the place. It'll be emo stuff one hour then roots reggae the next then euro-speed-metal then bluegrass.

The result of which is that I listen to almost exclusively AM radio and the predominant station is KNBR, the flagship station of the San Francisco Giants, Forty-Niners and San Jose Sharks.

The only problem is that there are large blocks of time during the day that I just cannot stand to listen.

There's the nine to noon block where Gary Radnich, the yellingest asshole in radio, lords his voice over all. His promos are shouted, he shouts all the time, he's bitter, old and the opposite of entertaining. He should really just piss off and go cry into his beer at the corner dive bar. I honestly have no idea why or how anyone can listen to him.

Then there's Fitz and Brooks, the tall black guy and the short white guy. They can be listenable but far, far, FAR too often Brooks goes off on a lame tangent about something he thinks is funny when it isn't. And then there are the interminably unfunny jokes about being short (how's the weather down there? do people try to toss you when you go to bars? blah, blah, blah). My irritation meter hovers around 70% and flashes over the line too easily.

And then there's the afternoon team of the Razor and Mr. T. The Razor is the ever-annoying Ralph Barbieri who is about the worst interviewer I've ever heard. If he could jackoff some of the guests he has on, he would. He is the worst kind of pathetic suckup to athletes and then comes up with utterly ridiculous ideas (he suggested to Barry Zito that he give some money back to the Giants because he wasn't playing well earlier this season and asked him if he would do it). He cuts off callers before they've gotten their point across and ends his show with the worst tag line in the history of radio "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly" which isn't a bad quote but its a horrible tagline. Mr. T is Tom Tolbert who is alright but has a pretty over-inflated ego that gets in the way of his being actually funny. Plus he's an ex-basketball player, one of the only sports that I pretty much will not watch but that's a post for another time.

Damon Bruce has some good sports stuff but he comes across like a spittle launching barfly. He'll shout you down even if he's agreeing with you.

The only hosts I can actually listen to without cringing often are Murph and Mac in the morning. They have a good rapport, good banter, include their producer and assistant often and have solid sports insights. Its a shame they stop at 9 and Radnich comes on because that's when the radio gets turned off.

Of course, the other good times on KNBR are when Kruk, Kuip, Dave Fleming and Jonny Miller are broadcasting Giants games.

Another major pet peeve with KNBR is that it often feels like there's forty five minutes of commercials per hour. It is almost ridiculous how often they do a two minute bit and then break for ten minutes of the same lame commercials (the yellow pages one makes me instantly change the station, it is so stupid and aggravating). I am also a huge proponent of not having the radio hosts do the ads.

All of this wouldn't be so bad if there were another game in town that was halfway decent. But there isn't, its KNBR or nothing. And, too much of the time, nothing is better than the steaming something KNBR serves up. It would nice if we could get KFOG over on this side of the hill.

Labels: KNBR, radio, Suck

Over the course of writing Intellectual Poison, I create alot of draft posts. As of last check there are more than 900 drafts sitting and waiting (edit, after much one at a time deleting, that number is under 800) for their moment in the sun, as it were. So here are a few.

Why is something called a private matter and something else can be a open for general discussion? A private in the military is, to be blunt, everybody's bitch and a general is about the most inaccessible guy in the military. How can their ranks be so inverted to their realities?

A good rule of thumb for selecting a movie to watch. If it has any of the Carradine's in it then it is pretty well assured to suck.

Wisdom from an animated milkshake.
"Gee willikers, it must be Obvious Day at Camp Stupid" - Master Shake of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force

And how about a porn called Beaverly Hills 90269?

And finally, CatapultKits.com Have you hurled today?

Labels: drafts, random