10.27.2008

Clearly Named Political Groups

Submitted for your review, a list of political groups with honest names along with suggested spokespeople.

The Christian Coalition of Conservative Dumbfuckery
Spokesidiot: Elizabeth "I'll say any GOP talking point you want even if I have no idea what it means" Hasselbeck

Western Hemisphere Homophobic Knobgobblers
Spokesbottom: Larry "Toe-tapper in the crapper" Craig

Bible Thumping Ass Blaster Meth Master Pastors
Spokespastor: Ted "Gay is bad but feels so good, especially when you're high on meth" Haggard

Single Issue White Haters
Spokesdouche: Rudy "Grinning Goblin of 9/11 Repeatance" Guiliani

Rich White Fat Greedy Assholes
Spokesrectum: Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney

The Alliance to Gang Rape Mother Earth
Spokestwit: Sarah "Drill, baby, Drill" Palin

Patriots for Censorship, Intolerance and Bigotry
Spokescensor: Newt Gingrich

Little Old White Ladies Who Fear Everything Including Black People and Change
Spokestrembler: Cindy "Where's my pills?" McCain

Chinless Warhawk Senator Flip Floppers
Spokestraitor: "Chinless" Joe Lieberman

And there we go. Have you come up with any honestly named groups? Yes, you may have noticed that these are all Republican groups. The reason for that is because the Republican party has, far, far more regularly, than the Democrats, engaged in negative, untruthful smear style campaigning that lowers the debate for all.

I hope this list of groups is marginally humorous. I chuckled a couple of times while writing it, mostly at the first one which I wrote while watching that Parrotard (yes, new word) Hasselbeck become Sarah Palin's only adviser she'll listen to. Plus, I just like saying the word dumbfuckery.
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