8.27.2008

Good and Bad Nicknames

In the history of nicknames I don't think there is any worse or more appropriate nickname than the one bestowed upon Karl Rove by George Bush, Turd Blossom. It succinctly encompassed Rove's evil powers of turning a debate from one of substance into one of useless intangibles. He made people look at a flower made out of a turd and pretend it was worthwhile.

But, in the course of watching a fair amount of MMA (mixed martial arts) fighting and a predominance of that being UFC, I have come across a large assortment of nicknames, some good and some just bad and annoying enough to make me cheer against that fighter. Here's a rather out of date (last updated in 2002) list of some UFC nicknames. Here's a much bigger list.

Here's a list of names and some reasons why they are either good or bad.

On the good nicknames column, you'll find:
Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell - one punch knockout power puts his opponents on ice, perfect name.
Chris "The Crippler" Leben - an iron jaw and great knockout power makes him a crippler. Need proof, go watch his fight against Terry Martin. He could have also gone with "Rebound" as his nickname because that's what he does too.
Randy "The Natural" Couture - the guy is a freak, in a good way. He's in his mid-40's now and still ranked in the top ten fighters on the planet. I hope he doesn't squander his few remaining years in legal squabbles with the UFC.
Rich "Ace" Franklin - not sure if this is because he resembles Jim Carrey's Ace Ventura or whether he's just the top dog in the deck. Either way, its short, sweet, memorable and fits him well.
Spencer "The King" Fisher - works on multiple levels. Plus he has a tendency to royally kick his opponent's asses.
Marcus "The Irish Hand Grenade" Davis - he's an explosive fighter with an explosive nickname, works for me.
Ed "Short Fuse" Herman - I don't like the guy but he's got a pretty cool nickname.
Nate "Rock" Quarry - of course he's going to be called Rock. I guess its just lucky he's got hard hands and throws them well.
Roger "El Matador" Heurta - great nickname and it fits him. He's a passionate and dangerous fighter.
Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez - this guy had an amazing run of ruining other fighter's records and giving them nightmares. The nickname also fits his fighting style which can be described as balls to the wall.
Jens "Little Evil" Pulver - he looks evil, he's a small guy but he fights like a demon possessed and I kind of like him.

On the bad nickname column you will find such annoyances as:
Josh "The People's Warrior" Burkman - you are not my warrior and I'm a people ergo your nickname is stupid.
Tito "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy" Ortiz - Beach and Bad Boy do not go together.
Matt "Handsome" Wiman - dude, you're not that pretty.
Matt "The Terror" Serra - the only terror I get from Matt Serra is when he doesn't shut that yap of his up.
Andrei "The Pitbull" Arlovski - given how awful his last couple of fights have been, his nickname should be changed to "The Yapping Poodle". Pitbulls don't duff through rounds and incite a crowd to booing because your fight is so boring.
Kenny "Ken Flo" Florian - any comparison to Jennifer Lopez should be avoided. Kenny is a great fighter, he deserves a great nickname.
Joe "Daddy" Stevenson - um yeah, I want to fight my father. Just stupid and pointless.

I've had a few nicknames over the years but most don't stick for too long. Generally folks call me Erik if they call me at all. When I had a broken eye orbit and had to wear a pirate eye patch my pals called me Patch for a bit but most of the time, if someone uses a nick with me it'll just be E. Maybe because I make everyone so ecstatic all the time? No, probably not.

Got any nicknames you love or hate? Or a nickname you wish you had? Let's hear them in the comments.
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