3.20.2008

Squatting for Olympic Gold

Another Olympic problem — squat toilets

What is a squat toilet you ask? Its basically a hole in the ground that you aim your crap into.

Gosh, I don't see why third world toilets would be a problem at the Olympic Games. I'm sure the Chinese government is doing everything they can to reprogram the universe that squatting over a dirty hole is every bit as culturally advanced as indoor plumbing and, you know, seats.

Let's face it, giving the Olympics to China makes about as much sense as saying the next games will be held on the moon. China has a long and despicable history of human rights violations, animal rights violations, environmental violations and they (to steal a line from Ryan) are working overtime to ensure that all children in America have more than their required levels of lead contamination from crappy toys.

I lost interest in the Olympics years ago, primarily because of the incredibly lame Dream Team basketball stupidity (i.e. by what stretch can a team of multi-millionaire professional basketball players be considered amateur?). And holding them in China will make them that much easier to ignore.

At this point, I avoid China and anything Made in China as much as possible. And the Made in China Olympics will be just one more thing to add to the list. I'm sure a large percentage of athletes are seriously considering boycotting on ethical grounds as well as the air quality issues the Chinese swear they'll have resolved by then (funny how they couldn't give a damn about air quality before the Olympics were coming).

Squat toilets will not sit well with foreigners and I will not be the least bit surprised when this Olympics gets horrible marks, bad ad revenue and among the lowest viewership in modern Games history. I know I won't be paying any attention whatsoever.

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