1.29.2008

Cock Punch Tuesday

I'm feeling a little extra cynical this morning so I thought it would be fun to go through an off-the-cuff list of people in the news who really need a good, hard cock punch and why.

George Bush - um, because he's been a miserably crappy jackass of a president
Bono - his desperate need for a cock punch is only outpaced by his desperate need to appear to be a good and decent guy when he's really a colossal douchebag
Al Davis - thanks for continuing to guide the Raiders into the black hole that is your own asshole, your public emasculation of Lane Kiffin to try and force him to quit to save $4 million is beyond contempt and you have doomed your team to the cellar until you sell them or die
Arnold Schwarzenegger - you want to shut 48 California State Parks to save $13 million over two years, the asinine-dness of this proposal is truly staggering
Bud Selig - thanks for being a hypocritical ass
Roger Clemens - you juiced, everyone knows it, quit pretending you didn't because all its doing is making you look like an even bigger dick than you already are
Lynne Spears - you writing a book on parenting is like Ted Bundy writing a book on dating tips, you are an all-time hall of fame bad parent of an insane 20something and a pregnant 16 year old, your parenting advice is laughable
Jessica Simpson - just because the stupidification of America started with you, you incredibly dense simpleton
Rudy Guiliani - every day you look more and more like a ghoul with receding lips and gums, like monkey trying to show dominance or something
Tom Cruise - dude, just shut up and go away. You and your scam religion are just annoying and stupid

That's all I've got for right now, I'm sure there are more. Who do you think is in desperate need of a cock punch?

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