The Ultimate Fighter: Another Review

I just watched the latest episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Hughes vs. Serra.

It was probably one of the worst fights I've ever seen on the show. George from "Team Serra" is a selfish douchebag who flew off the handle on his teammate when he was asked a pretty simple favor. J-Rock from Team Hughes was all muscle and bluster and demonstrated almost nothing in the ring. He just couldn't pull the trigger and engage.

It was lame, just like most of this entire season has been lame. Easily the worst season yet.

I hope Tommy "Farmboy" Speer vs Warmachine next week turns out to be a better fight. It damned well better. Or I'm about done with this season altogether.

And I'd really like to have a "Mute Matt Serra" button on my remote. The guy is about the most annoying guy ever. Not that Matt Hughes is much better but at least he doesn't have that freakin' voice.

The only thing I have to look forward to is watching Hughes pound the whiny, annoying snot out of Matt Serra at the end of the season.

Paradigm Shifts and Who ARE These Children?

It is just past 7 in the morning. At about twenty to seven, Sully was awake and tried to get up on our bed so he could dance. At seven Grady was asking to brush his teeth. Both are filled to the brim with goofy little boy excitement.

And me? I'm getting ready to go to work. Today is my first regular start and they must have sensed the shift in the universe around the house. Yesterday Grady kept asking where I was and I guess the boys did not want to miss a little bit of "Poppa-time" today.

They are hilarious little boys. Right now they are dancing on our bed to the goofy songs by The Wiggles and behaving like crazed monkies. And don't even get me started on Grady's "Taggy Politics", the kid has a very elaborate system for deciding which taggy is the one he needs at any given moment.

Oh yeah, I had more weird and very vivid dreams again last night. For like the fifth night in a row.

I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet

We felt the effects of the 5.6 magnitude quake over near San Jose here in Watsonville tonight, about 25 miles away.

It was, far and away, the most powerful earthquake I've felt or been through. The Loma Prieta quake predated my move to California by a good six years. There are still signs of the damage from that quake that pretty much leveled a good portion of Santa Cruz and caused damage all up and down the central coast.

Tonight's quake was felt as a sustained and circular sort of shaking. It lasted about 15 seconds, long enough to get a little freaked out and grab the children.

Take a look at the incident map and that big square in the middle there? That's the first one and those little squares around it are aftershocks.

Makes me glad we've got a good supply of food, a decent supply of fresh water stored and we're all together. But I know there's more we can do to be prepared for when the next big, big one does hit. Because it isn't a question of "if" it is a question of when.

Mac Support Weirdness

First off, the new Imacs? They are freaking beautiful, elegant and kind of sexy for a computer. I'm not sure how I'd like keyboard over the long term but damn, the monitors are sweet, the little remote control is very nice and they are just a pretty excellent package all the way around.

Secondly, what the fuck is Voiceover? One of the machines in the lab had gotten inadvertently switched on with it and it was the most annoying, godawful thing ever. The same crappy synthesized voices we had back in the 80's? Awful. And annoying.

One thing I am learning as I take my first tentative steps into the world of a professional tech support monkey, is that people and kids in particular are really good at screwing up computers in ways I never would have thought possible.

So far though, I'm having a good time!

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I knew this day would come, I also knew that the moment I got a job, I'd start getting callbacks from other jobs. It is just how the world works.

But I'll take it anyway.

Yes, it is true. I am working again. I don't know for how long because I'm temping but that's alright, I like what I'm doing, they like me doing it and I'm the most likely candidate for the permanent position.

What am I doing, you ask? I'm the new chairman of FEMA! Woohoo! Just kidding. At least I know enough to not staff my press conferences with my staff members. Woops.

No, I'm a tech support/computer lab guy at a local elementary school. Its a good place with good folks and it happens to be an all Mac place too which works out nicely for me.

I'm sure it won't be all fun all the time but that's alright, its a great start, I like the place and its only a couple of miles from my house. Which is totally excellent as I'll be able to ride my bike to work again. And there's the whole access to computers all day everyday, that's sweet too.

There are also all the school holidays and summer vacation too! Once I've gone permanent then I get great benefits as well. All in all, I'm pretty darned happy about this turn of events!

What's Worse Than The Sight of Your Own Blood?

Any parent knows the answer to this one.

The sight of your children's blood is ten times or a hundred times worse than your own. With an injury to yourself, you can deal with the pain and move on. With an injury to your children, especially the little, little ones, they are much harder to deal with. Aside from the panic it can induce, they don't like to sit still and get cuts cleaned out and bandaged up and babies do not, at least mine do not, like having bandaids on them.

Yesterday afternoon, Sully pushed one of the chairs from the table to counter and cut his thumb on a knife. It probably did not help that he squeezed a lemon and got juice in the cut since that magnifies the pain by quite alot.

He was most unhappy and I was rather freaked out, at first, but we got a paper towel on his thumb and then got the Neosporin and bandaids together. It took a couple of tries before we got things situated properly and the poor little guy had tears down his cheeks. But we did get him patched up and better and, in about five minutes, he was laughing and playing again like nothing had happened.

And, about a half hour later, my hands stopped shaking.

And With That, World Champs Again

The Red Sox just completed the four game sweep of the Colorado Rockies to win their second World Series Championship in four years.

It looked close, it was a well fought game, they triumphed and that, as they say, is that.

Good action and well fought, Red Sox.

Right Message, Wrong Target and Wrong Delivery

Miss England told to fatten up before the Miss World competition (which, thankfully, isn't owned by Donald Trump). Now, take a look at the picture and tell me she's too thin. She looks to be in good shape, healthy and pretty darned pretty.

I appreciate the message that is attempting to be sent, that the waif thing, the size 0 model, is an unhealthy image and role model to aspire to. But Georgia Horsley isn't a size 0, she's a size 4 and looks as healthy as can be.

This message would be alot more effective if it were leveled at the scrawny runway models featured in those fashion shows. You know, the ones that have these women parading around in ridiculous looking outfits showing off their ribs and bony knees and calling it sexy and fashionable when nobody in their right or wrong mind would ever wear the stupid looking outfits.

The World Series

Okay, so I underestimated the power of the Rockies and underestimated how many games it would take the Red Sox to send the Indians packing.

I'd predicted a Diamondbacks versus Red Sox World Series but the D'Backs floundered and were handled easily by the Rockies. Wow, it seems like a long time ago now since that happened but its only been a little more than a week. Anyway, the D'Backs will be back next year, they're a good and talented team and this post season will only serve to improve them for next year.

Which sucks for my aged Giants but we'll see what they do in the off season now that Barry's salary is no longer holding them down. They had better get ALOT younger though, that's my one main gripe.

Anyway, back to the game and series that starts in an hour and change.

If Beckett pitches as he can then he's a lock for Game 1 and Game 4 or 5. If Dice K settles in and pitches like he can then the Red Sox take Game 3. Schilling has a lot of heart but not alot of gas left in his tank. I expect he'll scuffle and battle and he might just get pwned by the young and hot bats of the Rockies.

Matt Holliday is a major stud and swings a monstrous bat for high average and with superb power. But there are a bunch of players in the line up that are almost as dangerous. It should be a good series, that's for sure.

Now for the prediction.

I'm going with Red Sox in five but it'll probably end up being six. The Red Sox bats are hot now, the starting pitching is excellent and their bullpen is downright scary (though Gagne has been, ummmm, not very good is a nice way of putting it). If the Red Sox take Games 1 and 2 at home, it might be over sooner than expected.

At least the Yankees are all done so that makes us all winners!

[Update: Thursday night and the Red Sox took the first two games. If Dice K comes out dealing in Colorado then the Rockies will have a very tough time of it indeed. Schilling did, indeed, scuffle but ultimately kept his game together and the Red prevailed. But boy oh boy is Matt Holliday a stud or what?]

[Sunday Update: Well the Rockies showed some life last night after Dice K dealt like the superstar the Red Sox thought he could be and is. It was a good game and there were tense moments but, in the end, the Red Sox go up three games to none and things are not looking so good for the Rockies. Even if the Rockies win tonight, they face Beckett again and he has been truly phenomenal. Like Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis and Mike Lowell. Really the Red Sox have played like world champions and, barring an amazing resurgence and come back, they will be world champs again soon.]

How Long Has Saturday Night Live Totally Sucked?

Just a quick one before I go to sleep.

Saturday Night Live used to be funny, didn't it? It must have been better than it is now because it is completely unwatchable and horribly stupidly unfunny. It would be funnier if they had a roomful of coma patients farting in time to Britney Spears "Oops, I Did It Again".

It really and truly is terrible.

Not that MadTV is very much better. The Stuart character is stupid and awful and very tired.

But maybe I'm wrong and maybe Saturday Night Live is absolutely hilarious to 8 year olds. It for damned sure isn't funny to me.

The Ultimate Fighter: Season Six Review

I finally got a chance to watch this last week's episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Hughes vs. Serra. This week's fight was between goofy but tall Ben Saunders and burly but God-jabbering Dan Cabrera.

What I've concluded is that I pretty much dislike both coaches. Matt Serra because he's the protypical pudgy, loud New York/New Jersey-er. You can always tell one, you just can't tell him much.

And Matt Hughes? Well, first off, he's an asshole which is a bad place to start. Don't get me wrong, he's a fantastic fighter but that seems to work against him in this show's format. Aside from the first fight, his team has lost each fight. And he takes out those losses on his team. He thrashes on one of the fighters to "teach" them. He is divisive and then there was the whole Bible lesson earlier in the season and the team prayer crap.

Look, I don't fault people for their religious beliefs, believe what you like but keep your beliefs to yourself. Do not try to foist your beliefs on other people, do not assume your beliefs are superior and do not attempt to convert people. Follow those simple rules and we don't have a problem but Hughes has no problem trying to work in his belief systems.

In the last episode, Dan was prepping for his fight and going a little too balls out (he dropped a knee on a teammate's nuts while grappling) so Hughes stepped in and basically kicked his ass all over the mat. At some point, Dan's hand got squashed and it swelled up to nearly three times normal size but that's beside the point. Matt Hughes takes out his aggravation at losing matches on his fighters. And that makes him Captain Asshole in my book.

The fight itself was a pretty good one, bloody and dynamic. The first round clearly went to Dan, the second to Ben so I was looking forward to a third round to break the tie. But the judges didn't see it that way and Ben won the fight by taking both rounds. Even Dana White, the president of the UFC, said it was a horrible call and ended up giving each fighter $5000 to help compensate. I'd imagine those judges will never work in the UFC again, nor should they since they completely and utterly muffed the call.

This is kind of a lame season for me. I can't stand either coach and most of the fights have been below average. And there was the whole Joey bullshit early in the season, basically the guy lost the first fight and then wanted to quit and go home. Only he was Serra's pal and they drug out the process for weeks until everyone had finally had enough of his shit and he left.

Two more weeks of preliminary bouts including Tommy Speer who pounded on Ryan a few times. He's one of the better fighters since he's not fought yet so I'm looking forward to that. And I'm looking forward to Serra and Hughes beating the hell out of each other in the finale. I expect Hughes will win but you never know.

Gut Punched

Today was supposed to be a Good Friday for us. I'd interviewed really well earlier this week and knew I was the strongest candidate for the position. Its with a company I'd love to work with as they are a total world leader in the sports field.

And I got the call a little while ago to let me know that I did not get the job. Nor did the other candidates. Someone who'd had the position before popped up out of nowhere and said "Hi, I'm available again" and got hired back. For my goddamned job!

Of course there is a little bit of silver lining. The woman I interviewed with was sufficiently impressed with me to tell the HR contact to find me a job with the company. And that's nice and all but I cannot afford to wait around, I need to be working last week, not next week or next month.

It isn't the only hot lead I had going but it was the most exciting and a job I could have really embraced and made my own.

So it is back to the job boards and the application process. I have another interview this afternoon, totally different job but something I'd also like to do.

Its really hard not to get down about these repeat disappointments but a depressed job candidate might as well show up drunk and naked since neither gets the job and being drunk and naked is at least fun.

Damn it all!

Why Is Sex Such a Taboo?

Vietnam is having Paris Hilton moment which is actually not true at all since the star of the sex video in this case was already a celebrity. And, instead of launching a career, it has ended hers. And Hoang Thuy Linh is actually very pretty and not the result of years of plastic surgery and millions of dollars in carefully planned publicity.

But still, why is there this awful taboo against sex? Every single person on the planet has it or wants it, what is the big friggin' deal (pun intended)?

How warped is our value system that violence is broadcast on every news channel all day every day but sex is hidden away and treated like the dirtiest thing ever?

Can't We All Just Get Along?

This was taken the other morning at a local park. The morning dew was heavily condensed on the green plastic slide and the sun was just starting to peek over the top of the slide which made for the dramatic and rather pretty picture here.

Looking at the picture, it gets me to thinking about harmony, about big and small and about how external forces are always acting on us all.

Water droplets get along no matter their size. Well, actually, the bigger drops gobble up the little drops and they become a part of the greater whole. That is, until they become so big that gravity takes hold of them, overpowers their grip on the incline of the slide and the whole kit and caboodle comes rushing down to the larger pool at the bottom.

And, eventually, the sun gets high enough to cook off that pool at the bottom which releases the water back into invisible droplets to waft into the breeze to start the cycle again.

We're all part of a greater whole, we're all controlled by forces outside of our control, we're all in this thing together and it is important to remember this basic fact of existence. No man (or woman) is an island unto themselves, just like no water droplet or combined hydrogen molecules with an oxygen molecule can exist alone for long. We all need one another.

I didn't really have a great big elaborate point to make aside from that. It would be nice if people realized it more often. Being good to others is being good to oneself.

Big Week

I expect that this week will be a big one. I have an excellent interview lined up for tomorrow morning and a line on a couple of other positions that I would be equally excited and happy to get.

I refuse to jinx myself by saying anything more. But I'm doing my research, learning about the company and their competitive space.

The one thing that bums me out is that I'm fighting a bit of a cold that Grady had last week. My first in a very long time, its amazing how much healthier I got when I wasn't working in an office all the time. Especially my last office with its poor ventilation.

But I'm making sure to get my rest, drink my fluids and prep as best I can for tomorrow morning. If you want to, send some good interview vibes my way. And, on that note, I'm back to my study sheets and notes.

[Update: The interview went really well, I had a solid and friendly rapport with the woman I interviewed with. Which was really nice as she would be my direct supervisor. The company is far larger than I thought and has its hands in an amazing variety of sports related fields. She had a couple of other interviews scheduled this week but will be making her decision by the end of the week as she'll be gone next week for a well deserved vacation. Keep those fingers crossed, folks, this might be my ticket out of Unemploymentland!]

Go, Go Magic Red Sox Baby Socks!

Courtney over at the Midvale School has requested that everyone in and of the Red Sox Nation get their faith hats on and give the Red Sox the extra push they needed to force a game 7 in the ALCS.

We went a step further and broke out the fabled and powerful Red Sox Baby Socks that propelled the team to winning the World Series a couple of years ago. Then it was Grady's turn to don the socks and turn the tables.

This time around it is Sullivan's turn to use the magic. And boy, oh boy did it work last night! The completely annihilated the Indians and brought the series back to even at three apiece.

You can bet those socks will be in effect tonight for the series finale.

[Update: I had merely pulled the magic socks out and they were doing a fine job. But I wanted to make sure the Red Sox sent the Indians packing. So, in the 7th inning, I put them on Sullivan and then Ellsbury got on via the error on literally the next pitch and then Pedroia hit the two run jack. He's sleeping in his bed with them on now and the Red Sox are starting to make it ugly! Woohoo, go magic socks! That is now eight (8) runs since the magic socks got put on!]

Some Parenting Tips

After letting my brother in law know a couple of my tricks and tips for making life with kids and their toys more bearable, I thought it made sense to repost some of the advice here for great consumption.

First off, I want it noted that I think toy manufacturers should be required to include mute and/or off switches. The fact that I've got toys that can't be turned off and are loud is just stupid. Actually, we either modify or get rid of overloud toys.

Which brings me to my first tip.
1. For a kid's toy that is just crazy loud/annoying and there's no volume control, you can put tape over the speaker and it'll mute it substantially. In worst case scenarios, I've even used silicon goo to fill the holes or slats in on the speaker.

2. Did you know that you can use regular food coloring drops in the bathtub? Add ten drops of blue and watch how jazzed up your toddler will get. Unless you've already been using those tablets and then the parents will be jazzed up when they realize they're not dropping $3 on each of those little cans of fizzing color tabs. One note, the drops of color will stain while suspended in foamy bubbles. But it also looks really neat too.

3. Changing diapers is not fun but it must be done. A really good idea is to use the clean diaper as a diaper pad under the kid. That way, if he takes, as we like to say, makes some mud during a change, you're covered. That is, you're not covered in baby mud, the second diaper is there is protect you.

4. Pizza cutters (the wheel with a handle kind) are your friends. They are really useful for safely slicing up lots and lots of stuff in the kitchen and not having to worry (so much) about your toddler getting a hold of it and causing himself damage.

I'm sure I've got more that I don't even think of as tips but I'll start working on the next installment.

Sexual Deviants Posing as Teachers In Our Schools

Sexual Misconduct Plagues US Schools

One report mandated by Congress estimated that as many as 4.5 million students, out of roughly 50 million in American schools, are subject to sexual misconduct by an employee of a school sometime between kindergarten and 12th grade. That figure includes verbal harassment that's sexual in nature.

These are people who are hired to care for, instruct and educate our children but are instead groping, molesting and even raping them. And when they are accused by their victims, the victims are, more often than not, called liars and the charges dismissed.

In case after case the AP examined, accusations of inappropriate behavior were dismissed. One girl in Mansfield, Ohio, complained about a sexual assault by teacher Donald Coots and got expelled. It was only when a second girl, years later, brought a similar complaint against the same teacher that he was punished.

And that second girl also was ostracized by the school community and ultimately left town.

This is a system that excuses criminal sexual misconduct and allows it to continue unchecked. Do you know what sexual misconduct can do to a child? Neither do I but I don't expect it makes them better in any way.

And the schools don't want to embarrass themselves (or open themselves up to massive lawsuits) so they don't open investigations and the molesting teacher is allowed to leave quietly with their teaching license so they can go teach and molest more children somewhere else.

The article is scary, awful and makes me want to perform personal background checks on each of my children's teachers.

Luckily, in this day of the internets and high speed information transmission and blogs, teachers who grope are less and less likely to get away with it. But how many kid's lives are turned upside down by sick bastards (9 of 10 educational molesters are men) getting their sick rocks off by ruining our children.

I'm pretty thoroughly disgusted by all of this. And fearful for my own children as they start to enter the educational system.

Heroine, Thy Name is Mona Shaw

Who hasn't fantasized about getting some violent payback for incredibly crappy service? You know, when you're on hold and they never ever pick up and deal with you so you have to call back and start all over again? Or worse, you go in to meet with someone and they make you wait for a couple of hours before you are informed that the person has left for the day?

Well, Mona Shaw got mad as hell and decided not to take it anymore. So she took a hammer to the Comcast (boooooo!) offices that had treated her so poorly.

This was among the most enjoyable articles I've read in a long time, Taking a Whack Against Comcast.

A year of probation, a $350 fine and a warning to not go back to the office? I'd take that "punishment" if I could exact some retribution on crappy customer service I've gotten.

Class Meets with Yankees' Brass Asses

Torre: Yanks' Contract Offer Was Insult

Gee, what a surprise, the Yankees consider this season a failure and blame it on Joe Torre instead of his pampered overpaid athletes. So they make a limp offer to him for a one year deal that everyone in the room knows is an insult.

And Torre refused to play ball and stood by his principles and turned his back on the organization. I wish I could say I feel sorry for whoever has to follow in his shoes as they will undoubtedly suffer the media scrutiny and the rabid fan base's win-now-or-else mentality.

I hope they have a fire sale too and let go of most of their studs. But I bet they go and sign more and more thinking that more money automatically equals a world championship. But baseball doesn't work that way. Otherwise the largest payroll would always win and the sport would wither and die.

More power to Torre and I'm actually glad he's gone from the Yankees and I can be free to admire him. Because I hate the Yankees organization and all that they stand for. They way the treated Joe Torre just confirms that deep seated hatred.

And their loss is another team's gain. I hope he gets on with another American League team and completely schools the Wankees everytime they meet.

Updated Photography Site

I finally got around to updating and adding a whole bunch of new photos to CarpeVivo, my professional photography site.

Most of the new photos were added to the Children's portraits pages but I'm pretty sure I added at least a couple of new ones to each of the pages as well.

Anniversary

Six years ago today
My father lost his fight
The cancer got him
But he'd won ten extra years

Six years ago today
My role model passed on
But left behind
More than footprints on a beach

Six years ago today
I lost my dad
And part of me has felt
Like a ship without a rudder ever since

Obscured Pay-for-Services

As you might guess, I've been spending quite a ridiculous amount of time on job sites looking for a good job or even a mediocre job.

Part of that process is taking advantage of all the resources each site has to offer.

I've stopped using Monster.com because of their security issues and their lack of being completely forthright with their users when they did realize that they'd been breached. Which is two big and nasty strikes. These days, that's one too many and they handled it badly. Oh yeah, the huge splash page to sign up for Phoenix University or some other school upon signin was really annoying too. So Monster had to go.

I've been trying to use CareerBuilder with limited success. They do not seem to understand that 25 miles means 25 miles, not 40 or 50 or 60 in some cases. A fifty mile commute here means close to two hours each way and that is just going to happen. But I still try to use the site and was reading my email this morning and they said something about a service called ResumeDirect.

The idea is that they've got access to jobs that aren't even being advertised and will feed those HR Managers your resume to get you in the door more quickly. There are some flaws with the logic but I thought "What the hell" and gave it a try. After getting nearly all of my info loaded in, including a rather stupid idea of a generic cover letter (which is like a flashing neon sign saying DELETE ME to a hiring manager) then they take me to the checkout.

And at the checkout they want to bill me more than a hundred bucks for the service. At no other time during the process was a cost mentioned, nor that the costs would be higher for selecting multiple industries. My immediate response was to close the window and go back to my regular (read that, free) job searching.

Why do companies think it is sensible to hit you with the costs after the groundwork is done? It just pisses me off and could have saved me the time by making it very clear up front that this was a pay-for service.

The result of which is that I no longer trust or want to make use of the site because I feel like they are going to be trying to weasel money out of me.

The same sort of thing for Guru.com. I logged in last night for the first time in months and came across several projects I could definitely do. But when I clicked through them I found out that I could read the projects but not bid on them unless I upgraded my account to a paid account. Which, as you might guess, is not going to happen and I will very likely never even try to use Guru again.

I understand these companies aren't charities and they need to beef up their bottom lines but they charge to post the jobs and should not be obfuscating their costly add-ons by putting the money stuff after the work of entering the information.

And, because I hate having nothing but negativity in my posts these days, I'll wrap up by saying I've got an extremely promising interview being schedule for this coming Monday. Its with a great and stable company in the bike industry and I would love to get on board with them.

Shout Out for Tasty Goodness in Bar Form

We've been buying Lara Bars from CostCo for the last year or so and I thought it would be apropos to balance out the recent weight-centric posts with something positive.

These bars are awesome, good for you and made of basic (read that, easy to pronounce) ingredients. My favorite is the Apple Pie bar, its got six ingredients: dates, almonds, unsweetened apples, walnuts, raisins and cinnamon. That's it. For that you get 180 calories, 90 from fat (from the nuts which is good fat), 5 mg sodium, 23 g carbs with 4 g fiber and 17 g sugars and 4 grams of protein. There's even a gram of Omega-3 fatty acids and 4 grams of Omega-6 fatty acids. No gluten, no dairy and no soy.

They are satisfying, very tasty and I can't recommend them enough.

I don't know why the company site is secure https since its just a flash site but that's alright (though I wish they'd offer an html option as the site feels, um, pokey). I do want to try the Key Lime, Cinnamon Rool and Banana Cookie but CostCo only has the three variety pack with Apple Pie, Cherry Pie and Lemon. Maybe Trader Joe's will carry them so I can try the whole line.

They've also got bars called Jocolat but we haven't tried those yet. I'd imagine they're pretty good too.

Sweet Land of Gluttony

Inspired by that awful commercial I saw last night. (Note, this is just a lark and not meant to injure anyone's feelings).

Sung to the tune of America (My Country Tis of Thee)

My country, tis of thee
Sweet land of gluttony, of thee I cringe
Land of the super sized
Land of the gluttonized
From every tableside let's go and binge

My fattened country, thee
Land of obesity, thy fries I love
I eat thy buffet meals
Fast foods and special deals
My heart with cholesterol, like that above

Let our fat grow with ease
And jiggle down to our knees, sweet fatty's song;
Let mortality take
Let all that lardass shake
Let farts their silence break, that sound so wrong

Our waistband's growth, to thee
Sweet land of obesity, to thee we bring
Long may our belts get tight
With our fork's holy might
Send us a large pizza with everything.

Bush Bleats About Relevance

Bush Says He Is Relevant

And he can assert that relevance in pretty much one wway now, by vetoing legislation pushed by the Democrats.

Which isn't to say he's relevant so much as a door stop set too close to the door. I hope it hits him hard on his way out.

Delivering the Email Smackdown

I don't particularly enjoy being an asshole, which isn't to say that I'm not really, really good at it, I just don't like being one. But there are times when you kind of have to stand by the line in the sand and prepare to be an asshole when that lines gets crossed, especially by people that are supposed to be servicing you.

After having made multiple request for contact by email only and then still getting monthly phone calls to my house and to my cell, I had had enough and pretty much ripped this person a fresh one, politely but ripped nonetheless.

She's a contact person through my insurance company to help us smoothly transition into a new house, when we're ready to buy which we definitely are not. I understand she needs to keep her i's dotted and her t's crossed and that isn't my problem. My problem is that I asked her on at least three occasions to refrain from calling me and to use email as a contact.

The reason for this is because her voice drives me up the friggin' wall. Do you remember the school secretary in Ferris Bueller? She has the same intonation and comes off as incredibly condescending even though I'm convinced she doesn't intend to. But speaking with her is just an aggravation and I refuse to answer her calls.

And so, after getting a call on my cell and then coming home to find another message on my home phone, I fired off a pretty aggravated email to her demanding that she not call again. I didn't curse, I didn't attack her directly but I did make it very clear that it was absolutely unacceptable for her to continue contacting me in a manner I have specifically requested she not use.

She wrote back this morning to notify me that she was inactivating our account, as per my request, but there was no apology for the unwanted contacts. I think, when the time comes for us to move, I'll be requesting another account manager to handle the transaction for us. Life is too short to have to deal with people who are the human equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard. And I've got too much aggravation in the rest of my life to put up with her.

Nauseating Gluttony as Sport

Spike TV is running ads featuring people competing in eating competitions under the name Major League Eating, and yes, there is a site but I'll be damned if I'm linking it here.

The ads are grotesque montages of food being speed stuffed into mouths and tables of people all jamming food into their mouths as fast as they can. The voice over announces that these are "gastric athletes" which is an affront to real athletes and just a sick thought all by itself.

And it was thoroughly nauseating to see. To say I have zero interest in this is extreme understatement.

Speed gluttony is not a sport. Speed gluttons are not athletes. And you can bet that I will have nothing to do with this mockery of athleticism.

Lessons from the Cat

I almost forgot to post this from last night. We've been having a minor mouse problem in the house and the cat has started to step up her hunting to compensate, or something.

So she's been pawing at the cabinets in order to get in and see if she can catch one. I let her into the cabinet that has our appliances and then forgot she was in there.

A few minutes lter she decided she wanted out and didn't feel like waiting for us to open the door (all the cabinets have safety latches on them to keep the little boys out).

Instead of making noise to get our attention she took the bull by the horns and got herself out, almost. The drawer above the appliances is where we keep our silverware and it was open a few inches. She figured it was enough and worked her way up and into the drawer.

And got herself good and stuck. Imagine my surprise when I saw her head poking out from among the spoons! With a little extra help, she extricated herself and got out.

The lesson I learned is: Where there is a will, there is a way.

Exclusion

One of my ex-roommates got married this last weekend. I've known her and her family since I first came to Santa Cruz in 1995. Her older brother has been my longest and one of my most loyal friends.

But I haven't spent very much time with her for the last couple of years. I've got kids, she's a dancer and lives a very different life.

I did not get an invitation to the wedding and I have to say that I'm feeling disappointed and excluded. And wrongly excluded. But I understand a little bit about wedding politics and trying to contain the ever-swelling crowds that can descend on them and overtax them.

But there's a chasm between understanding and being okay with it. I feel overlooked and am pretty sad about the whole thing.

I don't know what I'll do the next time I do see her but I feel like I've lost a friend and have now strained relations with her family. I'm sure she didn't intentionally snub me, or at least I'd like to think she didn't intentionally snub me and my family. But there's really no way of telling since it is the height of poor taste to call her on it.

So I'll likely just let it go until I do see her again and then I don't know what I'll do.

But it does make me feel even more disconnected from my social circle back up in Santa Cruz. I am sooo ready to get out of Watsonville, you have absolutely no idea.

Dumbass Busted Job Sites

So I was applying for yet another job this morning. The site set off alarm bells pretty early on and they just got louder and louder until the stupid thing just stopped functioning.

One, they required the use of Internet Explorer. That's incredibly stupid and annoying. The world does not use one browser and building your site for just one tells me that you're lazy.

Two, the Home and About Us "links" weren't links, they were static text on the page.

Three, a total lack of contact information on the site.

Four, even when I did use IE (on my wife's computer as I refuse to keep that shit browser on my machine) the site still stopped working properly and there was no way to tell them or let them know.

So, yeah, Impact Resource Group. The "impact" you made on me is that you're a lame company who did just barely enough to get the site set up and, theoretically, running.

Sometimes The Awfulness in the World is Overwhelming

This may seem stupid but I'm pretty much beyond caring about that sort of thing anymore. I'll act like a total idiot in public if I need to in order to make my boys laugh or to get them in the car or out of the car or to distract them from screaming or whatever.

I was watching CSI last night, the Las Vegas original not that lame ass David Caruso version, and the episode centered around a small child found dead in a box in the garbage. He'd been beaten repeatedly and neglected and had eventually starved to death.

Yes, its just a tv show but the news is full of cases quite alot like this. The Richmond mother who watched her boyfriend beat her son to death and then drove to Arizona with the body to try and not get caught and punished for it. The Bay Area mom who systematically tortured and abused her son until he eventually died in her care. Ther Berkeley mother who poisoned and suffocated her nine year old son.

And I don't know why, I've known about these despicable acts for most of my life. One of the side effects of growing up with a pediatric social worker mom. I've heard and seen things that people did to their children that would turn your stomach. I know there is evil in the world, I know people do horrible things to each other, to their children and to their animals. Usually I am able to keep that ugliness from really affecting me but last nigh the show really got me. It made me want to cry and I had a very hard time getting to sleep.

There's no way for me to control what happens in the rest of the world, there is only my tiny world where I have my two boys, my wife and my house. And all I can do is try to make this world the best place it can be. Really, its all any of us can do.

We have a choice each and every day, do good or do evil. For all humanity's sake, I'd appreciate it if you chose good.

Blown Out

This has been a very, very painful fantasy sports weekend for yours truly.

In the two hockey leagues I play, I got crushed, one opponent blanked me out entirely.

In the four football leagues I play, I got destroyed. One team had a chance going into tonight's game but got blowed right out of the water in short order. Each of the teams I played against had at least one player who had their career day today. In one league it was Adrian Petersen and Maurice Jones-Drew. In another it was Ladanian and Tony Gonzalez.

It was painful and ugly. And then I got blowed right out of the football pool too. A pretty pisspoor showing all the way around. I'll be hoping this next week sees me with some better luck as I'd happily take a beating in the fantasy leagues for the rest of the season if I can get a job offer this week.

Eff You and Your Visa Debit/Check Card Guilt Too

Have you seen Visa's commercials lately, where people are all lined up and commerce is running smoothly since everyone is paying with their Visa debit/check until someone cocks it all up by having the audacity to want to pay with, shock, cash.

And everyone around him or her gives him angry looks and the cashier is like "You're a total loser, dood".

The premise being that your life will be better by just using your card to pay with and Visa gets their cut of the transaction, of course.

Only thing is, aren't merchants supposed to be checking ID's with these cards and, you know, verifying that the person wielding is the right person. Notwithstanding the affront to decency that is trying to guilt people into using their stupid ass product and trying to demonize cold hard cash as being slow and inefficient.

It is almost as annoying as the Hummer commercials that try to get buyers by showing how cool their children will be perceived. Hummers are oversized gas-guzzling crapwagons for losers who need to compensate for their tiny egos and, likely, cocks.

Annoying, peer pressure marketing is lame, lazy and limp. Do not succumb!

OJ Takes a Step Closer to Incarceration

Co-Defendant Makes Plea Deal In O.J. Simpson Case and will testify that guns were, in fact, involved in the strong arm robbery of what used to be OJ's sports memorabilia but not legally belongs to the family of Ron Goldman, the man he murdered with his ex-wife.

And yeah, count me in the camp that sees this is an opportunity to make OJ pay for all of his crimes, including the double murder. He wouldn't be in this situation if he'd pursued "his" belongings through legal channels. But he didn't, he broke the law in a really, really stupid way, involved guns and kidnapping and that is his own stupid ass fault.

Rot in Peace, Juice.

I've Got A Place To Shove Your Convenience Fee

Who came up with the "convenience fee"? And how in the hell do they get away with charging one?

It isn't a convenience to get an additional charge automatically stacked on to my order for absolutely no reason and that provides absolutely no value to me. It is just a way of pretending their prices are lower than they really are.

When we went to the county fair a few weeks ago, there was a coupon to buy the tickets online and save a buck. But then they went and added a dollar to the cost and called it, you guessed it, a convenience fee. So convenient for me to pay to print my own ticket and pay the regular full price for the ticket. Woop-de-fucking-do!

Whenever I hear the words "convenience fee" my brain automatically translates it to "Fuck You and Pay Us More Money for Nothing Fee".

Battlin'

Many years ago now, when I used to live in South Africa, I had a motorcycle mechanic that I'd been introduced to. He was an ancient little guy with a pretty quick wit (and, unfortunately, a bad prescription).

Everytime I'd speak to him, on the phone or in person and I'd ask him how he was, his stock response was, "Battlin'". Which I took to mean that he wasn't done fighting yet and he had some spark left in him and stand back. I liked him quite a bit even though I pretty much had to have him redo every repair he did for me.

But that's another story for another time.

The point here is that I am Battlin' these days, I'm Battlin' hard and doing everything I can to keep fighting and trying. But even though I am doing just about everything I can to get a new job, it isn't happening fast enough. No matter how many customized resumes and well written cover letters I write, the process is still too slow.

And being without a job means, obviously, that I need one (unless that damned lottery hit for me). But the more places I talk to, he more people I contact, the slower things seem to go. It is extremely frustrating.

I maintain my positive attitude because I know that something good will happen. But it does get more and more difficult. Something has to give, I just hope it isn't me.

Dude, This is Pretty F*cked Up Right Here

Words don't often fail but.....

Body was struck by cars for an hour during morning commute on I-880

My WTF meter exploded, I replaced it with a sweet titanium one and that one exploded too.

[Update: He was hitchhiking and "stole" a ride by grabbing a handle on the back of a truck. He couldn't hold on and fell to his death and mess. Six lanes and 1000 feet of remains across the road. How awful.]

Avoiding the "Made in China" Label

Another week, another recall of poisonous Chinese toys with lead paint on them. And we happen to have some in this round as well, the Baby Einstein Learning Blocks.

We've decided to avoid pretty much all toys that carry the mark of the beast, "Made in China". The conspiracy theorist in me thinks this is calculated and intentional. By stupidifying and poisoning the next generation, China becomes THAT much more powerful.

Either way, I'm going to actively avoid purchasing toys made in china. It probably won't be too easy to do but I will try.

On a micro note, I successfully educated my mother-in-law about the harm Wal-Mart inflicts on the US. I don't think she's stopping shopping there for now but her eyes have been opened a little bit.

1 - 2 - 3 Awwwwww!

Babies Taste Good

One of many, many precious moments from the puppy invasion the other day. Our neighbor's nephew brought over his four pit bull puppies to see if he could pawn a couple off on some of us.

We successfully resisted the urge to buy up one of these adorable little dogs but our neighbors were unable to resist and got not one but two of them. Which is fine by me, more dogs is more better and now we've got five dogs in three houses.

Plenty of really great shots from the afternoon playing with them. This one ranks as one of the best, for sure. And you can't even tell that Sully is a drooling machine these days (teething seems to do that).
Here are a couple more pics with some others to follow.

Today's New Word - Sulliva

Sulliva - the name for the waterfall of drool emanating from Sullivan's, my baby boy, teething mouth.

Playoffs

[Update 10/9/07 8:10 am: And the Yankees are sent packing by the Indians. This is going to be an interesting AL and NL Championship series.

And I think Joe Torre has been treated like crap by Steinbrenner, who's a colossal jackass.

I think I'll start a new thread for the Championship series as this one is getting a wee bit long in the teeth now.]

[Update 10/7/07 8:00 pm: Of course the Yankees would have to go and ruin Sweep Sunday, the grand finale to Sweep Weekend by winning game three against the Indians. Of course, the Red Sox did their business and put the whimpering Angels down.

Oh well, I guess the Yankees will just go down tomorrow. I wonder if they have to now win every game through to the World Series or Torre will get canned? What great working conditions!]

[Update 10/6/07 9:56 pm: The Rockies just finished Sweep Saturday after the Diamondbacks knocked the Cubs out of the playoffs earlier today. The Phillies and Cubs get to go home. And we've got an all NL West Championship matchup.

Keep your fingers crossed for Sweep Sunday to send the Indians and Red Sox into battle and the Yanks and Angels home.]

[Update 10/4/07 8:26 pm: I should note that my predictions above are not indicative of what I'd like to see happen so much as what I think will happen. What I'd like to see is the Yankees lose in three (down 1-0 to the Indians now) and go home crying and throw A-Rod to the Giants. But I don't think it'll happen. Anyway, the Rockies are staying on target against the Phillies (erroneously posted originally as the Padres, woops), the Yanks got crushed and the Cubs are currently down. Oh yeah, Byrnes hit a triple in the second.

I think I'm going to just update this post as the playoffs continue.]

Original post 10/4/07 12:06 am
I thought I'd saved these but they've now gone missing so oh well.

Here are my predictions for the 2007 baseball playoffs.

Red Sox over Angels in four. Yankees over Indians in three. Diamondbacks over Cubs in four. Rockies over Phillies in three.
Red Sox over Yanks in five. D'Backs over Rockies in five.
Red Sox over D'Backs in six.

But I could be wrong. If Byrnes' bat wakes up then watchout for the D'Backs to really catch fire.

Got a different outcome in mind? Break it down for me.

Orgasm 2.0

So Who Wants to F*** A Robot reports on the news in the wired sex universe. Which, according to the article, includes geeks with dildos attached to Versasaws and automatic tongues on robots.

Click through at your own risk as the pictures and text are not work safe.

But I can definitely say that the red haired geek in the second pic is not invited to the party, can you say Creepy? I thought you could.

A Dreadfully Depressing Rumor

Over the weekend I was chatting with my neighbor and he mentioned a possibility that was like getting kicked in the balls.

There's a chance the asshole neighbors are moving back in.

Yes, the same dipshits who can't park in their own driveway and routinely block one of my cars in.

Yes, the same dipshits who demonstrate an appalling lack of regard for anyone but themselves.

Yes, the same dipshits who had an egg throwing fight in my driveway (egg whites, for those who don't know, etches itself into car paint and permanently damages it).

Yes, the same dipshits who were such thorough assholes to the daughter in the family that she moved out and sued her father for support.

Yes, the same dipshits that are all smiles and niceness to my face but complete and utter fucktards when you're not around (I know this because I've been in my garage with the door closed and overheard their gutter talk).

Yes, those dipshits. If the rumor proves true then I will be working extremely hard to get my family out of this house and well away from them. They are not people I have any interest in socializing with or sharing a driveway with or having absolutely anything to do with at all.

Please, please, please let this rumor turn out to be nothing but that. The reality would suck far too much to have to deal with.

New Word Monday!

It has been a little while since I've rolled out some new words. And, truth be told, I haven't been coming up with them at anywhere near the pace I was before. But they still come up nonetheless. Here are a few for today.

Desktitute - the office bike or a destitute desk or cube farm, likely after a big layoff.

Feedership - the audience that reads your blog via RSS or Atom feed.

That's all for now, more in the hopper, of course.

Marion Jones: Cheater and Fraud

Marion Jones Admits Doping for 2000 Olympics and Olympic winner Marion Jones now loser after doping plea

Which, effectively, deletes her life in professional sports. She's an admitted cheater, she should lose her medals, lose her endorsements and be subject to lawsuits for fraud. Oh yeah, and all of her race results should be voided.

I watched her admission, apology and retirement and felt some pangs of sympathy for her as she basically came as clean as she could. And then I remembered that she was one of the loudest deniers of steroid use back when it was alleged, she swore up and down that she was clean, she profited wildly from her lies and fraud and then any sympathy I had for her is gone.

The worst part isn't the fact that she cheated and won, well maybe it is, but it is intensified by her loud and vociferous denials. Her public outrage at being accused even! And now we learn the truth that she was just another cheater all the time.

I hope the winners who got cheated out of their medals in 2000 sue her for damages and lost opportunities. I hope her life becomes a cautionary tale of what not to do. I hope someone somewhere, who's wavering on the fence about doping to win, sees her personal agony and public humiliation and says no to the needle and the cream. And just tries harder.

History will not and should not be kind to Marion Jones and her deceit.

Why I Hate the Olympics

Three simple little words explain why I hate the Olympics, they are: The Dream Team.

There is absolutely no argument that I've heard or read that justifies the use of professional basketball players in a what is billed as an amateur sports competition.

None.

These are professional players who make millions and millions of dollars playing basketball. How, by any stretch of logic, could they be considered amateur? I think its an insult to the spirit of the games that we send pros to play against amateurs. I think its an insult to the spirit of competition and, as a result, my overall interest level in the Olympics registers just above bass fishing competitions. And that's unfair to the other athletes who are truly amateur, who have truly focused their lives on getting to the Olympics and who deserve admiration and respect for their hard work.

For the professional basketball player, its a break from the normal schedule, its another tournament with a new team, its not the culmination of their life's focus, its just another set of games. It diminishes the competition for everyone by having professionals, and easily identifiable and known professionals, playing against amateurs.

I'm sure my point of view isn't helped that I dislike basketball as a sport. But I'd feel the same way if the Olympic Baseball Team was comprised of All-Stars from the MLB. What's the point of an amateur competition when all the players aren't amateurs?

And it isn't like there aren't an absolute legion of college players that could play. There are millions of players to draw from who are also getting shorted of an opportunity to play at the Olympics. So that a bunch of pros can take their spots. How lame.

If the Olympics can return to a truly amateur competition then I'll be alot more likely to pay attention, embrace and enjoy it. But until then, it'll be background noise every couple of years. I like the Winter Olympics though, except for the figure skating which I find tedious to watch. And, so far as I know, there aren't teams being fielded of all professional multimillionaire athletes.

If a professional basketball player wants to go to the Olympics, let him buy a ticket or qualify in another sport. Otherwise, he's just taking a big old ego-sized dump on the games and the spirit they were founded upon.

It Never Fails

Children have a sixth sense about these things, early morning events and such. They sense change and react to pre-empt that change or something.

All I know is that I had a 6:45 wake up set and not one but both boys woke up early. And Sully woke up rather screechy and unhappy.

And the day is already underway and I've yet to shake the cobwebs loose. But there's coffee ready so I'm going to head down, get my brain clear and head off for my day of testing.

PS. Its really cold here this morning so that probably didn't help them sleep in too much.

Testing 1, 2, 4

Oh boy, I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning. At good ol' 8 am I'll be settling into a school desk to take the CBEST, California Basic Education Skills Test. A four hour tour de force of high school math, english and essays to qualify to substitute teach or some other education related work. I'm not worried about the test itself, the practice test was pretty straight forward, its just a long ass testing period!

And then we've got a wedding to go to in the afternoon, that'll be fun but I bet I'll be alot more tired tomorrow night at this time than I am now, and I'm pretty well exhausted right now.

By the way, pretty amazed that the Yanks are down two games to none versus the Indians. And pretty happy that the Red Sox are up!

The Harvest is Upon Us

We wanted to go apple picking today but the last apples were locally picked on the 23rd of September. So we did the next best thing and went out to the pumpkin patch and walked through the corn maze.

Note to future corn maze walkers, don't take a stroller, not even a rugged three wheel jog stroller, and wear decent shoes or expect to turn your ankle.

Also, the wind was ripping it up something crazy! And I got to do some more color accent photography so that was cool! Here's another accent shot that I really like alot.

Ex-Celeb Drops Reality TV Wanker Supreme

Danny Bonaduce Under Investigation After Awards Fight in which he pounded the snot out of the paradoxically named Jonny Fairplay, a guy who's sole claim to fame is lying about his not-dead grandmother to garner false sympathy.

And, strangely enough, he parlayed that into a career. Enough of one that Danny Bonaduce, of Partridge Family fame, wanted to pound him.

Good. I wouldn't mind kicking him in the nuts once or twice myself.

[Update: Here's the video of the event, not a fight, Fairplay jumped up on him, Bonaduce tossed him over his shoulder, Fairplay impacts floor with face. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving asshat.]

I'M SLEEPING!

Years ago, before I'd been blursed (that's blessed and cursed) with children of my own, I could only observe. And one of the funniest observations was my nephew, Andrew, being taken to go lay down for a nap that he absolutely did not want to take.

And he started screaming up a storm. At one point, he screamed at the top of his lungs, "I'M SLEEPING!"

And that was with just one little boy. My sister had another boy and I had two boys. Just now they were "laying down" for naps. The laying down consisted of jumping up and down and bashing the crib against the wall by shaking it, and delirious laughter, of course. Then they tried to outdo each other with squealing as loud as they could. And then it got really quiet.

Its the sudden quiet that makes me concerned. I took a peek and they were fine, just actually laying down and getting ready to fall asleep. But, of course, since I opened the door, they are back up and yapping and playing again.

I like when they play together but I really it when they nap at the same time.

'Bout Friggin' Time

You know the best part about paying for something? Aside from it working properly, I mean?

Being able to legitimately complain when they cheese the whole service up. Like, oh I don't know, my hosting service.

I couldn't post to IP this morning and then realized I couldn't get to the website at all, not even through a proxy server. Hard to tell if anyone else noticed.

Which meant that it wasn't on my end. So I go to my service company and try to find a status page to find out what's going on. They do not appear to have one so I head on over to the live support forum and sign up to chat with someone.

And he tells me that they are having trouble, my site will be back up in an hour. That was, oh, almost 12 hours ago. I bet they've had a long day over there at EHostPros tech support.

Anyway, we're back, for now. Which is good because I've got stuff to complain about! Not the weather though, wowee what a nice day it was here!

Stupid Lost Servers

So there's some kind of something going on with my server this morning as I cannot get access to my own blog, again. Rather annoying.

We'll see if I can post to it.

Just Like the Movies, Only Trashier

SFGate: Daily Dish : Pam Anderson Gets Marriage License

How trashy? One, she's talking about Rick Solomon, the infamous dink in Paris' career launching and notoriously limp sex tape. Two, she sold herself for sex, sure, it was $250K but that just makes her a high priced call girl. Hell, Demi made a million in that movie with Redford, why'd she go so cheap?

Here's the moneyshot quote, "It worked out, I liked it...I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors and fell in love. It's so romantic."

Romantic? Being a hooker is romantic? That's a twist.

But hey, at least we've already seen everyone's sex parts, right? That's gotta count for something. I don't know what but it counts for something.

Why Spam Now?

Had you noticed how little spam there was lately? I was down to maybe two messages a day in my Yahoo and Gmail in-boxes.

And then, over the last couple of days, the volume has climbed back up. Twenty-five in Yahoo, 16 in Gmail and its not even 7:30 yet.

I guess the spammers were on summer vacation or something.

Mousetraps are Out, Bags of Pirate's Booty are In

The mice are down one soldier as of Saturday afternoon. He must have gone out looking for food during a rare quiet time during the day. Things don't stay quiet here for very long and he got stuck in the bag of Pirate's Booty on the counter. The cat was nosing around the bag and we saw it wobble back and forth of its own accord.

I grabbed the bag, rolled the top down, sealing him in. A strip of the duct tape and he was locked up.

Paula took him down to the slough for the release part of the equation. Neither of us really wanted to kill the mouse, we just didn't want him and his family taking up residence in our cupboards.

One down, at least one more to go.

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon. I heard a quiet crunch, crunch, crunch coming from under the toaster during a lull in the football crushing I was undergoing. I peeked and saw a pointy little whiskered face gnawing on a piece of a pretzel rod.

After a short chase, he did end up getting away but I hope I scared him good. The next step will be the escalation of the war against them from live traps to the ones that don't leave them alive. Not something we want to do but we also have no interest in sharing our house with them since they tend to poop, well, everywhere.

We'll get them, maybe not yesterday but maybe today or tomorrow or soon.

I wonder if they laugh in their little hiding holes because our cat lacks the claws required to get the job done?