10.17.2007

Sweet Land of Gluttony

Inspired by that awful commercial I saw last night. (Note, this is just a lark and not meant to injure anyone's feelings).

Sung to the tune of America (My Country Tis of Thee)

My country, tis of thee
Sweet land of gluttony, of thee I cringe
Land of the super sized
Land of the gluttonized
From every tableside let's go and binge

My fattened country, thee
Land of obesity, thy fries I love
I eat thy buffet meals
Fast foods and special deals
My heart with cholesterol, like that above

Let our fat grow with ease
And jiggle down to our knees, sweet fatty's song;
Let mortality take
Let all that lardass shake
Let farts their silence break, that sound so wrong

Our waistband's growth, to thee
Sweet land of obesity, to thee we bring
Long may our belts get tight
With our fork's holy might
Send us a large pizza with everything.

0 comments: