Rabid Accounts Collection

Dear Ebay,

Re-fucking-lax. I really and truly hope that you don't really need my $3.60 account balance to keep the lights on so please don't go sending me urgent payment requests for a lame ass $3.60 invoice.

Which will probably turn out to be spam anyway.

Wowee, my eyelids are heavy this morning. But I've got my coffee lifting cranes in place and expect to be able to keep my eyes open for longer than a minute shortly.

[Update: Ebay sent another email this morning, which looked alot like the spam Ebay email I get all the time, that informed me that my account has now been suspended and the world might come to end unless I pay them their $3.60.

Rick mentions in his comment that he's no longer using Ebay, I'm very open to alternatives that don't suck as hard as Ebay does now. Got one to suggest? Bring it on!]