4.30.2007

Kirstie Alley is the New Carrot Top

If you've had a television turned on within a hundred yards of you within the last six months then you've been shilled at by Kirstie Alley for Weight Watchers. Now with Valerie Bertenelli (who is still as cute as a button and remains a crush object from waaaaay back in the day).

The only thing is, Kirstie looks awful and her "humor" is almost as funny as cancer. The ads are aggravating and I don't understand how and why she's a spokesperson for a weight loss scheme when she is overweight, looks bad and apparently refuses to pay more than $20 for a dye job on her hair. And she has a voice like a warbling howler monkey.

I'm sure I'm being petty but I really don't care all that much. I need a filter for my box that allows me to circumvent personalities that are detrimental to my mental health or blood pressure. The short list would include: Kirstie Alley, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Tony Snow, Paris Hilton, Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, any and all characters from Friends with the potential exception of Matt Leblanc but he'd have to be taken on an case by case basis, the rest of them could be stuffed in an industrial shredder for all I care, Madonna (adoption is NOT a friggin' PR opp, you skanky old 'Ho!), Bud Selig because everything he says is a lie or just intended to cover his own ass and assets (dirty much, Bud?), Gilbert Gottfried (a living made by having a voice that makes people want to punch you again and again, nice work, whiny) and I'm sure I could go on and on but I'll stop here, post this and then move on to the next task, of which there are plenty.

Happy Monday, Universe! Let's hope this week sees some movement forward on the work and/or income front.

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