Morford Tackles the Unkempt Male Secret Garden

How To Shave The Modern Male and he's not talking about faces or backs.

When I was growing up and in those uncertain late teens early 20's, the very thought of trimming, shaving or otherwise addressing the unkempt pubis was a clear and sure sign that you liked the boys. I can clearly remember reading a response to a letter in a men's magazine, probably Details, that said "By all means, trim your pubic hair, we're sure your boyfriend will appreciate it." Not so thinly veiled, attending to the male "secret garden" equals gay. Which, at the time, was pretty undesirable. Nowadays, I don't really care in the least what people think of me or my supposed sexuality.

The reality is that an untrimmed or attended pubis looks, well, frightening and not appealing at all. Some guys get pubic dreadlocks because of all the sweat and salt and nastiness that accumulates and stays there.

And, let's face it, a schlong at half mast is already comedic, a schlong at half mast sticking out of a tangled nest of coarse pubic whiskers is downright hilarious looking. Sorry, it is. Men may be physically stronger but we are also incredibly goofy looking naked. And I'm not counting the idiots who keep their socks on when they strip down because that's a whole 'other universe of goofy looking.

As for me (and we just might be veering into Too-Much-Information territory), I've run the gamut from the wildman unkemptness to the clean-shaven to several stages in between. Shaven looks strange and is a pain when the hair starts growing back in but it feels pretty nice. The maintenance is a hassle though and its about fifty times easier and simpler to trim short every few weeks or so.

And that'll be enough about me for today.