Dear Mr. Too Damned Important To Stop Talking On Your Cell While You Piss

Dear Mr. Too Fucking Important to Stop Talking On Your Cellphone While You Piss, please take a few minutes and read the guide to Bathroom Etiquette for the Workplace.

Rule the First is No Business in the Bathroom. Read it, learn it, live it.

Besides, they can hear you pee, they can hear the bathroom echo and they definitely can hear you flush. And though they may be too polite to say it to you directly, they think you are a manner-less bore. Also, they hear you when you don't wash your hands after handling your junk, see Rule the Second.

Tell them you'll call them back in a few minutes or whatever. Just hang up the damned phone and piss.

And don't try to strike up a conversation with me (or anyone else) in the bathroom. At best, you will get a "Hi", at worst, you'll be added to the list of skeevy nutters who try to make friends in the bathroom. Not a good list to be on. Also, at worst, I will take your picture and post it on websites as a bathroom etiquette transgressor and then strangers will point at you and laugh when you are out in public.

Stop talking, do your toilet business and call them back. It isn't that hard.