Intellectual Poison

Gosh, I'm sure I'll sleep better tonight knowing he can't get me anymore.

Somehow his execution doesn't make me feel in the least bit safer or better. But I didn't have my family murdered by the man so maybe my perspective isn't properly biased by his crimes. Yes, he was a bad man and deserved death for his crimes, the ones he's been publicly held accountable for and the legions of crimes he committed that will never come to light. I keep thinking about his two sons who were horrible butchers of people, atrocious humans.

It was pretty impressive how quickly he was put down once the Iraqi's got hold of him. No chance for heroic rescue attempts by his loyalists. Its thanks for taking good care of him, here is your gallows, see ya and done. I wonder how many broken lives got some closure by his execution?

Tags: so long, Saddam, execution, hanging

Group Reports Harsh Working Conditions At Bratz Factory

Tags: ironic, irony, harsh conditions, Bratz

Tonight is Graydon's first night in a full sized bed. And, by consequence, Sullivan's first full night in the crib. Everyone got an upgrade!

And the gate goes back in at the top of the stairs. I already know he's a restless sleeper, he may also yet be a sleepwalker for all we know. And I don't think I want to find out by having him tumble down the stairs, again. Once was more than enough.

Anyway, so far so good. He got up once because he said he was hungry so we had a little banana and peanut butter snack and then it was back up and into bed. This time he appears to be staying down, I know he was tired so that probably makes it a little easier.

I just pray that he sleeps past five, anything after five is kind of like a bonus.

Tags: milestone, big bed, upgrade, crib

Women in lettuce bikinis?

I don't really care for PETA's politics but I tend to appreciate their advertising campaigns. Who could not find something appealing about a campaign that is hot women wearing lettuce?

Of course, it gives rise to all kinds of boys club potty humor like the title of the post. And it won't stop me from being a carnivore nor will it make me eat more salad than I already do. That's right, I can admit that I not only eat salad, I like it. And I don't have to slather 600 fatty sugar calories on top to make it palatable (that's the dressing, if you aren't paying attention).

But, as opposed to PETA's shouting and aggressive ads, I'd be much more open to a dialogue based on this new campaign so they are, at least, making a little headway. Or should that be a little lettuce head way?

I do not, however, think the Broccoli Boys are a good idea at all. They sound like guys with fungal growths on their wangs.

Tags: PETA, lettuce ladies, lettuce bikini, vegetarianism, salad

Giants finally make a big splash, sign Zito to largest pitcher contract ever. One hundred twenty six million over seven years with an option for the 8th year. Wow. Very, very big signing and it puts the Giants out in front in the West, just like that.

With Lowry and Cain as solid 2 and 3 starters, the Giants' pitching looks very, very strong. Now if the bats work too they'll school the NL west!

This screensaver makes me feel cooler and maybe I'm not any cooler for having a really cool screensaver. But that's okay. I do, in the end, have a really cool screensaver.

Tags: screensaver, mac, cool

The day after Christmas is just about done and I'm about recovered.

My personal favorite present is an Air Hogs mini remote control bi-plane. Grady's most favorite gift depends upon the moment. He's quite partial to the ride on motorcycle but he also really likes his Cars cars. Sully was pretty thrilled to be hanging out and playing in any case. And he did get some pretty neat new stuff including a see-thru rain stick with colored beads. My favorite gift for my lovely wife was a deck prism from a sailing ship but the most useful will be new running shoes.

Also, the can lizard from my mom is really excellent, the boys grandmother got them a bunch of clothes and fun stuff. And his cousins gave us some surprisingly excellent remote control cars. They look like shelf models but have donut ripping power action.

One thing we did do is to meter out some of the present opening over a couple of days. That way Graydon got a chance to open, examine and enjoy more of his toys. He really had a good time with his truck one night, we broke the highly anticipated LED spinning top on the second attempt to use it ever and Grady wasn't interested in The Incredibles when it first aired (though he did rather enjoy the second airing). My wife has coined the, now trademarked, term Happy Jolly Days to mean all the fun and gift giving of the holidays but not so much from a religiously motivated perspective.

We had a good time at my in-laws, the spread of food was nice and broad and it was easy to pick up a plate of goodies to eat. Aside from a couple of meltdowns amongst the assembled chitlins, some of whom were to be expected to meltdown, at least a little bit, and then some other chitlins who were supposed to be above it.

But, in the end, it was a fun day. Now I just want no rain for tomorrow so I can go out and fly my plane.

At the worst, it beats working!

Tags: Christmas, presents, Air Hog, Happy Jolly Days

'Godfather of Soul' James Brown Dies

If it weren't, you know, Christmas morning, we'd be jamming some Sex Machine and pouring a little of our X-Mas 40's out on the ground to commemorate his passing.

Say it loud!

Blogger's sloppy stumble out of beta is causing panic among some of the community because the migration is failing some and leaving them and their blogs in limbo between the old Blogger and the new and sketchily improved Blogger Beta.

I've actually tried to migrate to the new Beta a couple of times but was denied because Intellectual Poison has some 5000 posts in its history and they didn't like that. So I waited and now they say its ready for everyone. But the apparent reality is that plenty of people are getting buggered over by the migration to the new system.

I still don't understand why Google barely seems to give a damn about Blogger. They seemingly treat it like a red-headed step child and just give it a smack every now and again to let it know it "loves" it.

I'll try the migration again this evening so don't be surprised if the IP universe goes "dark" for a little while. Hopefully it'll be a short eclipse if there is one at all. And it probably wouldn't hurt to keep your fingers crossed!

[Okay, now that its Christmas Eve and all through my house, both little boys are sleeping and its time to put some toys together. The big "Some assembly required" this year is a hobby horse, the kind on the four springs. I figure I'll get this migration going while I put that sucker together.]

A series of photos of a man, who cannot use his hands, patching, repairing and reseating a bicycle inner tube. Why? Apparently its his job.

Somehow my little problems don't seem so insurmountable anymore.

Tags: inspiration, handicapped, fixing a flat, flat tire

I try to get through Christmas without losing my shit because of the crass commercialism of the holiday. I try to ignore it as best I can. But I generally get my lunch at the Safeway near my work and there's a Salvation Army "donation" guy that stands by the door jangling his bell. He does it really low until someone walks in or out of the store and then he makes it jangle loud and shrill. And he always gives me the hairy eyeball and a sarcastic "Have a nice day" as I walk by him without throwing my change into his bucket.

I have my reasons for not donating my change. The first is that I save all of my change, it goes into a jar and we use it for family stuff that we might not otherwise be able to afford. Change adds up, a year or so can net several hundred bucks.

The second reason is that the Salvation Army is a religious organization at its core. Part of their central philosophy is to spread their gospel. Sorry but I cannot and will not support religious organizations. One nice thing about the calendar changing over to 2007 is that he'll be gone when I go back to work.

Anyway, all of that brings me to today's new word of the day....

Shrell - a shrill bell, not unlike the bell the Salvation Army guy rings.

All new words go up on the Fictionarium and the WordPress IP Fictionarium.

Tags: shrell, fictionarium, new words, inventing language, NWotD

There's been a lot of hay made about this feud between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump in the wake of Rosie's comments about Donald and his "moral authority" to allow Tara Conner to retain her Miss USA title.

And so, here's my two cents.

I wouldn't mind if they both fell down a well but I think Rosie's making a more coherent argument. Donald Trump is no moral authority, he's behaved like an utterly self-absorbed ass his entire adult life and the idea that he is helping to guide Tara Connor away from the evils of the party lifestyle is ridiculous. Trump's responses have been nothing but personal attacks, mostly based on her weight, which is pathetic and stupid.

But, again, they can both go hang for all I care. And The Apprentice is an awful show if only for the fact that it features his sourpuss mug the entire time. The guy looks like he sucks lemons all day long.

And there has been discussion about whether this whole thing is nothing but an elaborate ruse to draw attention to the next season of The Apprentice. Not that it will make any difference to me, I can't stand Trump and wouldn't watch his show unless my tv started kicking out five dollar bills for every minute I watched. And even then I'd probably throw it in after ten minutes.

Also, I don't watch The View either although its far more watchable now that the freakin' Star Jones is gone, that lady looked like an alien and acted like a diva. Damn, she was annoying.

Tags: Donald Trump, lemon sucker, Rosie, The Apprentice, The View, Tara Conner

Survivor wrapped up for another season on Sunday night and San Mateo native, Yul Kwon, won the Cook Islands series. The other possibility was Ozzy and then there was the third chance, Becky, who got no votes and was a non-factor in the finale.

I would have been almost as happy with Ozzy winning as well, which is really unusual for Survivor. There's almost always an ass and a nice guy in the final but this season ended with the underdog four member tribe annihilating the over-confident and under-performing tribe of eight. And, as Jeff Probst, the host of the show, said, it was one of the most interesting and entertaining seasons in a long time (which was also an admission that several of the recent seasons have been kind of lame).

Instead of a full-on rehash, I thought it would be more fun to rundown through the players and give a quick summation of how they came across in the show.

Ozzy - easily the most dominant athlete and the adept at getting food. He was a likable guy, on purpose.
Becky - nice enough but not especially useful in challenges and didn't really have any place in the final three, as evidenced by her lack of a single vote in her favor for the million bucks.
Candice - great athlete, very pretty but an immature brat who mutineed on her tribe and then cried about being sent to Exile Island every time they got a chance to. Boo-hoo.
Parvati - cute woman but a really annoying personality who relied on flirting as a game strategy and then got more and more annoying the farther she went into the game.
Adam - the big athlete who was decent early and then just kind of a jerkass the rest of the season. He did have some interesting moments though. I am almost positive I would think he was a total asshole if I met him in person.
Nate - Good guy, likable, laughable, strong and big. I was bummed when he got booted.
Sundra - seemed like a nice enough lady, kind of rode her way through to the end and then demonstrated how little she'd learned by not being able to make a fire in an HOUR of trying, even after she was given matches. Very lame.
Jonathan - snaky wanker with a big mouth and crazy eyes. Kind of an ass but he generally had a good point.
Jenny - she seemed like she would enjoy beating me up. I didn't really like her much.
Brad - why are the gay guys they get on the show so annoyingly flaming? He was a wanker and not very good at the game, nor a team player when he was supposed to be. I didn't much care for him either.
Flicka - the rollergirl, get some of that fifteen pounds of hair chopped or something. I liked her but she was waaay too much like "let's have fun and I don't want to play the game" and its unsurprising she didn't get very far.

Who else? I don't know. That should be plenty enough.

This was a really good season of Survivor. The racial thing didn't add much to the game really but the added twists of the mutiny and the double elimination tribal council made a big difference in how the game ran.

Yul deserved to win, he was the most dominant overall player and played as close to an honest and ethical game as he could. He also seems like a decent guy.

Tags: survivor, Yul Kwon, finale, winners, losers

The Hipporoller enables people to transport four times as much water as the old method of balancing water jugs on heads, or across shoulders.

The Hipporoller carries 20 gallons of water, four times the water that one person can carry via a 20 litre bucket (5 gallons weighs nearly 42 pounds or 18.9 kilograms) and it does so without placing undue stress on the neck, arms or spine.

It carries 200 pounds of water but at the wheel axle which makes that weight effectively 22 pounds and that allows older people and younger children to pilot the hipporoller on flat terrain without too much trouble. And, once the roller has been used for a week or so, the path between the water and the village will be nice and flat, good enough to use as a putting green.

These are like usable, personal steamrollers and they'll save backs, necks, shoulders and legs from untold strain and damage.

I'd never really considered how detrimental the transportation of water balanced on top of your head could be over the long term. But, now that I have thought about it, it must be excruciating to many. But they have to have water and nobody else can do it so they continue doing it.

You can support the purchase and distribution of the Hipporoller via The Africa Foundation (its an indirect support though, they take all donated monies and allocate them to projects internally).

Tags: hipporoller, efficient, water, transport

Your latest commercials? The ones where the bald headed guy is making out with his phone in a bar? What fucking idiot demographic are you trying to appeal to with that incredibly stupid ad? The losers with sexual dysfunctions demographic?

For those of you lucky enough to have missed this piece of shit commercial. Its a guy standing in a bar, talking about how awesome his phone is and all the great things it can do and, no lie, he starts kissing it and stroking it and doing the pillow talk thing. Only its not funny, its creepy and wrong and stupid and the guy is a complete loser.

I don't get it and I don't want to get it.

If you were shooting for funny, you missed. Badly.

Please stop. The ad of the guy at the park with the old guy on the pimped cruiser was a good ad. This ad makes me want to come to your offices and kick you in the nuts.

Thanks,
Erik

Tags: Amped Mobile, WTF, tard marketing, dumber than durt

Is this a great world or what? What other universe would creat a Candy Bra ( all links are NSFW) made of the same candy in a candy necklace? But wait, there's more. Get yourself a matching Candy G-string to go with the top. The one for boys just doesn't really work as well or look as good though.

How about some chewy gummy butts or gummy boobs?

Tags: NSFW, candy, candy clothing, bra, g-string, candy bra

Retailers profit from unused gift cards to the tune of $4.8 BILLION! The amazing thing is that its only 6 percent of the cards that get lost, erased or otherwise unused.

Gift Cards that expire are a scam, gift cards that don't have a backup storage record with the store are a scam. I've been screwed out of a hundred bucks or so on a gift card because the store didn't keep records. And this is the exact reason, they don't because it saves them money on tracking them and they make pure profit off the unused money on the cards.

And that is lame, lame, lame.

Couple this crappy news with this news from Snopes about crooks noting gift card numbers, then finding out when they've been activated and then draining the card.

Tags: gift card, pure profit, lost, wasted

Saw this on MeFi the other day and its pretty darned cute.

Here's Grady Elf and Sully Elf.

Warning, playing this at work might not be a great idea, the music is loud and very, very Christmas-y. And your laughter might disrupt other people trying to grind out the week until the holiday vacation starts.

And yes, you can make your own. If you do then please let me know in the comments.

Tags: elfyourself, elf, goofy, funny

Drambuie has a commercial playing right now that's supposed to evoke a sense of Braveheart (nice timing on that one since ol' Mad Mel's drunken hate rant) and a "secret recipe handed down for centuries".

The only problem is that the recipe is for Drambuie and Soda with a squeeze of lime. It's not a secret, its a stupid ass attempt at marketing.

The Scotch Blog rips it apart because its a nonsensical series of images culminating in the dude jumping across an alleyway and on to a rooftop bar that isn't accessible via stairs or something.

But my take is different. Its just patently stupid to talk about a secret drink with three ingredients. There are, by the Webtender's count, there are 26 recipes for Drambuie. But Drambuie is a bit player in most of those recipes although you've gotta love the names. Can you imagine an ad campaign trying to get people to order "Kiltlifters" or "Warm Wooly Sheep"? And "Napalm Death" doesn't really deliver the right message either, does it?

But Drambuie & Soda being a secret recipe "handed down for centuries" is just plain dumb. My guess is that Drambuie is very likely referred to as women's Scotch or girly Scotch in Scotland, its Scotch sweetened with honey and herbs when any real drinker knows that Scotch is perfect all by itself.

Me? I would have come up with something a little more clever. Maybe having their William Wallace wannabe engaging in some Claymore ass whopping action and then refresh himself with a Drambuie & Soda (presuming they couldn't come up with something better) while some very hot Scottish chicks in mini-kilts look on adoringly. Come on, fellas, it ain't that hard.

Tags: Drambuie, dumb marketing, stupid ad, Scotch

I am already getting music recommendations from my two and a half year old son. A month or so ago (has it really only been a month?) we borrowed the movie, Cars, from a friend. Graydon promptly chewed on the cardboard outer box so we had to replace the movie and he got his own, slightly chewed, copy.

We’ve watched the movie more than enough to have justified owning a copy. At one point we were watching it twice a day (not all the way through, just playing it and pausing it when other things began to happen). In the end, I’ve probably seen the movie about 10 times but am still noticing new things in it.

It is, for those who haven’t seen it, an extraordinarily clever and entertaining movie. The cars/human crossovers are seamless and the storyline is excellent. Paul Newman kicks ass as Doc Hudson and the other celebrity voices are equally as entertaining. There’s Cheech Marin, George Carlin, Owen Wilson and Michael Keaton as well as real race drivers like Dale Earnhardt Jr., Mario Andretti and Michael Shumacher.

But this post isn't really so much about the movie so much as it is about Grady's reaction to one of the songs in the movie. Sh-Boom is a 50's style song that they play when the town is lit up at night. Its a cute song that is upbeat and good. But the funny thing is watching Grady listen to the song. He starts bobbing his head from side to side, not unlike the cars bobbing down the new road from side to side.

It makes me smile just thinking about it. And his enjoyment of the song rubs off on me and now I really like the song quite a lot. So I thought I'd share a copy with anyone who's interested in a copy. The Chords - Sh Boom.

And the movie gets two big thumbs up all the way around our house. My sister's kids love the movie too but have also clued me into a potential side effect of my children getting into Nascar, which isn't something I find entertaining in the least. But we do enjoy watching trucks race off road and dirt bikes and fun stuff like that!

Ka-Chow!

Tags: Cars Movie, toddler, music, Sh Boom, Ka-Chow!

The White House has asked a judge to overturn a ruling that allow the Visits to the Vice President's Office to be examined for the access that lobbyists (perhaps Jack Abramoff? You know, the guy George Bush denied ever having even met when its been since proven he's met the guy something like 200 times?) had to his office.

The response from the White House is that it would be an unprecedented intrusion into his ability to perform his job. Um yeah, this is the same White House that has the "right" to tap your phones, my phones and to do damned near anything they please in the name of the war on terror.

So I have a new nickname for Black Heart Dick Cheney, he can now also be referred to as Double Standard Dicky (and he can also still be referred to as Friend or F..Blam!!! Dicky too).

The question I have is whether any other Vice President's visitor logs have been made accessible. This isn't some triviall curiousity, this is an investigation into whether Dick Cheney had dealings with known criminals. This isn't about politics, this is about whether the guy is provably corrupt or corrupt enough to warrant further digging.

The fact that they are so against it would indicate that there's something they don't want known. Which makes it all the more important the ruling not be overturned and those records be delivered for scrutiny.

Tags: Dick Cheney, investigation, lobbyist, VPotUS, Jack Abramoff, corruption, visitor log, ruling

If you think your drive in to work is rough, check out the 5 Most Dangerous Roads in the World. None of these roads are any I have any interest in even trying to travel on. The Bolivian Road of Death is just sheer insanity with 3,600 meter dropoffs around pretty much each blind hairpin and the fog and rain and mudslides don't help at all.

And here I thought Highway 17 was bad.

I do have to say that the Guoliang Tunnel in China is pretty amazing seeing as how it was carved by villagers without the benefit of power equipment and was dug through solid rock.

Tags: most dangerous road, insanity, Bolivian Road of Death, Guoliang Tunnel, Highway 17

Grady has decided that he really likes his waffles. So much so that he had three of them yesterday and just asked for another one this morning.

The strange thing? He didn't want this morning's waffle toasted or warmed up, he's eating it frozen.

The kid is pretty funny that way.

Tree Buyer Spots 20something Taggers a'Tagging

"Tree buyer spies suspected vandals
A county resident buying a Christmas tree witnessed two young men allegedly vandalizing a nearby building Wednesday night and helped deputies catch the men, the Sheriff's Office reported.
Deputies stopped the men - 21-year-old Matthew Montgomery of Aptos and 20-year-old Paul Keller of La Selva Beach - driving away, Sgt. Fred Plageman said. They denied spray-painting tags on the building, but the men had yellow paint on their hands and the witness identified them as the vandals, Plageman said.
The building had fresh tags in yellow paint on it and deputies found empty cans of spray paint in the pair's vehicle, Plageman said. They were arrested on suspicion of vandalism"

I guess 20 is the new 15 these days. I don't get what these two "men" were trying to accomplish by vandalising a building with spraypaint. I do know that any vandalistic tendencies I had were pretty much done by the time I hit my teens.
Tags: vandals, spraypaint, grow up, vandalism

The US Census Bureau Facts & Figures: Holiday Edition says that more than 20 billion letters, packages and cards will be delivered this holiday season, which is more than 12 million per day! The data also says retailers collected $31.7 billion in December '05, a 47% jump from the previous month. It remains to be seen if December '06 tops that number.

Also check out the Special Edition for comparison data from 1915, 1967 and 2006, the African-American History Month Facts & Features and more data going back to 2000.

The World's Tallest Man Saves Chinese Dolphins. Which reads like a farcical joke of some sort. But the reality is that Bao Xishun, a seven foot nine inch herdsman, reached into their stomachs with his nearly 42 inch long arm and pulled out some plastic that they'd eaten off the side of their tank and was going to cause them serious distress and could end up killing them.

Of course, my title is farcical but that's because I'm that kind of guy. And I wonder what the meeting was like when they came up with the idea of using Bao and his three and a half foot long arms to do this.

The reason they needed him was because medical instruments were having trouble navigating their way into the dolphin's stomachs (I guess the path is somewhat convoluted).

In other Chinese dolphin news, the Yangtze dolphin, or baiji or Chinese river dolphin, has been officially classified as functionally extinct.

Tags: dolphin, rescue, extinction

I thought it would be some snarkalicious fun to make up scents for celebrities and pseudo-celebrities and, that most annoying class of public figure, false celebrities (the people who've done nothing to warrant the public's knowledge of them) that reflected their outward personalities. Maybe unfair, maybe funny, I don't know, I haven't gotten there yet.

The format will be Celebrity Name's Perfume/Cologne Name - ingredients selected to attempt to represent them.

Jessica Simpson's Stupid - tuna fish, collagen and suntan oil.
Robin Williams's Ar, Ar, Ar - burnt plastic, hair oil and shave gel.
David Caruso's Arch - SPF 300 sunscreen, ground up clovers and Lucky Charms.
Mel Gibson's Hate - tequila, melted Hanukah chocolate and motor oil.
Michael Richards's Racist - bananas and ugli fruit.
Andy Dick's Look At Me - ass juice, fragrance-free astroglide and distilled water.
K-Fed's Trash - rotting garbage, vomit and dingleberries.
George W. Bush's Smarmy - garlic, bitter lemon and gun oil.
Britney Spears' Y'All - cheetos, bubble gum and baby wipes.
Paris Hilton's (I am) Hot - gauze, surgical scrub soap and hydrogen peroxide.
Matthew McConaughey's Studly - his own sweat, his own toe jam and his own spit.
Lindsay Lohan's Party Girl - pot smoke, Jaegermeister and bile.
Tom Cruise's Loony - lithium, Paxil and tooth whitener.
Kirstie Alley's Gunky - maple syrup, Dexatrim and collagen.
Madonna's Twatchy - FDS, menthol and mothballs.
Lewis Black's Enraged - smoke, BO and Kool-Aid.
Sylvester Stallone's Yo! - salami, raw eggs and chest hair.
Drew Barrymore's Whimsy - jellybeans, belly button lint and clouds.
Dick Cheney's Black Heart - coal, ashes and rattlesnake poison.
Tara Reid's Ooops - Bacardi 151, vitamin E oil and pepto bismol.
Nicole Richie's Scrawny - celery, feathers and breath mints.
Charlie Sheen's Pay Up - viagra, KY jelly and cocaine.
Flava Flav's Ho! Juice - battery acid, vinegar and mascara.
Kelly Ripa's Ditz - throat lozenges, hair spray and menthol cigarettes.

Alright, alright, I've gotta put a stop to it here or I'll just keep going on all night.

Funny thing is, I'm pretty proud of some of these combinations. So much so that I might make this a regular feature of Intellectual Poison. Got some that you come up with? Share them in the comments. Or, let me know if there's a celebrity you'd like me to take a whack at designing their signature (non)scent. Like 'em? Tell me which one you liked most.

Tags: celebrity, perfume, nonscents, funny

Right Wing Watch: Soy Makes You Gay

According to James Rutz (har, har, har) of the Megashift Ministries, soy is girly and feeding it to babies will make them gay. I love his illogical argumentation and foregone conclusions derived from his premises. Nothing like a canned "argument" to prove your point.

Who would willingly sit and listen to this idiot in his congregation? He looks means, he holds bizarre and wholly unsupported beliefs (and no, I'm not ripping on his religious beliefs here, I'm ripping on his "facts" about the source of homosexuality).

In the words of Bugs Bunny, What a Maroon!

New .xxx domain will be reserved for porn.

How could something so obvious take so long to get done?

How much easier will it be to block access to .xxx than to the millions of porn sites with .com domains?

Tags: porn, pron, xxx, domain

I think the developers at Mozilla took FireFox out of the oven too early. It has started to do some really annoying things that force me to keep Camino or Safari up and running to take care of the sites, actions or pages that FireFox just chokes on or otherwise won't play nicely with.

Let's see what FireFox is doing or not doing that's causing headaches.

1. It does not seem to be able to publish my blog posts through Blogger anymore. It just continually reloads the percent page with a 0% until it comes back with an error. When I publish in Safari, it has zero trouble and publishes in under a half a minute.
2. Downloading mp3's from YouSendit or Senduit, this isn't a problem on other computers I use but, for some annoying reason, I can't download them on my main computer. No change in settings seems to do anything and there's no help on the incredibly unhelpful Mozilla support forums.
3. I had a problem where, when a page would first load, the first link I would click would not open that link but would rather scroll the page all the way to the top. I've since figured that one out but it was stupid, annoying and a useless "feature". [Update - Rick asked for my solution on this and its a pretty easy one, hit F7 and FF will pop up a window to turn Caret Browsing on or off.]
4. Memory leakage and work stoppage, if FireFox runs for too long it starts sucking up massive amounts of memory and you get to see the spinning beach ball more than any site content. Wheee!
5. If FireFox runs for too long, I find that I can no longer enter text into any text boxes, search engine strings or the location box. Again, annoying.
6. Window snapbacks, sometimes I want to move a window so I can see what's happening in the window behind it but FireFox will snap the window back into the upper left hand corner of the screen. Sometimes it will allow me to move the window some but not to where I want it and then it will snap it back. Incredibly freaking irritating.
7. Have lots of tabs open and then having to use the arrow to scroll through the tab bar or the dropdown to get to them. In 1.5 this was not an issue, the tabs would shrink and still fit without the scroll arrow. I thought software was supposed to get better with each iteration, not more annoying.
[Update - 8. Whenever I hit Blog This, the window appears behind the window I'm looking at and selecting it from the Window menu on the top bar doesn't take me to it. Annoying. It also always spawns in the same place no matter what.]

I have no doubt that all of these irritations can be fixed, I do have an issue with these problems mostly arising after the 2.0 release which is supposed to be superior to the 1.5 release. I still like FireFox quite alot but these problems are irritating.

Also, if you have any solutions to any of these then please leave a comment and help a brother out!

Tags: FireFox, suck, sucking, bugs, irritating

Slickdeals has a coupon for 12% off at Staples on almost anything in the store and the printable coupon in the link is good until the 23rd of December. This is awesome and its a really good chance to pick up a new camera or other goodie that you've been looking for.

Here's a list of 10 Foods that Are Health Horrors, this is just the list, the link has explanations of what the problem is with each of these though some are pretty easy to understand.

1. Frightful Fried Foods
2. Scary Steakhouse Specialty
3. Monstrously Misleading
4. Big, Bigger, Biggest Burgers
5. Appalling Appetizers
6. Calorie-Laden Cakes
7. Diet-Demolishing Drinks
8. Mammoth Mall Munchies
9. Dining-Out Diet Disasters
10. Stupendous Servings

Craigslist Meets the Capitalists and blows their minds by explaining that Craigslist doesn't want to monetize every aspect of the site. They are more content to provide a service and a community for people, their expenses are paid for and they are comfortable.

Jim Buckmaster, the chief executive of Craigslist, caused lots of head-scratching Thursday as he tried to explain to a bunch of Wall Street types why his company is not interested in “monetizing” his ridiculously popular Web operation. Appearing at the UBS global media conference in New York, Mr. Buckmaster took questions from the bemused audience, which apparently could not get its collective mind around the notion that Craigslist exists to help Web users find jobs, cars, apartments and dates — and not so much to make money.

It is because of this that people love Craigslist. I know that I do. It is incredibly refreshing to know that there are successful people in the world that aren't looking to cash out as quickly as they can. I remember the furor the partial sale of Craigslist to eBay caused on the site and I'm really very happy that it hasn't changed the site's philosophy or its desire to help people.

Judge Weighs Torture Claim Vs. Rumsfeld

Donald Rumsfeld, at best, did nothing to stop the torture and debasement of POW's and suspected terrorists, at worst, he authorized the torture and abuse of prisoners of war. And he was seeking a blanket immunity from prosecution.

If he authorized torture then he should damned well be held accountable for it. I'm pretty sick and tired of these chickenhawk bitches and their tough talk and then they go and try and protect their own asses from having to own up to their crimes.

Tags: torture, Rumsfeld, Rummy, immunity

I really dislike UPS, especially now as we're approaching the holidays. They came by to deliver a package after 5 tonight, my wife had been home most of the day and yet, they came after five and left a note that they would try again on Monday.

Why in the hell don't they deliver on the weekends? And why do I need to sign for this package when it is just some gifts from Amazon?

Why does UPS seem to go out of their way to make things more difficult?

Monday doesn't work for us at all, we both are at work, the kids are at daycare.

In fact, I just checked the tracking on the package and they tried to deliver it at 20 minutes to six on a Friday night. That's just stupid.

I don't get how they can not deliver packages on the weekend. But it makes sense that they are brown because brown is the color of shit, just like their service.

I think they should change their motto from "What can brown do for you?" to "What won't brown do for you?" They don't work within people's schedules, they don't deliver things during regular hours, they don't work on weekends. Bah, big fucking humbug on their shorts-in-winter wearing asses.

Tags: UPS, stupid, sucks, weekend

Speak up, sir...You need the extra small condoms?

A study by the Indian Council of Medical Research has brought the penile smackdown on the entire nation by concluding that 60 percent of Indian men have penises about an inch shorter than other nationalities and 30 percent are down 2 inches. Ouch! Or should say un-ouch?

India has a soaring rate of HIV infections because, apparently, Indian men are too shy to ask for condoms. Which is kind of funny and sad, I was shy about buying condoms when I was 18 not so much now.

Barry Bonds has resigned with the Giants for a mere $16 million. Which is fine, IF he doesn't get hurt and IF he breaks the home run record this season. But if his knee or elbow gives him trouble then it was a waste of money. I would have been much happier if he'd gotten an incentive laden contract to really encourage him to play and play hard.

I know at least one fan who is very sad today, JT Snow was her favorite Giant and she was bummed when he was traded away. Well, now he's coming back but not to play, he has retired from playing and will be working for the Giants in other capacities.

Tags: SF Giants, Barry Bonds, JT Snow, baseball

If you want to see what an amazing amount of dedication can accomplish then watch this video of Fully Functional 1:3 Scale Ferrari 312PB made by Pierre Scerri. He made every part by hand, he made every mold to make every part by hand. Including the fully functional engine. Truly amazing!

He estimates it took him 20,000 hours to do. And every single part is authentic to the original, just one third its size.

I wonder if it would take him 20,000 hours to train a monkey to drive it properly?

I think I would have chosen a Dino though.

Tags: Ferrari 312PB, 1:3 Scale, Pierre Scerri, painstaking

Do what one crazy mother did and have them arrested. Or you can make them understand by putting their gifts up for auction on eBay, I'm sure the lesson won't be utterly lost on them.

Found via Tech Dirt.

Luckily my two boys are too small to know enough to look for presents. But if Grady happens across the stash, he'll have not the first hesitation in pulling them out and playing with them. And he will scream bloody murder when they get taken away and hidden again. Ahh, the joys of living with a two and a half year old, we go from insane laughter to tears and back in the span of one commercial break.

Tags: Christmas, presents, arrest, that'll teach 'em

So Mel "I Don't Hate Jews" Gibson's Apocalypto opens tomorrow. Do you care? Do I?

Nope.

Just like I don't care about Tom Cruise's next movie, or Arnold Schwarzenegger's. These are actors that have passed beyond my desire to put a red cent in their pockets because of their off-screen stupidity.

Which is a bummer because I, generally, like Mel Gibson's movies. Braveheart was phenomenal, The Road Warrior was a staple movie growing up, the Lethal Weapon series was entertaining. But sorry, Mel. I cannot and will not support an asshat. At least a known asshat. I'm sure plenty of other stars I like are also complete pricks offscreen but until I know that for a fact, I'll continue to watch and enjoy their movies.

[Update: Here's SFGate's review of the movie, apparently it makes Gibson's Passion look like a kiddie movie with all of the gore. Rape, murder, mayhem -- there goes the civilization. Seriously, what is Mel Gibson's fascination/obsession with gore, blood, torture and pain?]

Andy Dick Apologizes for Racial Slur because he thought it would be funny to joke about Michael Richards' recent loss of control and spewing of The N-Word (queue the Dun, Dun, Dunnnnnnn music). He was at a comedy club and jumped up on stage and shouted that everyone in the audience was a bunch of n******.

He was, apparently, tired of Michael Richards getting all that hot, juicy publicity from his recent tirade and, since Dick has done, well, dick'all lately, he tried to steal the "spotlight".

Andy Dick is another one of those D-List celebrities that doesn't deserve even a tiny bit of his "star" power. The guy's a fucking moron who craves attention and figured this was a good way to gain some notoriety.

Let's just call him A. Dick from now on and dispense with the pretense. Or let's ignore him, along with other D-List loser, Kathy Griffin, an amazingly unfunny and un-entertaining personality.

I've been going through my drafts, trying to find something that doesn't suck to post. My mood is on the depressed side, I'm still coping with the reality of James Kim's death. I didn't expect it to hit as hard as it has but it really has and I'm really just feeling kind of down all the way around.

This isn't meant to be irreverent, it is meant to lighten things up. And its pretty amazing too.

So here is a video of some Infrared Farting.

Tags: infrared fart, video, cool, strange

Searchers have found missing dad's body. I'm sure everyone knows about this story by now but the final chapter has just been penned and it isn't the happy ending we were all hoping for. It ends in tragedy and sadness.

I'm so sorry for the family and friends of James Kim. He was, by all accounts, a pretty great guy. We may never know what happened in his final hours but you can rest assured that his chief concern was not for his own safety but for the safety of his wife and children. The added tragedy is that he never knew that they had already been rescued and were safe.

I think that might have helped him. I'm really very sad and upset by this news. The Kim's family was just like mine, husband, wife, two small children. There but for the grace of bad luck. Really a bummer.

The Disappearing Civil Liberties Mug at UncommonGoods is a brilliant and frightening commentary on our reality today. Fill it up with hot liquid and watch as the listed civil liberties fade away before your very eyes.

Note: These posts about EgoCo may or may not reflect actual events that may or may not have actually occurred at an actual company. For reasons of covering my ass, you can consider this fiction or maybe fictionalized reality. Either way, there are no names, no company names and, hopefully, no way of connecting the stories posted here with any existing entity. That's for a reason.

In this episode, natural attrition followed by spot firings.

Last episode covered the unnatural death of a stupid conference being put on by EgoCo that they had no business doing because they had no competency in the space they were trying to get into.

It remains to be seen if the next conference actually happens but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

People come and people go, its the nature of business. The turnover rate in a small shop like EgoCo is extraordinary and remarkable. At one point, one of the folks working there had counted no less than 18 people passing through the doors in the span of a single year. In a company of 14, when they are running fat, and 12 when they're running lean, 18 is an insane number of people by any stretch of reality. At one point, when I was still laboring there, I had a phone list for the company that I'd had since my first year. All but two names had been crossed off the list, my boss and mine. Every single other people had either been canned or left, usually in abject disgust even if they had the tact to not come right out and give that as a reason for departing.

During my nearly four years there, I'd estimate that close to 40 people had been hired and fired or left. Astonishing numbers really.

Sometimes the attrition was because the leaver was moving on to better things, hell unemployment was a better thing. But really, sometimes the person quitting was actually moving to another job and was following their career trajectory. Sometimes they just left because they couldn't bear the thought of another day under the baleful glare of the EgoCo CEO, the Chief Ego Officer and VP of Pride.

Anyway, one of my friends had given her notice. She'd had enough of the painfully uncomfortable working environment, she'd had enough of working her ass off and still not making ends meet, she'd had enough of three different bosses telling her three different things about the same piece of work (remember the scene in Office Space where Peter talks about having eight managers? like that, only real). She had had enough. So she gave her two weeks notice.

And she knew something was up when all three were being sweet as candy to her, no ferocious backlash, no nothing except some creepy personal questions about where she was going and why. In the year plus that she'd been there the CEO had never once inquired about her personal life so this was a first and it creeped her out really. This is like a shark asking you where you live so she can come by and eat your children.

After the first week, she knew what was up because not only did they PR guy get fired out of hand for absolutely no reason but the office manager was similarly fired for no reason. Two hands tossed and that's when things got weirder because one of the bosses said that they'd "talk" on the following Monday.

We talked over the weekend which is how I came to know all of this. The PR guy had blown out his knee and had been working remotely but had recently started to come back into the office to work again, he thought he was doing a good job and thought that he was appreciated for his efforts. But the Chief Ego Officer resented having him telecommute and certainly resented having to pay him any money, she resented having to pay anyone any money. Except herself, of course, because she was the only one who ever did any real work, of course.

Come Monday, the skinny was that they wanted my friend, who was in the last five days of working for them, to take on the PR guy and the office manager's duties for a wee bump in pay. Hmmm, take on three jobs for a small increase in pay? What a bargain. I don't know how she was able to decline.

And that, my friends, is another chapter from good ol' EgoCo. Maybe not the juiciest stupidity but it is real stupidity, not that fake crap they make in China.

The recap? They fired two people and expected someone who'd already given their two weeks notice to stay on and do their jobs for a couple of thousand bucks extra on their salary. Go, EgoCo! Go right to flippin' hell!

Tags: EgoCo, failure, Schadenfreude, lost money

Tori Spelling To Publish Memoirs and Intellectual Poison has an early sneak peek at this dull-all book.

Here's the excerpted portion: "Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I hate Shannon Doherty! Duuuuuuuuuuhhhhhuuuhhuhuhhhuuhhhhh! My dad is Aaron Spelling so I can do whatever I want. Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Should be a page turner.

Teen Murderer Says Jail Is Too Hard, Appeals Sentence. This kid was 15 when he jumped on to a homeless man, who his pals had been beating already for a while, crushing his rib cage and killing him. He was sentenced to 22 years in prison. But now he says he's learned his lesson after 8 months and wants to be a motivational speaker.

Um yeah, sorry, kid but you are staying put and you should stay put. What kind of motivation are you going to provide? You murdered a man because you were bored. And now you're learning the price for your cruelty.

See you in ten or twelve years, if you're lucky and stay out of trouble.

There's a reason prison is hard, kid.

Tags: false remorse, prison is hard, murder

Who would have thought I would look back on Dennis "GOP Comedian" Miller with nostalgia? Jeezo the current Monday Night Football booth crew is pathetically terrible.

Joe Theismann, on his own, is an insufferable jackass.

Combine him with Tony Kornholer and you've got two gaping assholes in the booth and then Mike Tirico, no, not the white one who was a commentator on American Gladiators, the black one. Tirico's the only one who doesn't make me want to jab sixteen inch knitting needles in my ears.

Joe and Tony are almost as entertaining as watching ice melt. But the ice is frozen swamp water because they stink. Really.

They couldn't get anyone entertaining so they had hire Kornholer? He's like your jerky uncle with the furry ears who has lots of "war stories" about football games back when helmets were like leather yarmulkes.

At least tonight's game was interesting although I'd picked the Panthers to win it, who knew Jeff Garcia was going to have a great game? The other upside? The Panthers contained Brian Westbrook just enough for me to win my fantasy league game. I'm talking I barely squeaked out the win by less than 2 points. Another forty yards on the ground or in the air and I'd have lost. Yeeha! Oh, and I absolutely crushed my opponent in the other league I play in.

Tags: MNF, football, worst crew ever, Tony Kornholer

Today's new word came about from a mispelling but it really works quite well.

cordespondence - despondent correspondence, i.e. sad letters sent home from someone in a tough situation without much hope. An alternate spelling would be cordespondence but I think its harder to parse out that way.

New words are available at both the Fictionarium and The IP Fictionarium.

Tags: cordespondence, fictionarium, new words, inventing language, NWotD

The Giants Sign Rich Aurilia

Rich was one of my favorite Giants when he was with the team and I was bummed when they let him get away. He's got a nice bat and is an excellent (and versatile infielder). I don't think this bodes well for Omar Vizquel coming back though and that's a shame because he was an astonishingly awesome shortstop. But you never know. [Update: My mistake, Omar has already signed, Ray Durham has signed and they just signed Pedro Feliz which means Rich will be playing first most likely and the Giants infield defense will be SOLID!]

I do wonder if Bonds will be back. It would be appropriate to see him break the home run record as a Giant but he's going to want at least $15 million and, sorry Barry, you're just not going to put up the numbers to warrant such a huge paycheck.

I like football and all but man, I can't wait for baseball to roll around again!

I've been Johnny Huh on this blog for a very long time now and I've been thinking more and more that I would just as soon take my words as my own.

So, with that in mind, Hi, my name's Erik. We'll leave it at that for now. Baby steps and all.

Why have I decided to out myself after four and a half years of blogging under a pseudonym? A combination of reasons really. Not the least of which is because I am often quite proud of things that I've written here and on my other blogs (no, not everything because I have used this place as a vent and sometimes I'll write things I may not fully mean when I'm blowing off some steam).

It remains to be seen if writing under my real name puts some binders on what I write and who I write about. I already censor myself and don't share quite alot of my life here, I don't talk about my family often, I don't discuss my work (except my old company and they totally deserve it) and I don't get into personal problems very often.

The hard part is going to be republishing the whole blog and pulling the Johnny Huh out of it. There are so many posts here that it usually fails before it completes. Which is part of the reason that I'm scared to migrate to Wordpress or somewhere else, I don't want to get half my posts caught in limbo.

Anyway, I've already started posting comments on other blogs as myself.

Tags: outing, taking ownership., pseudonym, Johnny Huh, personal responsibility

Mother Duck and Ducklings find out what drainage grates are all about.

UPDATE: Britney Spears really wants you to see her crotch.

'Nuff said. And yes, the pics are totally NSFW.

The funny part? Paris Hilton is trying to help her keep her legs closed. I guess Paris doesn't like competition for trashy photos of "celeb" pooty.

[Update: In an effort to deflect some of the bare coochie criticism, Teh Brit went out and spent $3800 on underwear. It remains to be seen (and photographed) whether she will wear the undies.]

[Update #2: The Gallery of the Absurd's 14 has published another new masterwork entitled, The Three Disgraces that perfectly sums up the bizarre love triangle between Teh Brit, Paris and Lindsey Lohan. One of these days I'll have to figure out why I actually kind of like Lindsey. I've never been able to actually sit down and parse it out, maybe its the freckles? Anyway, go check it out. It is almost guaranteed to make you laugh.]

I came across a great flash game called Stick Cricket via SportsFilter this past week and I've been having a ball playing it. That is, once I figured out how to hit the damned ball properly.

Its a good time and a good way to waste some time, if you happen to have some.

Tags: cricket, flash, game, fun

Survivor: Cook Islands continues to make my Thursday nights entertaining and fun.

Last night's episode was all about the tables turning on the previously dominant tribe, Rarotonga, that had surged to 8 members when two of the Aitu tribe members were given the opportunity to mutiny. Candice and Jonathan had jumped ship and it looked like the Raro tribe was going to steamroll the little 4 member tribe out of the game.

But nope, a series of losses and a double elimination vote made the game much closer. And, in last week's show, the four member Aitu tribe turned Jonathan back to their side and they took the dominant position in the newly merged tribe.

Which, of course, pissed the hell out of the, now three, remaining Raro tribe members, Parvati, Candice and Adam. And how did they react? Like idiots.

By the way, as an aside, have you ever noticed how similar immunity and mutiny are? It gave rise to a new term I have just invented, immutiny - immune from mutiny. Yes, I will be adding it the Fictionarium when I get a chance.

Anyway, the three were bitchy and annoying and didn't do anything to help their situation by going and laying down to play kissy face in the tent while the others got food, water and collected firewood. So when Jonathan came back with a couple of fish, he asked if they had to share it with the three who did nothing. The five decided not to and Candice was a real bitch about it. She started flinging around her anger and put words in Yul's mouth, which he promptly told her not to do as he could speak for himself.

Oh yeah, the "reward" challenge wasn't a challenge at all, it was an auction where folks got $500 to bid on goodies. The rule here was bid early because the auction ends fast. Jonathan scored the food, both a hot dog and fries with a beer (that he spilled about a quarter of) and then an entire pepperoni pizza. And Becky won the ability to send someone to Exile Island immediately and she sent Candice the mutineer back to the island for another night alone and hungry. Her short interview while she was out there was lame, she missed her big, doofy boy and that is was sad that people she liked were treating her so badly. Not once has she recognized that she screwed them and they have every right to be pissed off.

And, at the tribal council, they sent her packing. Which was fine. Now the Raro tribe is down to Adam and Parvati, both are lame asses and I'll be happier when they're both gone. Parvati in particular has demonstrated a pretty galling lack of an inability to self-reflect on her own actions and has no problem ripping on others.

This is turning into one of the more entertaining Survivor seasons. More so now that the lame tribe of goofballs and slackers is being whittled out.

Inspired from this season of Survivor, today's new word is....

immutiny - immune from mutiny.

New words are available at both the Fictionarium and The IP Fictionarium while I effect the complete migration to Wordpress.

Tags: immutiny, fictionarium, new words, inventing language, NWotD

Not So Silly String In Iraq where Marines are using it to test doorways for barely visible trip wires. Which is pretty frickin' cool. Nice to know that a silly party novelty is actually saving lives.

This only further confirms that conclusion.

Techdirt: Epson Succeeds In Stopping Competitors From Making Compatible Ink Cartridges because they call it a patent infringement. The reality is that its their profit margin infringement.

Epson sells their printers super cheap and then charges truly outrageous prices for replacement cartridges (the ones that come with the printer have small ink reserves so you have to pony up pretty soon).

Epson blows.

Tags: epson, printer, ripoff, competition, ink cartridges

Have you noticed a radical upswing in the volume of spam lately? Unless you're on Gmail then you have probably been dealing with twice as much or more spam. CNN has a report that 9 out of 10 e-mails are now spam. Which sucks. Spammers should be drawn and quartered (not really but damn, why do people have to wreck everything).

Forwarded on by my big sister.

And yes, I am aware that spam would cease to exist if it didn't accomplish some economic goal. But if you're sending out 50 million emails to get one hit then maybe you should reconsider your line of "work".

Tags: spam, overrun, wrecking the internet, jerks