Intellectual Poison

Every so often I find myself wanting to drop my Johnny Huh pseudonym and blog with my real name. My reasoning is often nebulous and obscure but I am wondering what the small cadre of readers who read this blog.

There are some decent reasons for not disclosing my real identity but there are also some compelling reasons for dropping the charade.

What do you readers think?

Tags: blogging, pseudonym, identity, disclosure

U.S. bans sale of iPods to North Korea to show Kim Jong Il (you know, the Korean Michael Jackson impersonator) feel bad or something.

Gawd, my government embarrasses the hell out of me. Make it stop, make it stop!

The iPod Vibrator was bound to happen. Its integrated audio circuitry converts the beat and rhythm of their favorite tunes into vibrations, creating a stimulating, nonrepetitive vibration while they listen.

Kind of a cool idea, really.

There are links to the manufacturer's site and, of course, the blog and even an online forum to help enhance the experience for noobs.

This morning's Morford is a corker (and he'd probably add that its nestled in his bum while he sips Raspberry wine and feeds his lover grapes).

Abstinence message goes beyond teens and all the way up to 29 year olds. Which makes me wonder just what kind of juiced up crack these fools are smoking? I mean, is it crack laced with mothballs and a sprinkling of foot powder or something?

The Bush administration is spending $50 million to spread the word that abstinence is a good thing and should be undertaken by everyone until they are 30.

The shocking thing in the link? That only 90% of 20-29 year olds have had sex. That means there are alot more 30 year old virgins than I'd have ever thought.

The rationale behind this incredibly stupid waste of money? Children born out of wedlock. Because we all know that children born to single moms grow up to be scumbags. Come on, Bushie, this is beyond ridiculous and lapses over into whacked out nutjob insanity.

Sure, California winter makes you northerners sneer and laugh, with good reason, but I could use your warm thoughts because today is the coldest day of the year in the Bay Area. The layer of frost on the cars outside is thick and foreboding. And I am riding my motorcycle into work because I'm sick of sitting in traffic for forty-five minutes each way.

Yes, a motorcycle in late, late November.

I hope my hands don't freeze off because that would make it hard to type or eat or do much of anything.

Tags: motorcycle, commute, coldest day, frost

What's the most dangerous time to be out on the highway? The evening of Thanksgiving because of all that tryptophan coursing through everyone's bloodstream and making heavy heads and eyelids all over the place.

I had to drive the family home after a really nice Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws. A low key dinner but that was perfect for us. I only wish there had been a couple of kids around for Grady to play with. And, oh yeah, that my wife had chosen not to eat the poison stuffing. It was only mildly poisoned but still, puking is no fun. The worst part? She brought some home, ate it the next day and got sick the next night again. Which made it really easy to figure out what was causing the trouble.

But the drive home was rough. Two sleeping children in the backseat, a sleepy wife (though she had no turkey and was just tired) and a sleepy driver. The first part of the drive took every trick in the book to not close my eyes and drift off into the median for a nappy.

I did my best to not partake in Black Friday sales madness. But I had made myself a deal. If I was woken up by either child on Friday morning before the sales started then I would head up to Staples to see about getting my hands on a great, great deal for a new monitor. Sure enough, Sully woke up at about 5:30, I gave him a bottle and put him back down and then went up to Staples to see what I could see.

There had been a line before the doors opened and people were going a little nuts inside. But I did get a monitor for a steal of a deal. I should have also picked up a 1 gig USB drive for $7 after rebates but I just wanted to go back home and lay back down.

Oh yeah, I also picked up four magnetic baskets for pens that go on white boards because they were marked down more than 90%. All four for $2 when they should have cost $25. Bam!

Jesuffocation - suffocating on Jesus or the Jesusification of the nation during the yule.

New words are available at both the Fictionarium and The IP Fictionarium while I effect the complete migration to Wordpress.

Tags: jesuffocation, fictionarium, new words, inventing language, NWotD

Okay, I did my best to avoid the massive Black Friday drive to spend, spend, spend and then borrow some to spend some more. And I was mostly successful.

But I had made a deal with myself the night before. If either of my two boys woke me up before the 6 am start of the crush, I would roll out to Staples to see if I could score me a nice deal on a new LCD monitor (which is no longer listed on their site or I'd link to it).

Sure enough, Sully, woke up hungry at about 5:30 and, after a bottle, a burp and a tuck back into bed, I got dressed and drove up the street to Staples. The place wasn't a complete madhouse but it was close. There had been a line to get in and the deals they were dealing were scary good. I could have easily dropped a whole crapload of money before 7 am. But I was resolute and firm and hunted down the one item I knew I wanted and needed.

After wandering the monitor aisle for a little while (hey, nice rhyme!), I waited in line to ask someone where the hell the sweet monitor deals were. No, I'm not lying, there was a line to ask someone a question. It was a short line but it was a line all the same.

I got the proper info and made my way over to wait in another line, this time with only one buyer in front of me. They'd given out vouchers for the monitors to the people waiting before the doors opened and I wasn't so sure I was going to end up getting the monitor. But the guy checked and they had plenty enough to sell me one without the voucher.

So I walked out with a slick new monitor that is gorgeous and totally kicks ass. Its a 19" widescreen LCD made my Samsung and it is bright, beautiful and gives me alot more screen real estate to play with. I'm very pleased with the purchase and feel just a little guilty for not abstaining from the shopping altogether.

Also, did you know that Samsung is really easy to misspell as Sams Gun? Freaky!

And tonight, I got my receipt out to get it ready to mail in for my rebate and read through it. The best part? An URL for Staples Easy Rebates which let me punch in some info from the receipt, add my mailing info and bam, done! Which really puts the kick ass in KICK ASS! Easy rebates make me happy.

Unlike having to get my ass up and into work an hour earlier tomorrow morning which means I've gotta get to bed.

Tags: Staples, Black Friday, LCD monitor, Easy Rebates

Couple is unrepentant about sale of Katrina home given them by a church on the basis of the belief that they had lost everything during the hurricane. The couple never moved in and turned around and sold the house for cash.

Some thoughts, the couple involved are scumbags capitalizing on good will but the church people got taken because they didn't use a contract. Even a simple contract would have prevented the people from taking possession without any intent to occupy the building. But the church gave it away free and clear and, though Delores Thompson is a scumbag for doing it, there wasn't anything illegal about it, apparently. Legal proceedings are expensive, maybe they should just drain her of the $88K she took from them though that means dropping a whole bunch more money. But then, I'm not a church group giving away houses to the needy, they may have a different perspective.

But who knows, people like her should be caught and punished for being such utterly contemptible humans.

Tags: scam, Katrina, big brass balls

Today's new word is...

Minace - a minimal menace. Maybe more like an annoyance.

New words are available at both the Fictionarium and The IP Fictionarium while I effect the complete migration to Wordpress.

Tags: minace, fictionarium, new words, inventing language, NWotD

Mark McGwire Goes on Hall of Fame Ballot along with Cal Ripken Jr. (no brainer), Tony Gwynn (another no brainer) and Jose Canseco (no brain).

Call this ballot, the Saviour and the 'Roided Up Bash Brothers. Cal is a no doubt about it shoe-in for the Hall. McGwire shot himself in the foot with his non-answer answers during the congressional hearings and Jose Conseco has about as much of a chance at the hall as I do.

But what do you think? Should McGwire get in? I don't think so given his admission of using Andro, the allegations by Canseco and his refusal to answers during the hearings. But I'm interested in alternative viewpoints so let's hear'em.

Best Buy has launched a salvo in the continuing War on Christmas (queue the dramatic music and Bill O'Reilly's smarmy mug).

And that's fine by me. I don't really take offense at greeters who say Merry Christmas unless they're also trying to hand me some literature and pull me aside to discuss my personal relationship with god. But those folks are usually pretty easy to dodge.

Nah, the Jesusification of the holiday is less irritating to me than the crass mercantile aspect. The everything-is-a-gift mentality that just goes beyond good taste or even rational thought, do people really give mops as presents? Do people really want spray on oven cleaner when they unwrap something under the tree?

I don't think so, at least I hope not. That would be kind of sad, I think. I like my Christmas to be kind of cool combined with kind of useful.

Tags: Christmas, War on Christmas, jesusification

I just read Andy Inhatko's "review" of Microsoft's shit brown music player, the Zune. The summary, the Zune is bad enough to evoke a sort of pity because it sucks so royally.

But it does remind that my own iPods are getting a little long in the tooth and might be looking at an upgrade before too long. I'd like one of them fancy color screen video player models. But mostly so I can load up and play Doom on it.

Microsoft could have hit this out of the park, they could have come in with the real iPod killer mp3 player/recorder/camera/etc.

What features does the iPod killer media player have anyway?
Here's my list: An open OS, open media formats, immersive video out, bluetooth, wifi and not only FM but AM, shortwave, police and CB radios, the ability to record any and all transmissions. What did I miss? Cell-phone networking so callers hear the music you're listening to instead of a ring. Holographic projection for 3d video conferencing. A light saber. Definitely a phaser, usually set to stun but occasionally cranked up to kill just to let people know you're serious. Um, that would about do it. But hey, why not a PS3 built-in too.

Of course, doing all that would make the sucker worth about ten thousand bucks so it would have to have self defense capabilities to repel muggings and pick pockets. Maybe just a force field that numbs body parts "caught" inside the perimeter when its turned on. And, since we're pretty well beyond any reasonable conjecture anyway, how about a jet pack too? Put it into a special boot holster and fly away. Okay, now I'm done.

Unless it can also shoot a beam that turns people into the animal their personality most closely resembles.

Tags: iPod, Zune, failure, features

Polish Exchange Student in US: My Half-Year of Hell With Christian Fundamentalists.

This would totally suck. I can't believe there aren't religious preferences listed on the application forms for both sides. This isn't a low-budget version of Wife Swap, this is some kid's first and, very likely, only exposure to the US and he gets sent to Bible-humping hell.

I've said it before and I will say it again. People with deeply held religious beliefs that they do not examine and firmly believe that believing other than their religion means you burn in hell are fucking idiots. Unexamined beliefs that are that central to your person and personality and worldview are deeply, deeply, flawed prisms with which to view the world.

That applies to fundies, agnostics, buddhists and everyone else. Examine your belief system now and again. Think of it like going to a spiritual optometrist, if you are using bad lens then your world view will be skewed. It can be fixed. But it does take an open mind, sorry about that.

Tags: religion, exchange student, christian fundamentalists, hell

Imagini™ Gift finder is unlike many others in that it uses pictures to find out what the person you looking for might be interested in. The downside is that its in the UK and the links to the stores are in the UK. But some of the stuff they come up with is interesting and cool.

And, after I'd run through the quiz phase for my wife, showed her a couple of the items it came up with and all three were hits. Anecdotal? Sure, but its good anecdotal.

Tags: gift finder, imagini, image based,

Well, I can finally say that I have completed Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Or, well, I killed the last guy and then the credits ran. There were still quite a few things left undone, like the collection of the clams or spraypainting all of the gang signs.

But I have done it. It remains to be seen whether or not I go back and play the game very much anymore now that I have defeated it. I've got a couple of others I wouldn't mind completing as well.

No, no new PS3 in my near future. Eventually, sure. But right now I've got a bunch of other things to take care of. And my PS2 is pretty cool for what I need.

Tags: PS2, GTA:SA, Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas, completion, video game

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and we are not going to be able to make the trek back to my New England roots this year to spend it with my rather enormous and crazy and wonderful family and extended family.

It bums me out to think that we will be missing the festivities this year but there's really no way I could justify the expense for the shortness of the trip. Not with three plane tickets needing to be purchased (since Grady is over 2 and needs his own seat), a car rental, either renting there or bringing along not one but two car seats, kenneling Nande for the four or five days and then just the overall insanity of packing and leaving. Its really too much work and expense for a short trip in time but a very long trip in distance.

I will miss the pies though, oh the glorious table covered in pies, all kinds of pies too. Grasshopper, apple, pumpkin, strawberry, strawberry-rhubarb and many, many more. The pie table is a thing of beauty, like the bonfire and lasagna night. I will miss the traditions that my family engages in for this funky and fun holiday.

I am, however, looking forward to a nice long weekend without the hecticness of travel and movement and everything. We're going up to my in-laws for dinner tomorrow and I am reserving the right to sleep in on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

But maybe I'll make a pie to enjoy with my family out here.

Tags: Thanksgiving, family, pie, holiday

Join me in welcoming Tiffany and Scott's first born, Roland. A pretty good looking kid!

Congratulations!

Tags: blown fuse, baby, birth, congratulations

Unless ya'all are in Texas. I keeed, I keeed.

Michael Richards may be all contrite after his on-stage racist rant recently. And maybe he really does feel genuinely bad about being such an asshole in response to a heckler.

I can't imagine its the first time he's been heckled. Nor the first time he displayed some pretty ugly racist thoughts.

He was marginally funny on Seinfeld and has done nothing beyond that show really (oops, I was mistaken on that front). And now he gets to go sit on the hater side of the bus with Mel Gibson.

Intellectual Properties reminded me that Friday is Buy Nothing Day. It is traditionally, the biggest shopping day of the year in the final run up to Christmas, that holiest of celebrations marked by the giving of gifts purchased with debt. Oh holy night.

We will avoid the nightmare rush and will only buy something if its an emergency, i.e. diapers, formula or bananas.

Lots more info to be found at AdBusters: BND 2006.

Last week, my wife borrowed a DVD from some friends for Graydon to watch. It was the movie, Cars, by Pixar and Disney. Since borrowing the disc, we've watched the movie at least once a day, one day we watched it two and a half times.

Graydon has also chewed through the box cover which forced us to buy a replacement copy so now he/we have our very own copy of video crack, I mean, Cars. My son goes to sleep asking to watch the movie, he wakes up asking to watch the movie.

Don't get me wrong, its a pretty good movie. A little telegraphed with the ending wrapping up so neatly but its a touching and incredibly well animated and dazzling effects movie. The writing is good, the storyline is decent and it sounds wicked in surround sound, especially the racing scenes. Some of the jokes are excellent, some of the scenes are inspired.

But I am becoming sick of it and I only get to see about half the movie each time.

So, thanks Pixar, thanks for making a product that my child begs to watch again, even if we're watching the credits from just watching it. Cars is kiddie crack. You have been forewarned.

And I'm sure this is just the tip of the video crack iceberg.

Tags: Cars, Pixar, Disney, kiddie crack

gizmag Article: Harnessing computer games to bring exercise to children and makes them maintain a certain workout level or the controller stops working and the game pauses.

Its a good idea and I hope that it will start to reverse the tide towards obesity that is an epidemic in this country.

I wouldn't mind a system like this for my own use though. I like the idea of "paying" for my play with sweat.

OJ 'confession': now US turns on Murdoch. You cannot fault the people for speaking out in massive numbers and demanding the OJ "If I Did It" interview to air. The short term result is that many local program managers are just opting out of airing it. Good. Nobody should see it, nobody should buy his sham of a book.

Universal and public rejection of him and his false confessions are the only reasonable response to OJ now. The unreasonable response ends badly for the Juice. But I am heartened by the outcry against this interview.

[Update: And the book deal and 2 hour interview deal arrrrrrrrreeeee.........dead. Good, nice to know that the people still have some power and can flex it from time to time. This was a bad idea from the get go and now the executives at Fox are well aware of that fact.]

Just got in from watching the UFC fights tonight. It was a good night fighting with a bunch of a good fights and the finale of Matt Hughes getting ripped apart by George St. Pierre. It was quality action all the way around, Hughes never really stood a chance. The end came quickly and Hughes said it best after the fight, "I thought it was a punch that got me and I didn't see it was a kick until I saw the replay," which is to say, he got rocked, hard.

After nearly finishing Hughes in the first round and the bell being the only thing that saved him, the second round started and GSP laid it on. His longer reach, quicker punches and just overall superior fighting ability saw him through to that shin to the side of the head, which dropped Hughes. Then he stepped in and started lay haymakers on him while he was on the ground. When GSP went to dropping elbows and Hughes didn't have his hands up to protect himself, the ref, Big John McCarthy, stepped in to stop it and to stop Matt Hughes domination.

It was an excellent, albiet brief, fight.

The other title fight was Tim Sylvia versus Jeff Monson. Heavyweights but very different guys. They battled for 25 minutes, well, they battled for 20 minutes and Tim coasted through the 5th round. Monson is five foot nine and weighs 235 pounds, he was built very, very powerfully. And he's a submission expert. The only thing is that Tim Sylvia is six foot eight and weighs 262 pounds. He was too large for Monson to submit when he did have the opportunity. And when Monson was on top of him, Sylvia could arch his back and Monson couldn't even reach Sylvia.

The moment in the fight where I knew Sylvia had him was when Monson was trying to throw bombs from above and Sylvia arched his back and the punch ran out of distance about four inches from his face. And Sylvia could still punch him. It was an amazing fight. The fifth round was a letdown and I don't think it was fair of the commentators saying Monson had emotionally tapped out, I think he was gassed and realized that beating a truly huge man is a different kind of battle.

There were other good fights too and it really made for a good fight night all the way around. We ended up sort of pissing off some friends who were having a party and trying to play some cards. But that's alright. We wanted to watch the fights, without distraction, without cards, without problems. And that's what we did.

Damn, it was a good night of fighting and I am very happy for George St. Pierre. I'd no idea Matt Hughes had been 42-4 going into the fight, that is an absolutely amazing professional record. More impressive than Rich Franklin's 22-1 before Anderson Silva demolished him. But Matt's career is, for the most part, on the wane. The new crop of fighters are purpose built for MMA (that's mixed martial arts) and they bring alot more skill and power than in the past).

The next big fight coming up is Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell giving Tito Ortiz another try. Chuck is my favorite fighter in the UFC, I like his style, I admire his ethic and I am awed by his power. And watching him finish an opponent is akin to seeing a wolverine tear apart some prey, he is hyper-aggressive and has devastating power in those fists.

Fight Night kicked ass!

Tags: UFC, GSP, George St. Pierre, Matt Hughes, Tim Sylvia

I'm too damned tired to go blogsploring tonight. I know, I know, the sadness is like a scratchy blanket that isn't quite long enough to cover your feet and let you keep it up tight to your head. I hate blankets like that.

It was a long week, I'll hit Day Five AND Day Six tomorrow.

And, oh yeah, tomorrow night is UFC Fight Night. I am very much looking forward to the Hughes/St.Pierre fight. I expect one helluva battle but I expect GSP will prevail in the end. Matt Hughes is a seriously impressive fighter but GSP's wants it alot more and has the size, power and skill to take the title from him.

G'Night!

Tags: blogsploration postponed, UFC, fight night, tag

PS3 Launch Marred by Violence. I saw one story where a store set up a contest of 60 people for ten consoles, one ended up getting his jaw broken, oops, that's what we call bad marketing.

You'd think the PS3 launch, sorry, that's Sony Playstation 3, was the second coming of Christ or something. And maybe, for some people, it is. For others, its a way to waste a few days and maybe make an insane amount of profit from people that have too much time, money and not enough brain cells.

Don't get me wrong, I want a PS3 just like every other gamer out there. But I'm not going to go camp out for two days, I'm not going to pay $9000 for one on Ebay and I'm not going to rob someone for one. I'm happy to wait a few months, maybe even a year if I have to, until I can go into Circuit City or Best Buy or get one online for regular retail, maybe even knocked down for the 2007 Christmas season.

People are out of the their freaking minds.

I have a question.

If you fart while urinating in a public or office building bathroom, should you excuse yourself or pretend like nothing happened?

Do the rules change if there's someone at the urinal next to yours and you know your farts smell like death rolled in swamp gas?

You know what sucks? Accidentally biting your lip while you are chewing on something.

You what sucks ten times as much? Accidentally re-biting the same spot five or six times in under an hour.

My lip would rebel and leave me, if it could. The inside of my lip is torn all to hell and hurts like shit. And I've got phone calls to make and meetings to set.

Damn you, full pouty lips, damn you straight to hell!

Tags: bite, biting, lip

Survivor: Cook Islands has now had back to back killer episodes! Last night's was better than last week's in some respects.

The tribe that lost two members to the mutiny is dominating in the challenges, having won four in a row since the mutiny. After the reward challenges they get to select someone to go the friendly confines of Exile Island and they've chosen the one who started the mutiny, Candice, twice. And she cried about it on Exile Island, not because she was miserable there but because she was upset because people she liked (but not well enough to stick with) don't like her. Boo-fucking-hoo, you turned your back on them and they're pissed, rightfully.

Four challenges, four wins by the tribe of four. And the last reward challenge they won was awesome, they were honored guests and a local feast with regalia, homebrew wine and dancing and fun. It was cool and funny to watch them have such a great time.

After the next challenge, that the smaller tribe won again. The losing tribe was given a sealed bottle and told not to open it until after the vote later that night.

They thought it would be a merge but it was actually an instant second purge. They had just lost one more member to a vote and now they had to vote again to kick someone out. Ouch. And now the mighty 8 person tribe is now a humbled 5 person tribe. And the four person tribe is stronger than ever because they work incredibly well together and have been kicking ass and getting the big, yummy food rewards which get more and more important the further into the game you go.

If you haven't been watching this season, you are missing something good.

Tags: Survivor, mutiny, purge, double elimination

I have no idea how I get along with the good gents over at the Mint 400, we disagree strongly on matters of politics, to the point where I thought that today would be the most difficult day of all during my week long blogsploration.

It was, however, the easiest of the bunch. Between the dead blogs and the right wing nuttery, it was simple to get down to the one link that I could and have read for a long time. I am, of course, talking about The Best Page in the Universe. Maddox kicks ass, knows it and doesn't mind telling you how much he kicks ass.

Good shit like his takes time to happen and sometimes many months will go in between posts. But that's alright, waiting is good for people.

The Day Four winner is Maddox and his Best Page in the Universe. And yes, I am fully aware that Maddox would thoroughly hate the word, blogsploration.

Tags: blogsploration, exploration, blog, The Best Page in the Universe, Maddox

The first blogs of the IP Universe have begun the slow movement from Blogger, Land of Outages and no-damned built in tags or categories to Wordpress, land of slickness and coolness.

The first blog to make the leap across the chasm between old and new is The IP Fictionarium. Check it out and let me know what you think. My favorite thing so far is the ability to tag my posts into categories so that, now, all of my invented words that start with A's can be found by clicking the A category.

Why has Blogger lagged so very, very far behind in enhancing its product? Isn't Google supposed to be all about making things better? I'm using the Blogger Beta and its still nowhere near as nice as Wordpress.

Tags: Wordpress, migration, old to new, Blogger

Emmit Smith Wins ABC's Dancing Title and one of the local news stations compared it to winning the Super Bowl. Sure, you can compare it. But its not even fucking close to winning the damned Super Bowl.

Why?

Well, let's see, he was competing against Mario Lopez of Saved by the Bell fame, not the Buffalo Bills.
Its a dance contest and not the biggest game of the season in the National Football League where he gained his fame and stature as a stud running back.
Its a dance contest with sequins, frilly lace and choreography, not organized mayhem with 300 pound linemen, wideouts and Troy Aikman. By the way, Emmitt Smith was the MVP of Super Bowl XXVIII (that's 28 to the Roman numerically challenged) and I can't imagine winning Dancing with the Stars even comes close to that.

Comparing the two is stupid. I'm glad he won but I think he'd trade that trophy in a heartbeat for another chance to play football at the level he used to. No question. But one thing I do know is that he's got too much class to admit as much.

Tags: Emmitt Smith, dancing is not football, Super Bowl, MVP

My mom sent this to me over the weekend and it strikes rather close to home, dontcha think?

The philosopher Bertrand Russell said, "All this madness, all this rage, all this flaming death of our civilization and our hopes, has been brought about because a set of official gentlemen, living luxurious lives, mostly stupid, and all without imagination or heart, have chosen that it should occur rather than that any one of them should suffer some infinitesimal rebuff to his country's pride."

Tags: Bertrand Russell, quote, pride

I was a little pressed for time on day three of my blogsploration, which was a bad idea to begin with and it quickly got much, much worse as I started to work through Rambling Rhodes and his blogroll that coders forgot. He's got more dead blogs and more, sorry dude, crap, than I had much stomach or time for. Seriously his Mu.Nu list is insane, unkempt and filled with much to much insanity (of course, if it had been filled with blogs that subscribed to my political point of view then it would be alot less annoying, maybe no less insane but alot less annoying).

It took some work and alot of poking through blogs that I don't really ever plan on looking at again (you can really only read so much political s