Thumbing My Non-Drippy Nose

I fart in your general direction, current cold virus that’s beating down on my wife and two kids and has circulated through my office like sniffly wildfire. And I thumb my nose at you too because I have, thus far, successfully avoided your mucousy and rattle-hacky-cough embrace.

I have picked up your tainted tissues, I have drunk from diseased glasses, I have washed my hands more often than should be healthy but I am staying healthy. I have invested in some cool new moisturizing anti-germ goo that feels good while it murders germs and bacteria by the millions. I have been taking extra Trader Joe’s Super Immunity Booster pills, I have been drinking my Ovaltine, I have been (trying to) get more decent sleep and I

And my chest is clear, my head is clear and my nose is unstuffed.

So take that, vile virus vermin!

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