The Utter Wrongness of Being Forced to Listen to Another Man Shit

Whoever designs bathrooms for office buildings should be forced to have to use them. Whoever designed the bathrooms in my office building, a shared bathroom model, should be shot. Maybe they should be shot out of a cannon and right into the disgusting sloppy ploppy buggers who inhabit my building.

I've been back at work for three weeks now and I know several of the men in my building by their shoes and by their toilet habits. Which is, well, disgusting.

There's wingtips and cougher guy, he has some issues with, um, loose stools.

There's brown shoes guy who likes a clean bowl before he does his business and then he's all business, wham, plop, wipe, wash, gone.

There's Coughy McCoughinstein. There's the Wheezer who sounds like he's having a heart attack as he grunts a nasty, heavy one plopper out.

And there's the Why Is This Door Locked I'll Try To Open It Five More Times guy, who, as you might guess, doesn't seem to be able to grasp that sometimes the bathroom stall he wants is occupado and he should just move on.

I hate sharing a bathroom with other people to begin with. But I have to share a bathroom with a whole bunch of people and now I know them by their crap habits. And their shoes.

And yes, this post is dedicated to Rambling Rhodes, home of the now quite famous Dirty Mushroom. And lots of disgusting humor.

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