Didja Ever Notice?

Did you ever notice how similar tired and tried are? I tired of trying so hard. I tried too hard and am tired. I feel like I'm sitting in the bottom of a huge barrel with just a peephole of sunlight above. I feel like I'm carrying a burden too great to carry but I have to and I have to keep carrying it no matter what. I feel overwhelmed, overtired, overwrought, overextended and just over it.

I'm tired of everything, I'm tired of everyone, I'm tired of looking at housing here and seeing shitholes being sold for a half a million dollars. And decent houses selling for three quarters of a million dollars. I'm tired of the world feeling ridiculously fucking expensive.

I'm tired of everything reducing down to dollars and not having enough of them. I'm tired of knowing that I could work 24 hours a day, seven days a week and still not even be close to having enough. I'm tired of knowing this and lots of other things.

I'm tired of being woken up in the middle of the night by a screaming child, crying baby or by my wife shifting in the bed. I'm tired of our bed that's not comfortable enough to get a good night's sleep on and knowing that a new bed will cost a minimum of a thousand bucks.

I'm tired of the whole goddamned thing. I'm tired of the fucking Yankees winning. I'm tired of the Giants losing and the Dodgers winning. I'm tired of hearing about Terrell Owens already. I'm tired of Chris Berman's voice.

I'm tired of the media deciding what's important for the people to know about and getting it totally fucking wrong. I'm tired of the politicians blowing their goddamned wind around and calling it change. I'm tired of the false war on terror, I'm tired of the lies used to sell it to the people working.

I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of construction on Highway 1, I'm tired of assholes in trucks blocking the center lane that bikers use to get through traffic. I'm tired of dipshit weasel faced idiots in sported out crapwagons playing awful music at ridiculous volume to show how cool they are. I'm tired of reading about homeless people stabbing each other.

I'm tired of worrying about how I'm going to care for my family. I'm tired of everything in California getting more and more goddamned expensive and with absolutely no end in sight. I'm tired of needing to squeeze my workouts in. I'm tired of not having my hot tub full of hot water and ready for me to relax into after a long day. I'm tired of fighting everything. I'm tired of analyzing everything. I'm tired of having to wonder if my asshole neighbors are going to be out in their garage and I'll have to pretend we have a normal relationship. I'm tired of their fucking dog limping over to my yard to take its shits on my front lawn. I'm tired of their loser friends blocking my driveway because they're too goddamned stupid to give a fuck about anyone but themselves.

I'm just goddamned tired and would really like a good solid night of sleep every now and then. But I've got a workout to get to first.

Oh yeah, I'm tired of not being able to ride my bicycles anymore too. Maybe I'll try harder to get some riding time in but its hard to do with the kids, the dog and the wife all having higher priorities.

And I'm tired of goddamned Technorati's ping completely ignoring updates on my blog for the last four months and then not even working when I manually ping from their site. And I'm tired of waiting for their support to get back to me.

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