Dear Giants Management

Dear Brian Sabean, Larry Bahr and Felipe Alou,

Please stop expecting Armando Benitez to do his job. The guy sucks, he has been one of the worst trades for the Giants organization in years and is nowhere near worth $6 million a year. If I were you, I'd demand a refund.

How many saves in a row has he blown? How many games in the current six game, about to be seven game, losing streak are his fault? Too many for a guy making the kind of money he is making.

So here, instead of just complaining about him, I'll offer a solution. Let me close for the Giants. I could hardly do a worse job and my hamstrings are still attached to my ass, unlike Benitez and his gimpy old beat-up body. I've got a high 80's fast ball and I can promise you that no player has ever seen me pitch and I'll finish out the season for you for a mere $200,000, a fraction of what is being paid Benitez.

Please, please bench the fool or use him in middle relief so the team has a chance to fix his errors. While I am quite happy with the acquisition of Hillenbrand, you traded away the only other decent closer prospect in Jeremy Accardo.

Oh yeah, and please have Felipe talk to Pedro Feliz about that first pitch swinging garbage, in two games on this road trip he saw eight total pitches in eight ABs and didn't get a hit at all. He needs to be more patient and actually swing at decent stuff instead of hacking and hoping.

I expect that you will get this sorted out before next Friday when I am coming up for the game against the Rockies. If not then give me a call and I'll start working on my slideball.

Johnny Huh

PS. If money is tight, you can sign my two year old to close for a mere $100,000. He can't make it to the plate all the time but at least he'd be cheap and he's awfully cute too.

[Update: Yep, its official, Benitez has now caused the seventh straight loss for the Giants. How many more before Felipe benches him in favor of the bat boy?]

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