4.10.2006

Eau de Cheap

The new commercials for TAG, a low end cologne spray, are excellent and, I'm sure, have resulted in much increased sales.

The ads are for their new portable spray cologne that, if the commercials are to be believed, will turn any loser into the ultimate chick magnet. Just because he smells like something better than he did before. And commercials can't lie, right? So this stuff is going to make every man in the universe so outrageously hot that women will spontaneously combust.

And the ads are good. Dude walks by cheerleading practice, deploys the cheap spray and is gang tackled by hotties with lust in their eyes. Next scene is at a car wash where the women's just go insane for the guy even though he's sprayed himself inside his car and the girls can't even smell the spray. But it doesn't matter because car wash girls are Teh Hawt. Another scene is dude spraying himself all over in school and a gaggle of schoolgirls that look like the fantasy Catholic schoolgirls in pleated plaid skirts and white button down shirts, mob him for some lovin'.

I should note that I've not smelled TAG's spray, nor do I have any wish to smell it. I mean, it might be powerful enough to turn me gay if it gets all the women within a hundred feet all hot and bothered. Or maybe it's just marketing?

[Update: I don't even know what the deal is with the Order of the Serpentine commercials that purport to clean your body and mind of poor choices for bang partners. Those commercials, in my estimation, are utterly stupid and I hope they don't sell a single bottle of their schlock shower gel.]

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