Greatest (or Worst) Understatement EVAR!

Warning, this link is to a BBC article about a man getting arrested because a dog was sodomizeing him along the side of a road, do not click it if that thought makes you want to run from the run screaming like someone set fire to your hair, you have been warned.
"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him."

And let it be a warning to all you folks who are planning on getting tanked up tonight. Don't pass out on the side of the road or you may wake up being some dog's girlfriend. Well now he's got a year to try and piece together where his night went so wrong as to end up with him getting rogered along the side of a public road by a dog. Wow, that's a messed up way to wake up!
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