7.19.2005

The Next Nine Harry Potter Books!

So, because I know the demand for insider HP knowledge (not Hewlett-Packard, Harry Potter) I spent most of the weekend hacking into J.K. Rowling's pretty Powerbook to see if I could find out anything new. And did I ever hit the motherlode! I don't want to waste all the goodies right out of the gate so I'll detail a little bit right now and add more as I can.

Here are the next six or seven or eight Harry Potter books with as much of a description as was available:
Harry Potter and the Regurgitant Sorority Girl - which must be about HP's fraternity years.
Harry Potter and the Hairy Potter - Based around a Mr. Hanky type of character and lots of scatalogical humor.
Harry Potter and the 8 Beer Funnel - peer pressure can be a bitch, or you can just wake up next to one or feeling like one.
Harry Potter and the Locked Liquor Cabinet - no summary available here.
Harry Potter and the Unlockable Bra - trials and tribulations of a horny young mage and one of "those" bra clasps that refuses to grant entrance to funland.
Harry Potter and the Locked Bathroom Door - in which HP learns about his own magical wand.
Harry Potter and the Pseudo-Gay Fraternity Initiation - spanking's not just for naughty little boys anymore.
Harry Potter and the LASIK Procedure - this one had several question marks where the summary would be so this is perhaps not a real story.
Harry Potter and the Freak Power Party - an homage to the late and great (and soon to be a cannon shot ash cloud) Hunter S. Thompson.

There was some other stuff in there but who's interested in seeing JK Rowling naked anyway? I hope this helps everyone plan their next seven or eight years of their life, you can send your preorders to me and I'll be sure to let you know when any of these titles become available.

[Update: I read a pretty startling stat today and had to share, J.K. Rowling is bringing down more than 100m pounds a year now because of her Harry Potter books and merchandising. That is a pretty insane amount of money and tells me that hey, maybe I should be looking more into writing the few kids books we've mapped out. Just a question of getting the art done and finding some outlets to sell the books.

A hundred million pounds a year seems higher than it should be but I guess they sold 7 million copies of the Half Blood Prince in the first day so maybe that's not so nuts.]
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