4.13.2005

The Cheese is Fierce and Unrepentant

Time for last week's Cheddar X just in time for this week's Cheese.

What are you least likely to do?
I'm least likely to do anything that jeopardizes my son's future.

Who's life is better than yours and what makes it so great?
Anyone who's kids are through the teething stage is living better than we are right now. They get to sleep.

What does "How ya doing?" really mean?
I think it really means, get out of the way, you're blocking the sidewalk, I've got places to go and things to do and I really don't need to hear about your sore knee.

Why would someone say something as stupid as "Does a bear shit in the woods?"?
Because they are either a. too drunk to come up with something else, or b. too stupid to think for themselves so they have to speak in cliches and platitudes.

Would you rather be super strong or super smart? Would you trade that to be able to
fly?
Super strong, I've already gone the super smart way and it just doesn't get the chicks like being able to bench press a truck. And yes, I'd trade it in a heartbeat to be able to fly.

When wheels spin, why do they look like they're going backwards?
I think it has to do with a defect in our eyes where we're unable to process the flashing information so quickly and it becomes an optical illusion. Unless the wheels are those damned spinners.

What kind of a person would say "Well, you can't get there from here."?
Definitely someone from my old hometown in Vermonth where they delighted in subtly insulting them stupid New Yawkers who came through in their fancy cars and didn't know where they were going on their way to Woodstock for brunch.

Does something that smells good attract you more quickly than something that looks good?
If its food, then yeah, smell's more important. But if I were still single and I smelled a pretty lady before seeing her, I'd still have to see her before deciding she's a pretty lady.

Complete this sentence: Hoo-doggy, I tell you what.......
That boy ain't right.

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