3.30.2005

Lame Tag Line

You know how pretty much everyone on the radio or tv news has a tagline, their personal sign off? Walter Cronkite's "And that's the news," [Update: As Libertine was kind enough to point out, I munged Cronkite's line, it should be "And that's the way it is...". I was reasonably close though!] the fake news on Saturday Night Live, "Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow,", Ron Burgundy's "You stay classy, San Diego". There are some good ones out there. But there are some bad, bad, bad ones as well.

The worst one I know of is off of 680 KNBR, the Bay Area sports radio, and comes from Ralph Barbieri who has The Razor and Mr. T show with Tom Tolbert.

His signoff line? "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly."

My response is, what in fuck does that have to do with sports radio or signing off or anything? LAME, Ralph, extremely lame. I hope Tommy gives you shit about that every night after you're off the air. Not that Tolbert's much better with his constant shilling for McDonald's (way to peddle fast food poison, Tommy!) and SleepTrain and whoever else he sells for when he's not off covering boring ass basketball games.

Also, KNBR would be alot more listenable during the day if they finally and for good got rid of Gary Radnich. The guy is either shouting at his guests or such a fawning douchebag he might as well be blowing them during commercial breaks. He brings nothing and just makes me change the station whenever I hear his gravel voiced shouts. And his promo ads do absolutely nothing to encourage me to listen to him, him singing a song so badly it actually makes me ears hurt or him shouting over a guest until the guest gives up. Nice, that'll make me interested in what you've got to say, you jerk. Give it up, retire and write sports columns or something just get off the radio and let people with something to say have a try.

I do have one further request for KNBR. Can your advertising sales guys please, please, please get some different ads running? I'm about ready to kill when I hear the same stupid ads for refinancing options to cash out my equity in my house. The ads are irritating and repetitive, enough so that I can mock them right in time. I usually just change the station though. Seriously, are there that many people that don't know they can refinance their homes? Do those people not know that all these refinance deals are really scams for the most part? Refinance your house and just make interest payments on it because, that way, your lender will always make money off your dumbass and you will never, ever OWN your house. Interest-only means you never pay down the principle. It's about the dumbest thing possible for a homeowner to do. Get some damned new ads or cut down on the repeat rotation of the shitty ads you're already running.

And someone please get a new tag line for Ralph. Also, tell him to shut the hell up every so often and let people speak. He cuts people off as a matter of course and I'd love to hear a guest in the station smack him upside the head and say "Excuse me, I wasn't finished yet. Wait your damned turn you little Italian Michelin Man looking punk bitch."

Then again, maybe I listen to too much sports radio during my commute. Some days its just easier to plug in the iPod and groove along on home.

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