2.16.2005

Bumper Sticker Road Rage

Okay, let's try this again now that Blogger's removed its head from its ass (after trashing a perfectly good post this morning, fuckers).

I had a lovely commute this morning, for the most part, with the exception of one cockface. I'm at a stoplight with cars behind me, the light changes and I see this big truck several hundred feet back, in the lane next to me, accelerate as if to rip past everyone and cut in front of me where the two lanes go to one.

So I made it so he couldn't exercise his willfull dickery (like that? its shiny and new) and, because he damned near hit my car anyway, I flipped him off twice, once for the first asshole move of self absorption, the second for nearly hitting me in his haste to cut me off.

And so, I would like to suggest some new bumper stickers to help contain and ease roadrage.

Quit Driving Like an Asshole

I'm sorry, did you just buy the highway because you drive like you own the fucking road.

How do you see out your ass?

Golden Rule of Commuting: Treat Others Like You Want to Be Treated, it isn't that hard.

DON'T Be Such a DICK!

Drive Nice! Play Nice! Be Nice!

I get it, you spent more on your car so that entitles you to behave like a douchebag?

I like the first one the best and there's the oldie but goodie "Are you stupid or just evil?" that needs to be a bumper sticker badly. Maybe I'll get a run of prints going and give them away.

My other driving pet peeve lately? Assholes who drive with their high beams on ALL. THE. TIME. They should be forced to live with those damned lights in their eyes. That and the HID (high intensity discharge) lights should be illegal to use if they are adjusted improperly and point up into oncoming traffic. They are too damned bright for that.

And please, haven't we all had enough of those unspeakably stupid thumper stereos that exist for no other reason save to force you to listen to their stupid thump, thump, thump.

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