Intellectual Poison

This'll be quick. No baby coming today (unless it decides to make its appearance of its own volition). We might still be going in tomorrow but we are more likely looking at a Friday morning trip to the hospital.

Main reason? Our doctor has five other patients about to give birth as well as us. And, while we could proceed with the plan, it makes more sense to let the others get taken care of and then we'll slip in.

So no baby today, most likely no baby tomorrow but that means that for damned sure, we'll be having that baby on Friday.

But P is doing well, her blood pressure is good, the baby is butt-up and head-down in the locked and loaded position for launch and its heartbeat is strong. So, our launch has been delayed by 24 hours due to a crowded birthing center.

No worries, I'm on leave as of 5 pm today so tomorrow will be a nice day to spend with my wife and my dog.

And other random stuff from this morning, the commute was super light which was nice because I'm in the truck today as there's some stuff in the office I want to take home with me like the cruiser. I stopped and got some coffee on the way in but couldn't drink any until the last few minutes because it was too friggin' hot. And I bought a scratcher to see if we can jump start Baby Huh?'s college fund.

This will also mark one of the last opportunities to toss your hat in the blue ring or the pink ring to guess what sex the baby will be. I'm still leaning towards a boy but that's probably a projection. P is leaning towards a girl. My sister is leaning towards a boy based on how P is carrying. P's family is leaning towards a girl and I think the majority of my family is leaning towards a boy although both my mom and sister have noted that they wouldn't mind buying new stuff for a little girl since we don't have a little girl in the family yet.

What do you think? And why?

MONTERREY, Mexico (Reuters) - A Mexican boxing champion beat up and hospitalized a gunman who shot at him outside a gym in a crime-plagued city on the U.S. border.
Prosecutors in Ciudad Juarez said a man armed with two pistols shot at light-heavyweight champion Arturo "The Graduate" Rivera as he left the gym early Monday.

Rivera, a stocky brawler with 16 knockouts from a 26-fight career and ranked 98th in the world, fought back with his fists and the attacker was treated in hospital for head injuries.

"The Graduate was unharmed in the attack, which we are treating as attempted murder, although we can find no motive," Mauro Conde, a spokesman for local prosecutor said.

And no, I am not making this up. I got it from iWon (where I've yet to win anything except for more free spins on the slot machine). The lesson learned is: If you're going to shoot at a prize fighter, hit him first or prepare to get your ass kicked good. Thus endeth the lesson and "The Graduate"'s disciple has graduated to a hospital stay followed by a lengthy prison stay.

With the pending birth of our first child, I am, understandably, filled with lots of questions, some concerns, some fears, some puppy dog excitement and just plain old impatience.

And when I dream, I dream of smooth channels, I dream of babies shooting forth from between women's legs, I dream of one hard push and it's all done. (Quit laughing, you mothers out there). I dream of my wife, a little sweaty, a little tired and rumpled up but looking more radiant and beautiful than ever, holding our child. I dream of our little family unit walking along the slough together.

I dream of the good and spend my waking hours thinking about all of the potential bads that can happen, might happen. My fears are not unfounded and that's another fear in and of itself. I fear the unknown, I fear the out-of-control-ness that is the hospital. I fear complications, I fear damage to the baby, I fear damage to P, I fear damage to myself if I pass out in the delivery room (its been known to happen and my own experiences with Vasovagal reactions tells me that it could happen again).

The roller coaster is just getting going again today and my emotional state and ability to work will be tested, again. Luckily, my work is understanding and we just happen to be getting some truly superb coverage and that's really my main metric my performance is measured by so its all good. And, in any case, I'll be out for the next three weeks as we bond with the new baby and P can rest and get her strength back.

We will know in just a few hours if P will be admitted into the hospital tonight or tomorrow morning but I do know that we're under 24 hours from the start time for the most difficult and rewarding event of our lives.

On a side note, the kitty was put down last night, she's being cremated today (jesus, I wrote creamed the first time, that's just gross) and we are going to plant a tree for her and mix her ashes in with the soil. Oh yeah, and Nande's paw is healing up although it looks a little nasty this morning after the walk.

Send the good vibes today. Ideally, P will be dialated a bit but not so much that they want to admit her to the hospital this afternoon. Tomorrow morning would be just fine.

Someone should have let Debra Beasley Lafave know that before she boinked one of her students repeatedly.

Oh yeah, she's 23 and he's 14. Nice work, Debra! I'm sure you'll just love prison.

Well, I just got off the phone with P and the news isn't good on the kitty. She's got pretty extensive and terminal cancer in her belly. We both knew she wasn't doing well but I had held out hope that she was just malnourished from her time outside the house. It appears that Nande has had very little to do with her rapid descent into sickness.

I'm just incredibly sad for Sydney, the kitty, and for P, who really doesn't need the extra stress of her cat that she's had for ten years dying on her the day before the most difficult experience of our lives.

But these things are rarely timed well and its just incredibly sad. I'm going to go by the kitty hospital at lunch and say my goodbye to her.

Just sucks all the way around.

And its not helped by P having to take Nande in to get her paw fixed up this afternoon either. Today should be a restful and easy day for her and, instead, its turning into an emotional roller coaster.

[Update: It gets worse, I just got back from taking my lunch at the animal hospital, saying my goodbyes to the kitty. She's so tiny and frail looking but she's still very much aware of the world around, her eyes are bright and still curious. Its just her body that's failing.

I signed the papers to have her put down.

This is probably going to go down on record as the worst lunch break I've ever had. And now I've got to interview someone for a job with our company, I'm sure this will be loads of fun.]

Don't click this pic I took this morning if you can't stand the site of blood, Nande Ouch Paw. She did this somewhere this morning and doesn't seem to be bothered by it in the least. She doesn't really like the claw to be touched but other than that, she doesn't care.

And so, on P's last full day off (well, not working at her regular job) she's got not one but two trips to the vet in her future. The kitty is not doing well at all after her return from living wild. I've been prohibited from taking pictures of her because she's so skinny and sad looking. I call her our Concentration Camp Kitty and just feel awful for her. P is taking her in to see if there's anything that can be done to help her out. I hope things get better for her.

And, last thing of the morning is BugMeNot.com, which is a cool site I was turned onto during the unravelling of the Plain Layne saga by Ryan, the guy who took over the domain names and spearheaded the archive project until Odin "I really cared about all my friends who thought I was a lesbian info-waif" Soli asked him to pull it.

Bug Me Not allows you to punch in any website and it will try to give you an anonymous login so you don't have to register for every stupid little site in the whole world.

ABCNEWS.com : High Court Slams White House wherein the Supreme Court brings the heavy big time smackdown upon the Bush Administration's suspension of the laws governing the taking of prisoners and interrogation (which is really just the polite term for torture) in order to wring information out of them.

The strange thing to me is the picture of George and Laura accompanying the story. I'm not sure but it looks like Laura is clucking her tongue and looking straight into the camera while George is holding her awkwardly with one hand on her neck and he's not looking at this particular camera.

Laura looks like she's mugging for MTV or something. She looks sassy and frumpy at the same time.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. No more electrodes on prisoner's nuts without due process, no more playing dress up or dress down with POW's, no more letting Lynndie England emasculate captives, no more big thumbs up from Sabrina Harmann, no more any of it, Mr. Bush. And that goes for you too, Donny.

I think Anthony Romero, the guy running the ACLU, says it best, "You don't simply hold people in a lawless void based on an executive say-so."

Are you ready for a stupid game?

Its called invasive pop-up inside the window game and you have no control over it. The way you play is just surf the web for a while until you come across a site that uses this stupid advertising tactic. Sites like iWon and Charter do this right now and I'm sure thousands of other sites came up with the incredibly stupid idea that an internal pop up window is better than a pop-under or pop-up.

The way it works is that a window inside the window pops up, usually with animation and sound (really nice if you're at work in a cube farm, I'm sure), selling some service or crappy little product. The one on iWon that got me going right refused to stay closed when I clicked the little, often hidden or hard to see X that closes the invasive little fucker.

I mean, now I HAVE to look at whatever bullshit they're hawking so I'm theoretically more likely to remember the product or company being shilled. Only problem is that I note the company or product and make a point to make sure to NEVER do business with these dickheads.

So, hey, nice work advertising idiots. Not only are you not going to "convert" me with your "cutting-edge" advertisements, you're going to turn me off from ever buying anything from your invasive little fucking company. And I'll tell people online and off about your poorly considered marketing methods.

Also, on a side note, can all the dumbasses putting together animated gifs layoff the seizure inducing flashy garbage? Nothing makes me want to find another resource than an over-hyper ad to "Knock out the Evil Kangaroo" or "Catch the Monkey" and then it flashes at very high speed and starts over. Its stupid, its potentially dangerous (I know I'd sue in a freakin' heartbeat if one of those ads caused me to have a seizure).

And on an unrelated side note rant. Can someone go over to AOL's headquarters and punch every single employee there? In the face preferably. I got a notice of a "package" in my mailbox and had to wait in line to get it. And it was yet another fucking stupid AOL CD. So I smashed it and threw it away, again.

And, totally off subject now, I just wanted to end the post with something a little more positive. I really, really like rueben sandwiches and they're even better when the rye gets toasted. Why Erik's Deli doesn't have a toaster is utterly beyond my comprehension. But Zoccoli's has one so that's where I went for my sandwich today.

Lily has reminded me that I need to post a little more in the way of a baby update as we enter this new week.

The news is that there really isn't news yet. We're still on schedule to go in on Wednesday for an appointment, they'll evaluate her and may admit her that night or Thursday morning.

Come Thursday morning, inducement drugs will be introduced into P and ten minutes later we'll have a baby, right? Oh no, it'll take a bit longer than that, we're both sure.

But I think we're pretty well prepared for the excitement. I know there are things I'm overlooking and will regret but we've got so many things going on right now that its easy to forget about one or two things.

We've got the big ones taken care of though. Bags are packed, camcorder's battery is charged and charged is packed. Snacks are ready to go and all we're doing now is waiting until Wednesday and then we can get the show on the road. We are hopeful that the baby does stick to the schedule as well but who can tell? This week ought to be a pretty crazy one, I think. Oh yeah, we've also got some short term living set up for Nande to go and stay with Modoc. She'll have a blast, I hope as it'll be the first time she'll be away from both P and me for a night.

But P is doing well, she's finally off work now but is planning on lots of stuff around the house, she's just not very good at relaxing and putting her feet up and taking it easy.

And, big excitement, we get a new load of furniture delivered today! Two dressers, a skinny TV/stand dresser and two bed side tables! Unfinished so we can match them all up with our already finished bedroom stuff. It will be really nice to have all of our stuff put away in such fine style even if we did buy it at that evil furniture place we said we'd never set foot back in again after the overly aggressive sales-assholes wouldn't leave us alone last time.

So, to sum up, baby's fine, P's fine, Nande's doing well although we may be having an issue with a little back sliding on her house training. I'm doing well although I could use a full day to do nothing but watch movies and sleep. And on that note, I've gotta get cleaned up and out the door for a chilly ride to work in the fog, oh boy!

America isn't Germany, its certainly not Nazi Germany and this bizarre and really pretty stupid Hitlerification of the election is both tedious and odious.

Let's get things nice and straight.

Bush isn't Hitler.

Kerry isn't Hitler.

Digital brownshirts are not instruments of Hitler (sorry Al).

Adolf is dead. His legacy of being the evil boogey man is being further secured by the slinging stupidity passing as political discourse. Arguments being waged in slag ads that focus not on what he has done but the faces of the enemy in the democratic party and slipping in a picture of Hitler just to insinuate to a scared populance that evil walks among us. The old evil, not the new evil that could be anyone and they might just have 40 pounds of explosives strapped to their chest, or a small nuclear device in their moving van outside. The new evil is just too damned slippery, too hard to pin down.

Fighting terrorism is like fighting a global guerilla style war with almost every flank exposed on our side and we don't even know what our enemy looks like. No, terrorists don't work well for TV spots. Hitler, yeah, Hitler's a scary looking and angry little man that everyone knows. Yeah. Hitler.

Bush isn't Hitler, Hitler was a better man than George Bush. At least he was up until he lost control of things and blew his brains out but he was still a damned site better at leading than little George. [Update: I should note that I don't think Hitler was a better "man" than Bush, I think he was a more dynamic and charismatic leader. I don't condone, in any way, shape or form, the atrocities Hitler visited upon the Jews or anyone else. But what I do mean to do is demonstrate that Hitler had a plan, he had his plans written down and he was attempting to complete his vision. George Bush has no plan, has no vision, has nothing but his own gut instincts that he's going by and they are sinking us deeper and ever deeper into the muck. Thanks to Dogtownboy and Ryan for pushing me to expand on the thought.]

But I digress, let's get away from leveling incendiary insults against each other, let's leave Hitler to his burning pits of hell, let's table any use of German terms or symbols, let's strive to raise up the electoral process and get it out of the muck. Let's make the presidential election a time of positivity, of debate, of making the nation stronger, rather than more partisan and divided.

Let's use this election as a means of making our nation greater, rather than weaker and more hate filled.

And please, let's leave Hitler out of it.

Paying the Price: The Mounting Costs of the Iraq War via MetaFilter.

All I can say is wow. I'll have more later but I'm kind of just in shock.

You know what its like when someone's trying to explain why they did something and you're spending the whole time looking at them and thinking "if you were lying anymore, you're teeth would turn brown"?

Well, the seemingly never ending death spiral of Plain Layne continues on with its stupid little expose death march. I'm no longer linking to the site because its not what I linked to originally, its a lie and I'm irritated by it and by the liar himself.

There is a pretty lively discussion on the subject over on Mitch's blog and I just weighed in with my pissing and moaning.

And what is it, what is it that really actually generates my irritation, my unhappiness with the death of Plain Layne and the forced exposing of the creator?

The first sentiment is purely prideful. I hate thinking I've been lied to daily for the last several years. On the website, in instant messages, in emails and even through the regular mail. I hate knowing that there are people out there that behave as if the rest of the world is there solely to amuse them.

The second sentiment is intellectual admonishment, I should have seen the inconsistencies, I should have put 1 and 1 together to see that Layne was a man (baby!) or that the stories just sort of kept repeating themselves. There are plenty enough clues as to the basic falsehood of the blog, the character and everything else about it. But I didn't see them, didn't want to see them, I guess.

The third sentiment is one of righteous anger. I invested myself into that blog, I made it part of my day, I talked about it with my fiance now wife? "Layne" and I exchanged emails, I even went so far as inviting "her" to my wedding. It infuriates the hell out of me that I was stupid enough to be suckered so hook, line and sinkerly.

I'm sure there's more to vent, more frustration, more irritation. I mean, the way the "Layne" writer has dealt with the destruction of the blog is just incredibly callous. He needs to get back some of the angst he generated. How hard would it be to find out who he really is and put a little suck in his real life? No, I'm not suggesting retribution, not at all. But I wouldn't mind if something mildly bad happened to him. Nothing serious, just enough to let him get a sense of the pain he spread along with his manure posts about a fake lesbian with no boundaries and a penchant for strap on dildos and buggery as well as a serious video games jones.

I knew it would end badly when the tapestry began to unravel and the first seeds of fake reality starting appearing. And it has ended badly. With a poorly thought out, poorly written and wholly unsatisfactory reasoning and explanation for lying to a large group of fans.

Would I have read Plain Layne if there'd been a disclaimer on it that it was fake? Maybe. Probably not.

Nothing major, not like the mixture of elation, anticipation and worry I get everytime my cellphone rings and I think its my wife telling me that her water broke and its time to get our asses to the hospital.

No, not like that at all. And yes, person who's now called four times, you've got the wrong number, quit driving my blood pressure up.

Nope, today is the birthday of one of my favorite authors, George Orwell, perhaps you've heard of him? Yes? Anyway, he'd be 101 years old today. I think I'm going to honor his memory by calling in a few thoughtcrimes on my neighbors.

There's a news story on the air right now detailing more of the circumstances surrounding a strange rolling road rage incident. The talking head newscasters mentioned that there probably was more to the story than we'd seen yesterday.

What had been reported was a strange fatality accident in which a car had chased another car through a couple of towns, ramming it occasionally, and finally destroying it.

What we found out today was that the driver of the ramming car was the ex-girlfriend of the driver of the rammee car. Oh yeah, the fatality was the rammee's new girlfriend that the ramming car had been dumped for.

Its all so clear now.

And there's another teenager's life that's pretty well over. Its not wholly premeditated but she damn well knew that bashing her car into the other car was going to hurt someone soon. And I am sure that she didn't care in the least that she was harming his new girlfriend. All she wanted was payback, make him suffer like he made her suffer.

I am continually amazed that so many teenagers actually make it into their 20's. With all of the voluntary and involuntary risks of being a teen, its really amazing that more don't die stupidly and avoidably.

After making the jump from the 1st generation 10 gig iPod to the 3rd generation 20 gig iPod, I've been relearning how to make better use of the tight integration between iTunes and the iPod. I no longer manage the music directly on the iPod, having opted for the automatic updating of selected songlists. So that I can now add my Christmas music if I want to but can also skip right by it if that makes me happy.

There's also something damned cool about going from 2200 songs to just under 4500. I'm sure I could delete at least one out of every four but this way I still find new music in there.

So what have I been listening to since changing over to the new unit? And if I were cooler or still at home, I'd upload the MP3's so people could download the music and check them out for yourselves. Maybe I'll try to do it later on tonight. For now, use these as a guide if you like.

The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize? and Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Papas Fritas - Way You Walk (another group brought to my attention via the recently defunctified Plain Layne)
Weezer - El Scorcho, The Good Life, Burnt Jamb, Island in the Sun
Cracker - Eurotrash Girl
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - Shhh, Chowder
The Avalanches - Undersea Community
Steve Burns - What I Do on a Saturday
Maroon 5 - She Will be Loved, This Love
Shakira - Objection (Tango), Whenever, Wherever, Underneath Your Clothes
Sade - Feel No Pain <------playing right now
Mighty Lemondrops - Out of Hand
The Faint - Agenda Suicide
Cake - Shadow Stabbing, Meanwhile Rick James, I Will Survive

And lots more but all of these have been on my On-The-Go lists repeatedly.

What have you been listening to that's been making your head bob?

This week's is dedicated to desolation and isolation

The first question comes from Jeff......
1. What shape would your island be?
Funny question really but I like the idea of a horseshoe shaped island with a huge protected bay. Some small but decent sized hills to give a better vantage point, several places where the rocky base of the island extends out over the water to afford a good jumping point, lots of different kinds of trees with lots of different kinds of fruit supporting a varied and lush animal ecosystem. And a good supply of freshwater, maybe from a stream coming from a natural water cache up in the hills.

And now a running with it I shall go....
2. Would you be more at home on a deserted island or in a crowded city?
Island, no question. And I could probably relax easily. City's are good for somethings but give me isolation any day.

3. How would you keep yourself entertained on a deserted island?
I've always been good at keeping myself from getting bored. Isometric exercises, juggling, whittling, hunting for food, swimming, building a better shelter, construcing a coconut telegraph. Oh yes, and rampant masturbation.

4. Who would you miss most if you were on a deserted island?
Rush Limbaugh or Carrottop, unless I had a big enough gun with a big enough scope to hit them both.

Oh wait, um, I'd miss my wife the most since we do everything together.

5. Who would you least like to be stuck on a deserted island with?
Well, if it were Rush or Carrottop then I'd just beat them to death one night while they slept so I'm not worried about them. How about Anna Nicole Smith? Or the Aflac duck or the Enzyte guy.

6. What would be the best thing about being on a deserted island?
No lines at Starbucks! No, how about no pants? Actually the thought of living life in an improvised loin cloth/diaper sounds just fine by me.

7. What one thing would you love to take with you?
For practicality's sake, a fully loaded Leatherman or somesuch wunder tool, the kind that have an axe built in as well as the magnifying glass, pliers, knives, nail file, tweezers and can opener for that inevitable chest of canned food that has to wash up on the beach.

Practicality aside, what would I take? Pens, pencils and paper, lots of them. Enough to write dozens of books and make lots of drawings.

That's my Cheese and I'm sticking to it.

Some thoughts from today's Kerry for President Email
Dick Cheney's former company, Halliburton, was awarded a no-bid contract worth over $7 billion to help rebuild Iraq. The process for awarding this rare and lucrative contract was coordinated by Dick Cheney's own office in the White House. [Time, 5/30/04] Dick Cheney still receives deferred compensation from Halliburton, showing a lingering financial interest in the company. [Washington Post, 9/26/03; Richard B. Cheney Personal Financial Disclosure, May 15, 2002]

Some talking points to consider:
* Vice President Dick Cheney was Halliburton's CEO from 1995-2000. In addition to providing him with a massive salary and bonus for just eight months of work in 2000, Halliburton's board of directors voted to give Cheney a $20 million retirement package when he resigned. Following his departure from Halliburton, Cheney retained possession of 433,333 options of Halliburton stock. [Washington Post, 9/26/03; Richard B. Cheney Personal Financial Disclosure, May 15, 2002; May 15, 2003; New York Times, 8/12/00; LA Times, 7/24/00; AP, 7/18/02]
* For months, Cheney denied any involvement in Halliburton contracts. On "Meet the Press," he even said "...I have absolutely no influence of, involvement of, knowledge of in any way, shape or form of contracts..." [NBC News, "Meet the Press", 9/14/03]
* Time Magazine recently reported on a smoking gun email between the Department of Defense and the Vice President's office showing that Cheney's office "coordinated" a multi-billion dollar, no-bid government contract for Halliburton, his former employer. [Time, 5/30/04]
* As an example of overspending, Halliburton billed the government for 36 percent more meals than were served. In all, Halliburton charged $186 million for meals that were never delivered. [Detroit Free Press, 6/16/04]
* A Halliburton subsidiary was criticized for abandoning numerous $85,000 trucks with flat tires, housing company officials in a five-star Kuwaiti hotel, raising prices for gasoline deliveries in Iraq and ordering empty trucks to crisscross the country to run up the gas bills. [Detroit Free Press, 6/16/04]

In other words, Cheney is so dirty that he should be an environmental hazard. His self interest is so apparent that, if he were anyone but the VP of the US, he'd be in jail already. As it is, we may have to wait a couple of years until his tired old ass is in prison.

The depths of money grubbing corruption that he and his co-workers at Halliburton have gone to to bleed as much money out of the US is sickening. One billion dollars has been wasted in Iraq due to poor planning and lack of oversight which means quite alot of that money went straight into some bastard's pockets. And whose money are they spending so wildly, yours and mine.

How ANYONE could even be considering voting for Bush/Cheney in November is beyond me. Its like voting for more crime, more corruption, more embarrassment, more time with no one at the controls (since Bush is on vacation 40% of the time since taking office).

A vote for Bush/Cheney is a vote for their policies, their criminal activities and their further destruction of America's reputation around the world.

I've been suffering from an overage of post items, too many things going on in my mind and my life. So, instead of spending all day every day posting about everything, from the poop laden slough trail in the morning where I walk with Nande in the mornings, to the simple pleasure of pedaling my bicycle along the river path through town, to my on-going love affair with Togo's #9, to the momentary weightlessness as I crest the first ramp into the parking garage on the motorcycle to the random coming across of my birthday numbers everywhere as we approach the baby's 0 birthday. And anytime I think of the baby, I spin off in a thousand different directions at once, are we ready, is the room ready, do we have everything we need, what about money, what about health insurance, what about complications, what are we having?

Its not for lack of topics, its for lack of room to fit them all in. And maybe that's a good thing for everyone. Poignancy is all around me now. The way the wind blows the purplish flowers to the random dropping of ripe plums from the tree in the back yard, everything carries an extra weight as the start of a new life approaches inexorably.

By the way, since this is as good a place as any to post about what is the final chapter in the Plain Layne saga, for me anyway. I've been thinking about it, posting to the Orkut community and am slowly coming to the realization that, though I miss the blog, I don't really have a burning need to try and keep the site alive. Sure, I'd like to maintain the fledgling community that sprung up in her comment threads but I just don't see how that can practically happen without the ring master spinning tales.

I can feel the imminence of it fading from the front of my thoughts into the ever shifting background. Sure, its being pushed aside by the baby but it would have been happening on its own in any case.

Do I still feel a need for closure? Sure but I won't be losing any sleep over it anymore. It was a fun experience, I regret nothing but its time to move on to the next "thing".

And, to come wholly clean, the "meeting" that Layne I had years ago that introduced me to blogging and got me started with Intellectual Poison was on HotorNot.com, yeah, the site where you go and rate people based on nothing more than their picture. Same place I met my wife. Never met her in real life, never spoke to her offline, only in chats and comments and emails.

So thus closeth one chapter of The Life of Huh? (and yes, that will be the title of my memoir) in Layne's passing from icon to question mark and to P's swollen belly giving way to our baby.

And, last thought for this post, a couple of recent pics of Nande to share. Nande at Roaring Camp and Nande in the backseat, Huh?. More to come.

Because its seeming more and more like the ever-pending and soon to be pending no more baby Huh? isn't going to make his or her appearance without a little enticement, we now have a date. A date that will see us both seque from recently married couple to new parents with all of the rights, rules, benefits and detriments incurred by such a change in title designation.

July 1.

The first of July will almost certainly (and really, not much is certain at this point) be the day that P is induced and the little big baby will make his or her appearance in the great big wonderful world.

Eight days and change.

And I'll be a father.

Eight days and a lifetime of change.

We'll be parents.

In eight days, eight short days, in eight days life for us will turn a corner and a whole new chapter of our lives will begin. Our lives going from two to three. A new focus. A new life brought into the world. A clean slate. A baby. My baby. Our baby.

Its all just a wee bit overwhelming to consider in the reality of the now. Next week will be here before we know it and our lives will be enriched beyond any wealth's capacity. We'll be caring for the physical embodiment of our love for each other.

Eight days.

Holy shit!

Bush Claimed Right to Waive Torture Laws

Mary-Kate Olsen Enters Treatment Program for Anorexia

Good for her! I hope she gets her head straight as the whole heroin chic look is really just nasty. Actually, she could be a really good and positive role model if she's able to get beyond the anorexia and become a healthy young woman.

Dave Chappelle walked off the stage in protest after some assholes in the audience wouldn't shut the hell up so he could do his comedy act.

And you know what? Chappelle's right when he says "Stop listening to celebrities," he said. "They do what they do for money - that's all. I don't even know why you're listening to me. I've done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can't even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is."

The guy continues to impress as both an entertainer and as a human being (sure, he's a depraved freak who wrote a fake song about doo-doo butter but he's still a favorite in my book).

And he's responsible for one of my favorite sayings of recent times, I'm Rick James, bitch!

I actually had a two good deed Monday and that's certainly noteworthy. The first was the wallet but the second has had a direct impact on my life and P's.

First, allow me to paint a rough outline of the situation. My mom and step-dad were in town from Thursday through to Saturday afternoon. We had a wonderful time with them, on Friday I took the day off and we went down to Monterey to go to the aquarium and then had an excellent dinner that night with some of the hugest and best tasting artichokes I've ever seen.

Anyway, Saturday morning rolled around and P's mom, sister and neice called to say that they were coming down to see us. We were just on our way out the door to go and see one of the local beaches where it was rumored that Nande could go off leash without repercusions. I want to get her used to running around off her leash as much as I can so she gets used to it and stays close regardless of leash or not.

The beach was all it was billed to be, a huge open expanse of sand stretching far south and far north into Aptos just outside of Santa Cruz. Nande was able to run around off leash some and even made a pal in a Terrier named Quinn. They ran each other into the ground until neither was running so much as loping around.

After we'd had our fill of sun, surf and sand, we headed back to the car. P's cell had five messages on it, I think four were from her family. We called them to check in and spoke with P's neice. She said they were eating lunch and she was walking back to the car for something. Since we were hungry, we decided to go and get some lunch and expected that we would hook up with them a little bit later on as they normally liked to do some shopping while in town.

But as we sat down to lunch with my parents at Real Colima (authentico Mexican? you bet!) P's phone rang and it was her mom or sister, I think her mom. And she was irate. Pissed off because we'd had the gall to go to lunch. Pissed off because she felt like we were giving my parents more attention (um yeah, an hour and a half drive is pretty safely trumped by an 8 hour flight, sorry) but we weren't intentionally snubbing anyone. They were eating lunch, we were hungry so we thought we'd eat lunch, nothing more, nothing less.

But P's mum was having nothing to do with our hunger being the main reason we got lunch. She thought we were intentionally passing them over to spend time with my parents. And then she wouldn't let it go. I don't know for sure but I'm pretty sure she thought about very little else for the two days up until yesterday. She'd had numerous phone calls with P and with P's sister (who'd been on the expedition south to visit us) that finally culminated in her already being on one call on her cell with her sister discussing the travesty and her mom called in on the house line.

I answered it and started talking to her, if you can call listening to a mother bad mouth her eight and a half month pregnant daughter like she was a petulant ten year old. Seriously, if I hadn't been in a calm and relaxed mood, I would have come back with as much piss, vinegar and flung poo as she was spewing. It was actually almost shocking to hear her rant about what an awful daughter she had.

So I let her rant herself out until she had to take a breath before trying to cut in. And then I asked her what she wanted me to do about P's attitude. She said I didn't need to do anything. What about P? She should change and be a better person. And that's fine, its a step in the right direction from just impotent fury to actually directing that energy at the problem with a possible solution. Its like putting ten rabid cats in a room and then shaking the room up until the cats are chewing on the walls and each other, open a door and they'll find the way out quickly.

I then asked her to consider the bigger picture in all of this. She cut in (a habit of hers) and said that yes, she knew my mother and step-dad were in town and that she'd been looking forward to seeing them as well as us. I stopped her and asked to take another step back and realize that her daughter, my wife, is eight and a half months pregnant and does she really think that heaping stress upon her is a healthy and good thing to be doing. She replied that P brought it upon herself and started to spin up her rant again. I cut her off and said regardless of how we arrived at the situation, the more important thing to consider is that P doesn't need and can't have the extra stress of her mother's wild rantings.

The bigger picture supercedes all of this petty stupidity and that she would need to bear that in mind from here on out.

That caught her by surprise and she backed up a bit and then got off the line with me after telling me to have P call her when she got off the phone. I don't think anyone's shaken her out of her internally fueled irrational anger and rage in a very long time because it really did throw and I hope that she began to realize that there are far more important issues going on here than a missed visit and slightly bruised feelings.

We're about to have a friggin' baby and I'm not going to stand by and allow anyone to come in and add any stress on to my wife now. Or me. Or Nande. If it can't wait until after the baby's here and we don't have a pending birth over our heads then its probably alot more important than just the issues in one head.

Later last night, P was asleep on the couch when her mom called back again. I answered and let her know that P was resting but that I'd given her the message. Just as I was about to hang up, P stirred and said she'd speak with her mom. They talked and she began to get P wound up again but I sat there and basically told P that I was going to take the phone away if her mom didn't ease up immediately. In the end, her mom acknowledged that it was time to let it go and concentrate on the important stuff, like bringing a healthy grandchild into the world.

And I spent the rest of the night smugly patting myself on the back for breaking a chain of destructive thoughts and shielding my family as best I can from the frenzied assaults of the outside world.

The most awful thing about the utter shit that passes for entertainment on television is that, because of the ever expanding number of channels, nothing ever really goes off the air. Terrible shows like Friends, Will & Grace, Sex & the City (though the show may be decent, I literally cannot stand watching Sarah Jessica Parker, the woman is positively repulsive), Seinfeld (though really the only reason I can't watch that show is because Jason Alexander and his character, George Constanza, are more irritating than a dozen screeching Anna Nicoles or thirty Fran Dreschers) and, soon enough, Everybody Loves Raymond.

Ahh, syndication. Because if it was good enough to show on tv once, its good enough to rattle out every year or so ad perpetuem.

Which is why some very smart person came up with the idea of the PVR. And I will have one on order before too long now, my own Tivo to watch TV the way I want to and to be able to jump past those ridiculously aggravating and annoying Enzyte ads, the new KFC Atkins-friendly moronacy and any ad that might possibly have Carrot Top in it (can someone please, please, please run him over with a dump truck?).

Where life fails, technology will, eventually, come up to bridge the gap.

By the way, the new iPod's? Fabulous! Amazing little machine that surpasses my old one by leaps and bounds. Being able to make On-the-go playlists is excellent as well as being able to rate my songs on the 'pod. Very good stuff and I'm looking forward to the Airport Express when it comes out.

I have got to hand it to Ahnuld, he has scored a pretty major win for California with his signing of an agreement with the Indian Casino's to kick down a percentage of their profits back to the state. The article (and one of the few local stories I could find without a subscription, you used to be cool San Jose Mercury News, now you're just killin' me), New tribal gambling compacts at-a-glance, details the plan and how some of the money will be collected.

The revenues will be used for transportation projects, I'm guessing more earthquake retrofits, bridge repairs and roadwork.

I can't see how this isn't a win for all of us. Oh boy, in return the casinos get more slot machines and exclusive gaming rights in their areas. This is also just the first five casinos to sign on, Herr Governator says that up to a dozen more are in the works and that's even better.

I still gasp when I think that we have the Terminator for a governor some but he does appear to making some decent moves and that's pretty awesome. I wonder how much of this is his star power and how much is his ability to negotiate. Maybe he just offers to sign some autographs and memorabilia for their Cache Creek Hard Rock Cafe's and comps a few passes to his next movie premiere?

Either way, good work, Arnold. I still don't want you as governor, much less president, but hey, you're doing a decent job thus far.

TinyPic will allow you to upload images to their servers, for free and without any registration process at all. Then you can link to that image without any trouble.

Its meant to be used for auctions but it would appear that most of the pics are not really styled for auctions. I'd guess most of the pics being hosted there are being used in chats as they're not porn but they are porn-like.

No offense intended to Jesse James and Kid Rock but their Motorcycle Mania 3 that was aired on Discovery last night was about the lamest piece of shit show I've seen in a long damned time. It was less mania and far more yawn inducing tripe-y crap like showing Jesse tootling around in his old truck with his hot fiance.

They weren't even on a friggin' motorcycle!

Maybe the show got better as it got warmed up but we couldn't watch it, it was like a badly done soap opera with tattoos and tough guy attitudes.

Oh yeah, Jesse complaining about what a hell his life is after generating a two year waiting list for his bikes, a hit show on TV and lots of product endorsements (is it just me or is it a little strange to see a motorcycle guy hawking car parts?). Anyway, boo-fuckin'-hoo, Jesse. I'm sure its been really, really hard to deal with fame, fortune and hot chicks throwing themselves at you. You poor, poor man.

I didn't even see Kid Rock in the show because, as I said before, we were highly compelled to change the channel to something less awful. And when I happened to surf back by it, they were doing another Jesse in love montage bullshit. How incredibly lame.

Motorcycle Mania should be about the bikes first and foremost, about road trips second, about hoochie mamas they meet on the road third, business fourth and about your pending nuptuals never at all.

Or maybe I'm the only getting a little tired of Jesse's Mr. Cooler than Thou attitude. He's got a great show in Monster Garage (even if the builds have tended towards over the top conversions of hundred thousand dollar race cars with pro teams of fabricators) and a great shop in West Coast Choppers. I can only hope that he saw the final edits on Motorcycle Mania 3 and pronounced it shit. But I doubt it, he probably made it so that his honey could see what a nice and sensitive guy (who'll still stomp you if you piss him off) he is. Bleh. Nice try, Jesse but sell the soft shit to Spice.

So I was heading back from the post office after checking my mail and came across a wallet on the ground.

I scooped it up and came back into the office. It had more than $400 cash in it, a learner's permit from New York, a phone card and a high school ID from the Bronx.

Not really a question of whether to turn it on not. The kid's 17 years old and out on the west coast on some sort of school trip. Without his wallet he is effectively fucked. So I called the number on the back of the school ID, spoke to his mom, got his trip leader's cell, his cell and tried them both. But didn't get either of them and I was planning on going by the police station to turn it in.

And the trip leader just called. He will get in touch with the kid and knows where I am so he'll able to retrieve his wallet.

And now, I just spoke with Mark, the kid who lost the wallet, and he's on his way over.

I feel like a boy scout or something.

But there's just no way I could deal with the negative karmic backlash and guilt of knowing that I could have helped a kid out when he needed it.

So there's my good deed for the day, now P and I deserve to have a nice complication free birth! And no, that's not why I returned his wallet and everything in it. I did it because it's the right thing to do. Wouldn't you have done the same?

This post may upset some of the more sensitive readers out there so proceed with caution. The post may also come across as racist but I can assure you that I'm not attempting to make any cultural stereotypes, I'm merely reporting what I've been seeing and observing since becoming a stranger in the strange land that is Watsonville, California.

First off, I'm a minority in Watsonville. Half of the population is Mexican or Latin. I don't know for sure but I would guess that it is one of the most affluent Hispanic towns in the US. Helped by the fact that land values have gone through the friggin' roof in the last thirty or forty years.

Median house prices in Santa Cruz county topped $550,000 last year. That includes Watsonville and, while some of the neighborhoods may be bringing that number down, most of the neighborhoods I've gone through have numerous well appointed and well kept houses.

Anyway, think somewhere like Woodside, the Upper East Side in New York or somewhere else that seems to attract affluent white folks, well Watsonville attracts affluent Hispanic folks. The number of people driving around in Escalades, Excursions, Hummers, Benz's and other higher end cars indicates a higher income level than most other towns. Hell, the kid at the house up the street has a brand new Audi TT (they're also the house that rocks like mad when the parents go out of town with cars literally everywhere until around 3 in the morning).

So, yeah, there's folks with money and that's fine, you'd think it would encourage a more congenial level of interaction amongst their fellow man, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong. The default mode for people in Watsonville is Asshole. Asshole behind the wheel, asshole in the grocery store, asshole as neighbor, asshole on the slough trail, asshole everywhere.

I don't know why people are assholes. I don't know why people feel the need to drive like dickheads with their faces buried in their own rose-scented ass's (because you know THIER shit doesn't stink). High school kids driving around in brand new 4Runners, Honda's, Acura's and all manner of other nicer car, far nicer than anything I drove in while growing up. And driving around like they own the damned roads with stupid thump-dy music bumping and screeching up and down our hill all the time. And its not just the teenagers, its everyone.

I call a certain look the bullethead look. Its when