Intellectual Poison

I was commenting on a thread over on Jennifer's History and Stuff about a lame little GOP joke about bronze rats and the San Francisco Bay when I came up with a new word.

I'd be very surprised if it hasn't already been coined but if not then its mine, all mine. But you're welcome to use it.

Resmuglican - a self absorbed jackass subscribing to the Grand Old Party's doctrine of screwing everyone over, unless they're a fellow Resmuglican. Easy to spot in their oversized, look-at-me-look-at-the-monkey Hummers and other trucks designed to compensate for small penises and raging inferiority complexes. These are the same pricks that don't see any lies ever emanating from ShrubCo, they're just distortions of reality that the left is too "stupid" (i.e. clued into reality) to understand.

We had another appointment yesterday to see how the baby is doing, how P is doing and where we are in the process.

First off, our baby's heartbeat still sounds like a little motorboat engine powering around. Its pretty amazing to listen to it and know that all of this is taking place in P's belly (well not really her belly but you know what I mean).

P is feeling very heavy these days, the constant pressure of the weight on her is tiring her out some and she's taken to resting alot, which is totally cool by me and I'm happy to be the runner in the house. She's still taking Nande out for her morning walks along the slough and I think the walks are doing both of them an awful lot of good. The movement is good for P and Nande loves mashing through the grass and meeting and learning from the other dogs.

We had our second tick episode last night. The first one was over the last weekend and I first gelled the sucker with some Neosporin (we didn't have any Vaseline) until it was pretty much dead before I used the tweezers to pull it all out, including its head. The tick last night wasn't even embedded into her skin at all, it was still looking for a place to call home when I saw it. I got my gear ready to smother it and saw that it was still ambulating around so I just pulled it off and let it drown in the toilet before flushing it into oblivion (make sure they're dead or they can grow to a thousand times their size in the sewers and I don't need no stinking fifty pound blood sucking tick coming back for me).

But back to the baby appointment. P is about a week ahead in terms of her belly size but her weight and blood pressure are spot on. She's starting to really take on the look of someone who's accidentally swallowed a beach ball. I jokingly reached around her the other to lift her belly off of her and she sighed loudly with the temporary release of the weight. She has been truly remarkable during this pregnancy and I can't even begin to convey my admiration and adoration of her and for her. And yes, even when she's snappy and grumpy because Nande's been nipping at her (Nande is entering a phase where she rebels against almost everything for the kick of it but we're still working her program and she will fall back into line!).

We're now officially (or just about) in the third trimester with just 12 or 13 weeks left to go. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less. The first baby shower is later on today with several more in the works. We're still unsure as to what we're going to really want and need but I think that's a big part of the excitement. The unknown but the familiar and all that.

All I really wanted to note was just how awesome P has been throughout this whole affair. I know she's looking forward to having her body back again but she's dealt with the fetal hijacking very, very well. Now if we could only convince the puppy to sleep past 5 in the morning......

And a little Cramming on the Post
Because I don't want to have too many new posts, here are a few other notes from the day.
Today's quote - Shallow men believe in luck, believe in circumstances -- it was somebody's name, or he happened to be there at the time, or it was so then, and another day would have been otherwise. Strong men believe in cause and effect.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

And a Happy Birthday to one of the scariest and best actors in Hollywood, Christopher Walken. Oh yeah, its also Mr. Roboto, Al Gore's birthday too.

I watched the news, as usual, this morning and saw the bad news of more killing in Iraq but something the talking head said stuck with me and I realized that it has always bothered me.

Its the tendency to localize deaths. In that, they'll talk about a couple of dozen people dead and then follow that up very quickly with how many of those people were Americans. I understand the desire to make the news mean something to each person watching it, you know, identifying with the loss but it is insulting to those who died and didn't happen to be American, what about the nameless Iraqis? What about the other members of the "coalition" forces? What about people that lost their lives in the conflict and weren't American? Don't their deaths mean just as much as the death of an American? Maybe their deaths mean more, I mean, we're only over there fighting to protect our oil interests and to find those pesky WMD's.

Yes, its tragic that 3 Americans died among the 350 in the latest high definition tragedy to be paraded out by Fox, CNN and all the other big media sources. But its alot more tragic to me that those 350 PEOPLE died in the first place, I don't care that they aren't Americans, I care that they are humans and they died needlessly. Quickly mentioning the total dead and then the number of Americans totally glosses over the tragedy of all the deaths.

I'm also kind of sick and tired of the talking heads delivering pretty horrible news with their TV smiles on. Um hey, asshole, you're talking about people being BLOWN apart and you're smiling about it? Show some friggin' empathy and wipe that shit sucker grin off your mug. There's one reporter in particular who seems to actually derive a sexual satisfaction by reporting bad news from Washington, she's got a sly, seductive grin as she talks about budget shortfalls, lies and corruption.

And, in my in-box this morning, this article, Why Can't The Media Call Bush a Liar? that examines the US media's reluctance to call foul on much of anything that ShrubCo has done and is doing. The article highlights the pretty outrageous conflict of interest represented by the president and vice president and their oil interests going into Iraq. It amazes me that Bush gets a free ride and he's attacked a foreign country, allowed the mastermind behind 9/11 to run free and is spending taxpayer money faster than any president in history. And yet, no one in the media seems to notice or care. I care and I will be doing my damnedest to get that smirking prick out of the White House. Even if John Kerry were every bit as reprehensible as George Bush, which he is most definitely not, then I would still want to make the change. Bush is a corrupt lying thief pretending to care about America when he really doesn't give the first damn about anyone but his pals, his supporters and the criminally stupid poor people who think he's doing a great job even while he lowers their standards of living even more.

Stupid Spam of the Day
By the way, Doreen Coleman, thanks for the offer of a Free Sex Crochet but I'm not even sure what that is and that means I'm even less likely to want it.

It occurs to me that I haven't ranted about idiots in the public eye, the ones that need a good hard fist right in the face and maybe a kick in the nuts as well. The list is, by no means, complete or fair but hey, ya know, fuck it.

Hugh Grant - I cannot think of any celebrity that needs a good stomping more than this incredibly irritating knob.
Ray Romano - do I really even need to give any reason why he needs to get kicked until he stops twitching?
Ben Stiller - Mr. One Character, a useless wanker who just keeps pumping out garbage movies one after the other like skittles. Yeah, he gets the steel toe to the jewelbox.
Richard Hatch - for proving that nudity can be an awful thing.
David Schwimmer - for proving that pussies can walk on two legs and whine.
Matthew Perry - facial ticks be damned, the guy's almost as big a pussy as Schwimmer but he's got a drug problem so he gets some slack.
Scott Peterson - the smug guy look of a guy who very likely murdered his wife and unborn son has been indelibly burned into my head, that's reason enough to kick his sick ass.
Kobe Bryant - Dude, you raped a teenager, committed adultery and then paid off your wife with a $3.5 million dollar ring and then have the pure balls to say you're not guilty? Not even your defense team can keep a straight face when you say crap like that.
George Steinbrenner - thanks for trying to ruin baseball by signing $190 million dollars of all stars.
Jayson Blair - Hi, I'm a liar posing as a journalist but soon I'll be a liar and fraud posing as an author. And I'm probably lying right now. Jayson Blair needs a blanket party by some 'roided up baseball sluggers.
John Rigas, Ken Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, Sam Waksal and all the other corrupt CEO pricks - here's a good site for news on CEO scandals and their penalties, The Corporate Scandal Sheet with political donation numbers included too just to see how much and who they gave it too.
The Entire ShrubCo Regime needs a slap, a kick and maybe even a little testicular cattle prodding, though maybe we should just stop at the slap for Condi Rice (is it me or is there a tinge of shame in her face when she's in the news lately?).
I'd include the Pope and most of the Church but the Pope would probably split in two and I don't need an old man's blood on my boot. How about some nut kicks for all those kid touching priests and their superiors who conspired to cover it all up? Oh yeah, I can get my kickin' foot going for that. By the way, I find it incredibly ironic that the priest who was putting up Cary Verse (a recently released sexual predator) in his illegal parish flop house has just been arrested for molestation. Ironic in the sense that he needs to spend a few years in prison, scared for his own backside to get a little taste of the fear and pain he inflicted on someone else.

I do reserve the right to continue to add to this list and might even make it a stand alone page with its own special little IP: Slappage button. Who would you slap if you could?

Hodge Podge
A few random links that I've been keeping in draft and bumping up to the top of the post list below. Its time to clear them out and move on to the next collection

If you have any interest in South African Cricket then you should check out the South African SuperSportszone. The site's a little hard to navigate and its hard to find actual scorecards of the matches but its a good spot for some news about one of my favorite sports.

Satisfying your inner adolescent D&D playing pre-internet geek, What D&D Character Are You?

Random news: Top doc backs picking your nose and eating it

Random timewaster (remember Mr. Miyagi trying to catch flies with chopsticks in the Karate Kid? this is the online version), flysui.

And I've begun another new blog, this time over on ModBlog called One Hand Slapping that deals with people in the media who could seriously benefit from a little "gentlemen's correction", not unlike the first part of this post actually. I'm more testing it out and think its one hell of a cool system, well thought out, well planned out and far, far superior to what Blogger is offering.

And a couple of new words I thought up yesterday afternoon
Peter tottering - those last few seconds of a top spinning when its getting ready to fall over and stop spinning, its petering our and teeter tottering at the same time.

Pooetic justice - that joyous confluence of payback and poop, when someone's come uppance involves their having poo flung at them or otherwise being used as an intrinsic part of the revenge. This was is for Ryan in his new digs and showing off his butt, I think there might be some pooetic justice coming your way, Ryan.

And a new drink:
We came up with this one a while ago but I finally came up with the name for it.
Its called Ginger's Bush
a shot of Bushmills over ice
top with ginger ale
garnish with a sprig of mint and some soft core porn.

In the middle of an otherwise lovely Saturday morning, as we were loading into the car and truck to take Nande to the vet for her next round of shots, P backed into our neighbor's car. Her car had been parked in our portion of the driveway and was up against the fence and kind of hidden from view. P tagged it with her driver's side bumper just at the end of the BMW's driver side door.

It didn't look like much at all but, in the time it took us to go the vet's and for me to come home, she'd taken it in for an estimate. Bear in mind that this is a very small zone of damage we're talking about, maybe five inches by five inches on the very, very extreme outside. Its small. Small enough so that you'd be unlikely to notice it at first. What was the damage repair estimated at? Can you say $800? For a very small little area. And it could have been worse, by far, if P had hit her on the door seam then it would have been far, far worse with damage on multiple panels.

P did make a good point that they really shouldn't be parking in our driveway and there's no way she would have hit them if they hadn't been there to begin with. And she couldn't see the car at all in her mirrors as she backed up, couldn't even see it after she'd hit it even, because of how the driveway works.

So, it's going to suck a good chunk of money out of us but will hopefully not happen again and we'll likely end up with them not using our driveway to stash their cars in. Still sucks though.

But we're going to get a couple more estimates because $800 for the damage done seems just waaaay excessive.

Ripped straight from the news headlines, today's survival tip from my Worst Case Scenario desktop calendar.....
How to Escape a Mountain Lion

Apparently the best way to escape a mountain lion is to flash it. The picture shows this guy spreading his coat wide to a lion on a rock above him. Sure, he's got clothes on in the picture but reality is that we all go hiking in trench coats with nothing on underneath and a porn groove soundtrack in our heads.

Show the big cat your big snake and scare him off!

Actually, here's the real instructions with my sarcasm in italics.

1. Try to make yourself appear bigger by opening your coat. The lion is less likely to attack a larger animal. You could also try thumping your chest Tarzan-style because lions are probably less likely to want to attack a nut case too.
2. If the lion still behaves aggressively, throw stones. Convince the lion you are not prey. I'd imagine that sticks would work as well and I'd prefer having a nice big stick to fend off a lion if it does attack.
3. If you are attacked, fight back. Most mountain lions are small enough that an average sized human can ward off an attack. Do not curl up and play dead. Playing dead pretend is, apparently, a good way of landing the part forever. Remember that lions are cats and cats are cruel creatures at heart. They will happily maul a "dead" body.

Perhaps a little later than originally intentioned but here are a few new pics of my little but quickly growing hound.

Attentive Nande, Nande in the office, Nande on the lawn, Nande in my office coy.

She's fourteen weeks old today. Over the weekend I was able to have her respond to hand signals alone without any voice prompting at all. She goes to the door when she needs to go potty, she sleeps in her crate in our bedroom now, responds very well to several voices commands and is undergoing growth spurts that can be seen day to day. The little girl dog is stretching out and starting to fill out her big sack of loose skin.

She remains talkative, letting me know when she's getting tired of a game or some training. And she still nips although the severity and frequency have both dropped. I am confident that she will eventually not nip at all and also that her teeth will dull up some, she accidentally got my thumb pretty good the other day.

She has been a joy and both P and I consider ourselves extremely fortunate to have selected and wound up with such a smart and capable little puppy. But then, I'm pretty sure that any new dad is going to think that. I do know that everyone who sees her always says how cute she is. When I drive around in the truck, she'll sit on my lap looking out the window. I wish I could figure out a way to take her into the office with me.

On the home front, the yard has been weed wacked, corn has been planted, tomatoes have been planted, sugar snap peas have been planted. Puppy protection barriers have been erected. The Crab Grass Genocide Initiative has begun with a first salvo of turf builder with crabgrass preventer because we saw it on the box on Saturday and it stuck. I will be picking up some railroad ties soon and starting to lay out a retaining wall for the edge of the yard. I see railroad ties in my future, lots and lots of railroad ties.

[Update: I'd intended on posting this along with the pics from above, its Patio Panel Dog Doors which are actually pretty cool. Sliding glass doors are notoriously hard to use for a dog door because there are very few dogs out there with the strength and smarts to slide them open to go out and pee. The patio panel dog door obliviates that need for a smart and strong dog with a panel that gets inserted into the slider part, seals one edge and the other edge can have the door locked into it. A very slick solution for a pressing problem. And we'll have ours on the way soon enough. Anyone have any experience with these doors?]

Oh boy, oh boy, I think I'm going to probably end up getting one of these, V-Strom 650 (DL650) or its bigger brother V-Strom 1000 (DL1000).

I'm going to have to take them both out for rides to see which I like better but I'm pretty sure I could be happy with either. BMW's just come out with a new R1200GS that Motorcyclist has called the best all around bike ever (or something to that effect). There's a huge price difference between the Suzukis and the BMW though and that'll likely mean I go with the Suzuki.

Mar 26, 8:36 am ET
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Pope John Paul on Friday said Sunday should be a day for God, not for secular diversions like entertainment and sports.
"When Sunday loses its fundamental meaning and becomes subordinate to a secular concept of 'weekend' dominated by such things as entertainment and sport, people stay locked within a horizon so narrow that they can no longer see the heavens," the pontiff said in a speech to Australian bishops.

John Paul criticized the "culture of the 'here and now,"' urging Church leaders to "lead men and women from the shadows of moral confusion and ambiguous thinking."

The 83-year-old pope also encouraged Christians, especially young people, to remain faithful to Sunday Mass, saying the secular culture was undermining family life.

Pope John Paul on Friday said Sunday should be a day for God, not for secular diversions like entertainment and sports, that's right and all those idiot athletes who keep thanking God for the skill and will to win, they need to shut up because God hates sports, he loves bowed heads and money in the donation plate and little macaroni pictures.

Okay, now, let's get this straight. The Pope wants me to devote one entire seventh of my life to his God? Regardless of the fact that his God is as real, to me, as the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy?

subordinate to a secular concept of 'weekend' dominated by such things as entertainment and sport, oh yeah, far be it from people to actually do something they ENJOY with their free time. People need to be kept rapt and busy all the time or the devil will sneak in and make them want to bugger children, oh wait.......

The shadows of moral confusion? This from the guy who's priests have been sodomizing children? Um, yeah, your kind of clarity I can do without, your pokiness.

When Sunday loses its fundamental meaning, and, because he's the holy man of one particular religion, he and he alone has the divine insight into what Sunday fundamentally means? I think I can break it down a little more rationally. Sun-day, sun, day. A day of sun. Not a day of sitting on hard wooden benches and praying for forgiveness for lusting after your neighbor or eating the last deep fried Snickers bar when you'd promised it to your four hundred wife. Sun day. I think I'll stick to my worship at the church of the beach, the volleyball and the ocean.

ambiguous thinking - you mean the kind that allows sexually repressed priests to think they're doing good by preaching the word of God and then sticking their penises into little boys? Or the kind that makes a priest who ran a man over think that he should not do jailtime because he can "do more good" by staying with his flock? Um yeah, who's idea of good?

secular culture was undermining family life so its okay to watch sports on Sunday if you have no family? What if you have a family that's already undermined and nothing can save it, then can you watch football on Sundays?

Hey Pope, how about I make you a deal? If you can stop all the buggery and filthy, make reparations for centuries of persecution, drop all the contradictory garbage and also allow for different belief systems, then and only then will you have even the slightest shred of a chance of convincing me to do anything at all. Until then, you're in a glass house, maybe you oughtn't be heaving rocks (though at 83 years I would imagine your fast ball just ain't what it used to be).

I guess I just don't know enough about the law to really have a truly informed opinion about the whole "Under God" issue with the Pledge of Allegiance being said in schools all across the nation.

I know enough to know that "under God" is incredibly rude to force a Muslim, Buddhist or other non-Christian type religious type to say. It would be same as legislating that all Americans must now end their sentences with "And George Bush didn't lie." Its stupid and wrong.

But why is this even still an issue? Its clearly written in our country's owner's manual that the church and the state must be two separate entities. Why is there any question as to whether this is a valid complaint? Get your church out of the school. You'll have plenty of time to try and brainwash them into your faith based theology later.

Oh, I know, its far easier if they're raised and trained to say the words even if they don't understand or believe them. But, hey, you know what? Its not the school or government's place to generate warm bodies for conversion.

What's next, the church will come up with the Faith Pill? You take it and all your concerns and questions about God disappear into a nice hazy happy glow and it'll also make it easier for the pedophilic priesthood to bugger little Johnny. Now that's a win/win for the church.

I would love to be on the Supreme Court for this one. It would take me all of ten seconds to decide that yeah, separation of Church and State requires the stripping of all religious iconography from public places and oaths. When witnesses are sworn into court, do they still have to swear to tell the whole truth so help them God? I don't think so and they shouldn't have to. But hey, correct me if I'm wrong.

I wouldn't hold myself as accountable if I swore to tell the whole truth so help me God because, hey, I don't believe in God. I could just as easily say, so help me Roger Rabbit and it would be just as valid.

By the way, I saw an awful news story this morning about a husband who was on his way to marriage counseling with his wife (who was, ironically, a marraige counselor herself) when they had an argument that was only ended when the husband started stabbing his wife. Apparently, he was still stabbing her when the police finally arrived to deal with it.

The problem is that I've been unable to find any information on the story at all. It was on KTVU this morning but KTVU.com had nothing at all on the site about it. The man's name is Lawrence May, the murder happened in San Mateo and I just wanted to get some more information about it. Anyone know anything more? Pass it along.

[Update: Apparently, I'm one of the few people that thinks this shouldn't be in the schools at all. The wholly unscientific iWon survey today finds that 81% of people support keeping "under God" in the pledge and only 10% oppose it. But the truly scary stat is the one above it, if a woman has custody of her child then 49% of people think her opinion is the only that matters in instances like this one, where the father is suing over the "under God" line in the pledge. Only 1% of respondents think the father has the sayso and a moderate and phew-inducing 42% think that the decision should be shared. And a full 7 out of 10 don't think the Supreme Court should hear this case at all.]

I've already talked about this before but its back in the news again after Kobe's accuser took the stand yesterday and had to defend herself and her sexual history to continue laying the claim of sexual assault on the adulterer.

Why?

Because, even after the first moron mailed a letter to Bryant offering to "take care" of her accuser, more lowlife NBA addicted stunted development idiots are still threatening to kill the 19 year old girl who has the sheer gall to not see her rape as a gift by the star. Hey folks, get your heads out of your asses and recognize a couple of things.

One, just because you like Kobe and what he's able to do on the basketball court and win the championships so you can brag to your friends that "your" team won even though you have about as much ownership of the Lakers as I do of the moon, does not mean that he's incapable of being a lowlife scumbag rapist fuck who takes advantage of his stardom to screw teenage girls in Colorado.

Two, threatening the victim of a sexual assault is just truly in incredibly poor taste. Threatening her life in spite of the fact that the jury is still very much out and Kobe's legal guilt has yet to be proven or disproven. Trying to scare her into quitting is an attempt to subvert and disrupt our legal process, are you attempting to dismantle the United States? Circumventing our process and taking matters into your own hands is vigilantism and rule by might. Hello? We're no longer in a state of Warre (Locke's war). We're a civilized society, we have protocols and procedures for determing guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

Three, I'm sure there are plenty of idiots out there saying she's just a gold digger trying to make her mark by getting Kobe Bryant thrown in jail. But that's wrong for two reasons. The first is that anyone levelling sexual assault charges against a sports star must know that they are about to shine one hell of a strong light on their lives, their family and their friends. No one would take that step lightly. Two, if you had been excited to meet a star, he asked you to his room and then he sexually assaulted you, sodomizing you and leaving bruises on your throat from where he HELD YOU DOWN, then you would damn well want some retribution.

Did she try to blackmail him? Did she try to get rich because of this? No, she's had to live in four different states, she's had to hire lawyers and other people to be on her team to help shield her from all of these basketball idiots who continue to believe that Kobe's stardom means he shouldn't be held accountable for his actions and that's just patently ridiculous. Those in the spotlight should keep a much tighter rein on their activities because they are in the light, they are role models (regardless of whether they choose to be or not).

The facts of the case: Kobe admits to having sex with the young lady, Kobe is already married which means that he's an adulterer, he only admitted having sex with her after the suit was brought, before the suit was levelled, he refused to admit that he'd had sex with her and had actively denied. He's already lied once, why is it so hard to even consider that he might be guilty of the more serious crime of assault? How can any of these rabid idiots making death threats on her accuser make the leap from supportive fan to active participant in the whole mess? What possible good are you intending to have come of this? Are you attempting to twist the spotlight off of Kobe and his adultery at the least, rape at the most, in the vain and short sighted hope that the legal system will somehow just forget that Kobe was being tried for a crime? (yeah, I know, he has only been charged and all this trial stuff now is to see if they can actually charge him).

I hope all of the morons trying to derail the process and threatening to kill his accuser are rounded up and tried and thrown in prison for a long time. Send a strong message that our society will not tolerate the further victimization of victims. That our process is there for a reason, that their (likely) flippant remarks brought on by dangerously narrowly defined worldview cannot survive the light of examination. That their derailment will only end up in their own incarceration.

But hey, when a prick like Dennis Kozlowski looks like he might walk after stealing more money than most families would see in twenty lifetimes, then its not all that hard to see that some have lost faith in the system. But the system has to be allowed to run its course.

By the way, here's a good timeline of the case, including such highlights as: Sept. 18: Swiss man Patrick Graber, 31, arrested in California for investigation of soliciting the murder of Bryant's accuser and Feb. 26: Cedric Augustine, 37, of Long Beach, Calif., accused of making profanity-laced death threats against Bryant's accuser and the prosecutor.

I've gotta go on record as saying that last night's Survivor highlight show sucked. Its a good thing that we didn't end up having people over because there would have been some mightly dissent amnog the crowd. I hate highlight shows midseason. They're a stupid waste of time and they risk pissing off enough of your audience to kill a show.

The last time I can remember being jazzed about South Park was just before they did their lame ass practical joke of the Terence and Philip special. After that I pretty well lost interest in the show for a few years. I watch every now and again now but its nowhere near as compelling as it used to be. Its just plain stupid marketing to piss on your fanbase.

The best thing that came out of it is plenty enough for a full other post. And yes, it is very much dog related. Maybe I'll save it until tomorrow when I can finally get around to uploading new pics of Nande.

Its time again to play ! A random set of questions this week but I think we're moving back to another Word Association like last week again for next time.

1. What would you want written on your epitaph?
I'm tempted to say something like, "Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Sailor, Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Thief" but I've really only been two of those so maybe I'd just go with something like, "Here Lies Johnny Huh?, husband, father, son, brother, lover, builder, mogul, god." Or would that be slightly over the top?

2. What do you collect and why?
I've decided to start a collection of houses, I've only got one now but I want to have a couple of dozen soon. Why? Because then I can become a slumlord and spend all day chasing down deadbeat tenants with a spring loaded baton and a taser. Hey, it beats working.

3. What's the dumbest legal action you know of?
Georgia outlawing genital piercings comes to mind. I'm sure there are plenty more though.

4. What single decision in your life do you wish you could change? (might be a double, oh well)
I don't know if there was a single moment when I was a kid and rebelling against everything that people said I should be and was told that I had a high IQ and unlimited potential. Instead of embracing those powers for practical ends, I one eightyed and became an anti-intellectual and spent most of my high school years hanging out with the art room (read that, dope smoking) crowd.

5. Some people resemble their dogs, do you know anyone that resembles their name?
The only that really comes to mind is Chris Moneymaker, the amateur poker player who just parlayed a $10K buy-in to the World Series of Poker and walked away with something like $2.4 million.

6. What's your favourite / most used unit of time?
I'd have to go with eternity because I love correcting people when they speak in absolutes like never.

7. What's the best internet time device you've seen so far?
Cable Clock wins for me although the Human Clock comes in a pretty close second.

So that's my Cheddar for the week. Want some? Go and get some for yourself!

Did you know that the human body is more sensitive to cold than to warmth?
That's because cold can more quickly damage vital organs, says Diane Ackerman in her book A Natural History of the Senses.

Most of the body's cold receptors are closer to the skin's surface and are in the face, especially on the tip of the nose, the eyelids, lips and forehead, Ackerman says. The body has fewer receptors for warmth and, except for the tip of the tongue, those nerve endings lie deeper under the skin than their cold counterparts.

In fact, your skin must be warmed by three or four degrees before you truly feel warm, but a drop of only one or two degrees will make you feel cold.
- Shamelessly stolen from iWon's Health Tip.

Which is a good reason to move away from where its cold more than half the time. One of my analysts has, as a part of his bio: ... calls Calgary, AB home: blue skies, northern lights and a healthy six months of frozen tundra a year. Which is about five months and three weeks too long in my book.

Its late March here now and I had to wear a sweatshirt when I went out to ride my bike at lunch. Last week we were having a nice heat spell that was awesome with temps in the 80's!

I had a thought a while ago, when I was reminiscing about high school and my friends that have passed out of my life since then, how long does it take for a life to turn over? That is, how much time would it take to move, change jobs and basically disappear into the past?

One of my longest friendships had lain dormant for a few years because we'd just lost touch. But she found my phone number somewhere and called me and sparked our friendship right back up and I now consider her one of my best friends. But if that had happened a year later or two years later I wouldn't be at that phone number anymore and I've moved so many times in the last ten years that the trail is completely convoluted.

My work life has settled down quite a bit and that's good but five years ago I wasn't even in this line of work, I was still bartending and working in the health club industry. My home life has always been a little turbulent but should be settling in for a few years now with the new house, the new wife, the new puppy and the baby on the way.

So, maybe its something that slows down as one gets older. When I was in my early 20's I was all over the place, Arizona, Chicago, New England, South Africa and then, finally, out to California.

And then my thoughts turn to wondering about those friends and contacts from my past that may have also tried to make contact again but failed because I had moved on already. I've done the same thing, looked for ways to find my old friends and come up empty.

Some of my old friends I have gotten back in touch with and realized that the only thing we still have in common is the past. Our lives have diverged to the point that a night of beers and conversations will eventually dwindle into nothingness. Its not a bad thing that lives change and people change but its somewhat sad.

And then there's also the other way to look at it. Thinking about those people that will be important to your life soon but you don't know them yet. Kind of an interesting thought. Future friends and pals.

Man, there is nothing that sucks like having a gorgeous hot pastrami with cheese freshly made and handed over with love from the shop, getting out to the street and having the bag rip and spray the whole stupid thing all over the damned ground.

But I'm still going to eat the parts that didn't get to the ground.
Stupid paper bags.

The Atlas of Congenital Anomalies of External Gentilia contains some pretty awful stuff (with pics, of course), like this page (which I think should be renamed Republican's Disease) and you most definitely do not need to see this page.

In fact, don't click through on any of the links.

Thanks to leblanc for reminding me that I forgot to attribute the link to Metafilter.

Oops.

P, my lovely wife, is usually up and rolling well before I'm awake. Partially because she's a natural morning person and I'm very much a night owl but also because she's got the little baby inside her pressing on her bladder all the time, so she's up peeing alot.

Its actually worked out beautifully with potty training Nande. I take her out before I go to bed and, if she happens to wake up in the middle of the night and needs to pee, P will likely already be awake or in some stage of waking. And she'll take Nande out for a walk in the morning which is great for both of them, heck, its great for me too. The exercise does P alot of good and Nande is engaging ever more synapses as she sniffs and explores and learns more about her world.

I read last night that there is a six month window from birth to try and recruit as many synaptic connections as possible. The more the puppy gets to do, see, taste, touch and all that means that, literally, their brain will develop more fully and they'll be a happier and more "complete" animal. So, I'm planning on some fun outings as soon as she's cleared for them. Like taking her to the beach, taking her to play disc golf, maybe building her a pyramid to climb up and over and all kinds of other things.

But this morning, I got to see P just after she'd gotten out of the shower and was slowly working on getting dressed. A naked and very pregnant and very beautiful woman. She looks further along than just over six months but the doc says she's doing perfectly and that's good enough for me. Her back is sore and she's tired alot of the time but she's in pretty good spirits most of the time and has that contented glow of pending mommahood upon her. Maybe I'll snap a picture of her one morning to show just how big her belly has gotten already.

It also served as a really good reminder to me that I've gotta be taking on more and more of the duties around the house because she's just less able to do them as well anymore. Like when she turns sideways in an effort to slip past something, sorry, babe, that ain't happening anymore. She's wider sideways than frontways now.

I know that we've got a huge life altering event on the horizon but its one that we're both excited about and very much looking forward to. I love the idea of coming home from work to my family. Its already pretty wonderful with P and Nande waiting for me, Nande's little happy wiggles and grunting happiness is enough to erase almost any irritation. And maybe that needs some expounding, Nande "speaks" to me alot, in groans and emotion laden yowls and yips and all the other myriad sounds she makes. Its amazing cute and I love that I'm really the only one she does it for, it makes me feel even more bonded and connected to her.

For David, I will be adding new pictures to Nande's gallery later on this week. None of the pics from the party in the park came out well enough to post. And the one of Nande and the HUGE Rottie would have been awesome but Nande had just ducked behind P's leg as I snapped. Oh well, plenty of opps in the offing. Like tomorrow night, we'll have Modoc and Brady over as well as a bunch of friends so there will be ample photo ops, I think.

And a PS:
If anyone has an interest in dogs and their rehabilitative abilities, check out Cell Dogs on Animal Planet. They don't have a site for the show but here's a link to a story about the program. Basically, inmates in prisons are selected to raise and train dogs to be used for disabled people. Its a really, really heartening and enlightening show. You get a glimpse of prison life, hear what some pretty normal looking people have done to end up prison and then you see how they love, really love, their dogs and train them to be great aides.

Last night's episode was about the California Institute for Women and all the dog trainers were convicted of some pretty violent crimes like murder, manslaughter and the like. They all copped to it, which I'm guessing was part of the deal, and made no apologies and they'd been in prison for more than ten years each, at least. The dogs were awesome and seeing the pleasure that the inmates derived from the dogs was pretty cool.

Layne, you should check it out for sure if you're on puppy track.

Bush and Kerry Side By Side is a dual blog of the last handful of posts from each candidate's blog posted side by side. An interesting way to stay up on politics.

Spanish Gaming anyone?
AREA 29 has some pretty good games, mostly in shockwave but I think there are a couple of flash games as well.

A whole bunch of New Words to add. I've been saving a few but had several come to me this morning.

exass - the term for fools who buy far too much to show how cool they are. See anyone in a Hummer or Excursion for a good example.

pornfolio - a porn star's portfolio.

hatitard - pronounced hate-e-tard, someone who's ability to reason has been completely killed off by irrational hatred.

dumocracy - running a government with the fundamental concept of the people being a dumb as posts.

sarcaustic - corrosive and bitingly trenchant sarcasm.

sarcasuality - when someone gets "bitten" by sarcasm, enough to give up and leave.

This was a big weekend for Nande, almost her coming out party with friends coming down on Saturday and then her first major big time outing yesterday. Yesterday was a big party at one of the parks in Santa Cruz, it was a birthday party for one of our friends and there were between 60 and 120 people during the course of the day. Numerous dogs, lots of kids and some really, really loud music. The music was loud but it was actually quite good and I even recognized some mixes that are on my recently played playlist.

And through it all Nande was awesome. Friendly with the other dogs even though one Rottie outweighed her by at least a hundred pounds and had a head that was three feet across and looked like a bear's skull. A huge but friendly dog. Modoc and Brady, Nande's future best friends, were there for a bit but are still puppies who happen to inhabit full sized dog bodies. They are sweet but a little out of control.

We kept her leashed the whole time because it just made more sense and the retractable leash was the best thing ever. She could roam over a 26 foot radius from us and then still come rushing back for reassurances.

And everyone just loved her. She's so well behaved and mellow and only tried to jump on kids that were small enough for her to take down (she succeeded once but the little girl thought it was funny), both P and I felt like proud parents. By the end of the day Nande was pooped beyond belief and could barely muster up enough energy to climb into the car for the ride home.

This morning, after her walk along the slough, P gave Nande her first bath though it was more of a shower. She said the color of the water coming off her was dirty, dirty, dirty. We're pretty sure it was her first washing but definitely not her last and now, I have a slightly damp but clean and mildly stinky little puppy sleeping on her bed downstairs.

The hardest thing about Mondays for me is actually leaving the house and leaving her behind. I wish my office was dog friendly so that she could come and stay with me during the day. But my boss is getting pet health insurance so that's pretty cool.

And this will also be my first week as a director so that's pretty cool too. I'll have to write about the review in greater detail because I worked it pretty well and am proud of myself. For now, I've gotta go and get ready for work. Driving in today will suck but I want my bike at the office this week, the lunch time rides totally kick ass.

Oh yeah, one sad bit of news. My pal, Ken, flew to Colorado to see his sweetie, which is all well and good. Only problem is that one of his cats get hit by a car and was killed that same night. Almost in the same place where Modoc got hit two weeks ago. And that sucks!

Bush campaign gear made in Burma and sold in the US even though Bush banned the sale of Burmese products in this country. I guess the law doesn't apply to his smirkiness.

The perfect gift for everybody! The Beertender!


via Gizmodo

[Update: AllGuiness was wondering where he could get one of these slick little units and I wrote the company on Friday. They got back to me this morning and the news isn't good yet. The Beertenders are only available in Switzerland and the Netherlands for now and they do not have a license to ship to other countries as of yet. But they are working on it.]

How about a little cheese for this lovely Illegal Oil War Anniversary Friday morning?
That's right, its time for the

This week is all about word associations so let's get right to it.

Olympics, you say? = Dream Team farce
Politics = liars lying about other liars
John Kerry = Um, okay
George Bush = Um, no fucking way
Osama = Overdue justice
Same-sex marriage = what's the problem?
Todd Bertuzzi = violent sport poster boy
Barry Bonds = asterisk
The Passion of the Christ = yawn
Beach = hell yeah!
Britney Spears = Like, okay
Paris Hilton = the hottest retard around
Microsoft = IT poison
France = snail sucking wankers
Hans Blix = WMD
Linux = the new Apple
MTV = didn't they used to play music?
Outsource = jobs? we don't need no stinking jobs
Hummer H2 = penile enhancement device
Honor = a lost concept
Love = my wife
Courteney Love = skank

This was actually quite alot of fun to do. Maybe we'll have to do another one of these again, maybe more themed next time around. But anyway, there's this week's ! Want to play? Then go and get some!

Unrelated News
I'd forgotten to mention this in my post annual performance review write up yesterday, I've also been promoted as well. No longer a manager, I'm now a director which just helps to fluff up my resume nicely. And means I get all new business cards too!

And I was able to apply a little Survivor game technique to the review as well, we'd discussed rewards for the top tier super hits that make PR flacks cream themselves, places like the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, The Economist and other major hefe pubs. Instead of something solely for me, I parlayed those hits into lunch out for the whole office! I figure that'll help keep me on staff for at least another three days at a time.

And Even Less Related News
Jon Stewart has re-upped his contract with Comedy Central through 2008. Why does this matter? Because The Daily Show is among the most consistently funny and entertaining program on the box. And I interviewed a guy the other day who was an intern under Craig Kilborn who confirmed my initial impressions about him. Craig Stillborn is an unrequited ego stroked prick. I knew it before and its nice to have the validation. Jon Stewart, on the other hand, is genuinely funny and small enough to put in your pocket and take him home.

I was more irritated about this a few minutes while I was still in the throes of the commute. I drove my truck in today because I want to be able to take my bike home with me over the weekend.
Now, the traffic wasn't bad at all really, in fact, I don't think I had to come to a stop on the highway in at all. And that is saying something. But what I can't fathom are the fucking idiots who turn on their turn signals halfway through a turn. Is there any rationale for this? Do they think that people behind them hadn't yet figured it out that they are turning?

Its a pretty basic concept, if you've got people in other cars around you and you make turns without signalling then someday you're going to get rear ended for it. And if its me then I might just smack you upside the head too.

You know, anytime your boss refers to your work over the past year as excellent, things are going to go pretty well.

My annual performance review went far better than I allowed myself to hope. After the disappointment from last year and subsequent nightmare negotiations, this year was a lovefest.

My raise was more than I'd expected, my incentives are still in place and it even looks like I'll be getting some part time help as well! I also negotiated the time off coming up for the birth of the baby as well. And have a good roadmap of what I need to be working on improving in the next year.