Happy New Year, CYA 2003, How Ya Doing, 2004?
Bring it on! A new year is all about new chances, new changes, new, new, new and some brand new new. Oh boy.
2003 was good fun with only a few low points and many easy to point out high spots.
2004 should have lots of goodness as well.
Hope everyone stays safe and has a happy new year's evening and no one gets blowed up by terrorists or drunk idiots with fireworks or misguided national guardsmen with itchy trigger fingers.
See you all on the other side.
Bring it on! A new year is all about new chances, new changes, new, new, new and some brand new new. Oh boy.
2003 was good fun with only a few low points and many easy to point out high spots.
2004 should have lots of goodness as well.
Hope everyone stays safe and has a happy new year's evening and no one gets blowed up by terrorists or drunk idiots with fireworks or misguided national guardsmen with itchy trigger fingers.
See you all on the other side.
:: posted by Erik at 8:48 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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Poser Patrol Shout Outs
Just a a quick shout out or two or three to those members of society that are posing wankdaddys, people who produce nothing, take more than their share and are generally societal parasites that got lucky once or twice and have milked it into a career.
People like Martin Short, who's just truly indescribably irritating. I'd rather excavate my own brain with an ice cream scoop than be forced to watch this unfunny knob.
People like Hugh Grant, the typical English fop and a prick to boot. Alright!
Carrottop (or Carrotop or Carrot Top or Hey Asshole!) - um yeah. Do I really need to explain why he's here? No, I didn't think so.
Paul Schaeffer - take one ugly, skinny and short no talent ass kisser, pair him with an ugly, occasionally mildly and passingly humorous late night host and you get Paul Schaeffer, a man so devoid of a backbone and anything even resembling talent that he gives jellyfish a bad name
Diane Sawyer and all the other old scag newspeople who pretend to give a shit, but don't - they look all serious and interested during the flavor of the moment's tear jerking eight hundredth rendition of how their life spiraled into the drain only to be saved by direct and divinely inspired intervention by the current regime. Bleh, anything like a soul that these rich robotic freaks had has long ago shrivelled into a dust bunny and been swept into the catacombs of oblivion.
Gilbert Gottfried - anyone fuck who makes a living by having a the vocal equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard and fingertips on a balloon should have been drowned in a bathtub as a child.
Fran Drescher - see Gilbert Gottfried above. Also, notice how her speaking lines are kept super short in her new Old Navy commercials? There's a reason.
John Basedow - previously discussed here, Basedow and all the other charlatan exercise equipment and program pimps make money off of false promises, overt truths and the basic underlying fact that people are either inherently lazy or they are inherently active. The active ones don't need crap like the thighmaster, the lazy ones won't use it. Either way, they sell plastic and metal shit, rake in lots of money and then start thinking about the next crap "fitness" revolution they will make another $18 mil on.
Warren Knox - he's a local guy who runs a roofing company. That's dandy but he does his own commercials and seems to have concluded that people really, really, really want to look up his nose in his commercials. He puts the camera below his head so he can look down into it and we, the viewing audience, are treated to yet another exploration up his nose. In just about every commercial I've seen of his, he finds some way to get the camera to look up his nose. Warren, please stop, I've had nightmares about shoving both barrels from a double barrel shotgun up your nose, one for each nostril, please stop forcing people to look up your nose in your bad advertisements.
And this is only the beginning.
Just a a quick shout out or two or three to those members of society that are posing wankdaddys, people who produce nothing, take more than their share and are generally societal parasites that got lucky once or twice and have milked it into a career.
People like Martin Short, who's just truly indescribably irritating. I'd rather excavate my own brain with an ice cream scoop than be forced to watch this unfunny knob.
People like Hugh Grant, the typical English fop and a prick to boot. Alright!
Carrottop (or Carrotop or Carrot Top or Hey Asshole!) - um yeah. Do I really need to explain why he's here? No, I didn't think so.
Paul Schaeffer - take one ugly, skinny and short no talent ass kisser, pair him with an ugly, occasionally mildly and passingly humorous late night host and you get Paul Schaeffer, a man so devoid of a backbone and anything even resembling talent that he gives jellyfish a bad name
Diane Sawyer and all the other old scag newspeople who pretend to give a shit, but don't - they look all serious and interested during the flavor of the moment's tear jerking eight hundredth rendition of how their life spiraled into the drain only to be saved by direct and divinely inspired intervention by the current regime. Bleh, anything like a soul that these rich robotic freaks had has long ago shrivelled into a dust bunny and been swept into the catacombs of oblivion.
Gilbert Gottfried - anyone fuck who makes a living by having a the vocal equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard and fingertips on a balloon should have been drowned in a bathtub as a child.
Fran Drescher - see Gilbert Gottfried above. Also, notice how her speaking lines are kept super short in her new Old Navy commercials? There's a reason.
John Basedow - previously discussed here, Basedow and all the other charlatan exercise equipment and program pimps make money off of false promises, overt truths and the basic underlying fact that people are either inherently lazy or they are inherently active. The active ones don't need crap like the thighmaster, the lazy ones won't use it. Either way, they sell plastic and metal shit, rake in lots of money and then start thinking about the next crap "fitness" revolution they will make another $18 mil on.
Warren Knox - he's a local guy who runs a roofing company. That's dandy but he does his own commercials and seems to have concluded that people really, really, really want to look up his nose in his commercials. He puts the camera below his head so he can look down into it and we, the viewing audience, are treated to yet another exploration up his nose. In just about every commercial I've seen of his, he finds some way to get the camera to look up his nose. Warren, please stop, I've had nightmares about shoving both barrels from a double barrel shotgun up your nose, one for each nostril, please stop forcing people to look up your nose in your bad advertisements.
And this is only the beginning.
:: posted by Erik at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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Dec 30, 2003Like this post?
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The Real Terrorists
Sure, they're the people that strap explosives to themselves and kill as many of the "enemy" as they can. But isn't someone who tears at the fabric of our way of life just as guilty of terrorism? Someone who knows the rules and openly flaunts them as if they don't apply to them, they feign ignorance, they pretend to have not noticed but anyone who's ignorant is guilty and anyone who didn't notice should have it pointed out at them at high volume to embarrass and castigate them.
And what crime is my floating example guilty of? What heinous act has so rubbed my fur up the wrong way?
The worst cultural blight on the face of society.
The idiot with more than 9 items in the express lane at the checkout.
A creature so mind numbingly stupid as to go through the line with not just 10, not just 11 items but it looked like she was well into the high 20s and possibly even the 30s. A woman with that vacant stare of someone with a dirth of brain power, the neanderthalic heavy brow ridge, the me-so-stupid slack jawed grimace of the mindless.
And in the time it took for the polite cashier to ring up all of her purchases, so far exceeding the well publicized limit and offering neither explanation nor apology, the line of people who attempt to operate within the confines of the regulations and rules stretched back and across several checkout lanes. People that understand that 9 items means 9 goddamed items. It doesn't mean 10 or 12 or 15 or 20. It means fucking 9. If you can't count to nine or fifteen then you shouldn't be out in public without your handler. If its late at night and the store is empty and there are no other checkout lanes then you can go through the express checkout with more than 9 items but this was the rush hour, the time of the day when there are almost no parking spaces and there were no shopping carts and this moron of a mom had the sheer audacity to go through the express checkout with a shopping cart load of groceries.
She is the real terrorist, she is the real threat to this nation, she is the sand in the gears, the wrench in the works and the symbol of all that is profane and wrong.
Sure, they're the people that strap explosives to themselves and kill as many of the "enemy" as they can. But isn't someone who tears at the fabric of our way of life just as guilty of terrorism? Someone who knows the rules and openly flaunts them as if they don't apply to them, they feign ignorance, they pretend to have not noticed but anyone who's ignorant is guilty and anyone who didn't notice should have it pointed out at them at high volume to embarrass and castigate them.
And what crime is my floating example guilty of? What heinous act has so rubbed my fur up the wrong way?
The worst cultural blight on the face of society.
The idiot with more than 9 items in the express lane at the checkout.
A creature so mind numbingly stupid as to go through the line with not just 10, not just 11 items but it looked like she was well into the high 20s and possibly even the 30s. A woman with that vacant stare of someone with a dirth of brain power, the neanderthalic heavy brow ridge, the me-so-stupid slack jawed grimace of the mindless.
And in the time it took for the polite cashier to ring up all of her purchases, so far exceeding the well publicized limit and offering neither explanation nor apology, the line of people who attempt to operate within the confines of the regulations and rules stretched back and across several checkout lanes. People that understand that 9 items means 9 goddamed items. It doesn't mean 10 or 12 or 15 or 20. It means fucking 9. If you can't count to nine or fifteen then you shouldn't be out in public without your handler. If its late at night and the store is empty and there are no other checkout lanes then you can go through the express checkout with more than 9 items but this was the rush hour, the time of the day when there are almost no parking spaces and there were no shopping carts and this moron of a mom had the sheer audacity to go through the express checkout with a shopping cart load of groceries.
She is the real terrorist, she is the real threat to this nation, she is the sand in the gears, the wrench in the works and the symbol of all that is profane and wrong.
:: posted by Erik at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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Dec 28, 2003Like this post?
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Politics and An Animatronic First Lady
Is it just me or does Laura Bush look like one of the crappy animatronic animals from Jumanji? She is the most wooden and stiff, prozac/whiskey/zanax/valium cocktailed person I think I've ever seen. I wonder if she has a special person on her staff that just takes her pulse every so often to make sure she's still alive. She has the same pasted on smile on her face, the one that I read as oh-my-god-I-married-the-dumbest-redneck-ever-and-now-he's-president-and-I'm-going-to-hell-for-it.
I don't think I've heard her speak in like three years (just as ol' Shrub wants her, mute) and as perfectly coifed as a wax model. She makes Al Gore look positively lifelike in her ability to play the puppet.
The animatronic Laura Bush 'bot has held up so well, even withstanding little Shrubbie's chubby bumpers and that occasional laugh-at-sodomy-laws back door lovin', it must have been made by the Japanese.
Apparently Howard Dean's a little bit of a "free spirit" in that he doesn't toe the party line, doesn't color between the lines always and is the Democrats best chance to unseat Laura's woefully outwitted husband. The others, I can't even figure why Joe Lieberman runs, there's truly just no way a guy without a lower jaw is going to get elected President. That and he's a freakin' doormat. John Kerry mortgaged his house to keep his campaign going, yeah, right, you're saying John who? Exactly the point. Save your house and throw it in, dude. Al Sharpton? Is he kidding? Does he not realize that he's a living caricature of himself? Who else? Gephardt? Okay, a reasonably valid potential candidate but his stage presence is abysmal and he's got no real chance. Clark? Just a bit too whacked for most Americans, I'd bet. Kucinich? The guy makes alot of sense but I just don't think he's got the firepower to run with Dean. We'll see. All I know is that my motto for the 2004 Presidential Election is: Anybody but Bush. Four more years of Bush inspired stupidity might just cause our country to truly auger in.
Anyway, that's all I've got, just a few lines tossing poo at low hanging fruit.
But wait, there IS more.
Tomorrow is the final inspection on the house after some snafus. With some luck we will be finishing up the buying process on the 7th and possibly even starting to move in that following weekend. All good stuff because we're ready to change scenery. I'm currently learning about circular saws, work benches, home improvement books, bed platforms, crib plans, how to de-texturize walls, considering home security, dog breeds, dog houses, flag stone patios, fence replacement, wall destruction, skylight installation, garage work shops, pick up trucks, dump runs, versa-saws, wet dreams about Bob Vila and the decorating crews on TLC, motorcycle trade-ins, craigslist, craigslist, craigslist, hot tubs, saunas, greenhouses, carpentry, plumbing, kitchen remodeling and the ominpresent invisible meter ticking down to the arrival of Baby Huh next July.
Let's toss in a decent ride or two this week, maybe a trip to the shooting range, maybe the purchase of a 50 gallon fish tank and stand. And some late night painting parties at Paul's new place, getting my lip torn a bit by Modoc (the Weimerauner) in his excitement, selling off my inflatable boat at the yard sale this weekend, watching a nice fresh and untapped bottle of vodka slip from a grip and explode on the concrete front porch, learning neighborhood news, kyfing fresh nugs, lecturing in-laws about the evil that is Walmart, returning wedding gifts on Boxing Day (smart move!) and having a couple of Macy's gift cards to play with. And king sized beds!
Thank you and good night.
Is it just me or does Laura Bush look like one of the crappy animatronic animals from Jumanji? She is the most wooden and stiff, prozac/whiskey/zanax/valium cocktailed person I think I've ever seen. I wonder if she has a special person on her staff that just takes her pulse every so often to make sure she's still alive. She has the same pasted on smile on her face, the one that I read as oh-my-god-I-married-the-dumbest-redneck-ever-and-now-he's-president-and-I'm-going-to-hell-for-it.
I don't think I've heard her speak in like three years (just as ol' Shrub wants her, mute) and as perfectly coifed as a wax model. She makes Al Gore look positively lifelike in her ability to play the puppet.
The animatronic Laura Bush 'bot has held up so well, even withstanding little Shrubbie's chubby bumpers and that occasional laugh-at-sodomy-laws back door lovin', it must have been made by the Japanese.
Apparently Howard Dean's a little bit of a "free spirit" in that he doesn't toe the party line, doesn't color between the lines always and is the Democrats best chance to unseat Laura's woefully outwitted husband. The others, I can't even figure why Joe Lieberman runs, there's truly just no way a guy without a lower jaw is going to get elected President. That and he's a freakin' doormat. John Kerry mortgaged his house to keep his campaign going, yeah, right, you're saying John who? Exactly the point. Save your house and throw it in, dude. Al Sharpton? Is he kidding? Does he not realize that he's a living caricature of himself? Who else? Gephardt? Okay, a reasonably valid potential candidate but his stage presence is abysmal and he's got no real chance. Clark? Just a bit too whacked for most Americans, I'd bet. Kucinich? The guy makes alot of sense but I just don't think he's got the firepower to run with Dean. We'll see. All I know is that my motto for the 2004 Presidential Election is: Anybody but Bush. Four more years of Bush inspired stupidity might just cause our country to truly auger in.
Anyway, that's all I've got, just a few lines tossing poo at low hanging fruit.
But wait, there IS more.
Tomorrow is the final inspection on the house after some snafus. With some luck we will be finishing up the buying process on the 7th and possibly even starting to move in that following weekend. All good stuff because we're ready to change scenery. I'm currently learning about circular saws, work benches, home improvement books, bed platforms, crib plans, how to de-texturize walls, considering home security, dog breeds, dog houses, flag stone patios, fence replacement, wall destruction, skylight installation, garage work shops, pick up trucks, dump runs, versa-saws, wet dreams about Bob Vila and the decorating crews on TLC, motorcycle trade-ins, craigslist, craigslist, craigslist, hot tubs, saunas, greenhouses, carpentry, plumbing, kitchen remodeling and the ominpresent invisible meter ticking down to the arrival of Baby Huh next July.
Let's toss in a decent ride or two this week, maybe a trip to the shooting range, maybe the purchase of a 50 gallon fish tank and stand. And some late night painting parties at Paul's new place, getting my lip torn a bit by Modoc (the Weimerauner) in his excitement, selling off my inflatable boat at the yard sale this weekend, watching a nice fresh and untapped bottle of vodka slip from a grip and explode on the concrete front porch, learning neighborhood news, kyfing fresh nugs, lecturing in-laws about the evil that is Walmart, returning wedding gifts on Boxing Day (smart move!) and having a couple of Macy's gift cards to play with. And king sized beds!
Thank you and good night.
:: posted by Erik at 10:07 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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Dec 27, 2003Like this post?
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Happy Cheddar X!
That's right, its time for another run at the
! A little later than usual but that's okay, there are no hard and fast rules about when the new questions go up and I think there was a holiday or something this week. So, let's get to the questions.
1. What's the best porn name you've seen or invented?
The only one that comes to mind was an absurdly bad take on Star Trek called Porn Trek: The Next Penetration. But there was another one called Genderella that I saw on the video rentals wall, apparently it was about a beautiful princess that turns out to be a prince.
2. What's the most recent thing you've eaten off the ground?
Doritos last night while I was "helping" some friends paint their new house. Five second rule was definitely in effect after two or three beers (mmmmm, Newcastle!).
3. What's your favorite meal (sneaking suspicion this has been asked before)?
Grilled marinated skirt steak with fresh sliced pineapple grilled on top of it. My mediteranean salad (tomatoes, basil, mozzerella, feta, olives, avocado and a few other goodies, my recipe for it is right here). Maybe some grilled veggies and some quality beer to go with it, something like a Sam Smith's Oatmeal Stout, a Guinness or similar big flavor beer.
4. What's the lamest blog name you know of?
There are so many and I seem to come across them all the time via the random link on my side bar. I'd have to say any blog that is the person's name and the word blog is lame. Or the first name for Intellectual Poison was pretty damned lame, something about rants I think.
5. Which blogger would you most like to meet in person?
For a long time its been Sedalina but she's in a bad place right now. My newest and most favorite blogger has gotta be Kat of Illmatic (which is a very cool name for a blog). I'd have a good time hanging out with her because she's funny as hell (anybody that can get drunk and start shouting "Mommy's sippy cup is thirsty" has my vote!). Yeah, I'd hang out with Kat. Though Carlene is also definitely in the mix too because I know for a fact that she knows how to have a rip roaring good time!
6. What is the most surprising thing about you?
One thing no one ever believes about me but is completely true is that I am a member of the 300 club meaning that I've benchpressed over three hundred pounds before. At that point it was almost double my body weight. During that same week I squatted well over 400 pounds. People don't ever realize that I'm really damned strong or used to be.
7. What is the best new word you've learned or made up?
I have a whole page of them but one of the newest and favorites is: Attitard - someone who's world outlook is so utterly warped that they are, effectively, socially retarded.
Phew, and there's my, the last one this year. Want some? Go and get it!
That's right, its time for another run at the
! A little later than usual but that's okay, there are no hard and fast rules about when the new questions go up and I think there was a holiday or something this week. So, let's get to the questions.
1. What's the best porn name you've seen or invented?
The only one that comes to mind was an absurdly bad take on Star Trek called Porn Trek: The Next Penetration. But there was another one called Genderella that I saw on the video rentals wall, apparently it was about a beautiful princess that turns out to be a prince.
2. What's the most recent thing you've eaten off the ground?
Doritos last night while I was "helping" some friends paint their new house. Five second rule was definitely in effect after two or three beers (mmmmm, Newcastle!).
3. What's your favorite meal (sneaking suspicion this has been asked before)?
Grilled marinated skirt steak with fresh sliced pineapple grilled on top of it. My mediteranean salad (tomatoes, basil, mozzerella, feta, olives, avocado and a few other goodies, my recipe for it is right here). Maybe some grilled veggies and some quality beer to go with it, something like a Sam Smith's Oatmeal Stout, a Guinness or similar big flavor beer.
4. What's the lamest blog name you know of?
There are so many and I seem to come across them all the time via the random link on my side bar. I'd have to say any blog that is the person's name and the word blog is lame. Or the first name for Intellectual Poison was pretty damned lame, something about rants I think.
5. Which blogger would you most like to meet in person?
For a long time its been Sedalina but she's in a bad place right now. My newest and most favorite blogger has gotta be Kat of Illmatic (which is a very cool name for a blog). I'd have a good time hanging out with her because she's funny as hell (anybody that can get drunk and start shouting "Mommy's sippy cup is thirsty" has my vote!). Yeah, I'd hang out with Kat. Though Carlene is also definitely in the mix too because I know for a fact that she knows how to have a rip roaring good time!
6. What is the most surprising thing about you?
One thing no one ever believes about me but is completely true is that I am a member of the 300 club meaning that I've benchpressed over three hundred pounds before. At that point it was almost double my body weight. During that same week I squatted well over 400 pounds. People don't ever realize that I'm really damned strong or used to be.
7. What is the best new word you've learned or made up?
I have a whole page of them but one of the newest and favorites is: Attitard - someone who's world outlook is so utterly warped that they are, effectively, socially retarded.
Phew, and there's my
, the last one this year. Want some? Go and get it!
:: posted by Erik at 8:45 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Dec 25, 2003Like this post?
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A Christmas Mystery
This isn't really about Christmas but since its Christmas day today and this is what I'm posting about then its a Christmas mystery.
Why do software makers lie when it comes to status bars? You know, when you're installing some new widget for your computer or waiting for the connection manager stuff to load up the template or whatever and that status bar ticks off the percentage of "doneness" the install is and then it gets to 99% and hangs and hangs and hangs? What is the deal with that? Its ridiculous to think that they don't believe people will notice that half the install time is spent at 99% waiting for it to finish up.
And it bothers the hell out of me waiting for that final percentage point to finish. Why can't they just recalibrate it for honesty? If it will take three minutes then spread that three minutes across the whole percentage range? Otherwise I get pissed off waiting and waiting for that final single percentage point to finish up.
Merry Christmas, hope you all have enough batteries and didn't get stiffed by Santa this year (unless you're a Jehovah's Witness and then you knew it was coming anyway).
This isn't really about Christmas but since its Christmas day today and this is what I'm posting about then its a Christmas mystery.
Why do software makers lie when it comes to status bars? You know, when you're installing some new widget for your computer or waiting for the connection manager stuff to load up the template or whatever and that status bar ticks off the percentage of "doneness" the install is and then it gets to 99% and hangs and hangs and hangs? What is the deal with that? Its ridiculous to think that they don't believe people will notice that half the install time is spent at 99% waiting for it to finish up.
And it bothers the hell out of me waiting for that final percentage point to finish. Why can't they just recalibrate it for honesty? If it will take three minutes then spread that three minutes across the whole percentage range? Otherwise I get pissed off waiting and waiting for that final single percentage point to finish up.
Merry Christmas, hope you all have enough batteries and didn't get stiffed by Santa this year (unless you're a Jehovah's Witness and then you knew it was coming anyway).
:: posted by Erik at 1:23 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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Dec 24, 2003Like this post?
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What Kind of a Thinker Are You?
I came across the Thinker Quiz while I was over on Gudy Two Shoes and, being a sucker for quizzes that tell me what I am, I took it and found out that I am a Naturalist Thinker.
Naturalist Thinkers:
Like other Naturalist thinkers, Leonardo longed to spend time in the countryside. He spent hours watching birds to understand how they flew.
* Like to understand the natural world, and the living beings that inhabit it
* have an aptitude for communicating with animals
* You try to understand patterns of life and natural forces
Other Naturalist thinkers include
Charles Darwin, Jane Goodall, Johnny Morris, David Attenborough
Careers which suit Naturalist thinkers include
Biologist, Meteorologist, Forester, Farmer, Astronomer, Alternative therapist.
Note that they do not suggest public relations agent as a suitable career although I could make an argument that an alternative therapist is another form of PR flack. But that is about as close as I can get to my current profession.
I came across the Thinker Quiz while I was over on Gudy Two Shoes and, being a sucker for quizzes that tell me what I am, I took it and found out that I am a Naturalist Thinker.
Naturalist Thinkers:
Like other Naturalist thinkers, Leonardo longed to spend time in the countryside. He spent hours watching birds to understand how they flew.
* Like to understand the natural world, and the living beings that inhabit it
* have an aptitude for communicating with animals
* You try to understand patterns of life and natural forces
Other Naturalist thinkers include
Charles Darwin, Jane Goodall, Johnny Morris, David Attenborough
Careers which suit Naturalist thinkers include
Biologist, Meteorologist, Forester, Farmer, Astronomer, Alternative therapist.
Note that they do not suggest public relations agent as a suitable career although I could make an argument that an alternative therapist is another form of PR flack. But that is about as close as I can get to my current profession.
:: posted by Erik at 10:59 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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A Wednesday Morning WTF?
A comedy of errors, that was what it was to get into work and then into the office.
You see, yesterday I had somehow left my keys on my desk in my office. The keys I needed to unlock the front door and actually get into the building. Normally that's not any problem at all because usually our receptionist is here or someone else has showed up early.
Not this morning. This morning I nearly got killed by an asshole bus driver on my bike ride into work (in the rain! damnit!) and then had to hang out outside of the office for someone else to show up and let me in. So I went to Noah's and got my indulgent breakfast, an everything bagel toasted dark with turkey sausage egg and cheese.
There was a couple right in front me that were sort of a typical Santa Cruz couple. The girl was dressed pretty well and had made some effort to look presentable out in public. But her guy looked like he'd slept in his clothes and hadn't showered in a few days or shaved either. And he wore his hood up the whole time. But when he turned around I kind of understood why.
The guy had a tattoo going from his forehead down his nose. Some tribal looking thing although I didn't know the Skinny White People tribe was into facial tats.
Can you say unhirable? Yeah, I thought so. Seemed like a nice enough guy and I was sorely tempted to ask him if he'd gotten the tattoo when he was drunk or because he lost a bet. But there was a coffee crisis and I let it slide.
I can only imagine what his parents thought of that when he came home from the tattoo parlor with some fresh ink on his face.
Anyway, Happy Holidays to you all. We're on a short day and I'll get to see the gummi bear growing in P this afternoon again. It'll be exciting to see how much the little dude or dudette has grown in the last two weeks! And then I'm off work until the 2nd! Yee-frickin'-ha!
Busted Bloggin' News
Apparently there is some issue with Haloscan this morning because comments are no longer posting. They can be read but they cannot be added to and I'm not sure why but I'll look into it and see what I can find out. Sorry for the hassle.
If you really have to say something then you are welcome to use the guestbook links to post notes.
[Update: Haloscan has fixed the problem and comments should be good to go again now as of 10:30 PST.]
A comedy of errors, that was what it was to get into work and then into the office.
You see, yesterday I had somehow left my keys on my desk in my office. The keys I needed to unlock the front door and actually get into the building. Normally that's not any problem at all because usually our receptionist is here or someone else has showed up early.
Not this morning. This morning I nearly got killed by an asshole bus driver on my bike ride into work (in the rain! damnit!) and then had to hang out outside of the office for someone else to show up and let me in. So I went to Noah's and got my indulgent breakfast, an everything bagel toasted dark with turkey sausage egg and cheese.
There was a couple right in front me that were sort of a typical Santa Cruz couple. The girl was dressed pretty well and had made some effort to look presentable out in public. But her guy looked like he'd slept in his clothes and hadn't showered in a few days or shaved either. And he wore his hood up the whole time. But when he turned around I kind of understood why.
The guy had a tattoo going from his forehead down his nose. Some tribal looking thing although I didn't know the Skinny White People tribe was into facial tats.
Can you say unhirable? Yeah, I thought so. Seemed like a nice enough guy and I was sorely tempted to ask him if he'd gotten the tattoo when he was drunk or because he lost a bet. But there was a coffee crisis and I let it slide.
I can only imagine what his parents thought of that when he came home from the tattoo parlor with some fresh ink on his face.
Anyway, Happy Holidays to you all. We're on a short day and I'll get to see the gummi bear growing in P this afternoon again. It'll be exciting to see how much the little dude or dudette has grown in the last two weeks! And then I'm off work until the 2nd! Yee-frickin'-ha!
Busted Bloggin' News
Apparently there is some issue with Haloscan this morning because comments are no longer posting. They can be read but they cannot be added to and I'm not sure why but I'll look into it and see what I can find out. Sorry for the hassle.
If you really have to say something then you are welcome to use the guestbook links to post notes.
[Update: Haloscan has fixed the problem and comments should be good to go again now as of 10:30 PST.]
:: posted by Erik at 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Rain on Christmas Eve? Oh Sure
As many others did, I spent my eve before Christmas eve out humping the local stores in search of a few more things. Just a few and one gift for my boss (who just kicked down a nice fat bonus to me and I'd be the biggest dumbass ever if I didn't get her something cool and nice and notwithstanding the fact that she's really made an effort to be a better boss to me even if she did just fire my pal).
And you know what? I scored. I scored big. Big enough to effectively be done shopping. Of course, I'm using the fact that my brother and his family are in South Africa and my sister and her family are in France right now to let presents for them slide until next week when the whole world goes on sale.
This may strike some as very strange but I bought a mood ring. For myself. Its about half the width of my wedding band and provides much needed relief from the bone crushing annoyance of a thick ring. Yes it is cheesy, but its also kind of cool. I like it and still believe that it symbolizes my love and devotion to my wife so I've got no problems with it. So let's do a quick rundown on the colors.
Black - tense, nervous (and I can't relax, and a don't touch me I'm a real live wire.....), harrassed and overworked.
Gray - anxietiex (no lie, that's what the paper says), nervous, strained.
Amber - nervous emotions, mixed, unsettled, cool.
Green - Average reading active, not under great stress.
Blue-green - inner emotions charged, somewhat relaxed.
Blue - relaxed, at ease, calm and lovable.
Dark blue - Very happy love, passion, romance.
Avoid water, no wait, that's a warning but I've already gotten it wet when I was cleaning up last night at midnight.
Color is presently a blue to dark blue so I'm relaxed and horny.
Happy Holidays, Joyous Festivus, Kooky Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas (although the german Froliche Weinachten is so much more musical and cool to say) and all those other stacked on holidays. All I know is that I'm down working at noon and won't be back into the office until the 2nd of January!
As many others did, I spent my eve before Christmas eve out humping the local stores in search of a few more things. Just a few and one gift for my boss (who just kicked down a nice fat bonus to me and I'd be the biggest dumbass ever if I didn't get her something cool and nice and notwithstanding the fact that she's really made an effort to be a better boss to me even if she did just fire my pal).
And you know what? I scored. I scored big. Big enough to effectively be done shopping. Of course, I'm using the fact that my brother and his family are in South Africa and my sister and her family are in France right now to let presents for them slide until next week when the whole world goes on sale.
This may strike some as very strange but I bought a mood ring. For myself. Its about half the width of my wedding band and provides much needed relief from the bone crushing annoyance of a thick ring. Yes it is cheesy, but its also kind of cool. I like it and still believe that it symbolizes my love and devotion to my wife so I've got no problems with it. So let's do a quick rundown on the colors.
Black - tense, nervous (and I can't relax, and a don't touch me I'm a real live wire.....), harrassed and overworked.
Gray - anxietiex (no lie, that's what the paper says), nervous, strained.
Amber - nervous emotions, mixed, unsettled, cool.
Green - Average reading active, not under great stress.
Blue-green - inner emotions charged, somewhat relaxed.
Blue - relaxed, at ease, calm and lovable.
Dark blue - Very happy love, passion, romance.
Avoid water, no wait, that's a warning but I've already gotten it wet when I was cleaning up last night at midnight.
Color is presently a blue to dark blue so I'm relaxed and horny.
Happy Holidays, Joyous Festivus, Kooky Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas (although the german Froliche Weinachten is so much more musical and cool to say) and all those other stacked on holidays. All I know is that I'm down working at noon and won't be back into the office until the 2nd of January!
:: posted by Erik at 8:02 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Dec 23, 2003Like this post?
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Two Quick Issues, One Good, One Pure Evil
And by evil, I mean just incredibly freakin' irritating but we'll get there in a moment.
First, Jay was cool enough to put together a favicon for the URL bar for Intellectual Poison. If you are using Internet Explorer then you won't be able to see it because Bill Gates hates you (and everyone else too). But it looks very cool in Netscape and Mozilla and (assumedly) Safari but I'll have to check that when I get home tonight.
And now to the pure evil pain in the freakin' ass. We were supposed to meet up with the realtor to get access to the house so we could have it inspected for termite damage as there is no way we are buying any house without a proper inspection first to make sure we're not getting a hollow walled money pit of a house. So P took some time out from her afternoon and went over to the house. The termite inspector guy was there on time. The problem? The goddamned realtor never showed up! Upon calling in to her office, P found out that she had a family emergency and that's fine, I can understand that life throws you a curveball every now and again. But, if you are a paid agent for someone and you have an appointment to keep with people then you need to damn well make sure someone else covers your ass for you. Even if they just had someone calling to reschedule, that would have been plenty. But no, nothing. And the realtor, admittedly has other things on her mind, but still she needs to keep on top of her business as well or she'll find herself out of business. And now we have to wait again until she gets her shit cleared up. There's no way we're moving into this house until all of this stuff has been cleared and she apologizes to P for wasting her (and my) time.
Another New Word Alert
Another new word to add to the ever growing lexicon of Intellectual Poison.
Conflucked - the state of being confused and conflicted about whether or not to bump uglies with that cute chick you met at the bar even though you're married/dating or otherwise off the market.
And by evil, I mean just incredibly freakin' irritating but we'll get there in a moment.
First, Jay was cool enough to put together a favicon for the URL bar for Intellectual Poison. If you are using Internet Explorer then you won't be able to see it because Bill Gates hates you (and everyone else too). But it looks very cool in Netscape and Mozilla and (assumedly) Safari but I'll have to check that when I get home tonight.
And now to the pure evil pain in the freakin' ass. We were supposed to meet up with the realtor to get access to the house so we could have it inspected for termite damage as there is no way we are buying any house without a proper inspection first to make sure we're not getting a hollow walled money pit of a house. So P took some time out from her afternoon and went over to the house. The termite inspector guy was there on time. The problem? The goddamned realtor never showed up! Upon calling in to her office, P found out that she had a family emergency and that's fine, I can understand that life throws you a curveball every now and again. But, if you are a paid agent for someone and you have an appointment to keep with people then you need to damn well make sure someone else covers your ass for you. Even if they just had someone calling to reschedule, that would have been plenty. But no, nothing. And the realtor, admittedly has other things on her mind, but still she needs to keep on top of her business as well or she'll find herself out of business. And now we have to wait again until she gets her shit cleared up. There's no way we're moving into this house until all of this stuff has been cleared and she apologizes to P for wasting her (and my) time.
Another New Word Alert
Another new word to add to the ever growing lexicon of Intellectual Poison.
Conflucked - the state of being confused and conflicted about whether or not to bump uglies with that cute chick you met at the bar even though you're married/dating or otherwise off the market.
:: posted by Erik at 2:50 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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Taking the Plunge
Well its now almost completely official, Intellectual Poison apparently has an RSS Feed but since I don't have a feed reader I can't check to make sure its valid (though I did run it through the Userland Validator and IT said everything is groovy).
If anyone does syndicate Intellectual Poison and there's an issue then please drop me a note to let me know. I'll probably get an aggregator tonight and mess around with it though.
Quality Song Line of the Day
By the long lost and much lamented kings of rap, NWA, in their anthem, "Dopeman". "Ho, if you want a hit you gotta get your knees dirty." Now that's honesty!
By the Way
Has anyone else noticed that Blogger's "Draft" setting doesn't do anything but delete whatever you're trying to set as a draft? Kind of sucks because I've now lost a bunch of posts that I was working on that have since disappeared. Lame, very lame, blogger!
Well its now almost completely official, Intellectual Poison apparently has an RSS Feed but since I don't have a feed reader I can't check to make sure its valid (though I did run it through the Userland Validator and IT said everything is groovy).
If anyone does syndicate Intellectual Poison and there's an issue then please drop me a note to let me know. I'll probably get an aggregator tonight and mess around with it though.
Quality Song Line of the Day
By the long lost and much lamented kings of rap, NWA, in their anthem, "Dopeman". "Ho, if you want a hit you gotta get your knees dirty." Now that's honesty!
By the Way
Has anyone else noticed that Blogger's "Draft" setting doesn't do anything but delete whatever you're trying to set as a draft? Kind of sucks because I've now lost a bunch of posts that I was working on that have since disappeared. Lame, very lame, blogger!
:: posted by Erik at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Eye Contact with the Wet and the Homeless
I don't have a heart of pure coal, there are sparks of softness in there and its hard to not feel some sympathy for people who are down on their luck sitting out in the cold, trying to stay dry in what passes for a Californian winter wonderland.
I felt bad for the guy, I could see he was cold, he was hungry and he was definitely not enjoying his current status of the street, at least not today. I was on my way into the grocery store, walked past him, said hello to him, recognized his existence, expected a request for some spare change but none came. So I fully expected it on my way back out.
I'd contemplated buying him a cinnamon roll or a muffin or something tangible but did not. I don't really know why, it wasn't a question of the money, who really cares about two bucks anyway (excepting those that don't have two bucks at all)? And its almost Christmas so why didn't I get it for him on that spirit? I don't know aside from the ubiquitous blogger ennui against Christmas in general. Although perhaps ennui isn't the proper term, maybe its more of a deep and lasting dissatisfaction with a holiday firmly rooted in commercial enterprise.
In any case, I did not buy him a cinnamon roll and since I'd used my debit card I had no change to give to him when he did ask me, after I'd already walked by him, he sort of blurted it out but I replied that I had none and was sorry. And kept walking back to my office.
I guess I'm wondering if homeless beggar types generate more income during crappy weather like this because people automatically feel worse for them than usual? After all, its damned hard to feel all that bad about someone lazing in a public park all day in the sun with their pals drinking cheap wine and laughing alot. Or heckling people from their perch next to a dumpster, drunk at 10 in the morning. Or, the homeless person's most irritating trick, when they cross a street and there are more than two of them, they will do this either consciously or unconsciously but they'll spread themselves out to take up the absolutely most amount of time possible to cross the road, a ten foot gap is normal and they will shuffle at an excrutiatingly slow pace. Have the audacity to beep at them because the light's green and you've got a job or other mildly important place to get to and they'll downshift to move even slower, "accidentally" dropping one of their plastic shopping bags filled with more bags or whatever the hell else they've got. If you're lucky then you might get "treated" to a freak out, a short (hopefully) expression session by the homeless wank.
It goes like this, something sets him off and he commences to generate random arm gestures, head movements, leg movements and strange voices emanate from his gullet. I've seen two homeless yanks having simultaneous freakouts, one in the crosswalk, the other at the corner, it was like they were competing or some garbage. And what can the driver do? They have no interest in coming in contact with the filthy crazy bugger as its far more likely they've got something unsavory then they are clean. Sit out, rev your engine, honk your horn, fiddle with the radio or whatever but that asshole homeless guy is going to finish his performance before moving on.
Anyway, I feel bad for not getting the guy a cinnamon roll but hey, I rode my bike to work in the rain, where's MY friggin' sympathy? Not that it was that bad, I rather enjoyed the spectacle of it.
And time for a spot of good news, we'll know today if the house is clear of termites and, therefore, ready for us to move in. The closing date is now the 7th of January which means we'll have to vacate our current spot a month early on a year long lease but that's alright. But it also means that I'll be getting a beater car soon and that's fine by me because a 15 mile bike ride in the rain just ain't happening! Keep your fingers crossed that the inspection goes well.
I don't have a heart of pure coal, there are sparks of softness in there and its hard to not feel some sympathy for people who are down on their luck sitting out in the cold, trying to stay dry in what passes for a Californian winter wonderland.
I felt bad for the guy, I could see he was cold, he was hungry and he was definitely not enjoying his current status of the street, at least not today. I was on my way into the grocery store, walked past him, said hello to him, recognized his existence, expected a request for some spare change but none came. So I fully expected it on my way back out.
I'd contemplated buying him a cinnamon roll or a muffin or something tangible but did not. I don't really know why, it wasn't a question of the money, who really cares about two bucks anyway (excepting those that don't have two bucks at all)? And its almost Christmas so why didn't I get it for him on that spirit? I don't know aside from the ubiquitous blogger ennui against Christmas in general. Although perhaps ennui isn't the proper term, maybe its more of a deep and lasting dissatisfaction with a holiday firmly rooted in commercial enterprise.
In any case, I did not buy him a cinnamon roll and since I'd used my debit card I had no change to give to him when he did ask me, after I'd already walked by him, he sort of blurted it out but I replied that I had none and was sorry. And kept walking back to my office.
I guess I'm wondering if homeless beggar types generate more income during crappy weather like this because people automatically feel worse for them than usual? After all, its damned hard to feel all that bad about someone lazing in a public park all day in the sun with their pals drinking cheap wine and laughing alot. Or heckling people from their perch next to a dumpster, drunk at 10 in the morning. Or, the homeless person's most irritating trick, when they cross a street and there are more than two of them, they will do this either consciously or unconsciously but they'll spread themselves out to take up the absolutely most amount of time possible to cross the road, a ten foot gap is normal and they will shuffle at an excrutiatingly slow pace. Have the audacity to beep at them because the light's green and you've got a job or other mildly important place to get to and they'll downshift to move even slower, "accidentally" dropping one of their plastic shopping bags filled with more bags or whatever the hell else they've got. If you're lucky then you might get "treated" to a freak out, a short (hopefully) expression session by the homeless wank.
It goes like this, something sets him off and he commences to generate random arm gestures, head movements, leg movements and strange voices emanate from his gullet. I've seen two homeless yanks having simultaneous freakouts, one in the crosswalk, the other at the corner, it was like they were competing or some garbage. And what can the driver do? They have no interest in coming in contact with the filthy crazy bugger as its far more likely they've got something unsavory then they are clean. Sit out, rev your engine, honk your horn, fiddle with the radio or whatever but that asshole homeless guy is going to finish his performance before moving on.
Anyway, I feel bad for not getting the guy a cinnamon roll but hey, I rode my bike to work in the rain, where's MY friggin' sympathy? Not that it was that bad, I rather enjoyed the spectacle of it.
And time for a spot of good news, we'll know today if the house is clear of termites and, therefore, ready for us to move in. The closing date is now the 7th of January which means we'll have to vacate our current spot a month early on a year long lease but that's alright. But it also means that I'll be getting a beater car soon and that's fine by me because a 15 mile bike ride in the rain just ain't happening! Keep your fingers crossed that the inspection goes well.
:: posted by Erik at 9:22 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Dec 22, 2003Like this post?
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Sporting News Update
In No-One-Gives-the-First-Damn News, Rodman to Come out of Retirement. That's right folks, the NBA's clown royal is coming back to throw temper tantrums, dye his head a different shade of stupid every day and put more metal through his face to appeal to the teenage morons who think its cool.
At his recent press conference to announce his return, Rodman was heard to say "Kobe be getting all that hot mountain girl action, I gotta get on that train!"
Newsflash, Mr. Worm, basketball sucked goat gonads before you played it, it sucked while you played, it sucked after you retired and it will continue to suck now that you're returning to it in the hopes of getting some headlines for your tiny little ego.
In Real Sporting News
The Orioles have signed another high profile stud to bolster up their shitty team (well they have sucked badly for the last few seasons) by signing Javy Lopez to provide some big bat power to Miquel Tejada's MVP swing. Next up? They're going to try damned hard to land Vladimir Guerrero who's a good friend of Miquel's and one of the most dangerous free swinging power hitters in the game. The fact that he's got a freakin' cannon for a right arm is just icing on the cake (read that, its more than impressive to watch him through a laser from deep in right field to home plate with bouncing the ball).
Hot damn, my O's are gonna be a team again! But will it be enough to offset George "I Bought Four World Series" Steinbrenner's Spankees or the resurgent and powerful Boston Red Sox?
In No-One-Gives-the-First-Damn News, Rodman to Come out of Retirement. That's right folks, the NBA's clown royal is coming back to throw temper tantrums, dye his head a different shade of stupid every day and put more metal through his face to appeal to the teenage morons who think its cool.
At his recent press conference to announce his return, Rodman was heard to say "Kobe be getting all that hot mountain girl action, I gotta get on that train!"
Newsflash, Mr. Worm, basketball sucked goat gonads before you played it, it sucked while you played, it sucked after you retired and it will continue to suck now that you're returning to it in the hopes of getting some headlines for your tiny little ego.
In Real Sporting News
The Orioles have signed another high profile stud to bolster up their shitty team (well they have sucked badly for the last few seasons) by signing Javy Lopez to provide some big bat power to Miquel Tejada's MVP swing. Next up? They're going to try damned hard to land Vladimir Guerrero who's a good friend of Miquel's and one of the most dangerous free swinging power hitters in the game. The fact that he's got a freakin' cannon for a right arm is just icing on the cake (read that, its more than impressive to watch him through a laser from deep in right field to home plate with bouncing the ball).
Hot damn, my O's are gonna be a team again! But will it be enough to offset George "I Bought Four World Series" Steinbrenner's Spankees or the resurgent and powerful Boston Red Sox?
:: posted by Erik at 2:42 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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A Further Joy of Living in California
We felt an Earthquake in San Simeon that hit 6.5 on the Richter scale just a few minutes ago.
Enough to shake the building even though we're a good 150 miles north of the epicenter! Yowza! That puts alot of things into perspective! We'll see how much damage that little shaker did but I would guess that its more than a foot massage as the California Cheese Council would have us think.
We felt an Earthquake in San Simeon that hit 6.5 on the Richter scale just a few minutes ago.
Enough to shake the building even though we're a good 150 miles north of the epicenter! Yowza! That puts alot of things into perspective! We'll see how much damage that little shaker did but I would guess that its more than a foot massage as the California Cheese Council would have us think.
:: posted by Erik at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Shit Sandwich
Well this sucks. And there's not a damned thing I can do about it.
My good friend just lost his job with my company. We knew there were some issues but I didn't think he was going to get fired just before the end of the year. I'm pretty bummed right now and feel terrible for him because I know he was enjoying the position and was learning mad amounts about our industry. Damn!
Sorry, buddy!
Well this sucks. And there's not a damned thing I can do about it.
My good friend just lost his job with my company. We knew there were some issues but I didn't think he was going to get fired just before the end of the year. I'm pretty bummed right now and feel terrible for him because I know he was enjoying the position and was learning mad amounts about our industry. Damn!
Sorry, buddy!
:: posted by Erik at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Monday on a Short Week
Its not a whole lot easier but it was markedly easier to get going this morning knowing that we're staring at a nice short week punctuated by some good markers.
Today should see the start of the arrival of several new bits of high tech joy for my life. The best one is the most expensive (go figure) but is so needed right now that I can't even begin to tell you. Its a Bigger. Hard. Drive for my laptop. Make that Double.Sized.Bigger.Hard.Drive. Which means I'll have some space to stretch out in again and I need it. My iTunes has trouble closing right now because the hard drive is so stuffed full right now.
This weekend was all about becoming an artisan ice cream maker. Following hot on the heels of my recent Mint Chip Ice Cream victories, I plunged headlong into making one of my favorite and perennially undercredited ice cream flavors, Butter Pecan. The short story of it is that I made some of the finest Butter Pecan ice cream ever. Pretty amazingly good stuff and not hard at all to whip up. Maybe I'll do a quick write up for Cooking Stories but maybe not. There are other flavors to plunge into anyway, like peach, strawberry, maybe some pomegranate (I'll send a pint to you if it comes out decently well, Amy) and a few others that I'm not quite ready to go public with yet (never know when the Ben & Jerry's guys might be checking in).
Tomorrow is the termite inspection (I'd been led to believe that it was LAST Tuesday but apparently not) so we should have a very solid idea of whether we get this house, when we might be moving in and what our monthly payments are going to look like, all very important things, no?
Wednesday will be P's next ultrasound and we'll get to see how much the gummi bear inside her has grown and changed in the last couple of weeks. It should be pretty freakin' cool I think. Still too early to determine sex but that's okay, we've got plenty of time to get all those details sorted out.
In other news, some very good friends of ours are celebrating the birth of their second child, a happy and healthy little boy named Will! Nicely done Mandi and Jamie! We will look forward to meeting your newest member of the family soon.
On a side note, Jay sent me what has got to be the best picture of his son, Lex, last week. He's wearing a little wizard's peaked hat and has the funniest expression on his face, obviously tickled pink at what's happening.
I've got a couple of movie reviews to write up from the weekend and have a few pithy comments to make about all kinds of groovy stuff. And I was very sorely tempted to make the break and move Intellectual Poison over to Movable Type this weekend. It was only through sheer lack of any motivating power that I was able to not do it. But I got some damned cool stuff online! And I found out that my eyes haven't gotten any worse in the last 15 months even though they have been feeling like someone's pouring gasoline into them at night these days.
And a quick Intellectual Poison gift poll:
Better gift? A Canon photo printer dealie so we can make better and more immediate use of our digital pictures or some home repair/upgrade tools to get us prepped up for the new house and the work we'll be putting in there? Or, a very cool but mildly pricey Brazilian carved hydrostone that's been sliced open on the top half to expose millions of sparkling surfaces, its in the shape of a heart too. The only problem with it is that it really doesn't do anything, its pretty so I guess that's something but that's about all it does. And with P in a practicallity oriented mode right now I would just as soon jibe with that.
Besides, the home tools would enable me to build a crib and other goodies for the new house. From a practical point of view the house tools are the best bet but I don't necessarily have to be practical. Any input would be most welcome.
Oops, gotta run, time to delete ever more spam. Stupid crap keeps piling up all of a sudden after months of decline the spam is outnumbering the legitimate email at least three to one and probably closer to five to one. How many times do I need to be spammed to get plumper lips and a bigger penis or my driver's license and an internatiol diploma or delete the emails from my good friends in Nigeria and other African nations? Come on now, no one's stupid enough to buy the line of shite they're selling. And to the asshats at FunkyFingerShades.com, stop sending me the same stupid goddamned spam every ten minutes you retarded chunder monkeys!
Its not a whole lot easier but it was markedly easier to get going this morning knowing that we're staring at a nice short week punctuated by some good markers.
Today should see the start of the arrival of several new bits of high tech joy for my life. The best one is the most expensive (go figure) but is so needed right now that I can't even begin to tell you. Its a Bigger. Hard. Drive for my laptop. Make that Double.Sized.Bigger.Hard.Drive. Which means I'll have some space to stretch out in again and I need it. My iTunes has trouble closing right now because the hard drive is so stuffed full right now.
This weekend was all about becoming an artisan ice cream maker. Following hot on the heels of my recent Mint Chip Ice Cream victories, I plunged headlong into making one of my favorite and perennially undercredited ice cream flavors, Butter Pecan. The short story of it is that I made some of the finest Butter Pecan ice cream ever. Pretty amazingly good stuff and not hard at all to whip up. Maybe I'll do a quick write up for Cooking Stories but maybe not. There are other flavors to plunge into anyway, like peach, strawberry, maybe some pomegranate (I'll send a pint to you if it comes out decently well, Amy) and a few others that I'm not quite ready to go public with yet (never know when the Ben & Jerry's guys might be checking in).
Tomorrow is the termite inspection (I'd been led to believe that it was LAST Tuesday but apparently not) so we should have a very solid idea of whether we get this house, when we might be moving in and what our monthly payments are going to look like, all very important things, no?
Wednesday will be P's next ultrasound and we'll get to see how much the gummi bear inside her has grown and changed in the last couple of weeks. It should be pretty freakin' cool I think. Still too early to determine sex but that's okay, we've got plenty of time to get all those details sorted out.
In other news, some very good friends of ours are celebrating the birth of their second child, a happy and healthy little boy named Will! Nicely done Mandi and Jamie! We will look forward to meeting your newest member of the family soon.
On a side note, Jay sent me what has got to be the best picture of his son, Lex, last week. He's wearing a little wizard's peaked hat and has the funniest expression on his face, obviously tickled pink at what's happening.
I've got a couple of movie reviews to write up from the weekend and have a few pithy comments to make about all kinds of groovy stuff. And I was very sorely tempted to make the break and move Intellectual Poison over to Movable Type this weekend. It was only through sheer lack of any motivating power that I was able to not do it. But I got some damned cool stuff online! And I found out that my eyes haven't gotten any worse in the last 15 months even though they have been feeling like someone's pouring gasoline into them at night these days.
And a quick Intellectual Poison gift poll:
Better gift? A Canon photo printer dealie so we can make better and more immediate use of our digital pictures or some home repair/upgrade tools to get us prepped up for the new house and the work we'll be putting in there? Or, a very cool but mildly pricey Brazilian carved hydrostone that's been sliced open on the top half to expose millions of sparkling surfaces, its in the shape of a heart too. The only problem with it is that it really doesn't do anything, its pretty so I guess that's something but that's about all it does. And with P in a practicallity oriented mode right now I would just as soon jibe with that.
Besides, the home tools would enable me to build a crib and other goodies for the new house. From a practical point of view the house tools are the best bet but I don't necessarily have to be practical. Any input would be most welcome.
Oops, gotta run, time to delete ever more spam. Stupid crap keeps piling up all of a sudden after months of decline the spam is outnumbering the legitimate email at least three to one and probably closer to five to one. How many times do I need to be spammed to get plumper lips and a bigger penis or my driver's license and an internatiol diploma or delete the emails from my good friends in Nigeria and other African nations? Come on now, no one's stupid enough to buy the line of shite they're selling. And to the asshats at FunkyFingerShades.com, stop sending me the same stupid goddamned spam every ten minutes you retarded chunder monkeys!
:: posted by Erik at 9:46 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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New Word Alert
I came up with another addition to my ever growing New Words page this afternoon as I was doing a little bit of shopping during lunch.
Attitard - someone who's world outlook is so utterly warped that they are, effectively, socially retarded. The people who walk in front of you at a store without saying excuse me or pardon me. The people who speed up their walking to get to a line before you. The attitard is the kind of person that slips through a closing door without touching it or holding it open for other people. They are the people that watch someone drop some papers when they're walking down the street and won't say anything because they are curious about what the papers say. Basically an attitard is someone who's absorbed with their own little universe and see everyone else as bit players in the magnificent drama that is their life.
Fictitious Band Names Entries
A slowly growing new feature of Intellectual Poison, band names that should be real bands but aren't, yet.
So here are my first entries to the category.
Asshole Patrol - which I see as a thrasher skate band of some kind, maybe some gay rockers but maybe not.
Deathrattle - this has to be a speed metal band or it would have to be an acoustic group pretending to be a speed metal band.
I came up with another addition to my ever growing New Words page this afternoon as I was doing a little bit of shopping during lunch.
Attitard - someone who's world outlook is so utterly warped that they are, effectively, socially retarded. The people who walk in front of you at a store without saying excuse me or pardon me. The people who speed up their walking to get to a line before you. The attitard is the kind of person that slips through a closing door without touching it or holding it open for other people. They are the people that watch someone drop some papers when they're walking down the street and won't say anything because they are curious about what the papers say. Basically an attitard is someone who's absorbed with their own little universe and see everyone else as bit players in the magnificent drama that is their life.
Fictitious Band Names Entries
A slowly growing new feature of Intellectual Poison, band names that should be real bands but aren't, yet.
So here are my first entries to the category.
Asshole Patrol - which I see as a thrasher skate band of some kind, maybe some gay rockers but maybe not.
Deathrattle - this has to be a speed metal band or it would have to be an acoustic group pretending to be a speed metal band.
:: posted by Erik at 2:27 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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Merry Cheddar X!
Some holiday themed to dig into this week.
1. What was your most memorable present you received as a child? Good or bad.
The one that stands out immediately is the Atari 2600 game console way, way, way back in the late 1970's at the huge house in Catonsville, Maryland.
2. What is your most favorite holiday memory? Tradition?
Easily my favorite is my entire hometown in Vermont turning out for the re-enactment of the Christmas story down main street in town. From Mary and Joseph being turned away at the Inn, to the angels signing above the shepherds to the final Baby Jesus in the manger in the barn further down the street, its a wonderful experience and I'm able to table my anti-religious attitude for at least a couple of hours to take part. Its also a great time to reconnect with old friends and get all nostalgic about when we were the shepherds huddled around the fire with the angels above us. Some years are just far to freakin' cold for words though and that sucks some of the fun right out of it. There is something special about standing in someone's front yard with the whole town singing Christmas songs.
3. Hot cocoa or hot apple cider?
Yep. Like them both but love hot apple cider.
4. Egg Nog. Yes or yuck?!
Yes. Love it but not too much as its a bit thick.
5. What's your favorite Christmas song or carol?
Eartha Kitt singing "Santa Baby" or Jimmy Buffett singing "Christmas in the Caribbean".
6. What's your favorite Christmas movie and why?
It's A Wonderful Life because its just such an uplifting movie. I will be very sad when Hollywood decides to remake it with car chases, gun fights and Matt Damon or worse, far worse, Colin Farrell.
7. Do you spend the holidays with your family or with your friends or neither?
I usually go home for Christmas but not because of the holiday specifically. I go home because its a longer holiday break than most and it makes more sense to get more time with my family if possible. We will see about this year's events as we're not heading back east.
8. What is the most thoughtful gift you've ever given to someone?
I think that anything made for someone is special, either something more tangible like woodworking or ceramics or something less tangible like a special story or song or memory. It aligns more with my concept of the season, its not about spending massive amounts of money and having a huge tree and covering it with decorations. Its about sharing a little piece of oneself with the people you love.
The, go get some!
Some holiday themed
to dig into this week.
1. What was your most memorable present you received as a child? Good or bad.
The one that stands out immediately is the Atari 2600 game console way, way, way back in the late 1970's at the huge house in Catonsville, Maryland.
2. What is your most favorite holiday memory? Tradition?
Easily my favorite is my entire hometown in Vermont turning out for the re-enactment of the Christmas story down main street in town. From Mary and Joseph being turned away at the Inn, to the angels signing above the shepherds to the final Baby Jesus in the manger in the barn further down the street, its a wonderful experience and I'm able to table my anti-religious attitude for at least a couple of hours to take part. Its also a great time to reconnect with old friends and get all nostalgic about when we were the shepherds huddled around the fire with the angels above us. Some years are just far to freakin' cold for words though and that sucks some of the fun right out of it. There is something special about standing in someone's front yard with the whole town singing Christmas songs.
3. Hot cocoa or hot apple cider?
Yep. Like them both but love hot apple cider.
4. Egg Nog. Yes or yuck?!
Yes. Love it but not too much as its a bit thick.
5. What's your favorite Christmas song or carol?
Eartha Kitt singing "Santa Baby" or Jimmy Buffett singing "Christmas in the Caribbean".
6. What's your favorite Christmas movie and why?
It's A Wonderful Life because its just such an uplifting movie. I will be very sad when Hollywood decides to remake it with car chases, gun fights and Matt Damon or worse, far worse, Colin Farrell.
7. Do you spend the holidays with your family or with your friends or neither?
I usually go home for Christmas but not because of the holiday specifically. I go home because its a longer holiday break than most and it makes more sense to get more time with my family if possible. We will see about this year's events as we're not heading back east.
8. What is the most thoughtful gift you've ever given to someone?
I think that anything made for someone is special, either something more tangible like woodworking or ceramics or something less tangible like a special story or song or memory. It aligns more with my concept of the season, its not about spending massive amounts of money and having a huge tree and covering it with decorations. Its about sharing a little piece of oneself with the people you love.
The
, go get some!
:: posted by Erik at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Three Months Per Loogie
Ex-Cook Spits on Trooper's Burger, Jailed
Ex-Cook Spits on Trooper's Burger, Jailed
:: posted by Erik at 10:07 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Jessica Lynch's "I'm A Soldier, Too" Book Sales Disappoint
Jessica book sales fall short and all I can say is Ha. Ha. Ha.
A bad story created from conjecture, ghost written by a disgraced hack and pimped to the world like nobody's business has fallen pretty well flat on its face. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Suck on that. Just over ten percent of the book's first (and only) printing of 500,000 copies has been sold and that means that it pretty well sucks. If only they'd gone with an all picture book layout. Which actually isn't a bad idea. Why not go for a graphic novel version of the book instead of all those boring old words? Or make it into an animated series for Fox Saturday Mornings?
Today's Stupid Quote
Normally I let things like this tripe slide by without calling attention to it but this quote just seems particularly grating this morning.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.- Elizabeth Bibesco
Why are they blessed? Are they blessed to be taken advantage of at every turn for the rest of their lives? Are they dim witted because they can't remember what they gave to someone? Do they give the same crappy nasty fruitcake to people every year? And do they continually recall that handful of party nuts they took at the Christmas party four years ago? This quote is meaningless to me and kind of irksome because of its feigned wholesomeness. Give without regard, take but remember and be thankful for what you've taken. Come on, maybe a less gag worthy quote would be like, "Take only what you need, give thanks to the giver, give what you can and always strive for grace in both."
Jessica book sales fall short and all I can say is Ha. Ha. Ha.
A bad story created from conjecture, ghost written by a disgraced hack and pimped to the world like nobody's business has fallen pretty well flat on its face. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Suck on that. Just over ten percent of the book's first (and only) printing of 500,000 copies has been sold and that means that it pretty well sucks. If only they'd gone with an all picture book layout. Which actually isn't a bad idea. Why not go for a graphic novel version of the book instead of all those boring old words? Or make it into an animated series for Fox Saturday Mornings?
Today's Stupid Quote
Normally I let things like this tripe slide by without calling attention to it but this quote just seems particularly grating this morning.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.- Elizabeth Bibesco
Why are they blessed? Are they blessed to be taken advantage of at every turn for the rest of their lives? Are they dim witted because they can't remember what they gave to someone? Do they give the same crappy nasty fruitcake to people every year? And do they continually recall that handful of party nuts they took at the Christmas party four years ago? This quote is meaningless to me and kind of irksome because of its feigned wholesomeness. Give without regard, take but remember and be thankful for what you've taken. Come on, maybe a less gag worthy quote would be like, "Take only what you need, give thanks to the giver, give what you can and always strive for grace in both."
:: posted by Erik at 9:41 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Clearing Out This Week's Random Ideas and Thoughts
Its Friday, time to discharge some drafted posts that I've been working on. They either fly or fry today so let's get right to them.
I wrote up my victory with the ice cream maker earlier this week, Acing the Mint Chip Final for Cooking Stories.
A thought I had earlier this week while doing laps with the remote control (you know, when all you seem to do is go through the entire run of tv stations and still can't seem to find anything worth watching). I've now instituted a personal rule, two laps and still nothing to watch means that its time to turn off the box and go do something else. Anyway, I got to thinking about which had more long term detrimental effects, occasional drug use or watching three or four hours of tv a day? Sure, combine the two for maximum detriment but let's keep them separate for now. I can pretty quickly think of a couple of arguments for both sides but am curious about it. Perhaps I'll have to write it out in a longer post to explore the concept further.
I'm sure quite alot of other people caught the Dinosaurs shows earlier this week on Discovery but if you did not then you really should make an effort to see them when they rebroadcast them. The animation is astonishingly good, the soundtracks are gripping (especially when listened to through the surround sound, nothing like hearing a dinosaur roar behind you) and the storylines are very well put together making the overall package highly polished, entertaining and educational as well. Awesome stuff!
Christmas is almost here and how many presents have I purchased? None. Looks like it will be a busy weekend. But with my brother's family in South Africa, my sister's family heading to France and the rest of the brood back on the east coast socked in by snow, ice and the fury of old man winter, I'm just not going to stress about it at all. P and I have talked about things for each other and the theme is home improvement so I'm looking at circular saws and the like. Things we will need to repair, refurbish and upgrade our house. That is, assuming that we end up getting it, this has been the quietest week of news yet but we should know tonight about the termite inspection.
Another thought I had the other night, one of the major failings of how people think about situations is that they forget to consider the future, they become too focused in the here and now and forget that time is nothing but a successive and endless series of instants. I think this is a major reason why people kill others, they forget to consider the ramifications and have temporarily reverted to a much more animalistic mindset, that right now is the paramount concern and let tomorrow work itself out when you get there. It seems simplistic but it would go to explain how someone can kill another person. Like the asshole who got into an argument with his wife/spouse or girlfriend on Highway 80, got out of the car and set fire to it. Killing two children in the car and inflicting burns over 85% of the woman's body. I hope that fucking scumbag moron gets to spend the rest of his life in prison, scared for his life. How could he have ever done any of it if he'd not forgotten to consider the future ramifications of his actions. I think he was just in an action/reaction mode without any brain cycles left over to consider the future and now he's all set, he'll never have to think about his future again. And maybe that's just as well.
Good Marketing Accolades
Anyone who's seen the recent Guinness "Brilliant" ads knows that they are good, entertaining spots without being in your face pleas to buy, buy, buy. The two cut out Irishmen are funny and the way they love to say Brilliant makes me laugh. They are also introducing new ones into rotation quickly so that all the commercials have a longer useful life without becoming tiresome. The fact that I like Guinness doesn't hurt either but it doesn't really help all that much, remember the Bud Salute commercials are great but I don't drink Budweiser.
Thanks Guinness, for doing a little more and creating some commercials that entertain instead of make me leap for the remote (has anyone else noticed the lack of any Carrottop collect call commercials? now you have).
And, am I the only that is compelled to reply to the tv everytime they do an ad for one of the worst shows ever created, Everybody Loves Raymond? I have to, HAVE. TO. reply and say, No they don't. Every time that effeminate wanker announcer joyously bursts out about what a great show it is and that Everybody does, in fact, Love Raymond. I don't and hate the show. I hate every idiot moron actor associated with it and can't believe that people actually voluntarily watch such horrid shit. It gives me hives just thinking about it.
Final Thought for the Morning
Out of 21 new messages in my in-box this morning, no less than 19 were from idiot spammers trying to extend my penis size, sell me the next Internet boom, sell me crappy stock advice and a few that were in Korean and I just didn't feel like downloading a Korean character font set to read about Korean tramps or whatever garbage they were selling.
And I've easily seen enough of the Nigerian or African spams from humble servants of Mr. Dr. Bongo Junglehumper or whatever fake name they invent. And yet I still get at least a dozen of them a day. Oh well, until someone develops a spam assassin or retro spam bomb or something, we'll just have to deal with it. I would definitely support legislation that punished the guilty with the chopping off of both their hands. That would be a reasonable deterrent to the others, wouldn't it?
Its Friday, time to discharge some drafted posts that I've been working on. They either fly or fry today so let's get right to them.
I wrote up my victory with the ice cream maker earlier this week, Acing the Mint Chip Final for Cooking Stories.
A thought I had earlier this week while doing laps with the remote control (you know, when all you seem to do is go through the entire run of tv stations and still can't seem to find anything worth watching). I've now instituted a personal rule, two laps and still nothing to watch means that its time to turn off the box and go do something else. Anyway, I got to thinking about which had more long term detrimental effects, occasional drug use or watching three or four hours of tv a day? Sure, combine the two for maximum detriment but let's keep them separate for now. I can pretty quickly think of a couple of arguments for both sides but am curious about it. Perhaps I'll have to write it out in a longer post to explore the concept further.
I'm sure quite alot of other people caught the Dinosaurs shows earlier this week on Discovery but if you did not then you really should make an effort to see them when they rebroadcast them. The animation is astonishingly good, the soundtracks are gripping (especially when listened to through the surround sound, nothing like hearing a dinosaur roar behind you) and the storylines are very well put together making the overall package highly polished, entertaining and educational as well. Awesome stuff!
Christmas is almost here and how many presents have I purchased? None. Looks like it will be a busy weekend. But with my brother's family in South Africa, my sister's family heading to France and the rest of the brood back on the east coast socked in by snow, ice and the fury of old man winter, I'm just not going to stress about it at all. P and I have talked about things for each other and the theme is home improvement so I'm looking at circular saws and the like. Things we will need to repair, refurbish and upgrade our house. That is, assuming that we end up getting it, this has been the quietest week of news yet but we should know tonight about the termite inspection.
Another thought I had the other night, one of the major failings of how people think about situations is that they forget to consider the future, they become too focused in the here and now and forget that time is nothing but a successive and endless series of instants. I think this is a major reason why people kill others, they forget to consider the ramifications and have temporarily reverted to a much more animalistic mindset, that right now is the paramount concern and let tomorrow work itself out when you get there. It seems simplistic but it would go to explain how someone can kill another person. Like the asshole who got into an argument with his wife/spouse or girlfriend on Highway 80, got out of the car and set fire to it. Killing two children in the car and inflicting burns over 85% of the woman's body. I hope that fucking scumbag moron gets to spend the rest of his life in prison, scared for his life. How could he have ever done any of it if he'd not forgotten to consider the future ramifications of his actions. I think he was just in an action/reaction mode without any brain cycles left over to consider the future and now he's all set, he'll never have to think about his future again. And maybe that's just as well.
Good Marketing Accolades
Anyone who's seen the recent Guinness "Brilliant" ads knows that they are good, entertaining spots without being in your face pleas to buy, buy, buy. The two cut out Irishmen are funny and the way they love to say Brilliant makes me laugh. They are also introducing new ones into rotation quickly so that all the commercials have a longer useful life without becoming tiresome. The fact that I like Guinness doesn't hurt either but it doesn't really help all that much, remember the Bud Salute commercials are great but I don't drink Budweiser.
Thanks Guinness, for doing a little more and creating some commercials that entertain instead of make me leap for the remote (has anyone else noticed the lack of any Carrottop collect call commercials? now you have).
And, am I the only that is compelled to reply to the tv everytime they do an ad for one of the worst shows ever created, Everybody Loves Raymond? I have to, HAVE. TO. reply and say, No they don't. Every time that effeminate wanker announcer joyously bursts out about what a great show it is and that Everybody does, in fact, Love Raymond. I don't and hate the show. I hate every idiot moron actor associated with it and can't believe that people actually voluntarily watch such horrid shit. It gives me hives just thinking about it.
Final Thought for the Morning
Out of 21 new messages in my in-box this morning, no less than 19 were from idiot spammers trying to extend my penis size, sell me the next Internet boom, sell me crappy stock advice and a few that were in Korean and I just didn't feel like downloading a Korean character font set to read about Korean tramps or whatever garbage they were selling.
And I've easily seen enough of the Nigerian or African spams from humble servants of Mr. Dr. Bongo Junglehumper or whatever fake name they invent. And yet I still get at least a dozen of them a day. Oh well, until someone develops a spam assassin or retro spam bomb or something, we'll just have to deal with it. I would definitely support legislation that punished the guilty with the chopping off of both their hands. That would be a reasonable deterrent to the others, wouldn't it?
:: posted by Erik at 9:30 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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The Name Game Redux
Here's the wrapup to my post over the weekend about possible names for the baby if it turns out to be a girl.
Amanda Kate
Stella Jane
Tamara Lynn
Alexandra Mary
Kimberly Sue
Why Stella Jane? I like the way it sounds and P loves the name Stella and one of the truly most cool and special women I know is a Stella. The jury is still out, way out on possible names for a little boy but I'm fairly certain he would have my middle name in his assortment of names as its been a part of my family for at least eight or nine generations now and is especially poignant with my father's death last year.
An Enterprising Thought
Has anyone ever created a prison prep camp to be marketed to executives facing prison terms? Seems to me that a chubby white senior exectuive would be willing to kick down major amounts of cash to get some sense of how to best survive during their lengthy terms. Of course, this would have to rely on them being sent to a real prison and not one of those country club jails with low fences and lax guards and massages and tennis courts.
Here's the wrapup to my post over the weekend about possible names for the baby if it turns out to be a girl.
Stella Jane
Why Stella Jane? I like the way it sounds and P loves the name Stella and one of the truly most cool and special women I know is a Stella. The jury is still out, way out on possible names for a little boy but I'm fairly certain he would have my middle name in his assortment of names as its been a part of my family for at least eight or nine generations now and is especially poignant with my father's death last year.
An Enterprising Thought
Has anyone ever created a prison prep camp to be marketed to executives facing prison terms? Seems to me that a chubby white senior exectuive would be willing to kick down major amounts of cash to get some sense of how to best survive during their lengthy terms. Of course, this would have to rely on them being sent to a real prison and not one of those country club jails with low fences and lax guards and massages and tennis courts.
:: posted by Erik at 9:25 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Way to Go, Taiwan
This is an excerpt from a news story that had been up on Yahoo with a truly grotesque picture of a chef about to butcher a dead dog for food. The story and the picture have since been removed from Yahoo news, most likely because of its incendiary nature and I'm sure they got pummelled by outraged viewers.
"Taiwan's parliament has banned the selling of dog meat in an effort to deter the slaughtering of strays, a lawmaker's aide said."
I will not be posting the picture here as it will likely give me bad dreams tonight in any case. If you absolutely must see it then email me and I'll send a copy to you but its nasty, believe me on that.
Other News: A H2Hummer Hatin' Site
FUH2 | Fuck You And Your H2 too. Its kind of lame in reality but the premise is decent enough. Pictures of people flipping off the asshats who feel they must drive a Hummer. There's ALOT of comments on this thread over at Metafilter if you care to read some of the pathetic responses from the self indulgent wankers who buy and drive these oversized penile extensions.
This is an excerpt from a news story that had been up on Yahoo with a truly grotesque picture of a chef about to butcher a dead dog for food. The story and the picture have since been removed from Yahoo news, most likely because of its incendiary nature and I'm sure they got pummelled by outraged viewers.
"Taiwan's parliament has banned the selling of dog meat in an effort to deter the slaughtering of strays, a lawmaker's aide said."
I will not be posting the picture here as it will likely give me bad dreams tonight in any case. If you absolutely must see it then email me and I'll send a copy to you but its nasty, believe me on that.
Other News: A H2Hummer Hatin' Site
FUH2 | Fuck You And Your H2 too. Its kind of lame in reality but the premise is decent enough. Pictures of people flipping off the asshats who feel they must drive a Hummer. There's ALOT of comments on this thread over at Metafilter if you care to read some of the pathetic responses from the self indulgent wankers who buy and drive these oversized penile extensions.
:: posted by Erik at 3:37 PM | Permalink | Comment |
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Nuts to Tank, The Tale of Two Balls and their Friend, Dick, Meeting Tank, the Gas Tank
Two balls sad journey with their friend, the Dick, that ended with a horrible collision and the worst damn nausea ever imagined. But, as with all good stories, there is a silver lining. A story that was requested during one of the most fun business calls ever today with Ryan in which we somehow got on the topic of accidents and I disclosed this little tale, albeit without all the details and Ryan just really liked to say Nuts to Tank alot, in fact, I think he said it a good half dozen times. So Ryan, this one's for you. Also, note that this isn't a continuation of the chapters below, this blog has just become my free writing repository.
An excerpt to whet the appetite:
Unlike my next motorcycle accident where I'd taken the painful lessons to heart, I did not rise up on my footpegs, did not have time to clear myself from the bike and my body basically went into and then over the Katana. Initial point of impact? Nuts to tank, followed in very high speed motion stop imagery by left knee to handlebar. A short fifteen foot flight later I had flipped over once and landed on my right ass cheek with all of my weight and impact force. At some point in the action I removed an inch long, half inch wide swath of skin from my ankle and received a few other very minor cuts.
This isn't overly long as short stories go but it is a bit more than I normally rattle out but, if you liked the start then go and Read More Here and please leave a comment if you liked it or hated it or didn't believe it or just got bored halfway through.
Two balls sad journey with their friend, the Dick, that ended with a horrible collision and the worst damn nausea ever imagined. But, as with all good stories, there is a silver lining. A story that was requested during one of the most fun business calls ever today with Ryan in which we somehow got on the topic of accidents and I disclosed this little tale, albeit without all the details and Ryan just really liked to say Nuts to Tank alot, in fact, I think he said it a good half dozen times. So Ryan, this one's for you. Also, note that this isn't a continuation of the chapters below, this blog has just become my free writing repository.
An excerpt to whet the appetite:
Unlike my next motorcycle accident where I'd taken the painful lessons to heart, I did not rise up on my footpegs, did not have time to clear myself from the bike and my body basically went into and then over the Katana. Initial point of impact? Nuts to tank, followed in very high speed motion stop imagery by left knee to handlebar. A short fifteen foot flight later I had flipped over once and landed on my right ass cheek with all of my weight and impact force. At some point in the action I removed an inch long, half inch wide swath of skin from my ankle and received a few other very minor cuts.
This isn't overly long as short stories go but it is a bit more than I normally rattle out but, if you liked the start then go and Read More Here and please leave a comment if you liked it or hated it or didn't believe it or just got bored halfway through.
:: posted by Erik at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comment |
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Welcome to Pending, Population: Me and Some Friends
First off, stop reading me here and go read illmatic, Kat's on a tear and writing beautifully right now and deserves some wider recognition even if she did slap my profession around. Hey Kat, you journos wouldn't be anywhere without flacks like me feeding you stories! At least Ryan's gracious enough to pretend he appreciates me!
It occurred to me while I was in the shower this morning (once a month whether I need it or not!) that P and I are currently in a holding pattern as we wait for life to catch up.
The house? Waiting for the final inspection and then escrow and then we get to move in.
The baby? We've obviously got to wait until the little sprogger's good and ready to make his or her entrance into the universe.
Christmas bonus? Gotta wait just a few more days for that and then I've got a whopping five days left before Christmas to get it all done. Sounds like fun? No, it will suck because there will be hordes of freakin' shoppers out this weekend and fighting through them will suck donkey nuts.
My dog? Gotta wait until we've got the house secured before we move forward with that because what happens if the deal falls through and we've already got a dog? Bad things.
My little communications venture? On hold until the New Year when things are clearer although I am continuing to work on my messaging and what it is I expect to be able to offer to clients. I guess its not entirely on hold but it feels like it. The other part of the reason why its on hold is because I have no office space to work from right now but will have plenty of space in the new house.
Others that are in Pending too:
Helen because she's got a dilemma between travel tickets already purchased and a job interview in the wrong country.
Sedalina who's awaiting a "minor" surgery tomorrow that she won't talk about.
Kat is awaiting the start of a clinical drug test trial that she's taking part in (or it may just be a story she's concocting to keep herself going in between freelance assignments).
And there are more, I'm sure. Just waiting for the clock to turn enough to get to that day and time when they can stop waiting and get to living again.
On the positive side, I replaced the huge lava rock with a hole through it in the fish tank and the fish are excited (though its hard to tell with fish, ya know? It had been suffering from a kind of algae called Horse Hair but it didn't look like horse hair at all, it looked like the fastest growing pubic bush ever. But it didn't stand up to high pressure hose washing and what's left has died and turned pink instead of the coarse black it had been. I still feel guilty about confining the fish to an only 20 gallon universe but that'll change when we move to new house as well as I'm certainly not stupid enough to get a 50 gallon tank all set up (and filled with all that heavy, heavy watrer) and then move it into the new place. Maybe I could get the tank just before we move, get it set up there and then move the fish in one quick trip and not have to move the 20 gallon tank with any water in it at all. That'd work.
In Bizarre My-Life-Was-An-Utter-Freakin'-Farcical-LIE News
I just saw Strom Thurmond's daughter on TV. Come on, you remember Strom, the asshole who thinks queers are evil and black people are scary and should be kept in their own areas and not allowed to mingle with whitey?
Hmm, yeah, right. His daughter is a 78 year old mixed breed woman, half white from Senator Thurmond and half, drum roll please, half black from his SIXTEEN year old maid that he had sex with almost 80 years ago.
Okay, so let's just count up the charges here.
This incredibly hypocritical asshat of a man had the audacity to raise his fist (both physically and metaphorically) against the mixing of the black and white races and he'd porked his black maid waaaay back in 1924 or thereabouts? Oh yes, let's not forget that she was sixteen years old at the time so let's toss on a statutory rape charge as well as very likely coercion because, come on now, he was a powerful white man and she was a 16 year old maid. You don't think it was true love, do you?
Everything this fucking liar has said and has stood for is a boldfaced lie and he should be castigated from the public record for the lying scum he really is. No, not because he impregnated a black woman and hid it for 8 decades, not because he used his position of power to coerce a 16 year old girl into sex but because he was so blatantly two faced about it and was a voice for segregation and a racist and an asshole.
[Update: There's a rumor that Strom died last June but I'm pretty sure he's been dead for a few years now and his body was carrying on through the pure power of his hate. What a scumbag!]
First off, stop reading me here and go read illmatic, Kat's on a tear and writing beautifully right now and deserves some wider recognition even if she did slap my profession around. Hey Kat, you journos wouldn't be anywhere without flacks like me feeding you stories! At least Ryan's gracious enough to pretend he appreciates me!
It occurred to me while I was in the shower this morning (once a month whether I need it or not!) that P and I are currently in a holding pattern as we wait for life to catch up.
The house? Waiting for the final inspection and then escrow and then we get to move in.
The baby? We've obviously got to wait until the little sprogger's good and ready to make his or her entrance into the universe.
Christmas bonus? Gotta wait just a few more days for that and then I've got a whopping five days left before Christmas to get it all done. Sounds like fun? No, it will suck because there will be hordes of freakin' shoppers out this weekend and fighting through them will suck donkey nuts.
My dog? Gotta wait until we've got the house secured before we move forward with that because what happens if the deal falls through and we've already got a dog? Bad things.
My little communications venture? On hold until the New Year when things are clearer although I am continuing to work on my messaging and what it is I expect to be able to offer to clients. I guess its not entirely on hold but it feels like it. The other part of the reason why its on hold is because I have no office space to work from right now but will have plenty of space in the new house.
Others that are in Pending too:
Helen because she's got a dilemma between travel tickets already purchased and a job interview in the wrong country.
Sedalina who's awaiting a "minor" surgery tomorrow that she won't talk about.
Kat is awaiting the start of a clinical drug test trial that she's taking part in (or it may just be a story she's concocting to keep herself going in between freelance assignments).
And there are more, I'm sure. Just waiting for the clock to turn enough to get to that day and time when they can stop waiting and get to living again.
On the positive side, I replaced the huge lava rock with a hole through it in the fish tank and the fish are excited (though its hard to tell with fish, ya know? It had been suffering from a kind of algae called Horse Hair but it didn't look like horse hair at all, it looked like the fastest growing pubic bush ever. But it didn't stand up to high pressure hose washing and what's left has died and turned pink instead of the coarse black it had been. I still feel guilty about confining the fish to an only 20 gallon universe but that'll change when we move to new house as well as I'm certainly not stupid enough to get a 50 gallon tank all set up (and filled with all that heavy, heavy watrer) and then move it into the new place. Maybe I could get the tank just before we move, get it set up there and then move the fish in one quick trip and not have to move the 20 gallon tank with any water in it at all. That'd work.
In Bizarre My-Life-Was-An-Utter-Freakin'-Farcical-LIE News
I just saw Strom Thurmond's daughter on TV. Come on, you remember Strom, the asshole who thinks queers are evil and black people are scary and should be kept in their own areas and not allowed to mingle with whitey?
Hmm, yeah, right. His daughter is a 78 year old mixed breed woman, half white from Senator Thurmond and half, drum roll please, half black from his SIXTEEN year old maid that he had sex with almost 80 years ago.
Okay, so let's just count up the charges here.
This incredibly hypocritical asshat of a man had the audacity to raise his fist (both physically and metaphorically) against the mixing of the black and white races and he'd porked his black maid waaaay back in 1924 or thereabouts? Oh yes, let's not forget that she was sixteen years old at the time so let's toss on a statutory rape charge as well as very likely coercion because, come on now, he was a powerful white man and she was a 16 year old maid. You don't think it was true love, do you?
Everything this fucking liar has said and has stood for is a boldfaced lie and he should be castigated from the public record for the lying scum he really is. No, not because he impregnated a black woman and hid it for 8 decades, not because he used his position of power to coerce a 16 year old girl into sex but because he was so blatantly two faced about it and was a voice for segregation and a racist and an asshole.
[Update: There's a rumor that Strom died last June but I'm pretty sure he's been dead for a few years now and his body was carrying on through the pure power of his hate. What a scumbag!]
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Gross News Update
In what is becoming more and more of a problem, Highway Cleanup Crews Pick up 2,666 Jugs of Piss in Washignton alone. The ironic and sad part? "All of the cleanup crews encounter it. It's pretty much the same around the state," Megan Warfield, litter program coordinator for the state Department of Ecology said. "Ironically, they're mostly found on interchanges near rest areas. Why can't they stop there?"
And let's not forget the 67 bags of human dookie bombs they picked up too.
In what is becoming more and more of a problem, Highway Cleanup Crews Pick up 2,666 Jugs of Piss in Washignton alone. The ironic and sad part? "All of the cleanup crews encounter it. It's pretty much the same around the state," Megan Warfield, litter program coordinator for the state Department of Ecology said. "Ironically, they're mostly found on interchanges near rest areas. Why can't they stop there?"
And let's not forget the 67 bags of human dookie bombs they picked up too.