Intellectual Poison

More Morford Wisdom to Spread
Today's Morning Fix is full of exposing the lies of our current government and its called The Incredible Lying BushCo

Here's a very pertinent excerpt though I highly recommend reading the whole thing to get a real sense of the ridiculousness of the GOP.

Yes, Bill Clinton lied, too. He lied about stupid adulterous sex. And the GOP savaged him like rabid feral swine attacking a rutabaga. Had him impeached over it. Loathe him still, and his wife, too, with unprecedented level of hatred and bile and vicious litigious action never before seen in this nation.

No such fate for BushCo. Shockingly, the GOP isn't the slightest bit upset about this pro-corporate, oil-drunk administration's deadly string of lies. Shall we wonder why? Or is it just too poisonous and sad to consider for very long, lest the intellect curdle and the soul recoil?

OK, I'll spell it out: George W. Bush and his entire senior administration lied, and continue to lie, flagrantly, openly, knowingly, with full intent, about the need to drive this nation into a brutal and unwinnable and fiscally debilitating war, one that protects no one and inhibits no terrorism and defends nothing but BushCo's own petrochemical cronies and political stratagems.

Happy Halloween and A Wee Bite of the Cheddar X

Thanks to P for sending the pic on!

And now for some .

1. What's the worst candy you've ever gotten on Halloween?
Whatever those nasty chalky, chocolate-esque things were when I was a little kid. They had virtually no flavor, gave you instant cotton mouth and tainted the taste of other candy.

And the people who give away five pennies taped together? Don't they know they're just begging for some tricks?
[Update: I was just reminded of Wax Lips by today's Excite Poll (by the way candy bars/chocolate has a HUGE lead at 47% of the total vote so let that guide your candy purchasing) and yep, they are nasty.]

2. What is your best comfort food?
Lately I've been on a fluffernutter kick but with two extra twists. Fluffernutter, for anyone who hasn't had the magnificent pleasure, is a peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich. My two extras are to sprinkle some Giardelli's powdered chocolate between the two layers and to use honey graham crackers to contain it. Super tasty!

3. When was the last time you tried a new vegetable or fruit and what was it?
We picked up some pineapple guavas down in San Luis Obispo a couple of weeks ago that were really pretty good though P liked them quite a bit more than I did.

4. Is there a dish your mom or dad made for you growing up that you hated and can't even stand to think of now?
Oh yeah, this one's easy. Split pea soup or as I called it, split pea poop. My mother used to make it thick and heavy and nasty and I couldn't stand it. To this day I can't think about it without wanting to retch.

5. What's your favorite snacking food?
Depends, if we've just done a Trader Joe's run then it'll likely be whole wheat pitas (or spicy black bean chips) and spicy hummus. If not then I'm a chips and salsa fiend and I've got a serious jones for Safeway's deli select salsas.

One Halloween question, what are you dressing up as for Halloween?
I will be dressed up as James Bond this year. I still need a couple of quick props to complete the outfit but it'll be pretty easy and fun. A plastic Walther PPK and a perpetually filled martini glass should do the trick.

Yeeha! Now its off to the candy and goblins! Best part about tonight? I'll have Modoc, Paul and Kim's weimerauner at the house and he'll be dressed up as Superman. Yes, I will snap some pics of him because he looks truly adorable in it.

Now go and get your own or, if you prefer a more stately

Memo to Santa Cruz Businesses
Subject: How to Lose My Business
Some people have long held that there's a shortage of decent service in Santa Cruz and I prefer to think about it the other way. There's an overabundance of shitty service from snotty assholes who don't have the time to deal with interuptions to their 8 hour gossip time with their friends.

So I am going to detail the easiest way for a business in my town to lose me as a potential customer.

1. Act like my desire to purchase something from your place of business is putting you out. Pretend like my money isn't required to keep your doors open.
2. Ignore me.
3. Take forever to take an order, take forever to deliver it and take forever to fix when I have the audacity to tell you that its wrong.
4. Demean me.
5. Show favoritism for your pals when they come in by passing up people who've been waiting to jump right to them.
6. Exagerrate your actions, drag your feet, make a show of how hard it is to deal with everything.
7. Tack on an auto gratuity and then "forget" to mention it to the table to attempt to elicit a double tip.
8. Don't restock anything, ever.
9. Sit me at a table covered in stickiness or other debris from the previous occupant, don't bother to clean it up or, better yet, wipe it up with a towel easily as nasty as the table was.
10. Give me the wrong change in the hopes that I won't notice and you can pocket the difference.
11. Smell bad, either from cigarettes or from not bathing.
12. Allow homeless people to beg at your windows and pester me.
13. Talk at me instead of to me. Not sure if that makes sense but if its happened to you then you know what I'm talking about.

I'm sure there are plenty more ways to create a new anti-customer but they are escaping me right now.
There are plenty of places in town that I will just refuse to do business with for some of the reasons above but mostly because of shitty service by people with huge attitudes. I couldn't even list all of the companies that are off limits for various reasons.

I know that, if I ever own my own business, I will make sure that anyone working for me understands that customers are the reason the business exists. Forgetting that will find them out of work very, very quickly. Its too easy to lose people permanently and they will talk to their friends and soon you'll be blacklisted from an entire segment of the town.

The Fitness Made Simple Farce
or, Fitness for Simpletons

I'm sure anyone who's turned on their tv in the last six months has seen the ads for Fitness Made Simple featuring a skinny little muscley guy named John Basedow. The commercials have now gone under the category of Where's-the-frigging-remote-because-if-I-have-to-listen-to-his-lies-anymore-I'll-explode, something like the Carrotop commercials and the ones for Round Table Pizza (though they are occasionally fresh and mildly humorous).

There are so many things that are wrong with John Basedow and his stupid tapes that I can only scratch the surface.
A few of the lower hanging fruit that'll be easy to discredit.

His claim that the exercises work two ways, by burning fat just by doing the exercise is both misleading and stupid. You're not burning fat when you exercise, you're burning available energy stores, when those stores are depleted THEN your body may turn to fat to burn for energy. Basically anytime you aren't eating and you're alive, you're using energy and thus can be burning fat for energy if you're other energy stores are already empty. The other way is by raising your metabolism and this is actually true.

His claim of being a fitness "celebrity" is utterly stupid, if he hadn't been put on tv in these ads then no one would know about him or give a damn. Can you claim celebrity status because you pay alot of money to be on tv enough to sink into the collective conscious? Nah, I don't think so.

His testimonials are stupid too with one guy saying he just "simply can't put a price on the results he's gotten". Um, hey shit for brains, how about $29.95, the price of the tapes? How's that for a price on the results?

John Basedow is almost certainly a very small guy in real life, I'd guess he's no more than 5'6" or 7". And, as anyone with any background in fitness knows, its far, far easier for a smaller body to get ripped. The shots of him from the side showing off his six pack are all meant to mislead viewers into thinking it'll be easy to achieve those results. Its not, its damned near impossible for many people to EVER get to the six pack stage because body types differ. Some people are barrel chested, some are lower body powerhouses, whatever. He's misleading and effectively cheating people out of their money.

And he's got a really lame haircut too.
Anyway, just a little rant for now. I'm still very steamed by the whole father raping his infant daughter story. I posted it over on Metafilter and its gotten a tremendous number of comments. Check it out here.

In Local Nudism News
Feel like baring it all in the company of redwoods and strangers? There's a full on nudist resort in the Santa Cruz mountains that'll cater to your desires. I came across them while searching for a decent dojo in town, I need to start training again as its been a very long time and I think the combination of martial art and exercise will do both my body and mind alot of good. And yes, I would welcome some input on styles, why one is better than the other and things like that.

If nudism is your thing then go on and click through to Lupin. It is, apparently a very cool place with a good clientele that respects each other.

And yeah, I've gotta say, the idea of going hiking in the redwoods buck naked really does sound like fun.

Clowns Get Just A Little Creepier Than They Already Were
Clowning for Christ, 'nuff said.

In Hell (If There is a Hell) Readies Another Room News
This came by way of Jay and is among the most disgusting news I've read in a long while.

Man Pleads Guilty to Raping Baby Daughter, yeah, its not a hoax, its not a joke in any way. This utter garbage raped his infant daughter. She was 2 months old when this filthy fuck molested her. How he justified it in his twisted mind is beyond me and I really don't give a damn, he's an animal who should be put down permanently for the damage he just visited upon his own child.

Think he'll last a week in prison? Probably not.
The sick thing is that he's seeking leniency because his dad is the head of Washington's Corrections System. He could spend as little as six months in prison for this most unbeleivably heinous crime.

His name is Joseph Lehman Jr. and he had better not come into my town or anywhere near me because I might just give up my right to freedom to end his sick and profane life.

In If-Only-Our-President-Heeded-His-Daddy News
There's a memo that Bush Sr. took part in the creation of back in 1991 about the dangers of removing Saddam from Iraq. The page at Snopes is: GW Bush on Saddam, circa 1991.
And the pertinent excerpt from the memo:

In his memoirs, A World Transformed, written more than five years ago, George Bush, Sr. wrote the following to explain why he didn't go after Saddam Hussein at the end of the Gulf War:

"Trying to eliminate Saddam .. would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. Apprehending him was probably impossible ... We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq ...there was no viable "exit strategy" we could see, violating another of our principles. Furthermore, we had been self-consciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-Cold War world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the United Nations' mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression that we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land."


Which means that ol' Shrubbie went where his own dad knew far better than to tread. And now the US is entrenched in an occupation of a foreign nation that has no end in sight, just a continuing stream of body bags sending home American GI's.

Nice work, ShrubCo!

In Tangental News
A US company has created a new kind of gun called the Cornershot Gun that is actually hinged in the middle with a pistol up front and a camera. The gun barrel can be aimed from around a corner where the soldier is safe from return fire.

The Israeli Army is currently interested in it.

And yes, there is a picture of it in the link.

In Massive Pixel Destruction News
I've got a new game I must have. I saw the ads for it last night and it is an absolute no question, I'm gonna go and buy this game as soon as I can find it for sale. Its called Roadkill and it looks like just great fun. The ads call it a cross between Twisted Metal (a great action game with terrible graphics) and Grand Theft Auto (which ranks as one of my all time favorite games). Bring it on!

Site Update News
I'm just little Mr. Filled with News today, aren't I? Anyway, this is just a little memo about a minor change. I've moved most of the links off onto the Links Page and have also just moved the Blog Roll and Blog Linker as it appears that one or the other was responsible for making the page load hang forever and ever. Sorry about that!

The fact that using chopsticks causes a higher incidence of arthritis in hands shouldn't really be surprising. Its one of those things that seems self evident but just hasn't been said yet.

The End of The Joe Schmo Show
This may seem strange, this may seem out of character but I'm going to write about watching the end of The Joe Schmo Show on Spike. For those who aren't familiar with it, its a reality show within a reality show. The twist, and there's always a twist, is that there's only one person who isn't in on it. There is one guy, only one out of the everybody who doesn't know that its all a fake.

Everyone else involved with the show is in on the joke.

And you could see how, at the end of the show when he just found out that it was all a huge and elaborate hoax. The instant when he learns about the true reality around him and realizes that he doesn't know the people, that they just tricked him mightily.

And really the best thing about watching it was realizing what an honestly nice and sincere and genuine guy the Schmo is. His real name is Matt Kennedy Gould, something the emcee says alot, always Matt Kennedy Gould. Watching him finally find out is a fascinating philosophical process, initial discovery followed by realization upon realization and the further push of actually winning a hundred thousand bucks and some other nifty cool stuff.

The follow up show about the making has been pretty interesting as well. The lengths that they all went to in order to carry out the charade, the morphing of the script in response to his own interactions. They had a general storyline to run but it could get a little outside the lines from time to time. And there's more and more, the heavy psychology of toying with his emotions and messing with who he was. The show should be run for college students and dissected.

Its really just an amazingly bizarre show. Watching and hearing him talk about the show now that its over is kind of freaky. I'd be interested to see how much time went by from the end of the show and the beginning of the aftermath part. A day or two filled with lots of explanations and meeting all of the these new strangers again.

Another pretty crazy aspect of the show is watching how the crew reacted, how they went from running the show to really being on Matt's team, experiencing his ups and downs with him. Sure, it smacks of The Truman Show but its a whole different exploration of it.

And the nicest part is that he really is just an incredibly nice and endearing guy. Shame he's such a big lover of basketball but so what, everyone's got their faults. And sure, there's that burning core of cynicism deep within me that pumps out thoughts like, "This guy's an actor too, he's just playing his part a bit longer. Its not even really fake real or fake reality or whatever." But I think I'm going to believe it anyway because I think I like to believe it. I like thinking that this guy really is as nice, as good as his character appears to be. That his true reaction to some of the situations they put him in was really who he was.

All I can say is watch it. It'll blow your mind.

I'll try to get back to the vitriol, the wild ranting and spam invectives now.

But How Can their Stock Still Go Up?
Purveyors of poison (the really dumb kind that comes in nasty little cancer stick form) RJ Reynolds Posts $3.45 BILLION loss and yet their stock surged by 11 percent today on the news that they are combining with another tobacco company to make an even huger spewer of poison and killer of people.

The irony is not lost on me that people are buying into a company that kills its customers off with truly frightening regularity.

Can someone explain to me why anyone would willingly buy stock in this company? Or any company that really does nothing but kill people and contribute to the general misery in the world?

Its like buying stock in a company that produces baby torture devices. Its so morally bankrupt that I just can't even access the thought process that leads one to buy their stock. They kill people, everyday. Their products destroy lives, keep people poor and have demonstrated an appalling lack of concern for the fact that they produce nothing but pain, suffering and a satisfying smoke.

I can't wait until some alien civilization comes to exhume our culture and finds the record of the continued sale of these utterly destructive little cancer sticks (maybe I'll start calling them shafts in the spirit of shoving it up Big Tobacco's collective ass).

Anyone out there with RJR in their stock portfolio should be ashamed of themselves for pursuing profit at the expense of livelihood. Thanks for helping these bastards make billions of dollars. Want to buy back some of your soul? Sell off the tobacco stock, all of it, and convince all your friends to do the same. If no one buys their stock then the company stumbles, falters and fails.

The sole silver lining here is that huge loss they've had this quarter. A few more like it and tobacco will disappear from the landscape like the plague it is.

Finally, A Few Pics from the Honeymoon
Yeah, yeah, the wedding pics are taking a bit longer to get online than I'd hoped, its soooo much easier to get digital pics online. But I'll get to a scanner soon and we'll get the online album put together before too long.
[Update: I've moved the pics to the IntePoi Pics Page to speed up the page loading here. A warning, there are several megs of pictures on the link page, if you're on a dial up you're going to hate me soon.]

A little explanation is in order. The first three pics are from an amazingly cool little pull out on Highway just south of Gorda. A short ten minute hike up into the trees and we arrived at this gorgeous little waterfall spot. I shot some video of it but I'm having some issues getting the vids to play properly, something to do with the encoding or some such crap. But I'll get those up as well as the fire dancing and Mark doing a back flip in the sand. I do wish I'd been able to lighten up the last pic of the two of us and maybe I'll repost it lightened when I get some free time to get to it.
Me at Gorda Waterfall, P at Gorda Waterfall, Newlyweds at Waterfall
The next couple of pics are wedding day stuff, the first is P with Rhetta, who just has the most angelic expression and looks simply beautiful. The second pic is out on the wharf later on that evening, two pals hamming it up for the camera. And then Paul getting moonie eyes from Kim, I just liked the composition of looking through his arm to see her.
Rhetta's best smile, CT and Johnny, Kimmie lovin' Paul

These next two pics were taken within a minute of each other, just a 180 degree spin and I got the moonrise after the sunset. Pretty cool and it was far cooler live!
Sunset 10.7Moonrise 10.7

And another posting of the wedding pic. There is another one that I'm waiting to get scanned in but for now this is our semi-official wedding pic.
Our Wedding Pic

Who Are They Marketing To?
I love spam, I hate it but sometimes I've just gotta love it because it just seems to make utterly no sense at all.

A few examples that leap to mind, the people selling spam defeating software, the mass mailed "Your Hotel Site Isn't Being Seen" spams (really, come on now, how many people own a hotel?), the fuller plumper lips spams and, my personal favorite, the buy-this-stock spam.

They all fail for some pretty easily identified reasons but the Buy-this-stock spam is just sort of endearing in a retarded brother sort of way. I mean really, who would ever go and buy stock in a company because they got spam (with the ubiquitous jumble of letters at the end) that said to? Maybe it would be kind of fun to set up a stock tracker for these companies just to see whether it is possible to get rich from following the unsolicited advice from unshaven, unwashed idiots sitting in dark living rooms in their underwear.

I can't even say nice try because this is not a good try, its not even a try at all. Its just wasting time, bandwidth and money.

And anyone who ever buys anything from a spam or pop-up should not be allowed to use the computer or the internet anymore. The only way to stop the spam is to stop it from being a money making endeavor.

Oh yeah, gotta give props to the spam pharmacies! Selling herbal viagra and anything else you want to hear. Anyone that would buy something they're going to put in their body from a spammer deserves the diseases they get.

[Update: Jay's comment lead me to this article and a new technique for spammers to invade comments on weblogs, why? I have no idea what kind of sales they think they can possibly make but damn, I will be seriously bummed if asshole spammers try to take over my comments. Something must be done about idiots and their spam.]

Starting the Week off Right
One of our favorite new cooking implements is a sweet Calphalon round griddle pan. Its big and smooth and works perfectly for cooking eggs, pancakes or other good stuff like that.

This morning I combined the griddle with my egg ring, some bacon I'd made yesterday morning, some cheese, salsa and an english muffin to make my own breakfast sandwich that put that crap at McD's to shame. Sure, it was messy as hell but so what, good food often is messy.

The other thing that made today such a good start was the fact that we got to get rid of almost all our trash last night. Our neighbor, who attains Saint status for this one!, let us know that there was a free trash bin on one of the patios of the apartment that had been vacated by my favorite sheriff's department spokesman. So I stuffed a few more bags in there, our neighbor took a couple and, all of a sudden, there's no backup, no pile of trash leftover from wedding festivities. Its awesome and we've even got a back patio now as well.

And tonight? Tonight we BURN! It is Dryer Fire Monday, I do believe. If not then it'll be Dryer Fire Tuesday or Dryer Fire Wednesday. Either way we shall be setting fire to a big pile of debris that needs to burn. Another box of wood to help it all burn out and we'll be in good shape.

I may even snap a picture or two of the backyard once we're all back to normal.

P gets huge props for being nearly tireless in her efforts to clean this weekend. She tackled the kitchen and patio with vigor, literally tearing the kitchen bits and the putting it all back together nice and neat. Oh yeah, and something like ten or twelve loads of laundry (love that seventy five cents a load trick as opposed to a buck twenty five!). We're finally getting back to the point where we can think about having people over again.

And I may be ordering my kayak this week!

Late Cheddar is Beddar than None at All
Yeah, ouch, that was awful. Hopefully this week's will be better than that.

1. What's the most extreme thing you've done to either generate sympathy or get out of a debt?
Well I would certainly never take a knife to my tackle, that's far too extreme for me and heck, the guy did it for a three hundred dollar debt. I knew this was going to be a really tough one when I asked it. I think I'm going to invoke the blogger's privelege and change the question to one I can answer. The most extreme thing I've seen someone else do for sympathy (or at least the first one that comes to mind) was a few years ago when I was taking care of a pal's dog. He got a snoot full of something that made him sneeze for like five minutes. I felt bad for him so I put out a little food for him and pet him. The next time I went outside, he saw me and started to pretend to sneeze again so he could try and score some more food and attention. Smart dog.

2. If someone paid for your education, what do you think you owe them in return?
Depends on who it was. If it was the government, as in ROTC then you owe them some length of service to compensate them for it. If its your parents then you owe it to them to make good use of the degree. Other than that, if someone gives you the education, as in scholarship then you owe it to them to work your ass and do your absolute best to fulfill their expectations.

3. What's your fitness regimen?
Mine varies but the typical workout week for me includes three or four morning Bowflex workouts, I try to ride my bike to work at least three of five days a week and make a point of going the longer way to work (past the beach and along the river into town). I will occasionally get out on my lunch hour and ride the length of the levee or home and back. On a good day, I'll put in somewhere between 10 and 16 miles on my cruiser. Other stuff is as it comes, like beach volleyball yesterday, boogie boarding, off road riding (planned for after work this week) and soon, surfing and kayaking.

4. What is your most annoying habit that you know drives others nuts but are powerless to stop?
I have no annoying habits, everything I do is magical and wonderful and beautiful. Hmm, maybe not. Let's see, I talk too loud when I'm drunk. Have the really aggravating habit of interrupting people (I am working on it though).

5. What was your favorite vehicle (car, motorcycle, bike, skateboard, whatever)?
Hmmm, I think I'm going to have to break this down into one per category. For cars, I'd have to say my first VW Scirocco, an '81 S that was far cooler than I was at the time. Motorcycles, my Katana 550 I had when I lived in CapeTown, it was mickey moused together but it ran like a frigging top on that leaded African gas (oh, sorry Petrol). Bike, I'm highly partial to my current Phat cruiser because I spend more time on it than any other bike but I would have to stick with my Mojo if I had to take just one bike. Its the combination of speed, strength and the ability to shred most hills that makes it the winner. Skateboard? Only have one, an old Billy Ruff deck I bought from a kid waaaay back in high school, now it only gets used to move furniture.

Whew, that was joyous!

Now back to work.

Scariest Moment Redux
Thanks to everyone for their concern and input. I spoke with my brother-in-law yesterday afternoon and he diagnosed it as a classic case of a vasovagal reaction. It is, essentially, a momentary shutdown of the body due to some unnecessary visual stimulation.

If anyone remembers the opening credits to the show, Quincy MD there's a med student who drops when Quincy unveils a dead guy, THAT's a vasovagal reaction.

It slows the heart down and also dilates blood vessels in your legs and that's what can cause the fainting or swoon or seizure because all the blood in the body is being directed to your legs instead of your head. Which explains the world closing up on me and the launching backwards with my legs.

It isn't the only possible outcome of the episode and I will be going to see my doctor this week to make sure there's nothing wrong with the functioning of my heart. So, until I've met with him, I think I'll be okay.

Thanks Dave! And thanks to you all for your concern.

Now that the serious stuff is out of the way, maybe I can get to this week's Cheddar X.

Some Links to Share
Jay sent over the link to the IO2 Technology Revolutionary Interactive Heliospace Free-Space Display which is really pretty damned cool. Think the holographic display of the Death Star in Star Wars but its not a hologram.

This second link is to the a truly bitching picture of the sun storm's that we had on Friday and is well worth a moment's peek, Sun's Bursts.

And the last is probably well known to most people as it was to me, I just don't know why I've never linked up to the Drudge Report, its a fine source of news.

SoYouWanna get a job in a consulting firm?

GM Names Car with Slang for Jacking Off in Quebec, by teenaged boys who can pretty much consider anything to be slang for masturbating. But hey, whatever, a car called the Lacrosse is just a stupid name in any case.

A link on Metafilter gave me the idea to search for the same kind of agency in my home town and I found the Affordable Housing-City of Santa Cruz Redevelopment Agency, basically, its super cheap houses for sale but they need loads and loads of work. Buy them for cheap, fix them up, live in them for five years and they're yours. I've just started exploring this but hey, if I can get a house in Santa Cruz for under a $100K then I am all over it!
This link just goes nicely with the other one, Find a Home - Property Listing. Same for this one, usdhome.html

Tired of pop ups and spyware shit on your computer? I sure as hell was with P's PC so I read this article, Ad-aware - Download.com - Free downloads, shareware, and more and am starting to fight back against the invasive cock suckers who think forcing their products on me is going to get them sales. If only they knew that it achieves the exact opposite and, while I note the products, I will never, ever buy any of them again. Nice advertising campaign, turn off your potential customers permanently! And another article, "Spyware" piggybacks on Napster rivals | CNET News.com.

Want to scare yourself? Then go and hit up the Drinkometer- How much Alcohol have you consumed?

A really cool concept and I'm not sure how it will bear out in reality, The Great Library of Amazonia. Basically, Amazon wants to have all the text from all its books searchable and viewable online. Think about that for just a moment, they're talking about a really quite tremendously monstrous library all of a sudden becoming virtually accessible. Pretty cool and amazing, I just don't know if it'll result in lawsuits, more sales or just easier research.

The Scariest Moment of My Life
I had what is probably the most truly frightening and uncontrollable moment of my life last night. P and I were spending time upstairs, watching Extreme Makeover on the idiot box, I was checking hockey scores and I started to feel a little nauseous just after they showed the plastic surgery in action. I didn't think it was connected but didn't have time to really react.

All I know is that I turned back from the TV to the computer screen just as everything went dark, like an iris closing up the darkness began on the outside of my vision and closed down to a point and, for a moment, I was completely without sight and without any control over my body. I convulsed backwards in my chair, banging into the closet door and slamming my arm on the side desk and my foot on one of the braces.

The next thing I knew, though only a moment had passed it seemed like a minute or two has passed, P was next to me, worried and holding my arm, asking me what had happened. A curious question because I really had no explanation for it. Another strange thing that has stuck with me is that, though I knew P was lying in bed when it happened, I had this sense that she had been sitting next to me at the desk. It was very strong and, though I know in reality she had been on the bed the whole time until she ran over to me, I could swear she was sitting right next to me the whole time.

She helped me get up and I felt a bit dizzy so I lay down on the floor, felt the heat of the moment wash over me and it took a good twenty minutes before I felt decent enough to sit up, drink some water and really take stock of my body. The only lingering effects were some very shaky hands, a concerned wife and a very concerned me.

Nothing like that has ever happened to me before and it was really terrifying. While it was happening I could sort of sense, deep in my mind, under layers of fog and darkness, that this was peculiar in the extreme and that I needed to regain control over my body.

I can't put it down to low blood sugar because I'd eaten a decent dinner. I can't put it down to oxygen deprivation because I make a point of breathing on a regular basis. I can't put it down to anything and that's the scary part. No immediately observable cause. So now my new mandate is to schedule a physical, let them know what happened, see if they can figure it out and take it from there.

My fears are that this is the first of many seizures, that they'll strike at any time and that I'll not be able to live a normal life anymore. I feel fine today, worked out this morning, rode my bike to work and will try to live as normally as I can but there will always be that seed of doubt about my body and mind parting company again. What if it happens while I'm on my motorcycle? Or if I'm driving along Highway 1 with the huge cliff drop offs to one side? Or swimming?

Or what if the seizure was like a warmup and the real ones are on their way?

The immediate fallout is that I've now got a damned strong reason to get myself back into great shape. A healthy body is less likely to backfire or whatever I should call it. So I'm going biking this weekend, maybe kayaking too, maybe even surfing if I can get the time for it. The other bit of fallout is that I don't think I'll be taking things for granted as much anymore. It truly is possible that I could have a stroke at any time and lose control over my body forever. I could have a heart attack and die, just like that. There are no guarantees in life and I plan on doing my damnedest to make the most of the time I do have. Love with passion, live with passion and try to not ever take what life's given me for granted. Our eyeblink existence can end in an instant and there is no reset button.

Character Traits to Aspire To
These were sent to me by my step-mom the day after the anniversary of my father's death this past weekend. They are traits of my father's that she wanted to share with the family and I would like to share them with my readers.

They are not only indications of the kind of man that my father was but they are also excellent character traits to aspire to and I will be making an effort to live up to his legacy.

� If you don't like something (situation/policy/etc), don't complain; do something positive to change it.
� Compartmentalize if needed to get through a tough time.
� Always remembered to ask the basic question, "What is it we are trying to accomplish?"
� Respect and try to understand different perspectives.
� Find a way for everyone to save face.
� Gather as much information as possible before making a decision, and base decisions on facts or the best information available.
� Laugh and encourage others to laugh with you. It's okay-even desirable-to play and be a little silly as an adult.
� Gain the respect of people you admire.
� Make a contribution to the world/community/neighborhood using the skills you have.

In Other News
I'm going to try and avoid all blogs for the rest of today. Actually, I want to try and avoid all extra curricular computer usage for the day, because I need to to stay focused on work but also because I've not tried it in a long time and I think its important to break the cycle from time to time.

See you all on Friday.

Just How Far Out of Touch is the NRA?
So far that just posting this post will likely land me on their list of NRA enemies. Check out the NRA Hate List to see who's had the sheer audacity to speak out in favor of gun control and the assault weapon ban.

Now, I'm someone who likes shooting my guns. I like target practice, I like speed drills and I used to shoot skeet when I was back in New England. Not often but often enough to be decent at it.

But I would never join a group like the NRA because they polarize people. You are either a gun nut or a gun control freak, there is no middle ground and I think that's both short sighted and rather stupid. That and having Charleton Heston as your spokesperson is just kind of sad, he's an old man who's pretty lost touch with reality, go and see Bowling for Columbine to get a better idea of what I'm talking about.

The NRA also has Wayne LaPierre as their president, or did (note, I've since learned that the guy in charge is now Kayne Robinson). I've seen this guy speak a couple of times and he's really doing the gun lobby no favors by opening his mouth in public. He's not smart enough or quick witted enough to lead the gun lobby to the promised land of no limit hunting, totally legal concealed carry and the right to put a 58 shot magazine in your handgun (for sporting purposes, of course, and not so you can wipe out an entire neighborhood before having to reload, heavens no!).

Do I think their goals are worthwhile? Yes, to a point. The rabid adherence to the Second Amendment and the unwillingness to accept that we lead the universe in gun deaths is just head-in-the-sand stupidity. The NRA needs new leadership to bring it into the 21st century, leadership that will come back from the foamy faced nutters who've gone ahead with gun rallies just after extreme gun violence in Columbine and other places. It just shows how ruthlessly insensitive and out of touch the whole organization truly is.

Thanks to Mark Morford and his Fabulous Morning Fix for the hook up.

A Few More Feet Down the Road to Restoring My Faith in Humanity
Today's Excite Instant Poll is about healthcare and the results were really pretty heartening to me.
Regarding healthcare, which do you think is more important:
Holding taxes down, even if it means some people going without health coverage 34% => 2834 votes
Providing health coverage for all, even if it means raising taxes 55% => 4556 votes
I�m not sure 9% => 755 votes
I don�t care 0% => 64 votes Current number of voters: 8209

People are willing to pay more in taxes to provide health insurance for all and that's a good thing. Sure, in the end, having health insurance for everyone is probably less expensive and less stressful but I don't think people were thinking that far into the future. They just realize that, to provide a safer America, people will have to help shoulder the burden of caring for others.

And that, my friends, is a good thing. Empathy for others has been on the decline in America for the last ten years or so, maybe we're starting to turn the corner to where other people's interests are important as well as our own.

Approaching a Watershed
I don't know, maybe its not cool to be a numbers driven blogger these days. Or maybe its I don't care that I still am.

Anyway, today should see Intellectual Poison breaking through the 50,000 visitor mark and I think that's pretty damned amazing.

Some good news last night, we got our wedding book and pictures back from our photographer and they are really and truly just awesome! It will take some work to get all of them online and posted but I may just cheat a little on that front to save time.

But both P and I were incredibly pleased with the results. And we got to play highway racers coming back from Watsonville last night in the fog.

Next up? We'll be dog sitting next weekend and will have SuperDog for Halloween (and yes, that means a dog dressed up in a Superman costume and I will take pics!).

Cool New Tech
It seems that a new technology may make for even smaller, even longer lasting batteries and other power sources. Water sparks new power source that generates power from pumping liquid through micro-channels. I don't understand how it all works but there's a good diagram explaining it. What it means is that we'll have better batteries for all our toys sometime in the future.

Vacuous MTV "Reality Show" Stupidities
Has anyone with more than fifty brain cells still kicking been able to sit through an entire episode of Nick and Jessica's show, Newlyweds, on MTV? Were they strapped down with their eyes forced open? Is there any worse pap crap on the box these days than these two idiots? Jessica Simpson comes off as being a skinny Anna Nicole, basically white trash without the first clue about the world.
Here's the latest news from the bad, bad, bad show.
You may be wondering why Jessica Simpson Visits Chicken of the Sea? Well, its because she was confused by the name. Chickens, you see, don't live in the sea and so she didn't know whether she was eating tuna or chicken (apparently the taste and texture wasn't enough help). So she went to Chicken of the Sea and they, patiently, explained the origin of the name and the fact that, yes, its tuna fish. Not chicken.
Stay tuned for more moronic epiphanies from one of the worst concepts in reality tv yet (and there have been some damned spectacularly awful shows).

And Finally, a Harley for the Doggy Style Lovin' Masses
This comes by way of EB and is the New Harley for Men or women than want to be like men. Take a moment to examine the picture and note the tank with the double bubble butt and legs stretching back into the frame. Kind of a cool idea but I think I'll stick with my little rice rocket for now.

Restaurant Review: Malabar in Santa Cruz
If memory serves then we went to one of Intellectual Properties' favorite dinner spots when she's in town.

Malabar is an unassuming place in Santa Cruz though they are almost always pumping the air outside full of spice and intrique so that I always wonder when I ride my bike past it on the way home from work. They're at 1116 Soquel Ave., phone is (831) 423-7906 and they don't have a website yet. There is usually a decent line to get in but as we're in the off season now, there was no wait and plenty of space for a nice dinner.

The decor is perpendicular to the cuisine if that makes any sense. The style of the place is sort of muted with lots of small tables placed close together under a vaulted ceiling and near a large hearth/fireplace area. Its not unappealling but it really doesn't reflect the style of the food all that well. And that was fine because we'd already planned on getting take out.

Read More
Or check out the review I just posted to Daily Diner: Malabar.

How Not to Start Your Day
The first thing to not do is to think its Wednesday and not Tuesday. I've been having trouble keeping within today because I keep wanting to think its later in the week. No real reason except that I just keep feeling like its tomorrow already and then I get caught in a never ending loop. If today is tomorrow then tomorrow must be the day after and therefore I can't ever be here today because today is yesterday.
Its damned hard to keep in the here and now right now.

Anyway, as with Ryan's adventures with canine dookie bombs, my morning was punctuated by stink as well. I had the good fortune to get caught behind a recycling truck. And it was filling the air with that sweet and sickly stink of rotting foodstuffs, putrid liquid and just plain stinkity stuff. From each corner of the back it was leaking a rather noxious and splash happy mixture of ick that was a most unseemly color of grey. I gave the truck a very wide margin in front of me to try and avoid being splashed by the nasty trash soup. And, hold on, smell check says I'm clean.

New Word News
Came up with this while commenting on another blog last night.
Shopper's Amnesia - that most irritating issue of running into a store to get something only to find out that you can't remember what it was you wanted. There are variations like the Musical Amnesia for CD shopping, Movie Amnesia when trying to get a rental movie and a bunch more, I'm sure.

No, its not all that new a concept or words but I'm adding it here because it drives me nuts and that's plenty enough of a reason for me.

But wait, there's much more to come later on today!

Turning the Tables, Kobe Forced to do Something
Judge: Kobe Bryant Must Stand Trial for Rape and that should be damned interesting.

I don't think I've ever seen him speak unless it was in relation to a basketball game.

There's No KY in Justice
In a scene more reminiscent of bad porn than Law & Order, a French judge "discretely" lifted his judicial robe and opened his trousers to expose his penis so he could masturbate while a female lawyer pleaded her case.
Judge Jack Mehoff (identity hidden because I don't know it yet) masturbated for several minutes while she made her case.

I would wager that he wasn't quite discrete enough if he got caught. Now he's undergoing psychiatric examinations to make sure he didn't think he was a priest.

In Unrelated News
A man, in an attempt to generate sympathy for a "large" debt he'd run up, sliced of his tackle. He'd spent the money, ostenisibly gathered to start a business, on hookers and booze.

He wasn't the first guy to do this either, a few months prior, another man chopped his cock off because he owed debtors the whopping sum of $287 (which was 300,000 shillings and sounds like a lot more that way). But come on now, your penis isn't worth at least $300? Hmm, maybe that's a question for the Cheddar X? Or something like it.

The Church's New Tactic
How do you stem the rising, surging and thrusting tide of ungrateful molestees who keep accussing the church of touching their privates all the while the Vatican has recently stated that condoms don't stop AIDS (utter bullshit and a sign of the further recession of their connection to the real world).
Anyway, here's how you do it, you scare the holy crap out of people by disclosing just how freakin' huge the whole pedophilia, sodomy and other wanton lusty touchings that have been visited upon children by those sanctimonious bastards posing as cultural shepherds of God's flock.
Here comes the word, U.S. Bishop: Sex Abuse Study May Be 'Startling'.

Here let's take a closer look and discuss some of the story's points.

Its purpose was to "re-establish a level of credibility and trust with our people" and to make sure children are protected, Gregory said.

Oh yeah, protect the children, by buggering them all the time. I get it, makes perfect sense.

Boston was the epicenter of a scandal that swept the United States last year after it was discovered that several dioceses had transferred priests known to have abused children from parish to parish without alerting the public.

Oh wait, I think they got things screwed up. That line above about making the children are protected, are they talking about the children of God, i.e. the priests? No, you sick fucks, they're talking about real children, real defenseless little kids who were taught to trust you and you sodomized them. And then you're "Old Somodite Boy Network" kicked in to send you around to some new parishes where you've got more tasty little kids to prey on.

A number of U.S. Catholic officials and Vatican officials have said they felt the U.S. Church had been singled out for scrutiny for a problem that exists in other sectors of American society, including other religions.

Ah yes, the Everybody-Else-Is-Doing-It defense. Um yeah, just because its happening elsewhere as well as in your own hallowed halls certainly doesn't mean its excusable in any way, shape or form.

Last month the Archdiocese of Boston agreed to pay up to $85 million to settle lawsuits filed by hundreds of people who say they were sexually abused by clergy.

You should note that they still didn't accept any guilt for the sexual abuse. They just paid them off and left it at just the accusations of abuse. Isn't the first step in healing the damage or breaking a centuries long addiction to sex with children to admit that there is a problem? It looks like the Catholic Church isn't quite ready to admit it even though they're paying out millions upon millions of dollars in damages to a problem they can't even admit yet. Also, hmm, paying $85 mil because people said they were abused? Would you be willing to pay anyone for something you know for a fact you didn't do? What about if you did do it and they offered this way out to pay for the damages (though how you calculate the damage from a priest sticking his cock up a little child's backside is beyond me but I'm sure there are books in the church on how to do it fairly)? Why the sheer veil of secrecy, come out and admit your crime the faster to absolve yourself of its taint. (That means no more kid sex, padre).

Can anyone else smell the cognitive dissonance?

[Update: This post is an homage to Ryan for his technique of posting a paragraph and then dissecting it. I'm starting small and will work my way up to the multi-page analyses he does. But hey, he's a journo and I'm a flack, he's supposed to be better at it than me!]

First Rule of Stealing an Identity
The first rule of Identity Theft? Don't steal someone with a worse record than your own. Bear witness to the poster child for screwing this up: Idiot Assumes Sex Criminal's Identity.
Thanks to Hardy for sending this one on to me. Interestingly, the site isn't about making fun of sex crime idiots, its about safeguarding kids and families from these depraved predators. And with all the sex crime activity lately in Northern California, education might just be the means to defeating the predations of the sick bastards.

A Sad Day for the Blogging World
It would appear that one of the blogging world's best writers is going to be either hanging up her blogging britches or only donning them from time to time when the rare moment is available.
Fare thee well, Dear Layne, you'll be missed even if I do understand your reasons for going offline.
Maybe you could give a try to blogging by email?

Quality Links
A few links that I've come across recently that are worth a peek or two.
hersheys kisses (ever wonder where those little kisses come from? potentially not safe for work, depending on your environment)
electric sheep comix (just cool stuff)
Santa Cruz from the air (I love aerial photography and this is of my town so its that much better)
Escher in LEGOs (one of the greatest artists rendered in Lego form)
LugNet (Lego Users Groups)
CNET Digital Living (need to figure out how to spend that pesky $40K?)
SCRAPBOOKING 101 (kind of a cool site if you're into scrapbooking)
ClassicGaming.com - Game of the Week (the Oregon Trail, one of those educational RPGs that also happened to be good fun).