Intellectual Poison

A Drill Bit to the Eye Socket
I saw this on the news tonight and had to find a link to the story online to share with the world.
Man survives being impaled through eye on drill bit and yes, there is a picture of his xray with the bit going clean through.
I don't know if taking an 18 inch long 1 1/2 inch wide drill bit through the face can be called lucky but he is. He lost his eye but isn't paralyzed, isn't dead and didn't suffer any brain damage.
And he's got some pretty freaking amazing xrays to show off. Nice to see his nephew already joking about it like it happens all the time.

Two Cents on Madonna's Lame Attempt for More Attention
Oh my, Madonna makes out with Britney and Christina at the VMA's. Or rather, YAWN. The old bag is just trying to keep in the spotlight a little longer though she's not done anything innovative in years and is just milking her star until it falls.

She's like 50 now, right? What would people have said if a 50 year old man did what she did? They'd be outraged. Instead Madonna's all cool and hip again? Whatever, this was nothing but a cheap publicity stunt to generate gossip about her and sell more records because she needs attention, without it she's just another rich old sack of flesh.

And its worked because she's in all the papers and all over the news for kissing two girls that are half her age. But all I can say is big fucking deal. She's a media whore who'll do anything to get attention, including but not limited to kissing two pop tart slabs of record industry force fed lamo acts like Britney "Why Are You So MEAN, Justin" Spears and Christina "I'm Far Too Sexy for this Planet and quit asking if the gem booger on my nose is just a booger, it cost like a lot of money" Aguilera.

And perhaps this is one of the main reasons I can't watch MTV. I'm no longer even close to thier short attention span demographic that must be fed another "shocking" scene to maintain the over-hype and cover up the fact that they're just another media whore like Madonna. Oh yeah, and with a penchant for reality shows that are basically shout fests among teenagers. Oh boy!

[Update: Jay offers a much better idea than an old skank like Madonna kissing Britney and Christina, why not have Britney kiss Christina and leave Madonna out of it altogether? Its not the girl on girl kissing that's nasty, its the old lady and the teeny boppers kissing that's nasty. Good idea, Jay! Now if only I can burn the images of Madonna jamming her tongue down Britney's throat out of my mind.....]

[Second Update: Someone heard Jay's plea and, thanks to the wonders of Photoshop, here ya go, Britney making out with Christina.]

Barfly
It wasn't so much that she hated her life or that she hated him for coming to her rescue her from it, it was that she couldn't rescue herself. That she needed someone else to come in and show her how to get out of where she was.

And looking back, it was so easy. Too easy to realize that it was only the most subtle of changes. Just don't go to the bar anymore, just don't pick up the bottle, just don't allow some dirt bag to walk her home and use her. Just don't. A simple mantra that she knew she had to make her own but couldn't.

So she resented him for trying, she resented him for giving up after a time and she resented him for moving on and making a better life that didn't include her. That would preclude anything that related to her. And she sank back down into the muck on the bottom of the barrel. Settling for any loser who would show an interest in her, degrading herself but covering up the degradation with cheap alcohol that never worked long enough, that only left her craving more to fill up the emptiness inside her.

But she also knew that the alcohol was a ruse, an escape from having to cope with the reality of her life. That being wasted was a waste of herself. That the bar set was a dead end street that would leave her alone, alone with Captain Morgan, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and all the other bottles with names.

I knew why they named them like that. Why successful brands carried on and they had applied personalities. It made it easier to distract the mind into thinking that she wasn't alone, that there were others with her, commiserating on the sad and lonely state of their lives. But as long as the Captain was there then all wasn't totally lost. Sure, it was flawed logic but once she had a couple of shots in her, it all made sense and, after a few more, she even believed it herself. The delusion that the men she'd spend an evening with cared for her, wanted to get to know her instead of just wanted to get in between her legs to satisfy their own desire. She knew, when she was sober and mostly lucid, that they didn't care and that was part of the impetus to push her back into the bottle, every time. The knowledge was too much to bear and it stung like a hard slap to the face but one that never ended, ever.

We are social creatures, we need interaction (with the exception of abberations like hermits) and when you rely on the lowest common denominator in society for your companionship then you have to make sacrifices. Sacrifices like dignity, ethics, morality, taste, personal needs and even likability. She knew that with out the liquor to soften the edges there was no way she'd suffer their thinly veiled insults, their taunts behind her back. They way they treated her, the rough sex that had nothing to do with her even though it was her pussy they were abusing. Her body they were temporarily treating as their own little sex toy.

But she also wasn't alone then, she had somebody, anybody to lie next to. Another source of heat, of warmth and the dulling power of the alcohol allowing herself to deny that it was just for a night or a few hours or until he'd slept it off. Reality was the harshest drug of all and she hated dealing with it.

The rescue had been a failed attempt, ultimately undone by her own demons, the past that didn't know how to stay in the past. The craving that wasn't really a craving, it was a siren call of her own making. One that she wasn't powerless to resist but had no power against. Her slide had been inevitable and he saw that in retrospect. It isn't possible to save someone who's not ready to be saved and he cut her loose and got on with his life, resetting his sights on someone who wasn't happy to live on the bottom looking up and wondering what if.

Her arguments about her alcoholism rang false and hollow, a reflection of her own mind. A place that held a good deal of potential that had been pickled in the same alcohol until it was like a museum specimen, put it up on a shelf with a label and say "Yep, that's what I could have been." And now she couldn't even bring herself to think about that potential, it was painful as the years passed and nothing changed. She still found herself drawn, like a bug to the bug zapper, drawn into the false social contact of the bar only to notch her self loathing up again the next morning or afternoon when she awoke.

It couldn't last forever, life would intervene on her behalf to try and set her straight but the signs were ignored. A DUI that was seen as a nuisance and forgotten until another DUI and then another. Still the wrestling match with the bottle was so half hearted that she wasn't even really able to lie to herself that she was winning, that the bottle wasn't seeping into every pore and cell of her body and she was submitting to its velvety will.

And it hurt to see those she'd known in the past, those that had enjoyed their time in the bars and pubs, had partied with her and then moved on to better things. Like families and children and wives and futures. It was painful to assess her position that hadn't budged in years with the exception of jobs being lost, housing changes as people couldn't deal with her continued revolving door alcoholic hookups.

The years would pass, what beauty she had, what sparkle in her eye, it all began to fade, the smoking, the drinking, the late nights, the self loathing began to pile up in her until she couldn't stand it anymore. Her sober thoughts dwelled on end game actions, suicides, car crashes, the easy way out of the life and the hope that the next would serve up a better one to her.

And later on, when she was stumbling home again, laughing too loud to hide the crying inside, she would trip, falling into the broken glass behind the bar, her front yard. Slicing her wrist deeply but the inebriation would prevent her from realizing the danger until she'd laid herself down on her bed and slowly bled to death. As she felt the life draining from her, she did begin to catch on that the end was near and she smiled even as her heart began to struggle to find blood to pump. She slipped away and was lost.

Cheddary Cheddary Tock, The Clock Struck Cheese
Or whatever, I've no idea what I was trying to convey with that title. But let's jump right into the .

1. What TV show do you remember most from your childhood, and why?
Probably, Bah Bah Black Sheep now renamed Black Sheep Squadron on the History Channel. I think I remember it because it had all the good stuff a show should have. Fighting in planes, fighting on the ground, men in uniforms carrying out important missions, Robert Wagner as Pappy and it just resonated with me. I still watch it now and again.

2. Who would you elect for governor of California? (Assume you're a registered California voter.)
Gray Davis because he's who I voted for the first time around and I think the recall is an utter travesty of the democratic process.

3. Do violence and drugs in entertainment media cause violent or delinquent behavior in minors?
Um, I don't think they help curb it. I think alot of the shows that are targeted to kids are bad for them. But then, I grew up watching war shows, Loony Tunes and Battlestar Galactica (what was the deal with the furry robot dog? and didn't Lorne Greene used to run the Ponderosa? nice promotion to spaceship commander).

4. What are your current views on Iraq? How do they compare to your views from before the war?
Its a monstrous mess that will result in some assholes in Texas making millions off the blood and pain of American soldiers dying to try and fix what they broke. I'm glad Saddam's gone but the whole manner of it has been horribly insulting to anyone who's been paying attention.

5. What phobias do you have? (Fear of spiders, crowds, etc.)
I have a fear of wiping out at high speed on my motorcycle and becoming a vegetable, don't know if that's a phobia or common sense or age or what. I don't think I have any irrational fears that could be called phobias but lots of logical things that I fear.

6. If you could change one facet of American (or your) culture what would it be?
I would have to say that I would forcibly remove everyone's head from their own asses so that they could all see that there is more to the world than owning a huge, stupid, wasteful SUV, that there are things called manners and that our current government is the most corrupt bunch of fucknuts in the last hundred years. Oh yeah, I'd also make abortion totally legal forever and not an issue anymore, for chrissakes.

Now go and get yer own Cheddar on!

Of Wedding Rings and Other Nuptual Things
The wedding is moving ahead again after a short lull in which P and I caught our breath and found out that we're both really starting to look forward to the day. And not just to get it behind us so we can get on with our lives. Its actually becoming something we're both excited about which is a very good thing.

This week has been all about wedding rings and how we're going to work them out without spending a bloody fortune on them because, as I've noted before, it seems awfully silly to drop $5K into a stone that does nothing but sit there and is, essentially, just a gesture. Which is all well and good if you happen to have a house, no debt and the coin to spend on it. We, however, do not.

I'm not a fan of jewelry in general, never had a pierced ear (not on purpose at least), never wear chains or rings or anything else. So I wanted to make sure that whatever band I got wasn't going to bother the freaking hell out of me. I don't need an expensive ring by any means because its just not something I care about at all.

Maybe its a lack of romance in me or something but I found what I wanted on eBay, bought it, found another one I might want more and bought that one as well. I've since gotten both of them in the mail and like the second one more although the first is pretty cool too. Both are made out of titanium, yep, titanium so they're alot lighter than they appear. One is a darker color with a blue pattern that looks like the tracks skiers leave down a hill when they criss cross their paths and is cool looking but not especially comfortable to wear yet (I think a huge part of that is because I've never worn anything on my fingers, ever, and anything it going to take a good bit of getting used to). The other ring is much more polished and has two parallel grooves cut into it with the center section slightly darker than the rest. Its alot more comfortable to wear as its got a, surprise surprise, comfort edge on it. Both are fairly wide bands and maybe I'd be happier with a slightly narrower band. But I'm fine for now and that's the important thing.

Titanium's cool for more than just the lightweight factor. Its very, very strong so the ring won't ever deform in shape. The metal doesn't react with skin oils so there's no fear of discoloration or ickey residue like silver can leave sometimes. And its just plain cool to have a titanium ring. If you've gotta have one then go for the titanium!

Now P's ring is a whole different subject altogether. An eBay purchase just wasn't going to do for her and we've been playing verbal badminton (quick side note, I'd no idea that it had an "n" in it and had to check Google to make sure) about the whole thing. She wanted a few different things but nothing overly ornate or fancy. I wanted to keep the costs down as we're already spending a ton of money on the wedding and it is just going to be tough all the way around. She had a silver ring that I'd gotten for her several months ago that she really liked alot. A nice scrolling ornate design without too much flash.

So, after many discussions we decided to see about having the silver ring recast in gold or platinum. With platinum scraping against its highest levels ever and triple the cost of the gold I opted for white gold for this go around. The coolest part being that the jeweler will keep the mold and we can recast the ring in platinum at a later date, say, for an anniversary.

The ring is in process as we speak and should be ready just before we head to New England in a couple of weeks. I think we'll both end up being really pleased with the specially made ring and I'm happy that P will be happy.

Only about five hundred more details to iron out before the wedding but we're definitely moving in the right direction and I'm happier with two of the bigger issues out of the way now.

Fresh Cheese, We Gots Fresh Cheese Here!

The latest questions on the are up and ready to be masticated upon.

In Other News
Um, yeah, North Korea to Formally Announce it has Nuclear Weapons.
And the US delegate to the talks immediately demanded they dismantle them for lots of money and hot chicks or some other benefits.

Spam that Thinks Its Not Spam
Sometimes Spam can be about the funniest thing ever. Of course, you've gotta be in the right mood for it but this spam I just got almost made me fall over laughing.
"This IS a legitimate BUSINESS hgbbrlfvkblqg" from Errol Trejo

As if the highlighting of the "IS" and "BUSINESS" is going to make me overlook the hodgepodge attempted filter busting mangle of letters at the end. Or the fact that Errol Trejo is a made up name and it was sent to my work email address.

I know someone out there opens and reads their spam because it just keeps coming but damn, you have got to be absolutely dense to open this one. Spammers are those high school dropouts who thought they already knew everything important, they are the know-it-alls who don't really know anything. But some of them have a career in comedy if only they could harness their powers for good instead of for the lame sort of evil that just leaves you wondering how much crack they've smoked today.

The other spam I like is the Spam Stopper Spam, the kind that purports to be able to stop spam which is some sort of cyber suicide, isn't it?

Nice try Errol, but you're an idiot and I am not.

The Day Every School Kid Dreads
Oh yeah, the first day of the new year, the day when summer vacation is the absolute furthest away, the day when you get to find out that Susie got boobs over the summer, that Bobby grew eight inches, that everyone in the whole world has a GameBoy Advance but you, that the years of ridicule aren't quite over yet. That there will be absolutely no parking anywhere near my house from 7:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. and then again for the hour surrounding 3 p.m.

And I love it, I didn't even notice it until I was watering the tomatoes this morning (which are kicking off fresh and fabulous tomatoes everyday now!). Probably because I wasn't woken up by a semi backing up or the random conversations of the construction guys. Instead, there was the muted noise of kids reacquainting themselves with each other and seeing all the changes and upgrades to their school.

Pretty soon it'll be back to normal, a noisy cacophony of kids, cars, moms, dads, teachers and the occasional early band practice. And you know what? I hadn't realized how much I missed it, how there's something really very wholesome about the noise kids make, how its a sign of the normal progression of life. That and they are nowhere near as loud as the construction crew was.

The other major noise violator has made some efforts to tone his visits down in his big stupid deisel truck. I'm pretty sure my neighbor had a word with either him or her daughter to let them know that it was time to pretend to be grownups and not have shouting arguments at 2:30 in the morning and then going and using the accelerator as his anger meter. Sure, the daughter now thinks I'm a huge asshole and won't even look at me anymore (or maybe that's just my imagination, who knows) but it really doesn't matter anymore. The neighborhood is quieter again, I am getting my sleep and the world's a far better place with 8 hours of sleep as opposed to the less than 6 I was getting over the last several months.

So yeah, today's a better day although I had to ride my Mojo in this morning as the Phat cruiser's busted again already and headed back to the shop later on today. I don't understand what the problem is and apparently they don't either but I can't be having to put the chain back on the bike everytime I ride it, that's just an incredibly irritating pain in the ass. But I did take the scenic route in this morning, down to the beach and along the river into work. I think I'll be riding that way alot more often, its just so much nicer and prettier.

Next up? Wedding news updates, oh boy! Actually some pretty cool stuff starting to happen and we're both beginning to get more and more excited about the whole prospect instead of being overwhelmed by it!

Who Cares if She's Never Won a Singles Tournament
Um yeah, the Anna Jog Bra collection's now available at Amazon. Why does she continue to play tennis? I don't know and at this point, I don't really care.
Amazon.com: Anna Jog Bra Collection although $38.50 seems to be a bit on the expensive side for a jog bra.
But I'm sure she can afford it with the major coin that Bezos is paying her. I remember seeing a screen grab of the interview with Bezos and Anna, he looked like he was about to burst just sitting next to her. Pretty funny, maybe I'll have to search it up.

Quality Imagery Action
This is the second of the two good forwards that EB sent over last week, the first, the Real Reason Men Die Before Women has been added to the IntePoi Pics page for posterity.
These are work safe as far as I can remember and they are in the same vein as M.C. Escher.
Illusion #1, Illusion #2, Illusion #3 and Illusion #4

Random Mini-Rant
A bite sized rant so if people don't like it they can spit it right back up on the plate that is Intellectual Poison.

I clicked my random blog link a little while ago to see what would come up. Some blog called Fashions and Restaurants with $ for S's (oooh, the irony). Anyway, the page appeared to be blank but with some links sprinkled through it. So I selected the whole page and lo and behold, there was the text. Why in the hell would someone use a white font on a white background on a blog they wanted people to read?
Are they thinking its cool to be secret or are they just stupid people who shouldn't be doing any coding of any sort?
That and why do some bloggers use such tiny fonts that its damned near impossible to read them? The idea is to get generate interest in your writing not make it hard to figure out what the hell you wrote.

Its About Friggin' Time News
States Ask Hollywood to Cut Back on Smoking in Movies.
And I'm sure Hollywood will not mind giving up all those big tobacco subsidies they've been getting for decades. Oh sure, anything for you Middle America!

Shades of Monica, UK Cigar Ad
Normally I'm against any tobacco ads but this one's a nice change. Its out of the UK and is racier than most any other ad I've seen since the last one that Esther forward on to me. Where does she find this stuff anyway?
So here is Hand rolled and it is most definitely not work safe so don't blame me if you get busted for watching it.

Spoke Too Soon or, I'm Just So Torn About Oklahoma Now

Saw this on the news this morning, Ebbers Faces Criminal Charges in Oklahoma. And now I just don't know what to think about the OK state. On the one hand they are the first to bring charges against these greedheaded idiots who ran WorldCom into the ground and then buried it under something like $11 billion dollars in accounting errors. Now if only Lay and Skilling would get charged for their share of the Enron debacle.....

And then there's the other side of the coin where they are prosecuting a teenager for writing a short story that had no relation to anything he might consider doing in real life, the assault of his high school. The Seattle Post Intelligencer (post intelligence is what exactly? smart enough to not run into one or what happens when you used to be smart and burned all those braincells?) has this article up Can Thought Police Safeguard Our Kids? The article's author, Brian Chin finsihes up the short piece with this important question, "It's a scary world where schools need to be on guard for students who might suddenly commit mass murder. It's even scarier if people can be prosecuted for just thinking about it."

Oh Oklahoma, why do you torment me so?

What Bug Crawled up MetaFilter's Ass?
This post on Metafilter, SUV MonkeyWrenching, was deleted as being unproductive. Yesterday I screwed up and posted a link to my own site on Metafilter, Why Men Die Before Women and got pasted by some rule nazis quickly which doesn't really bother me because I was in the wrong and next I'll post just the pics without the web page attached. It wasn't about driving traffic, it was about spreading some entertaining pics.

But now it seems like some worm's crawled into MetaFilter's ass and they're chomping down on all kinds of posts. The SUV post, which was both relevant and interesting, is just the latest.

They need to get that bug removed soon because censoring MetaFilter will kill it off damned quickly.

Feels Like a Hard Slap in the Face
The scum bag greed headed fucks who ran Enron into the ground aren't going to even face trials for their crimes. They won't be held accountable in anyway for pretty much fucking an entire state all summer long, causing a company to collapse while owing $67 billion to creditors and gouging each and every Californian.
Contra Costa Times | 08/20/2003 | WorldCom, Enron execs elude charges

And who says crime doesn't pay? I bet these peckers got to keep their big fat severance packages as well.

A Good Idea for this 9/11
Came across this really good idea for the coming anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. The idea is to get as many bloggers to photoblog the day and post the pics from what they did that day. The page is http://www.aboutitall.com/septphotoblog_comments.php?id=P1032_0_9_0 and I'm definitely planning on doing it and posting a couple of galleries here.

It also helps that 9/11 is also my birthday so the whole thing's got extra signifigance to me. Shame that I'll be spending pretty much the entire day flying back to the east coast although it might be very, very interesting to fly into New York that evening. Not quite sure where we're touching down yet (gotta, gotta, gotta get those tickets ASAP). But I will be travelling and that might just be an interesting way to see how different parts of the country will react.

Last year would have been a good day to do this as well, I went to watch the Giants and Dodgers play at PacBell Park in San Francisco. A gorgeous day and much of the usual rowdiness was missing as people carried themselves with a bit more somber attitudes.

Anyone else that's interested in taking part is definitely welcome to join up and I don't think there's any intent to restrict this to the US. Its also not meant to be used as a political forum, its an exercise in the theme of those Day-in-the-life books. Great, now I'll have that Beatles song in my head all day now.

Penis Enlargement Pill or Repackaged Feces?
Some 'enlargement' pills pack impurities, most notably poop. Those pills are made from POOOoooooooop! (sorry, momentarily channeled Charleton Heston).
There's a guy on Metafilter (where I was summarily smacked down for having the utter poor taste to direct surfers to my own website to see the pics of Why Men Die Before Women but its okay for someone else to send the link in? that makes sense somehow). Anyway there's a guy on MetaFilter who was setting up a site to track the relative growth of his dick during the course of taking the penis grower pills. I wonder if he's still alive now and I bet he'd just love to know about all the other tasty little bacterium in those pills. They are essentially solid swamp water with some chunky poo tossed in. Nasty.

But wait, it gets better. Other materials found in these little conveniently sized death pills are: lead and other heavy metals, pesticides and those yummy and good for you bacteria.

Save your money or spend it on some therapy if you've got a small dick. Besides, 28% more (as the dick grower company says is the average growth by using their pills) of almost nothing is still almost nothing.

Said It Once and Now Again: Good Riddance to the Pedophilic Priest
Prison Guards Describe Pedophile Priest's Death
Sure, the guy who killed him is a total and utter scumbag as well but so what, one less piece of shit to have to worry about. Geoghan was a monster who molested children without the slightest regard for the damage he was causing.

I love the article's line "he 'was terrified the whole time he was in prison.'" and he should have been. But he certainly didn't give a damn about the consequences of his actions when he was buggering 8 year olds. Let him be made an example of, let his life and dirty, filthy death be a wake up call to all the sick sons of bitches who are out there, right now, right this fucking moment, fondling a child for their own twisted and perverted sexual gratification.

You may get away with it for a little while but when you get caught, you will live out your days in abject terror before someone ends your profane existence. Make an example of the true monsters, not the teenagers who are exploring their creativity.

What's That Amendment to Free Speech Again?
According to school officials in Oklahoma, there is no such thing as the freedom to express your views or thoughts anymore. Witness Brian Robertson who wrote a story about an armed assault of his school and is now facing up to 10 years in prison because of it. The story is on Wired News: Write a Story, Go to Jail.

They officials are claiming that his story constitutes a battle plan to cause catastrophic death and pain to society. And they've got a nice juicy new law on the books that says that to do so is a crime, a big ugly stinking pile of crime. Only thing is that I don't think individual states have the capacity to rewrite the federal laws. This kid was exercising his right to create a scenario that he had absolutely no intention of ever carrying out, he was exploring a darker side of the world of writing. And some uptights in power have decided to make an example of him by punishing him with jail time?

There are a few things that are wholly wrong about this situation. One, schools are intended to foster creativity and expresion so that kids can find their voice, schools are not intended to instill fear that something you write could land you in prison.
Two, free speech is a damned sacred right in this country. It allows dissenting viewpoints to have a podium, it allows asshole Illinois Nazis to march through Jewish neighborhoods, it allows those against the war in Iraq to voice their displeasure. It is not an absolute right though, free speech cannot be hidden behind by someone who intentionally incites violence and riots, it can't be used to level specific threats at the president.
Three, it was a story, nothing more. They searched his life from top to bottom and found nothing at all that suggested he planned to carry out the story's plot. And yet, they still kicked his ass out? On what grounds? They had none but they did it anyway in the name of security. And now this kid's life is pretty well fucked, he can't get a job because of the press exposure. Because he wrote a story. That's so utterly whacked its beyond whacked, its insane. The Peace or Else Mafia is rearing its pacifistic head and demanding the whole world lay down alongside the next sheep and not think bad thoughts, ever.

What's next? Home invasion searches to make sure students dont' have copies of illicit texts, pornography, violent video games or, shudder to think, guns in their possession. Guess what? Its LEGAL to own a gun, its LEGAL to shoot a gun, its LEGAL to possess a firearm. The article also mentions a bunch of other kids across the US getting suspended or expelled for writing or demonstrating an interest in the dark side. And guess what? Pushing them out the door isn't going to cure them, it'll just cause the anger they may be feeling to fester into resentment, rage and potentially violence which is ironic because they almost certainly wouldn't have if they'd been allowed to explore it in an academic environment.

Sometimes I truly hate this fucking country for the sickening hypocrisy of it all. You don't think the cops weren't armed to the friggin' teeth when they searched his home and car, do you? Of course they were. Show of force and all that rotten garbage.

Its getting so that kids can't be kids anymore, they have to be little adults all the time or they get sent to prison and effectively broken forever. Nice work, Oklahoma, think I'll be permanently crossing your shitty state off any list of places I'd ever want to visit. I might slip up and say Bomb in your state and you'd have to arrest me and throw me into a dungeon for twenty years for not being a Shiny Happy Person all the time. Get your heads out of each other's asses and recognize that you over reacted and give the kid his life back.

[Update: Brian's mother has begun a website to help spread the word about the railroad job being given to her son, check it out.]

The Real Reason Men Die Before Women
The first of two excellent forwards from EB at the end of last week. Click them each to see a bigger version. My personal favorite is the bottom right hand one with the guy going into the tunnel on the bus. He's just so blissfully oblivious to the fact that he's about to go bye-bye.
And no, I don't think any of these are real pics, that would be just nasty. Especially the mower one, yuck.

Weekend Wrap
A mellow Friday night gave way to a pretty busy and productive Saturday. Started out with breakfast at Aldo's in the harbor which is a pretty well unbeatable spot for view, sun, ocean action and good food. Further enhanced by the addition of some friends and their Weimerauner who's my pal. It was a good way to start the weekend, I thought.

Got my cruiser into the shop and had them replace the bottom bracket with a narrower one that's supposed to fix the chain line issues. So far so good, I buzzed down the hill, passing one slow pedaling mountain biker along the way and pounded on the pedals as hard as I could to see if I could break it. If its going to break then I want to break it quickly so I can get the shop to get it fixed up (again).

Saturday night was a little dinner party thing at some pal's, good fun, good food, good people and we came up with a bachelor party plan that will work, can incorporate SO's if they want to and should be a total blast. If you guessed, Jailhouse Paintball then you are damned near pyschic. This place is about a half hour or so south of Santa Cruz. Not many of my pals have played before, I've only played it a couple of times and not in a few years. I figure spending the afternoon shooting at each other with paintballs and then going out drinking afterwards should be a damned fine way to commemorate the occasion. We'll need 20 people minimum to rent the whole place out but I don't think that'll be too much of a problem and we might just end up with a bunch more than 20 which'd be just fine.

Sunday late morning was an exercise in doing nothing and allowing the toxins to work themselves out slowly. It had been a late night but at least I didn't pass out on their couch like two of the girls did. Instead I wandered home in the wee hours of the morning, drunk and talking to myself, as I nearly always do. And I found out that its harder than I thought to break into my house, took me about a half hour or so before I was able to get in and sack out.

Sunday was nice, though hotter than fuck in the house. It got to the point where I'd had enough. Had gone to get my bike already and headed down to the beach where I assumed it would be truly dashboard melting excrutiatingly hot. And it had been but by the time I rolled down the heat of the day had started to give way to the cooling breezes we get in the afternoon sometimes. Played a game of volleyball with the guys, actually had good hands and we won by a decent margin. Then went down to the water and did some body surfing for a bit which was good fun because the waves were occasionally really pretty damned big. And I was finally able to hold myself in the wave itself and not get launched out and down in front of it to get washing machined into the beach. Did that make sense? Maybe I should try again for my Mini-soda readers who wouldn't know a wave from a handshake. Or maybe Ryan and Layne are ocean stars stranded in 10,000 lakes country, some sort of ironic purgatory?

Anyway, it was damned fun even though the water's down about 5 degrees from last week and was damned cold amid the damned fun. I've gotta start trying to remember to bring my boogie board down with me on Sundays because it would have been excellent fun slamming those waves. Though they would have been scary as hell in a surf kayak because they were breaking so sharply.

Got a haircut last night so I'm like a third blond now, kind of a cool look but it didn't go with a week's worth of whiskers. My electric's breaking so I'm shaving a lot less than I normally would. Looks like another thing that needs to be gotten. Oh well, if Costco had had the right one the last time we went in then I'd have been all set but they had some crappy Panasonic thing and not the Braun that I want.

On the work end of things, the second incentive and bonus program of the year has been initiated by my boss. Which means that I've got some specific marks to hit by the end of the year to get another bonus which'll be even better than last time. I'm quite stoked to start up the game again. The incentive program is a truly excellent motivator as I now look at work like an elaborate game. Push the right buttons and you get the hits! And the hits is what I'm all about now. It also says something about my value to the company because I was one of the very, very few in the company to get a bonus this last June due to the diminished sales. But we are definitely bouncing, we're hiring and growing (heck, we got a new printer on Friday and you really have no idea how important that is to a small place like ours!).

So, on that note, I'm off to start digging for my hits, making them happen all over the place and tabulating my wins for future proof of the ass kicker job I'm doing for the company. If we aren't doing well then it is most certainly not for a lack of exposure in the press.

Fare Thee Well, Bobby
Bobby Bonds Succumbs to Cancer and in the process, the world has lost a great baseball hero and a good man.
You will be missed, Bobby.

What Do You Call One Dead Pedophilic Priest?

A good start.

Pedophile Priest Killed in Prison Attack
Now, I don't laud the killing of another human being but this guy only barely passed for human. According to the article there were more than 130 suits filed against him for molestations undertaken while he was a representative of the church.

I say he got what was coming to him. And good riddance to a true scumbag.

Saddam's Other Family Members
A little Friday afternoon humor to help keep all those drooping eyelids propped open for a couple more hours until the end of the work week. These come by way of the 20/20 Kim Spot and yeah, they should get around to posting on their site just a wee bit more often.

Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known family members are coming to the attention of American authorities.
Among the brothers:
Sooflay ............the restauranteur
Guday...............the half-Australian brother
Huray...............the sports fanatic
Sashay..............the gay brother
Kuntay & Kintay.....the twins from the African mother
Sayhay..............the baseball player
Ojay................the stalker/murderer
Gulay...............the singer/entertainer
Ebay................the internet czar
Biliray.............the country music star
Ecksray.............the radiologist
Puray...............the blender factory owner
Regay...............the half-Jamaican brother
Tupay...............the one with bad hair
Among the sisters:
Lattay..............the coffee shop owner
Bufay...............the 300 pound sister
Phayray.............the zoo worker in the gorilla house
Sapheway............the grocery store owner
Ollay...............the half-mexican sister

Next up, some really good forwards from EB, illusions and the real reason why men die younger than women.
But if I don't get to it until Monday then enjoy a lovely weekend. I'm just looking forward to getting some sleep and doing more wedding stuff.

Marketing Oxymorons
I just did a Google search on blog rings and came up with this ad on the top of the page.
Now at Wal-Mart: Keepsake Fine Jewelry
www.walmart.com Dazzling diamonds and a Best Price Guarantee.

Um yeah, would you, as a woman want to know that you're boyfriend/husband/whatever bought you a diamond ring at Walmart?
Or is that just a West Coast snobbery against Walmart? A place that I hate for lots of reasons, first and foremost is that its the great melting pot of commerce, you can't get what you want there, you can get what Walmart has decided you want. They are social engineers on a national scale (do they have stores in other countries?) and they also force suppliers to kow tow to their methods of doing business or they blacklist them and can never sell their wares in their hallowed and garishly overlit halls.

Walmart sucks.

Oh Boy, More Cheddar Please!
In the continuing quest to elevate the weekly Q&A forums to attain a little more depth instead of wondering when the last time you bathed was, the goes for some real meat. By the way, the Friday Five has a horribly difficult time of honoring opt-out requests, I've asked them every week for the last month to stop telling me that their crappy little list is up. And yet, there it is, like spam in my in-box.

Oh well, they suck, the Cheddar X does not! And on to the questions for this week.

1. What's your worst alcohol related experience?
Making the mistake of thinking that gin makes a good chaser for lobster. I used to work at a hotel, we used to shamelessly pilfer food and beverages. So, one night we grabbed a couple of live lobsters and a bottle of gin. By the way, walking around with two live lobster in your backpack is a very, very strange sensation.
Anyway, we went to the party, took over the kitchen and feasted on these gorgeous lobsters. And the proceeded to get utterly stinking hammered on gin and somethings. Hours later I was curled up fetal style on a patch of grass next to the bridge between Hanover, NH and Norwich, VT, puking my holy guts out for what seemed like weeks.
It took a good fifteen years before I could even think about drinking gin again.

2. What's the absolute dumbest thing you've done?
I'm not sure if its possible to narrow it down to just one. How about thinking it was cool to make the most drunk among us drive home from parties, on the wrong side of the road at very, very high speeds. I still don't quite understand how we didn't die fifty times over.

3. What is your biggest crossroad in life? That is, what choice, action, non-action most brought you to where you are instead of where you might have been?
In recent history I'd have to say it was deciding to move to California. I'd just come back from a year in South Africa and was searching for my place in the world. Santa Cruz has been an excellent place for me to grow into who I am today and it also provided me with a place to get an education. Which led to another big crossroads, the anthropology class I wanted was full so I took the concurrent philosophy class and became a philosophy major the next day.
In my teen years it would have to be my three month expedition into the Wind River mountains in Wyoming with the National Outdoor Leadership School. We trekked all over Wyoming, Arizona, Nevada and other places, learning how to camp properly, rock climb, travel through a desert environment without damaging it, how to winter camp and how to spelunk (that's caving). It also taught me that I can do damn near anything I need or want to. That my inner reserves of strength are far deeper than I gave them credit for. That knowledge is absolutely and utterly priceless.

4. Who are your favorite bloggers and why?
Ahhh, an easy question. Let's see, I read Layne for a bunch of reasons, she's a great writer, a good friend and she introduced me to blogging in the beginning (I also go there for the red hot monkey love sex posts!). Ryan because he's just too damned hot and sexy to not try to emulate at all times and how better to emulate him than to read his innermost thoughts, he's also funny as hell, opinionated as hell and a damn good guy, one of those people who, if he calls you friend, would actually do anything for you if you needed help and that's both rare and highly laudable. Carlene because she's got a great sense of humor, always has something interesting to post about and can make me laugh in spite of myself and that's very, very cool. The Fabulous Mint 400 is next because they post about things I'm interested in, always have a different angle on things although I must say that they've been slacking a bit lately but don't worry, I still hit them up all the time. Amy because she's got a conscience, because she cares about what's happening in the world and is working to make it a better place (and she forgives me when I bite her head off). Courtney because she's cool, she's local and I've never been to her site and regretted it. Others like Gudy, Jivha, Daintily Dirty and Snooze Button Dreams are also regular reads for good reasons, they make me think, they make me grateful for what I've got and where I am and each of them has something special and interesting to add to my day.

Oh yeah, I love reading Metafilter because there really is no other place to find alot of the post topics. I learn more by going there than by hitting any news site.

5. What's your best example of ironic justice?
The guy who got run over by his own Sport Utility Vehicle is a good one. But damn, Ryan's got an excellent one with his response. Bastard.
Oh wait, I've got it. This was a few years ago but it still kills me. Some idiot in Arizona was drunk and taking out his impotent rage on some saguaro cacti with his shotgun. Well, saguaro cacti are really tall and he was really stupid. He blasted the base of one and it fell over, on top of him and crushed him. I hope he suffered for a long time before he died.

6. Which is more futile, the war on drugs or the war on terrorism?
I'd have to say the war on drugs because its just not winnable. Drugs are a part of American culture and others as well. People will figure out some way to alter their state of mind regardless of whether John Law says its okay or not. Its also a huge waste of money to persecute people who are smoking dope in their homes and causing no harm to anyone. Quick side note, those commercials trying to convince people that buying pot is the same as supporting terrorism were so utterly bogus that I can't even begin to refute them. Oh wait, yeah I can. Show me the money trail from buying a sack of dope in Northern California, pot that was grown in Northern California by Americans, how does that money get into the terrorist's hands? Unless they mean that he'd invest that in the stock market and the terrorists are selling off their stocks right before a massive attack on American business? But I don't think that's the route they intend to imply. Its stupid to think that smoking dope is the same thing as buying bullets and bombs for terrorist acts. Funny, they've not been showing those commercials in a long time, wonder why.

7. How many copies of the Sobig worm have you had to delete this week? (round off to the nearest hundred thousand if you like)
At least 500 so far from both my work and personal emails. And it doesn't seem to be slowing down in the least.

Want some ? Then go and get some!

Integrity Be Damned, The News is What FOX Says It Is
Found this thread via a Metafilter thread about Al Franken and Bill O'Reilly.
Appellate Court Rules Media Can Legally Lie. - SierraTimes.Com

I wasn't aware that there's no such thing as journalistic integrity. No adherence to the truth, just let's push for ratings and fuck 'em if they don't like it.

I just became a member of the Anti-Fox News band wagon. They don't deserve another moment of airtime if they think its okay to misrepresent the truth for their own ends. They're fucking journalists for chrissake! They're supposed to be objective but O'Reilly's taken that term and turned it into a lie.

Which reminds me, I need to blog about the recurring tendency to name things the opposite of what they truly are. Its in true Orwellian 1984 fashion. I'll have to think about it and construct the post but here's the seed.

Monsanto Suing Dairy Over Non-BGH Label
Intellectual Properties has a very interesting story going about Monsanto, the company that makes and markets BGH- Bovine Growth Hormone. They've decided to sue Oakhurst Dairy because they have a note on their label that their milk doesn't contain BGH. Monsanta thinks this is wrong because it might give people the idea that BGH is less than perfectly safe. Guess what? BGH isn't perfectly safe, unless you call 11 year old boys with breasts safe or 10 year old girls starting thier menstrual periods safe.

The link to the story is here, Monsanto Sues over Non-BGH Label.

Scary thing is that Daintily Dirty makes it all very way to close to home with her own story of her daughter. And the fact that she's very young and has developed some sort of a lump in her breast is scary to say the very least.

Monsanto needs to be told that people have every right to know about the garbage that other people are choosing to not include in their products. Its part of being empowered to make an informed decision. As for me? I'm going to start making for damned sure that my milk is organic and clean of BGH. I don't need boobs, thanks, my girlie's got that covered.

Perhaps more and more folks should start emailing Monsanto with their ire and they'll get the idea that they are on the wrong side of the tracks on this one.

Its getting so you've either got to grow it yourself or risk growing a third arm. Now a third leg, we can talk about but I don't need any more arms.