Intellectual Poison

Sleeping with the Enemy News

Dell Starts Selling Apple iPods, which I'll take to mean that Apple scored a major design hit with the iPod.

Cross over sales are the first step to letting people know how much better and easier Macs are compared to Windows boxes. Good deal!

Got a Question?

Ask the Crazy Eyeball at TLC. Really just another take on the old Magic Eight Ball concept but done with some nice graphics and why not let a computer program answer your important questions for you? It'll be right at least some of the time.

Side Note for PS2 Gamers
Just picked up my copy of the best game series for pure, unadulterated non-PC urban violence and mayhem. Yup, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is the new toy and I'm chomping at the bit to get home and play some.

For those unfamiliar (and likely, unhorrified yet) with the Grand Theft Auto game series, check it out. Its what a game should be, explosively entertaining, wildly irreverent, politically incorrect, and not-for-use-by-teenaged-minds fun. This latest iteration goes back to the days of Miami Vice so I'm expecting lots of fun goodies like chickies in bikinis, great sunset action, all kinds of crazed freaking criminals. And its kind of cool that its somewhat based on Miami itself because I was just there for the first time.

And here ya'll go, some cheat codes for the game. None are verified yet but there's a bunch so have at it.

Pop-Up Ridiculosity

You know when you think you have the proper URL for a website so you just enter it into the address line in your browser. But if you mess it up you end up on some incredibly low budget site trying to sell the wrong URL you just entered with a whole bunch of garbage links.

Well that has now been one-upped by an amazingly stupid pop-up that asked me if I wanted to set my home page to this garbage site I didn't ever want to go to in the first place. I would have much preferred a pop-up asking me if I wanted the idiot who came up with the idea to get kicked in the nuts again. Why in the hell would I have any interest in setting my home page to some moron's site he made to catch people who MISPELL a URL? Oh yeah, lots of traffic from the dyslexic crowd and they got credit cards and check by phone payment capability.

What idiots. Like the dumbasses who spam me with my screen name in the subject line, is that supposed to make me think you know me? I can't wait until spam legislation's gone through and spammers will actually be hunted down and skewered like the bottom feeding scum they are.

I'll Buy That For Five Dollars

As is my usual custom of mixing in some good with the bad I was not the least bit surprised to find out that I'd won this last weekend's football for the neighborhood.
In the midst of all the emotional rocketeering from last Sunday I'd taken a few moments to check in on the football games and realized that I was doing pretty well. After the early games had ended and I'd not lost a single pick yet I realized that I had a good chance of winning the whole thing.

And it came down to me and a guy who'd already won two out of the four weeks he'd played. But we'd both taken Philly, I'd just happened to have more points on the game so when Philly thwumped the Giants (boo hoo upstate, uptight M.B.! hehehe) I got to defray some expenses. And nearly the entire season of the football was paid for in one go. Now if I just win a few more times then I'll be all set.

Ice Sport News
That said, what is up with the San Jose Sharks? They just can't seem to get their game on yet even though their stars are off to a reasonable start. They played well last night against the Red Wings but just couldn't quite get all the pieces to fit properly and they couldn't pull out the win. Oh well, with Nabokov back in goal they should get their game in place soon, I hope.

Lame penalty calls didn't cost them the game but they did cost them any chance of tying it up in the last few minutes of the third period. Damn.

Serendipity

Well how about that, by using a word I just thought up another word to grow out of it.
Repartease - someone who flirts with plenty of sexual innuendo, humor and wit but inevitably doesn't take you home.

Another New Toy for iPod Pleasure

Okay, the Soundbug is pretty much of a bust in its current incarnation except for a very limited scope of usage.

But my other latest gadget for the iPod is very cool, works like a charm (so far). Its called an iRock 300w and what it allows me to do is transmit my iPod songs wirelessly to any radio within a 30 foot radius that's tuned to the right radio station. Which means I can use the iPod in the car really easily. But my other neat trick is to plug it into an AM radio on the side of the office here where we can get reception and beam KNBR to my FM radio at my desk. My office is in a bank and the walls are like three feet thick so AM reception is quite tough to get. But FM works no problem.

As my country-folk kin might be want to say, Ginchy!

Product Endorsement Update

Well, maybe I spoke a little too soon about the Soundbug. Its a neat idea and the gadget itself is well thought out but the bottom line is that, if you plan on using it for much of anything beside study hall music listening or other quiet place listening then its just never going to be loud enough.
You can daisy chain them together for, assumedly, louder output but at a suggested retail of $50 a pop that's a bit expensive for low-fi reproduction.
Not sure if I'll keep it but I may just so I can mess around with it some more. Maybe it will work better on a better surface, who knows?

It's still cool but its first gen cool, not quite ready for prime time consumption, ya know?

PS
Jeez, whodda thought a week out of the office would pile up so much email to deal with? I'll be lucky to dig myself out by tomorrow afternoon.

Notes from the Frontline

Well, I'm home. Safe and physically sound. With all the flying yesterday I had plenty of time to think, plan, write, prepare and contemplate on much of my universe. My notes will be forthcoming as I figure out how to sync my Palm to my Powerbook again (the Palm nearly perished this morning out of sheer frustration).

One thing I do want to do is thank those of you that took the time to write me directly and express condolences. It meant and means quite a lot to me that my sorrow touched folks out there. And thank you for the wonderful news of intentions to reconnect family ties that had been left to drift in the wind. One thing I am keenly aware of is the finite time we do have in this life and it is up to each of us to spend that time as wisely as possible. And that means loving those who are important to you.

I know it would make my father smile to know that his passing may have helped to rebond other children with their families again. Anyone out there who hasn't told their mom and dad how much they mean to them should call them or email them or stop by as soon as they can. Same goes for parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles and everyone else. Let your loved ones know how much they mean to you. The meaning isn't solely in the knowing, its in the telling too.

Last Update from Florida

Its late on Sunday night after a long and hard day surrounding my father's passing. We had a party for my dad earlier today that was far and away the most difficult time for me yet.
It was held in a park just up the street and attended by a couple of hundred people who all knew my father and had loved him. He truly was a magnificent man. I will be constructing a series of pages dedicated to him with lots of pics, commentary and his unabbreviated obituary among other things. I might even be able to get a copy of the video from the party.

It was, as I said earlier, the most difficult time for me. I know why too. It became impossible to tell myself, as I addressed the crowd of gathered people to say a few words about my dad, it became impossible to delude myself further and I was forced to accept the fact that my father died last week. Intellectually I knew it but the emotional commitment to the concept was not quite so forthcoming. It came today.

As my best friend wrote in an email over the weekend, I needed to cry. I needed to vent the anguish and angst and emotional charge that's been building ever since I first found out. I tried my best to be as strong as possible but was damned near overcome towards the tail end of my short talk about him. It was the most difficult moment I've experienced in a very long time. I will transcribe the words I said on my dad's behalf when I'm back home in the next few days and post them to his tribute page that's already in the germination stages.

But really, overall, the day was festive, fun and a good time to spend with all his friends who knew me and I knew most of them from my time living with my Dad and Judi outside of Chicago when he was first diagnosed ten years ago. The outpouring of sympathy, love and touching rememberances was almost too much to bear. But in the end, it was good and I know my father, where ever he may be, enjoyed the gathering of his friends. And I am sure he was laughing along with everyone else during the kazoo tribute (and no, I won't explain that further).

He was an extraordinary man, my dad. And he will be sorely missed by everyone who knew him. He was special for many, many reasons but one of the most important was that he was friendly and honest and caring to every single person he met. He took the time to get to know people, he knew more people than anyone I've ever met, touched more lives in a good way than anyone I've ever known. He was one hell of a great guy.

And I will do my best to emulate his stellar example and be a better person because of him.
But for now, I must get to bed for tomorrow is a long and harried day of travel back out west to home, work and my future. But I've also gotten a chance to reconnect with a wonderful group of friends here.

That and time with my two nephews (and the rest of the family, don't get me wrong) was the best medicine I could ever imagine. These two little boys are wonderful in more ways than could ever be measured. I will enjoy watching them grow up. And will, hopefully, one day have children of my own for them to look up to, look after and shepherd.

Side Effects of Strange Beds

I don't know how people do it. How do people go to sleep wearing clothing? I sleep so much worse when I'm forced by decorum to not sleep all naked.

And there's nothing like the sublime joy of the late night run to loo and danging your shins (you know, when you run into something and yell "Dang"? or am I the only who says Dang anymore?) against the low table by the door. Going from semi consciousness to full blooded ow-mother-fucker in under a second. Oh boy, sleep oughta be easy after this.

Much Later
All better, its almost 11 now in Florida and I slept decently well to wake up to another day of dealing. But at least I get to see my mom today and that's always good.

On Track to Get Back

I guess I'm in a slightly funky sort of mood right now. Its been a long and not unpleasant day. Went for a long walk on the beach with my step mom this morning. Gotta love that gulf coast water! Warm and wee little waves, just shuffle when you walk in the water or you may just step on a stingray.

The afternoon was broken up by the arrival of my sister and nephew number one, Andrew. Always a pleasure to spend time with my sister although, obviously, the present circumstances leave something to be desired. But still, its always good to see her and since she'd been unable to join us in Delaware last month, this is all the better.

Back to the house in Bonita Beach, went swimming with Andrew in the pool, enjoyed watching the simple pleasures that a 3 year old can take in merely flailing his legs into the water. Children are amazing for more reasons than I can count but one of the most important ones right now is their blissful ignorance of larger issues that face grownups. I'm envious of their innocence.

Their because my brother, his wife, her parents and my other nephew, Zola, all showed up in a rush of bodies, people, heat (have I mentioned that its hotter than hell here? nah, its not that bad and certainly kicks the poop out of Chicago in late October). But yeah, it is hot but not unbearable by any means. I prefer sweating to shivering any day. It was alot of fun to watch the two little oblivious children play in the pool.

A nice evening of time together, looking through ancient photo albums, back to the early days in Germany, the steamer they immegrated over on and pics of my dad as a young child, a boy, a young man and then later on as an adult, father, husband and sailor and all around wonderful guy. It was nice and illuminating to look at my family's history in black and whites. It made me think to my own future and what the scene would be like in the context of the digital age, can't really go handing around old memory sticks or flash cards, can we?

Cool little side note:
I just went and used the bathroom and found a tiny little frog in the sink as I was rinsing up. It was no bigger than a dime as it hunched up against the pastel porcelain. I captured him gently and released him into the back yard. So my good deed for the day's been done at least once and probably twice.

Blatant Commercial Endorsement
Anyway, one quick product endorsement for the day because I dig it. I picked up an Olympia Soundbug at Fry's on my way to the airport yesterday because I have yet to have gotten my iRock 300w FM transmitter to allow me to beam my iPod music to any radio tuned to the right station. Actually I tried to buy one but they didn't have them and I saw the Soundbug.

I don't know if anyone's familiar with this little unit but what it does seems like magic but isn't. You attach the little unit to a flat surface, suction it down, plug it in and turn it on. It turns any flat surface into a soundboard or speaker. No, it won't blow your doors off with gut twisting bass but it does play well and I'm quite curious to see how the sound quality changes on different surfaces. But so far, I'm digging it quite a bit.

And it doesn't hurt that I picked mine up for $30 when every other one on the shelf had a $50 tag on it. Same exact thing, just mismarked and I walked out with a 40% off savings. Not sure if its fifty dollars cool but its definitely thirty dollar cool.

Part of What's Wrong with America

As I drove across Highway 75, one of numerous "alligator alleys" in south Florida, from Miami to Fort Myers tonight I saw a road sign that summed up quite a lot of what is wrong with our country.
How would you like to go camping at a place called Kountry Kampin'? Granted that this might be a Triple K affiliate (note, not to be confused with Circle K in the Southwest of the US, think cross burning not Keystone Light and tanker sized coffee mugs for the long haul truckers).
Or how about some Swamp Buggy Eco-Tours? "Okay, ya'll be real quiet as we come up on these nesting birds, Now Punch it EARL! Waaaaaaaaomph!" Yeah, nothing like 500 horses to convince animals to go elsewhere for their mating needs (i.e. not having huge machines running flat out in three feet of water). Don't tell me that you weren't aware that Fort Myers, Florida is the global epicenter of swamp buggy racing(love the "alligator/dinosaur/iguana thing")? Where in the hell have you been? Don't you watch ESPN2 at 3 in the morning?

I had more than my fair share of revelations as I drove west while listening to the Giants open up a can of whoop ass in game five. Revelations about my dad, things that made me laugh, things I'll miss about him. Revelations about myself, things I need to get working on, finishing on, moving on. All that good stuff. Even started mapping the whole thing out too. Everybody has got to have goals, either make some up or go dig out your list you wrote five years ago. Don't let another five years go by before you do some of your goals.

And if you're starting a list, maybe you should include a few frivolous things like going skinny dipping in both oceans in the same week or eating nothing but bad food for three days or whatever it is that floats your boat or finds your lost remote (does anyone know what song that line is from?)

Me? I'm working on my list. After a nap.

Speed Post from the Road

Well time's a ticking down on my $3 investment into this airport Internet terminal as I'm making my way east to Florida and the uncertainty and sadness that awaits there.Three bucks for 12 minutes of internet time? Okay, I can live with that but they really should filter out the ads, dontcha think?

Anyway, more to come later as I write from the air. Lots on my mind, go figure.

Thanks to everyone who's sent well wishes and happy thoughts. I'm getting by and that's really all that we can ask isn't it?

Into the Tunnel

Well, not sure how much I'll be writing in here for the next week or so.
Bad news, my father passed away last Friday afternoon.

So far this has been an entirely new and unexpected experience.

And one observation I've had numerous times in the last couple of days. The world keeps right on going no matter how large or small the individual bumps are. The inertia of the universe is such that no thing, no event can stop it or even slow it down for an instant. My father was a great man, a man who lived life honestly and with excitement at being alive, one who always looked forward to each day.

He will be missed.

Words Cannot Express The Hatred

There are few things in the computing world that I dislike more than Microsoft. But one of them is definitely SPSS which is among the worst implementations of a good idea I've ever come across.
After it does ALL the work, we now have 25 steps minimum left before we can actually utiilize the data into our surveys. Its unbelievable the contortions we're forced to get into because SPSS is incapable of completing the job on its own.

And it gets even better when I've gotten damned near the end of the first one before finding out that, oh yeah, unlike everything else in SPSS, we have to put the multiple response question in the column or its all screwed up. So, next time I'm just going to climb under my desk and set fire to my nuts instead, it'll be less of a pain.

As Layne has been want to say quite often recently, fucking FUCK!

Instant Rant

Just Add Spam....
Is there ANYONE out there that wants hardcore fisting porn? What the hell is wrong with scumbags that spam millions of people with grotesque spam? These people need to get punched squarely in the face.
Absolutely unnecessary.
Now all I need is a way to convert the Telemarketing solution below to Spam and my life will be bliss.

Or maybe it should be He or She Who Stops the SPAM Will Control the World?

CNN.com - California autism rise confounds researchers - Oct. 18, 2002

Oh Boy, A Scratched Cornea? My Favorite

No, not really. I'm not one of those pain is pleasure kinds of people. And for those of you who have not scratched one of your eyes before, it sucks. With every blink of your eye, you are reminded of just how many nerve endings there are in your eye area, sore eyelids, sore eye muscles, sore red achy looking eyes. (NO, I'm not stoned, my eye's messed up, again).

And I'm starting to compile a list of things that I must have for this office space, one is some alternate lighting as the eight flourescent bulbs in the ceiling just ain't gonna cut it. And I get to hang my white boards today (oh yeah, I'm sooooo important I've got two white boards, one for main projects and one to keep me in line).

Off to see the wizard.
The 1st Ever Intellectual Poison Movie Review
Went and saw The Transporter last night, well yesterday afternoon with a buddy of mine who also hadn't seen it (unusual for him because he goes to the movies a fair amount).
Action scenes were excellent, as expected from John Woo (woops, got this one wrong, its not a Woo film, in fact its a Cory Yuen directed movie but definitely has the feel of a Woo film), who really, really, really likes bullet track scenery. Some became just a little outside my ability to believe but so what, movies are supposed to be bigger than life.
The heroine, Suc Qi (or something along those lines) is a new face to me but I'd predict she'll be back for more. She's gorgeous, has the requisite superb figure and actually has a pretty good sense of comic timing. The Transporter guy, Jason Statham (I think) is well sutied to the role, he tries to bring a McQueen cool to his character. Nothing really sets him until it REALLY sets him off.

Two thumbs up, well worth the price of entry even if the ending sort of comes up abruptly. The movie seems shorter than it is and I almost always take that for a good sign.

And I Put Smokey to Shame
I almost forgot about this in the glut of excitement from yesterday but while I was walking back from picking up a couple of burritos for lunch (the place I got them from makes them small but oooh so good) I saw some smoke or dust or something coming from a planter box in the little park on the corner. I almost walked by but it was increasing in volume and not decreasing so I walked over to take a look.

Just as I walked up, the smoke made the jump from smolder to flame on. And there were six inch flames already starting to spread some. One size 11 shoe later, all that was left were a couple of slightly smoldering cinders and some soot on my shoe. So I saved Santa Cruz yesterday.

And found (well refound) yet another reason to thoroughly hate smoking. Since yes, there was a cigarette butt in the middle of the mini-burn. But all's well that ends well (of course, that's bullshit but we'll get into that one later).

Killing Off Telemarketers

End Telemarketing Forever
Well, not really forever, until they come up with a means around this great little trick.
Its basically the same thing as the telezapper but you do it yourself and don't have to spend $50.
Only thing is that you need a way to get the sound from your computer into your answering machine.

Wish List for Givernment Check

I've been keeping notes on things that I could spend chunks of this essentially found money. Housemates had a few ideas, and the ex had a few ideas but I'm curious as to what readers might think.
To give you all an idea. Here are some of the ideas so far.
1. Sign the check over the givernment with a request that it be spent entirely on bullets to fight Iraq.
2. Buy the ex some wine glasses to go with her Noritake china.
3. Invest a chunk in the stock market which is incredibly undervalued right now.
4. Buy plane tickets home for Thanksgiving.
5. Skydiving over the Monterey Bay.
6. Upgrade mountain bike components/buy parts to build up my cruiser.
7. Take out a small loan to supplement this money and buy myself an old Porsche 914.
8. Other improvements to my home universe like shelving, furniture upgrades, etc. And I've been searching for a specific bed frame, its a Shaker style four poster queen sized bed with tapering square columns for posts (anyone know where I can find one?)

I'm sure there are way better, more altruistic things I could do with the money but guess what? I just don't really feel like it, I might donate some of it to a couple of worthy causes but toss up some input and let me know what you think should be done with it. And no, giving it to you just ain't gonna happen.

In News of the Bizarre

48-year-old woman gives birth to twins _ her own granddaughters this comes from SFGate and is among the most bizarre stories I've heard.

How messed up are these kids going to be later on when they figure out what all happened? Um, who's my mommy? Well, I am, dear. But you didn't give birth to me? No, dear, your grandmother gave birth to you. Then how are you my mother? Because, well, the eggs that were in me were fertilized and then put into my mother, your grandmother, because my insides don't work quite properly.
So, who's my mommy and who's my grandmother?
And to quote the above article or it might be Mark Morford's commentary in his Morning Fix on the article "On Thursday, Dunn gave birth to her twin granddaughters, Kaitlyn and Shelby, an event which is not exactly inbreeding and not really incest but would seem to have crepy icky overtones of both." Either way its an interesting way to start the day.

Other NewsWorthy News
Saddam Hussein won a tight election between himself and each and every voter who voted against him getting shot in the head. Seriously though, what IS the frigging point of an election where there's only one candidate? Why not have himself crowned prettiest dictator in the Middle East while he's at it? Does Saddam think he's actually fooling anyone? Or as Morford says in his take on the whole thing, they filled out their pre-punched ballots nicely, just like Florida (what? you mean there was an election fraud or two in THIS country? you mean Janet Reno should have won? and Al Gore should have won too? Wow, well done Jeb, two elections you "fixed" and you're still in power).

A Late Night Musing Back from the Ether

I love the idea that, given enough information and by that I mean all of it, there is no such thing as random as pertains to natural, i.e. non-sentient, events. It should be theoritically possible, given all the information, to determine wave patterns down to the way that the sunlight is reflected off the white, foamy caps. Now, does knowledge mean power in this instance, or more pointedly, does that mean that knowing these things makes a person on the same level as a god or the God? I must conclude that it does not and cannot and furthermore, it can't be used in any argumentation for the existence of God. Knowledge is not creation, it is merely having read the story about it in the news.

Absolute knowledge isn't attainable by humans, although we may possess the capacity to create a computer system that had the capacity to know everything. But there is an inherent paradox, how can one know everything all the time? Each instant creates an infinite or near infinite new set of events and actions and news that must also be known and learned and absorbed and reflected upon. But how can one reflect or have the time to reflect when each moment cascades fresh knowledge in an unceasing waterfall of life, of chemical, biological, natural and all other sorts of interactions?

I realize that this is merely an abstract construct because there is a direct impact on the universe by sentient (i.e. chaotic) elements, witness the whole in the ozone layer, global warming (though it appears to be accelerated by mankind, it is a natural process too), pollution and heck, just the body heat generated by 6 billion people. So, while its theoretically possible, the reality is that this can never come to pass because people do possess free will (or at least I think they do, some might argue otherwise and they're welcome to their opinions, click here for here for why).

Gratutious Link
Lotus mag is an interesting music mag to check out.

Salvation in M minor

Ahhh, sweet lord I have been delivered from another of Microsoft's evil devices. Its like a weight on my soul's been freed.
How you ask, how could it happen?
Netscape.
Netscape 7 (you can hear the drums, can't you?)
Why do I hate most of Microsoft's products?
Not because Bill Gates' empire was created out of an act of thievery.
But because they're just plain not as good.
They're slapped together and shipped out with a fixit later attitude that's almost rude.
So Goodbye lame Internet Explorer and hello Netscape, I'm glad they finally caught up and from what I've seen in using it for a little while, its almost perfect.
One less MS app. Can you see my smile?

Ah, what a day, what a day.

And tomorrow I get to see if I can get Netscape loaded up on my machine at work. Though I'll likely never cut the Microsoft tether completely there, its a PC whereas my home machine's a Mac (yes, for tons of reasons besides its not running Windows). Keep your fingers crossed.

One thing that I absolutely love about the new Netscape is the use of tabs inside windows. So that I can have my Ebay window open and then open auctions I want to look at inside the same window but in a different tab along the top. Maybe IE does this too, I've never bothered to try and find out. But the Netscape version is simple, quick and very, very useful.

And two bad things I've learned thus far. One, Netscape either cannot or will not display Amy's intellectual properties at all well, the main screen is blank and everything is in the skinny column on the left, makes for an interesting read. The other thing is that, like all other browsers, it can't quite sync perfectly with Blogger. Like every other browser I've used thus far, some changes automatically take place when I access the template. And since its based on Mozilla, it likes to strip html. In this, it likes to strip all the links to Regular Clicks, Blogs and Other Spots. And that is not an insignificant issue. One I'll have to keep in mind.

But I can live with the minor foibles if it lets me reduce my dependence on crappy MS-ware!

Who Says the Givernment's ALL Bad?

What better way to wrap up a lovely day in paradise but to come home to a big ole' fat juicy check from the Employment Development Department. And yes, I do mean Givernment in this instance.
Because I was out of work, oh, eight months ago, they're hitting me up with and adjustment now? Um, okay, that'll work.

And its been a good day in lots of other ways too so all the way around I'm in about as good a mood as I could be without getting naked and sweaty. But I might get myself a workout in later on too, What? What were you filthy minded people thinking?

Yeah, yeah, so was I.

The Ex's Wedding and Why
Got a good long chat with my ex, which was cool. She sent me some wedding pics and yep, she looked awesome. Some of you might be wondering why I wasn't there in person. Well, let's see, I was invited and did RSVP but when it came time to go I realized that one of my primary motivations for going wasn't to witness her vows and all that good stuff like see her, her family (which would have been mixed bag of fun and suck) and some other people I know up there. My main motivation for going had kind of morphed on me into running into one guy and pretty much kick the fucking shit out of him (note: not her fiance, who's an excellent guy from all accounts, just freakishly tall).

Now, I am not a violent person and I like to think that most of my decisions are based on reason and logic and all those other mature words. But there are some people that deserve to get their asses kicked for what they've done. Heck, some people deserve to be put to death for what they've done. But no, this guy just needs an ass kicking, however, her wedding was most definitely not the time or place for it. And I knew that I would have been unable to control myself if I came anywhere near him again.

Besides, he isn't worth going to jail for and I would have gotten arrested for beating him like the filthy hunk of shit he is. I don't want to get into the reasons why he deserves it but believe me, he truly deserves it. In fact, he should be castrated and left to bleed out on the pavement. And I do not make a pronouncement like that very often, and even more rarely do I mean it.

Hmm, might have some unresolved issues there, eh?

Oh well, one of the other reasons that it was kind of cool to have a call waiting from her tonight was the serendipity of a call from an old landlord and my present landlard. The old landlord had some mail for my ex that was marked as urgent which was strange since she never lived there and I haven't lived there in almost four years. And the last time my old landlord called me was well over a year ago. Just kind of an interesting confluence of coinincidents, eh? Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, I did have a good day even if the call made me dredge up shitty memories. It looks to be wrapping up nicely.

Redial, Refresh, Redial, Refresh

Aaaah, the joys of trying to get some tickets to the World Series next week when the Giants return north from playing down south.

For those who don't know (not those who don't care), the Giants' World Series tickets went on sale at 10 this morning and its been completely and utterly impossible to get through either by phone or on the web. So it looks like though this'll be the closest World Series in a while, I won't be attending.

Anybody out there got a spare ticket and want to make my month? Drop me a note.

Update on Giants Tickets
Well lots of mad redialing and refreshing amounted to, well, nothing. No connect and no tickets and all 5000 tickets for each game (or 7500 as I've also heard) are almost certainly gone. Might still try more later no in the day but it looks like I'll be watching the series on TV.

Extremely Disturbing Search

I just checked my SiteMeter numbers before I pack it in for the night and three things struck me. One, today's has seen more visitors to Intellectual Poison than any other day before and that's pretty awesome.
Two, one of them should never be allowed to use a computer again. The SiteMeter referal search that they found my web log with was for California Childporn. Anybody looking for childporn should be swiftly castrated, dirty filthy buggers. And third, I don't like the fact that someone came to my web log because they thought that they would find child porn here. That's sickening.

Quick note to any freaks looking for dirty pics here, they don't exist. I don't post those here or anywhere. The web is filled with porn, go find it elsewhere. And no way, no how would there EVER be child porn on this or any other site that I've got any modicum of control over. Not on my home computer, not on my work computer, not anywhere. Purveyors of child pornography are mentally ill and should be removed from society.

And now I'll probably have awful dreams because of it. Thanks, faceless surfer from ENMU.edu (which I have just realized is Eastern New Mexico University most likely), I hope you burn in whatever hell does exist or that you live in North Dakota or some bumfuck backwater, you lowlife.

Some Entertaining Dirt on Maaaawtha

The Dish on Martha is a long article dealing with Martha Stewart and how her neighbors view her (hint, its not nice).

Excellent smut on the Fashion Nazi! Well worth a read!

Other Marketing Garbage
I just saw among the most awful stereotyped commercial that was just plain terrible. Fade in to a suburban housewife type, slightly uptight and looking a little guilty. And she says, "I've been racing vacuums underground for about a year now" and then the commercial goes to some seedy looking underground area with dirty carpets and some chickie with a regular vacuum cleaner (our girl's got a bagless speed demon or some such). Whatever, it was lame and stupid and puts the people squarely into their tiny little pigeon holes.

Addendum:
Item T-17624 on QVC is the Barbie Sparkle n Style Electronic Vacuum. And is a nasty, pre-training tool created by a patriarchy to condition little girls into a specified and understoof stereotype. The flipping thing was even pink. Can you say lame? Yeah, I thought you could. What child, male or female, would want a vacuum for a toy? Its just not fun to play like "mommy", its sad. And no, I don't watch QVC but I do channel surf quite a bit and its one I was passing through when I saw this crap.

Porn Publisher Pushes Blue Cell Phones in UK

Isn't it amazing that technology's real use is to enable people to get their rocks off? That's the import of advances, another way to market sex to people?

The thing about this article that strikes me as strange is why do they call it a "blue cell phone"? Isn't the color of sex supposed to be red? I mean that's what nature has decreed so why the blue? If I were feeling sarcastic (and when am I not?) then I might make rude comparisons to our own red light districts for our prostitution whereas in the UK all they have are blue ball districts. Or something along those lines.

But really, do people want to get horny SMS (Short Message Service) messages while they're on the subway coming home from work? Who wants to sprout some wood on the bus? Its just plain peculiar and another idea most likely cooked up under the influence of some altercant (a word I just invented, by the way). Not to mention the fact that men, by and large, (who are almost certainly the target market but set me straight if I'm crazy here) are visually stimulated and not so stimulated by written text.

Monday Afternoon Odor Attack

Yes, this is a post pretty well for one person who I won't embarass by calling out here. But this is about yesterday when we had a fun IM chat that included some harmless and fun flirting, . Anyway, during a long traffic heavy drive she'd daydreamed about me a little and was wondering what my scent was like.

And lo and behold, I found out yesterday afternoon. Somehow, in my haste to make the run to work I forgot to put on deodorant (yea, I went European for the day) and damned if I'm not a smelly bastard by the end of the day, go figure. Maybe it was whatever food I ate yesterday but I was ripe. Not that I really care all that much but I thought it was funny nonetheless.

Maybe I should qualify that last remark about not caring. I do care when something I do or fail to remember to do impacts another person. But, as long as its just me, I don't mind being a little stinky or sweaty or unkempt (which is a damned fabulous word) or not shaving. Why should I? Its just me, myself and I and I'm already well familiar with all the noxiousness this physical frame can generate (well more or less, I've never been really, really sick and dealt with all those nasty goos and fluids that serious illness can generate). An ex used to call it The Scrounge when she'd go to work in, essentially, pajamas and her hair pulled back into a pony tail instead of showering and getting done up. And why not?

Sometimes you've gotta show the world what happens when you don't really care to look your best so that when you do look good, you look really good. Or something like that. I don't know, I just thought it was kind of ironic (or what my understanding of irony is, its been pointed out to me that I'm using it incorrectly, oh well).

Microsoft Shows Its Retardo Spurs................Again!

Or Yet Another REALLY Bad Marketing Idea from Redmond
With an apology to the handicapped because its an insult to compare them to Microsoft.
But here's a great story that must be passed along.
MS Pays Mac User to Switch. Which, on the face of it, is a stupid idea that they went ahead with anyway and then pulled the ad very quickly because someone forgot to take their stupid pills and realized that NOBODY is dumb enough to think that this journalist switched of her own accord. MS admitted paying her to do it, didn't even use her real picture and the recognized what an utterly stupid marketing tactic they were trying to employ.

Here's the excerpt:

Microsoft: Yup, we paid writer to dump her Mac days after posting an ad from a self-described Mac-to-PC convert on its web site, Microsoft has issued a mea culpa. The computing giant apparently paid a freelance writer to pen the ad, which was similar in style to Apple�s PC-to-Mac ads that flooded the market in June. While Microsoft maintains that the account is true, it admits soliciting the testimonial and using a stock photograph instead of a picture of the woman. �Windows XP gives me more choices and flexibility and better compatibility with the rest of the computing world,� the woman is quoted. Microsoft yanked the ad Monday, calling it a judgment error. Apple had no comment. The ad first aroused questions because of the formal tone of the �convert.� The Apple ads have struck a folksy note with their delivery, but the Microsoft ad used geek-speak like �I wouldn�t know how to function without the track changes and comments features of Word.�
also at News.com

Well done, Mr Gates! When you can't provide better equipment, better software or better marketing just buy 'em all off. That's an excellent business model!

Big thanks to Esther for sending the story over to me. I'd link to her blog but she (shudder) doesn't have one that I know about yet.
Oh yeah, I've also got some fresh pics to load up and will get them going before the day's out, I think.

Other News: Politics
Dismantle the constitution is a news story link I came across on ozten (which has among the best political posters I've yet come across, I've got a copy up in my office) talking about the recent vote in the House to allow George-the-W-stands-for-Warmonger-Bush to wage what amounts to an oil interest war against Iraq propped up by vague assertions of a weapons build up in Iraq. I'm all for punishing Saddam if he's truly guilty of harboring terrorists and generating weapons of mass destruction. BUT, going against UN resolutions and interests basically says to the entire world, "Fuck you, we're the world's superpower and that means that we can pretty well do as we please and that means making sure that precious black gold (some might call it Texas Tea) keeps flowing." Which is essentially the dumbest thing we could do. But then, what do I know, I'm not a millionaire fat headed Texan (sorry Kims) in charge of making my drinking buddies rich while sacrificing any good standing that America has with the rest of the world.

The Giants Win, The Giants Win and the Next Stop is the World
Series!

Yup, that about says it all but who could stop there?
I know I cannot and will not (and regular visitors to the blog should know that I cannot).
Last night was almost a San Francisco sports nirvana moment with the Giants securing their first playoff birth since the ill-fated Bay Series back in 1989. Do people remember that World Series? Even the non sports types because it was the first championship series disrupted by a large earthquake? Or because the A's swept the Giants in four games?

Either way, let's all hope there's no repeat of either event.

In Other News
There will be a final chapter added to the Saga of the Cat That Pooped Too Much that I'm working on. And much more in the works, its just a question of time to tap them out.

Awww Yeah, Gimme Them SuperPowers!

Hero Machine is a sweet and fun place to spend some time creating your own version of a superhero, fantasy character or sports hero. Its a great fun spot to mess around with.

Much thanks to Carlene at the incredibly coolly named Stiletto Philosophy for the link and the props to Intellectual Poison on her blog. She's got all kinds of goodies on her home page right now, like create your own Lego character or SouthPark character. Good fun stuff and all she asks is that if you create a little you then leave a comment on her page so she can check it out. I've got one superhero completed but they don't allow you to save just the pic of the character so it has to be a screenshot. And I'll get it fixed up and posted as soon as I can.

Rock on Carlene! And I could use those superpowers tonight as its going to be icy cold by the bay. Need me a flame on power or something!

To see my newly created superhero click here.

Quick Update on my Dad

I've not been writing very much about my father lately because he'd been in a bit of a holding pattern since the last major scare a few weeks ago.
But I did get some bad news about him last week and it should be shared as I know there are a few people out there who read this and have been wondering how he's been doing.

Unfortunately, his cancer has spread to two new systems in his body and he's begun a fairly aggressive round of chemo and beamo to try and catch it before it continues its cellular wildfire. I don't have a whole lot of info about the particulars and as I get them I will try to pass them on through the blog. But another reason I've not written about my Dad for a little while is that I'm trying to get by without letting his illness debilitate me, it would be too easy and against his wishes to allow the weight of the news and prognosis to thump me into a shallow depression in the ground.

I love my father dearly but am also aware that we are all finite creatures and that our time is both limited and nearly always has a surprise ending. I know its not his time yet but it is one of those things that I've been thinking about an awful lot. And no, I don't think I'll be ready for him to pass on, not at all. It will suck as only the irrevocable can.

Ever an Excellent Read

Not sure how many folks have clicked through to mecawilson or not but if you have have not then you most certainly should. He writes incredibly well and is funny in ways I only wish I could be.

Well worth a daily read, Today's post is about going to Church on Sundays during football season.

Awesome stuff!

Dang, after a whole weekend of few posts and not much activity I can't seem to stop posting more and more and more and more stuff to the web log today. I guess it just builds up and must come out somehow, somewhere. Maybe I should create another blog just for the overflow?

HUGE Meat Recall

And I thought it was going to be a slow news day but check out SF Gate: Pilgrim's Pride, they're recalling something like 27 MILLION pounds of cooked sandwich meat. Twenty seven million pounds! That's 27,000,000 pounds of meat! Because it might be (and I'm guessing its a pretty significant might be) contaminated by the listeria bacteria.

Best to avoid the turkey sandwich at lunch today, eh?

More Funky Search Findings

Apparently I've got something to do with lemur pinatas now because that's how someone got to the blog this morning. That and searching for Hairy Faced Women seems to bring people to Intellectual Poison as well. How peculiar.

Other searches make some sense like, pyschological effect of commericials and Naked Girls on Hondas (well maybe not but I had to post it anyway). I should write an essay on the pyschological basis of search engines and how they're often a peek behind the veil of the id. People think they're anonymous searches but they really aren't. The most fundamental fact of the internet and the computer age is that anything, literally anything, you do online is recorded somewhere and usually by three or four computers at least, probably more. There is no such thing is anonymous on the internet, so consider that before you send out that email blasting your boss for something stupid they did.

It can all come back to bite you in the ass. As I'm sure, eventually, this web log itself will come back to bite me in the ass. And on that note I will now attempt to apply myself to the pile of work on my desk. Doesn't everybody just adore Mondays?

At least there's some good sports on tonight, Giants in game five of the NLDS (that's National League Divisional Series for those unencumbered by caring about sports) and then the Forty Niners play the Seattle Seahawks. And there might just be some hockey on later too, though I don't want to watch any more Sharks games until they've signed Nabokov and gotten him in goal.

A Question To My Readers
Recently I got an email from a very good friend (a very good looking, smart and funny woman) who was complaining about being unable to pick up even a decent one night stand guy this weekend. It made me wonder how hard it is for peoples out there on the net without significant others to go out and get some. Sure, this comes off as shallow but I'm curious as I'd assumed that women can get laid pretty much anytime they want to. But the assumption there is that any sex is better than no sex and I know that's totally untrue. (ed.s note: this last sentence is intended to mean that yes, there are times when you can easily pick up some schmoe for a slap and tickle but its often more trouble than its worth).

So the question is this. How often have you single folks out there gone out with the sole intention of picking someone up for the night and not found anyone suitable at all or have been shot down at all attempts? And ended up going home alone, frustrated and horny?

Yeah, yeah, work. Yup, getting right on it.

Did No One See This Coming?

Warning, politico post ahead, take action accordingly.
Well it looks like the Al-Queda is ramping up again with the latest attack in Bali, killed 187 people at last count but its sure to go up (the news report felt compelled to point out that they were mostly Australians as if that makes things better).
There's such a crazy web of intrique and incest around this whole terror insanity that I don't really know which end is up anymore. Would we be better off if Saddam was dead? Would it solve anything or would it just cost the US a tremendous amount of cash to keep the country from dissembling into warring factions quickly?

My inclination is to believe the latter.
But that doesn't get us any closer to a solution, which, and I think it bears saying here, I'm not quite sure that that is what our
esteemed leaders in the government either expect or desire. War galvanizes a populance, it makes people accept rationing, it elevates patriotism and, for the smaller minded, we get to pay those terrorist bastards back for what they did to us a little more than a year ago. Now, I know it was Osama and not Saddam but that doesn't mean that people across America and the world aren't equating the two. Kill Saddam and they think that the war itself will fizzle out. But it won't. It will be like dropping a torch into a powder keg. And things will get bad quickly.

Anyway, I don't know why I woke up with war on the brain. It won't be there for long, too many other concerns and issues rearing their ugly little heads.

But this I DO know. We, myself and my housemates, have a place to live for another year (assuming we can continue to pay the rent and all that other good stuff) but its a good thing. Our landlady's been really very cool lately, especially for not raising our rent after having dropped some major coin into the sewage system. And I also know that I'd like to crawl back into bed for another few hours instead of making an early morning run to PG&E before heading into work. Oh yeah, and I must shave this morning. I'm about 12 hours from the whiskers mutinying and making me itch like mad so they must go.
And I'm sure that was impactful and insightful.

Pics for Kicks

Recent pic, just for kicks. And there might be more to follow.
And yes, that counts as fair warning.

Being One's Own Worst Enemy

I suppose that we all know this is true on some level or another. It has to be. No way could some external entity push our buttons as well as we push our own. We are the voice in our ear as we attempt to drift off to sleep, whispering failures and attempts never taken. Nobody outside of us can know so much, can be so insistent.
No voice can tear away at the strength of ego, the fiber of the esteem and leave a husk as easily as one's own internal editor or maybe that should be iditor?

Illegal Art Just Must Be More Interesting

The illegal-art.org is a compilation of some artwork that's inspired litigation. Audio, video and visual sections filled with quite interesting, engaging and entertaining inquiries into the sorts of things that get Big Businesses pissed off enough to sic their cadres of lawyers against artists. There are some interesting pieces exhibited and if I were going to be in New York or Chicago during the run then I might go.
The exhibition is called Illegal Art: Freedom of Expression in the Corporate Age and shows run
November 13 - December 6 | New York, January 25 - February 21 | Chicago. Go to the link for more info.
One of the cool things they also do is give away the mp3 compilation cd on the site. And yes, it contains illegal art that's clearly marked, download as far as your ethical code allows.
STAY FREE'S ILLEGAL ART COMPILATION CD

Now this has got to be one of the coolest things I've come across in a while. Want to see how nonsensical your carefully crafted words become when translated at speed through five different languages? Check out Super Translate or MultiBabel. Much thanks to MeFi for the link on the homepage, my first exploration there and it yeilded excellent results instantly. A positive harbinger.

Here's a quick sample:
Original English Text:
To know her is to want her which is the same as needing her and that need drives man to quite stupid actions.

Translated to French:
La conna�tre est de la vouloir ce qui est identique qu'ayant besoin d'elle et de cet homme d'entra�nements du besoin aux actions tout � fait stupides.

Translated back to English:
To know is to want it what is identical that needing it and this man of drives of the need to the completely stupid actions.

Translated to German:
Zu wissen ist, es zu w�nschen, was identisch ist, da�, es und diesen Mann der Antriebe der Notwendigkeit ben�tigend die vollst�ndig dummen T�tigkeiten.

Translated back to English:
To know is to wish it what it is identical that, it and this man of the drives of the necessity needing the completely stupid activities.

Translated to Italian:
Sapere � di desiderarlo che cosa � identico che, esso e questo uomo degli azionamenti della necessit� che ha bisogno delle attivit� completamente stupid.

Translated back to English:
Knowledge is to wish it that what is identical that, it and this man of the drives of the necessity that has need of the activities completely stupid.

Translated to Portuguese:
O conhecimento deve desej�-lo que o que � id�ntico que, ele e este homem das movimenta��es da necessidade que tem a necessidade das atividades completamente stupid.

Translated back to English:
The knowledge must desire it that what he is identical that, it and this man of the movements of the necessity that has the necessity of the activities completely stupid.

Translated to Spanish:
El conocimiento debe desearlo que cu�l �l es id�ntico que, �l y este hombre de los movimientos de la necesidad que tiene la necesidad de las actividades totalmente est�pidas.

Translated back to English:
The knowledge must wish the one that which it is identical who, he and this man of the movements of the necessity that has the necessity of the totally stupid activities.

The Job Review That Wasn't

But Its Cool

Well this may not make any sense until I can come back and clean it up later but I just had an informal job review and things are peachy. Informal because the review's supposed to be at a year and I'm only at 8 months in (damn but that went quickly!).

And I may just end up with some office space of my own out of the whole thing so that means I won't have to wear pants at work anymore, double YEEHA! I'll try to pump this post up a bit more later but I've gotta get back to my pretty little charts and graphs.

Other Itterata
Came up with a semi decent name for a band, Phucker. Or Puck Her, depending on musical styles or something.

Today's Quote: One of my All Time Favorites
Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
- -- Aristotle

I can remember this from my sophomore year in college taking ethics with Nancy Brown at Cabrillo and hearing her read this passage. It is among my favorite quotes for good reason because it makes a powerful argument in a couple of sentences that should serve to propel people to greater efforts to improve themselves. Those old Greek dudes were pretty flipping brilliant, so long as you can look past the whole buggery thing but that's another story for another time.

New Web Poll

This has been a question of mine lately as I channel flip at night from bad commercial to worse commercial. Who's the most irritating public personality? And let me know if I missed someone who should be up here.








In Microsoft Sucks News
According to Mark Morford's latest Morning Fix email covering news from SFGate, Microsoft has published the finding of its 58th bug (or unexploited features as some like to call them) this year so far. That's more than 1 a week. And they're against open source software development why?

And God Said "Lo, There Shall be A Website and Belief-o-Matic to Aid My Children in Finding Me"

Yea, or something along those lines.
Beliefnet.com has a Belief-o-matic for people to figure out which religion is the one that most jibes with your beliefs.

Apparently I'm intended to be a unitarian universalist, whatever that means. Strangely, the wanks in Scientology came up at 58% and there's absolutely zero chance I'd ever have anything to do with those fools (why? read this post). Thanks, as always, to intellectual properties for the connect.

Welcome to a Pissy Little Friday

Well joy and fuck yous. (I should explain that a little, its a bad play on a song title by Ziggy Marley called Joy and Blues but I wasn't in a joyous mood this morning so there ya go).
God damned but I'm getting tired of doing these stupid charts and data manipulation by hand. Isn't this one of the main reasons we've got computers? To do the tedious stuff for us? One small investment in software development would yield one giant leap forward in ability to produce quality end product.

But putting money in before its absolutely required goes against the cocktail napkin biz plan we're working from.
And I can't even truly rant properly because I'm not all that convinced that work related folks aren't poking in and reading up on the blog. Of course, I can't know for sure but its one of those spider sense things. A twinge from a muscle you didn't know you had.

Back to SPSS.

A Biker in NorCal: The Final Entry into the Bike Posts

My next bike was my first one I bought after moving to California in 1995. It was a mickey moused, race thrashed but still faster than slicked biscuits Suzuki Katana 600. Beat up, beaten back together and dangerous but very, very fast and fun to ride. Nothing like feeling your front wheel get light when you're already going almost 70. A scary fast bike that I did possibly the most insane thing I've ever done on.

Highway 17, for those who don't know it, is the main artery that connects Santa Cruz with Silicon Valley. It is a 20 some odd mile highway of dips, twists, turns and hairpins that is a sport bikers delight. Now add in one of those fabulous El Nino style winter storms of sideways rain and gusts of harsh wind. Now imagine some asshole trucker thinking it was fun to fuck with me at 70 miles an hour. By the time I got home not a single inch of me was dry but I was alive.

Bikes out here need protection and my next two bikes were big old Kawasaki Concours ZG1000's. Huge shaft driven sport touring bike that looks like a sedate cruiser but runs more than 110 horses and can smoke anything with four wheels. But they are nearly fully protected with big windscreens and fairings to coax the wind around the rider. Very comfortable for runs up to San Francisco or to my girlfriend who lived in the East Bay (87 miles door to door the shorter slow way, 97 the faster long way and my personal record of 75 minutes due to over eager hormones). Not sexy but completely servicable and durable without needing much in the way of maintenance.

And that brings us to my current bike, my little SV650S by, guess who, Suzuki. I rarely ride with groups because they go too slow or too fast (some guys are truly insane in addition to being superb riders). My favorite route is up Highway 9 to Highway 35 or Skyline Boulevard (much better, eh?) which runs into La Honda (with Alice's Restaurant and Ken Kesey's old stomping grounds adding flavor for the hundreds of bikers who show up every weekend. From La Honda, up Skyline to the crossover back road, 152, I think that runs out to Half Moon Bay. Follow it along until the left turn south onto Highway 1 comes up. Rip it up and tear down the coast, hopefully with setting sun as dramatic effect but usually with bone chilling marine layer fog.

Now that's a great way to wind up a fun day out on the road.

Future bikes? Sure I could get into those but not right now. I'm working on a reasonably complete gallery of vehicles but not all that hard. It'll get up before the end of the world, maybe.

And now, I head back to those joyously ridiculous charts and graphs and the thirty different stupid little steps that have to done on each and every one of these poorly formatted data sets. Oh boy, can I? You sure can! And don't worry about finishing them up because there's another full set that's gotta be finished by Tuesday. Thanks! I never would have been able to get through the day without more cross tabs to do.

Painless Goodness

The Child Health Site : Help a Child in Need Lead a Healthy, Active Life is about the easiest and newest way to help out without having to get up off your butt and actually do something beyond clicking your mouse. How cool is that?

While on Future Plans

Here's a cool short history of adventure racing. One of those things I want to do before all the sins of youthful stupidity fully catch up with me and I'm wheel chair bound. Which hopefully won't be too quick in coming.

Amy over at intellectual properties got me thinking about this stuff with her post.

I had a list somewhere of things to get accomplished by certain dates but I've no idea where it is now. Which means that perhaps its a good idea to start a new one?

From the Basement Lab News

Safe sex and a slice? is a news article about lemon juice's ability to stave off pregnancy and AIDS.

Well now, this makes for an interesting image, apparently scientists have discovered (or rediscovered) the use of lemon juice as a contraceptive and it also kills the AIDS virus. But they forgot to mention that it also leaves vaginas clean and fresh smelling too.

The image I've got from this is of masses of women putting little lemon scented sponges into their coochies before sex. Not to mention the pucker (a word I absolutely love to use for some reason, maybe because it rhymes with so much?) effect on the act of intercourse. How bizarre. I wonder if limes have the same effect? Um yep, thanks to EB for pointing it out, although I should note that I did read most of this one but passed over that particular paragraph so I AM improving!

There's Got to be a Morning After

Yeah, yeah, I stole my tag line from last night's South Park rerun. But it truly is appropriate this morning. My triumph for the day? Yep, I went to sleep before midnight last night for the first time in like 6 months. I actually got enough sleep last night! Didn't get enough other stuff taken care of but that's okay. Now we'll see how hard today is to stay conscious while making pretty little charts and graphs.

And there's a job review brewing somewhere. Gotta get my ammo lined up for that. Oh boy!

Today's Quote:
The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.- -- Joseph Joubert

In New Plateau News

Wow, yesterday ended up being a pretty decent day for blog visitors as Intellectual Poison not only passed the 3000 visitor mark, it smashed right through it. And it looks like someone from Adelphia was the 3000th visitor, could it be that Sara gets 1000 and 3000? No real way to tell but its possible. And not all that interesting to anyone except for me.

CapeTown Bikes and My First Two Getoffs

The next bike I owned was a couple of years later when I had moved overseas for a little while. I was in CapeTown and had to travel through some fairly rough parts of town before 5 in the morning. So I bought a Honda CB500 Bushman which was loads of fun to ride when it decided to run. And it hated, hated, hated rain.

Somehow I was able to weasel enough extra cash together while making the equivalent of $300 a month at a down town fitness club to buy a much better little toy. I got myself a Suzuki Katana 550 that had been torn down and rebuilt by an insane Afrikaaner and I bought it nearly sight unseen because I adored the way it looked (dark night, no mechanic to check it over, typical purchase pattern for me). It was a sick bike, most of the body was black with grey or silver highlights and a red pillion (that's passenger seat). Here, hold on, oh well, the pictures pages don't seem to want to work. But holy smokes, what a fast little bike this thing turned out to be, especially with the 95 octane leaded gas they ran back then. The looked menacing as hell and was lightning quick on the mountain and canyon (everyone say Kloof in Afrikaans) roads. The only thing that sucked about that bike was that I went down on it, twice. The first time due to mechanic error and ended up suffering some burns on my inner thigh and an inch square chunk of skin gone from my ankle.
The second get off was a bit more drastic and damaging. It was on New Years Eve 1992. I was heading out of CapeTown from a bar where I'd had an afterwork drink with pals from work. No, I was not drunk, no I was not impaired.

But as I zipped along the low road through the Point towns (Green Point, Moiulle Point) towards the far end of Sea Point where I lived. In Green Point they have two lanes on each side of the street, a-looking-for-parking lane on the left (remember they drive on the opposite side of the street there) and a passing-through lane on the right. I was out near the center line when some nimrod old man in a Nissan pulls into the passing-through lane and is about to make an illegal u-turn. Only thing is that he did it right in front of me, with his brakes on hard.
I swerved as hard and as best I could but still tagged his rear bumper wth a good 12 inches left to go before I was clear.

I hit things on my way over the bars and over the trunk of the car. First impact was balls to gas tank, imagine a near perfectly rectangular bruise across my thighs and nuts and pecker. Now imagine severe nausea for a day and a half. Right knee tagged right handlebar on my moonshot, probably did some damage to it but not enough to warrant more surgery. I rolled in the air but not quite enough to come back to my feet, I landed on my ass (right ass cheek thank you) and produced a new one on me, a blood plate on one of my butt cheeks, press the bottom and the top sticks out. Haha, now quit it.

Lots of stories around that whole deal too. Like the cops taking me home and checking back in on me two days later just after I'd gotten really quite stoned. But they didn't care. There's the immediate after the accident scene where I tore my helmet (whew!) off and screamed blasphemies at the stupid old man. Here's your image, me, an American with a very, very loud set of vocal cords (ask anyone who knows me and they'll agree), some new wounds, my fun toy smashed (oh the bike took the accident very badly and never rolled again) and my balls in denial.

Sad to say that I never got another bike while I was in South Africa. It is definitely one of my wishes to return and do some serious touring.

The Onion's got a great new funny stat shot going right now called Top-Selling Executive Gifts.
Far and away the best gift on the list is the final one, number 7 is Asshole polish. Nice, eh?

In Obtuse Crypticism Anniversary News
Six years ago today, at a Jimmy Buffett concert in Mountain View.

A Competition for Why China Totally Sucks?

Now, I've not dug into this one at all yet but it seems like it might be pretty entertaining to take part in. Culled from this morning's Morning Fix in SF Gate.

The Why China Totally Sucks Poetry Competition.
Nope, its actually the first even Miss Tibet Beauty Contest. Dang, I've gotta read more than just the first line of an article. A strange activity from a country being severely oppressed by China. What a bizarre world. A swimsuit competition that's closed to the public and only 5 of 30 original entrants left, the rest gave up due to policatical pressure.

That's right, you gotta fight, for your right, to walk a catwalk and say what you would do about about world hunger. And yes, this is a pretty sad commentary on what's important and what's not. But then I think beauty pageants in general are kind of sad and pathetic, strangely, in the same kind of way that I think strip clubs are for losers (bachelor parties excepted, I'm talking about the guys that go to strip clubs regularly). But then, I'm a jaded bastard so what do I really know?

And in Other News

Geek Toys: MicroCar Smackdown

Bound to happen, I got one of these little cars about a week and a half ago and its a blast to play with!
I want to get a couple more and have races in the house.

But now all the auctions on Ebay are going to go right through the flippin' roof!

Another Milestone Fast Approaches

Well, just checked my happy little SiteMeter and saw that I could possibly break the 3000 visitor mark which is pretty cool.
I'll have to have a reasonable day of traffic to hit it today but that's alright. Its already been a good day because of the new music I've got in the iPod today! Thanks to Tool Band Girl, intellectual properties and Plain Layne for their part in expanding my musical horizons.
So who's going to be the 3000th visitor? Probably someone looking for more pics of Maria Bartiromo naked pics (they don't exist here) or Batting Stance Pics or Zimbardo Experiment Pics (ooooh, I wish I did have some of those!). But the hands down winner for freakish search engine hit is intellectual properties for her, naked girls who can't make it to the toilet. No really. Google Search of Said Freakishness.

Its all good, whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote.

Of All the Cars (and Motorcycles) I've Loved Before

I've realized in talking with people that, over the course of my driving career, I've probably owned more than 15 cars and at least 7 or 8 motorcycles. That seems like a lot. Had to break this into multiple posts. Another installment tomorrow.

Lots of VW's for a variety of reasons. Cheapness and utility in the snow being two big ones. I think five Rabbits at last count and three Scirocco's (one new style and two smaller old style coupes). Several Hondas, a few Subarus, one Buick Skylark (a truly horrifically awful machine) and a big on the inside Saturn which I hated moments after buying but ended up owning for more than a year.

Motorcycles were an interesting lot. Seeing as how my mother thought that I would almost certainly kill myself on a motorcyle, I wasn't allowed to own one until after I left home. Something I think, in retrospect, wasn't a great idea. Let's see, the first thing I was able to somehow talk her into was a scooter, a Honda Aero 125 (or 150, I can't recall exactly). Whatever the final displacement, it was a stupidly fast little machine, stupid because its small wheels made it more susceptible to junk in the road and the wide platform was easier to catch in a corner. But I never dumped it.

Unless you count the time I ran it into a friend's car, sort of on purpose. Hey, I was 16.

One of my pal, Jeff's, favorite games was to trade vehicles, my Aero for his Suburban and go play tag in the neighborhoods around school. And somehow, through all of this I managed to A. not kill any of my friends accidentally and B. not horribly maim myself in the process either.
This is the same Jeff that has the cabin (what much, much later became my refuge for a while) where we spent a summer destroying a Subaru and a Ford Fiesta by jumping them (ever see a Subaru 6 feet in the air?) over a dam run off.

Anyway, the Aero was the first and I had loads of fun bombing around on the back roads of Vermont and New Hampshire. The thing got astounding mileage which was important back then, that and it went nearly 60 miles per hour which was about 20 mph too fast for the platform but I didn't care at the time.

After the Aero there was a short lived Kawa 350, barely got a chance to ride it at all.
Next up was a great fun Yamaha DT400 ancient two stroke while I lived in Arizona. A blast to ride utterly shitfaced (oh wait, Um kids don't try this at home, it was a long time ago and a different social climate) up and down the railroad tracks in a t-shirt, shorts and moccasins. Helmets? Yeah, I had one but what was the point of wearing one, I was still immortal then. And never went down then or when I traded up to a little Suzuki GS450 twin that set off car alarms all the time because it was so freaking loud.

That's enough for now, there's plenty more but why over whelm readers? More to come tomorrow.

Sporting News

With an apologetic bow to intellectual properties I'm compelled to get into some talk about the recent first round of the Major League Baseball playoffs.

It seems that the San Francisco Baseball Giants have triumphed in their quest to get out of the first round of the playoffs by beating the Atlanta Braves. And Barry Bonds Sparkles as Giants March Into NLCS. How joyous is that? Well it'll be a dim memory if the gravy train doesn't continue for a little while longer against the Cards.

But yes, Barry Bonds is having, by far, his best postseason ever. And it may be enough to help carry the Giants past the Cards to the World Series. Which won't include either team from last year. Damn, that was sooooo sweet to watch the Yankees fade away. And then to have the Diamondbacks do the same. Love it!

And it ought to be an interesting World Series no matter how it gets sliced up. The Cards with their emotional season, the Twins with their nose thumbing at Bud Selig for trying to contract them out of the league season, the Angels for their nobody believed in us but ourselves season and then the Giants with thier, if only a couple breaks went our way we'd win it all season.

And it was a good week for fantasy football, both squads won their matches. And my hockey draft went pretty well overall, got both Owen Nolan and Teemu Selanne again but with several other big time players too like Chris Pronger, Joe Sakic and Brian Rolston. Only thing is that I've got a light goalie so maybe I'll work on an upgrade there. Not that anybody really cares, but I do.

Oh yeah, and I scored some points on Yahoo's Survivor Pick'Em. Yeeha! Now all I've got to do is start winning games of Literati. Been going through a bad run there. (Note, played some Literati last night and scored big points on a couple of words to run away with the victory!)

Why? Why Not?

Do I need an excuse if I feel like rhyming?
Do I have to submit to another's timing?
I felt like making up silly poetry
And put on the blog to give it away free.
Is it lame, is it a waste
Yep, probably but get a taste
It won't hurt too bad
Though it could make you mad
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
But that's not a line I've ever said.
Just breaking down walls and kicking in doors
Sometimes perception's doors are filled with bores.
Telling you why you'll fail
When all they ever do is flail
Against a system that's given them up
Like spare change in a homeless man's cup.
What's that line I heard one time?
Minds are like parachutes
They only work when they're open?

Mind Buster
Break out of your mind
See what you might find
On the other side
of the great divide.
Take a trip of your own
To give the dog a bone
Making your way back home
Amid the detritis and foam

Well The First Rant of the Day Didn't Take Long to Get To

Did any of you out there know that there is an entire cottage industry devoted to cold calling companies that appeared in a magazine article and trying to get them to buy reprints? Does anyone know about this second sales cycle?
I've had several calls and several emails from one extremely persistent gentleman who thinks we (my company) are going to fork over cash for reprint rights because of an article that we were mentioned in (a bare one line mention without a link, without any news about our other offerings, in a smaller circulation bi-weekly?). Have I responded? Have I given him any sort of positive feedback? Nope, but yet he plugs away, dialing the numbers and leaving the tired message on each and every voice mail he come across.

Oh well, everybody's got to make the jimmy-jack some way and for him its the small step up from telemarketer (which is among the worst jobs ever created, aside from road construction in the summer time in the Southwestern US). Some are fully above board, some are fully below and then there are those jobs that are just at the deck's level, both clean and legal but also with a slightly seedy and dirty underbelly.

That's another thought I had from last night's dinosaur fun. The scope of evolution is beyond our capacity to truly understand it, we can do the four blind men and an elephant trick (where all four have totally different interpretations of what an elephant is by the part of the elephant they happen to be closest too) but the reality is that its beyond our small sentient but unenlightened minds. Its been something I've studied off and on for the last twelve or fifteen years and I'm still unsure as to the true process. Though I know its not applied to all instances and situations, much of all life is inclined to the creation of more life like our own. Its natural to propagate. And if you can't raise any young then guess what, you go extinct. Straight forward really.
But its the numbers, the how many creatures it took to feed that 60 foot long behemoth every day, the food its food had to eat, the evolutionary chain of events to bring them altogether to create a food chain capable of sustaining such enormous animals. Its all just a little daunting, like looking out over the New York City landscape and realizing that each of those towers is packed full of people all working hard to get ahead, to survive beyond you, to beat you to the punch, to out-live and pass on more genetic legacy to the future generations.

Its all about the numbers, the viable numbers of survival. Sometimes I feel like the last of my own species. Sometimes I wish I were the last of my species.

Get Yer Future Read

Tarot, Runes, Numerology, and I Ching from Facade! is a decent (and free) way to waste some time and maybe gain some insight into a lost relationship or ammo to go after one you think you should have. But there's a catch, you have to buy the original premise that all of these hocus-pocus dealies really do have some meta-insight into your particular universe. You buying? Or are you, like me, all sold out already?

Ah, its fun to do anyway. In much the same way that I think horoscopes are utter bunkum but I still read them anyway. Why do I think they're crap? Read another sign's "reading" and tell me if the ambiguous fortune can't be applied to your life just as easily as the one written for you. They're written in such a way as to apply to damn near everybody.

Thanks to A Girl Named Bob for the connect. And Bob, don't feel bad about all your crushes. But the Geoffrey Rush one? Where'd that come from? Maybe its because I've only seen one of his movies, at least I think he was in it. Oh well. If it helps, I'm not compatible with Johnny Depp at all (phew!).

It's 8:16, Shouldn't You Be On Your Way to Work?

Um yup. But as I woke up only 25 minutes ago and have already showered I think I'm doing pretty darned well overall. But there's a shave in my future and I'm sure that'll slow down my ability to get to work almost on time.

How could I not set my alarm? Oh well, no harm no real foul.

Dinosaurs Kick Ass

I've been watching the Walking with Dinosaurs shows on Discovery and its been fascinating. And humbling too when you think about a sea monster that was 60 feet long and weighed a hundred tons (that's 200,000 pounds!) and other crazy buggers. I really liked the part about the sabertoothed tigers.

And the cool over riding story of the pterosaur (which I'm sure I am not spelling correctly) travelling some super long flights across 9000 miles or something to get back to the same beach where he and all his species were born. Its matin' season and he's looking to get his hump on but he's old and tired. He can't land with all the hot young bo-hunk pterosaurs who show their sexual prowess by having a large bright red half circle on the end of their beak/noses things.

So the old fella goes off to some less strategic spot to caterwaul away while the bo-hunks get some. All through this there are these muto-raptors or something close to that, they are shown with almost human expressions, bright scary looking eyes and a couple of huge (read that a foot long) spikes built into their legs. Oh yeah, and they're 20 feet long. These buggers are popping their heads up everywhere waiting to get a bite to eat.

Good thing I wasn't alive back then, damn. One little naked ape wouldn't even be an appetizer for a regular sized dinosaur or even any of the super sized mammals they showed earlier. Absolutely crazy stuff, Discovery kicks ass.

In Crap News
It appears that my dad's not in good shape so who knows what the next couple of weeks will bring. Sucks and trouble on the horizon. I started writing a post with the name of the email in it, its almost surreal again. Back down the rabbit hole? Heck sure, why not?

Speed Rant

All I've got to say is that SPSS makes Microsoft look like a perfectionist. We're using the 11th version of this software and its horrible. Still horrible. Still completely ridiculous in its bizarre implementations, stupid in how it decides to toss some data and keep others.
Lame in how it continually forces sentient beings into behaving like a fleshy robots, doing the exact same repetitive steps that could and should be scriptable but aren't.

Stay away from this bad, bad dog of a program. And it can't be because they're the only ones doing statistical analysis. Because if that's the case then I'm going to go and start my own company and bury those fools.
Ach, back to pretty little charts and graphs.

Monday's Malaise

Small New Additions

Had to add the Cult of Mac to the Other clicks section. I'd meant to update pics again this weekend but never did get around to it. I really do need to do a ton of things and maybe I should start listing them out again.

In Other News
Um, how did ecstasy get on the floor of a children's party in the first place? Jude Law's 2 year old found an ecstasy pill at a kid's party and had to be rushed to the hospital. But I've yet to see that question asked, why was there X on the floor at a kid's party? Not sure but isn't that a bit like leaving a loaded pistol in your night stand?

And Google News has become my premier source for online news now. Its just too easy to find exactly what I'm needing (mostly coverage for my company right now but whenever I need something else, bam there it is).

And I seem to have developed pen-man dyslexia. I think I'll try to keep to the keyboard as best I can today. Stupid letters not knowing which way I meant them to be. At least I've got some Ginko again today.

For some reason the iPod wants to play lots and lots of Sinatra today. Bit of a drag after a few songs but I'll live. And I'm still feeling somewhat out of sorts, like I'm misfiring on one spark plug or something. I can function but I'm not getting much done and making funny noises while I do it. At least I should have a reasonably good sound track to get me there. And a fresh can of Trader Joe's Chai to keep me rolling.
But loads and loads of stupid little charts and graphs to do this week. And a few things I forgot from last week. Whee! Aren't we all having fun yet?

I guess the only way to descibe my mood today is disconnected. I don't feel much of a connection to anything right now. Like someone slipped some percocets into my cereal or a few valium in place of lysine. I've got to figure out just where in the hell this disconnect comes from and how to reconnect to the universe. Its marginally entertaining being out floating around but I'd just as soon have some groundage before long.

And I'll have to write up the non-wedding thing. I just couldn't bring myself to go. I asked myself what possible benefit I could derive from going to Melissa's wedding and I could only come up with a single one. But the cons were shooting out of me like laser guided flatulence, I could rattle of five reasons before the first one had even hit the ground. So why add stress to my life by going? I didn't and don't regret it but I would have liked to see her all prettied up. Oh well, I'll suffer along with that knowledge or imagery.

And Yes, I'm an Inveterate Dork

I just reread my post about online gaming and fantasy sports and yes, I'm a complete and utter dork. But then again, I can't go changing the skin I'm in so I'll have to accept what it is about me that makes me me.

Maybe I'm not explaining myself all that well but its alright. I'm under control though I will end up being late for work but that's not unusual. And at least I'm getting a workout in before hand.

A Return to the Web

After being effectively offline for the last couple of days I'm getting ready to get myself back on the track, rejoin the universe in moving towards common goals. No more swimming cross stream, no more just holding on to the handy branch out over the water and letting the world wash by around me.
I've come to the conclusion that I've got to kick this cold, this whatever the hell it is that's been sapping my energy and keeping me in a fog much of this last week.

And that means getting a little sweat going before rolling out to work. Another week of biking in, another week of good and healthful exercise
To which, I'm going to jump on the Bowflex and get my blood moving a bit and see if today can get going without too many real problems cropping up to disrupt the day.

Online Games

There are so many reasons why the internet's improved people's lives but one of the less known areas in which the digital age has made things so much easier is fantasy gaming. As in drafting and playing fantasy leagues for baseball, football, hockey, nascar, survivor: Thailand (yep, I called Jed).

But this post is about kicking ass online. Somehow I ended up with not one, not two, not three but four different baseball teams this season. That's four teams to manage and its pretty interesting to do. But the cool part is that in the two twelve team leagues, one was a straight points for stats and the other was head to head games for stats. Anyway, I scored two firsts in those leagues. That was kind of cool because I went into the final weeks in the head to head game in third.

The other two didn't go quite as well but that's alright. I ended up with a second place in one of the Sandbox leagues and a third in the other. All in all, as I calculate in my own super math wank kind of way, out of a possible 4-44 total range of points, I scored 7 and that's kind of cool. Let me know if my calculations don't make sense. Sometimes I'll skip a step or two.

All I know is that, right now, the Angels are going to beat the Yankees and it makes me smile!

JCPenney: WarGames Foward Command Post

Okay, this is like a playhouse except for the fact that this one was designed by a veteran suffering Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome or whatever it is they call it these days. This is a playset for kids that want to pretend they're in Bosnia or Lebanon or some other war torn nation. Defending American ideals with his M-16, rocket launcher and UN sanctioned "Liberator" machine gun (1200 reasons to be on our side a second come blasting from its barrel). Look kids, realistic looking bullet holes in the side of the house! Wow, and oil cans (to make sure you know the cause we're fighting for) in the living room. And just in case there's not enough firepower, we added a mortar so you can bring fiery death down on your other-God-fearing enemies (how dare they worship differently than us, don't they know that America is ALWAYS right?).

Now if this isn't one of the saddest commentaries on American values then I don't know what could be. I'm sure there's a Bush-Cheney subsidy behind this bugger. I can see the conversation in the Oval Office now "Hey, if we can hook junior on an Oil War then maybe Mom and Dad won't be quite so upset that we're forcing America into a war because of our own personal interests."

Sad and sickening.
Parents, write your outraged letters to JC Penney here. Its a web form so be prepared but this sort of garbage shouldn't be on the shelves in America. America, land of the free and home of the overly aggressive good old Boys in the White House. Why is it that everything's bigger in Texas except for IQ's? (sorry 20/20 Kim Site).

Thanks to intellectual properties for bringing this atrocity to my attention.

Another Installment in the Cat Who Pooped Too Much Saga

Well, part of me feels like I should leave well enough alone and not get into the cat who pooped too much and in too many places. Things almost came to a head last night as Paul was heading out of town, up to visit his sister Kristin, who's cat it is. I truly hate stressing him out about the whole thing but I'm a bit angered by Kristin's attitude or maybe my lack of connection to her stress about the situation.

Her take was that she had no place for the cat and if Paul brought it up there then she'd have no choice but to have the cat PUT DOWN (which is a totally lame way of saying executed because she's inconvenient). Now, I know some people who don't like cats are cheering a little bit but that is among the most fucked up things I've ever heard. And its the second time someone I've known well has thought openly about killing their pet instead of putting in the effort to find another home.

Which resonates very, very strongly with both Paul and I. Shades of one of his ex's that I used to live with. She got tired of her dog, who was among the coolest animals I've ever come across, and told me to find him another home or she would HAVE to have him put down. I found the dog another home, moved out and have pretty much not spoken to her since. Killing your pet has gotta rate right up there with mugging old people for moral transgress.

But the deal now is that the cat's on a weekend test period with some of our friends who live actually right next to where Kristin used to live, just down the street. So we'll see. I think it might actually work out pretty well. They've got more time to give to the cat and the cat will have outdoors access at all times of the day or night. And will hopefully not feel the need to mark her territory by pooping in strange corners.

So keep your collective fingers crossed that this situation may have been resolved. If not and they don't keep the animal then there will be further posts but I truly hope not.

But extra thanks to Paul for dealing with this even though he totally and completely had no interest in dealing before he and his girl went off for a long weekend up north. Its done for now and that's the important thing. And I won't have to check my beer glass for poo before I take a drink

Riding A Good Thing

Its funny, something I was doing just as an aside seems to have struck a chord with some readers (or at least the ones who leave comments or tag board stuff) and I'll try to incorporate more haikus into the blog.
But for now I've got to get some breakfast in me and get started on some serious working stuff.

How's this?
Friday's Driving Thought Haiku

Today is the End
The weekend begins in hours
Get outside and live.

I'm sure that there will be more stuff to come as the day goes on. And I'm already back logged on a post about Martha Stewart's crumbling empire, is it a good thing? I'm sure she would have eaten the $100K on the ImClone stock now because her company's lost $630 MILLION in market value since this whole thing began. YOW! That's gotta sting just a little bit.

Independent News - Breast Cancer Risk Up 70% in Teenagers Who SMoke

Didja really need yet another reason to not smoke? Okay, ladies, how about this? Smoking will increase your chances of getting breast cancer. And that doesn't include any studies not finished that detail smoking's increase of the chances of getting other kinds of cancers, you know, lung, mouth, skin, whatever.

Pretty safe to say that if you inhale poisons for a long enough time, you will eventually become poisoned. Whoa! Revelation #9.

If you smoke now then you should work on stopping. If you don't smoke now then you should maintain your position and never start. If someone you know smokes then you should let them know, in no uncertain terms that smoking equals complications down the road. And that's fine if you're planning on dying in a fiery car wreck but if you want to live to 90 then you need to stop smoking.
Heck, take the money you spend on cigarettes every day and put it in a fund for something that you really, really want. You'll be amazed at how quickly the money adds up.

And hey, sorry if my little mini rant bothers you by reading it but I've got first hand knowledge of the down stream effects of smoking. It ain't pretty or cheap or cool.

True Fear

I can take a step into bizarro land anytime I want to today. Its easy, all I have to do is reach up and take off my glasses for a few minutes and try to function as if they're on.
There's nothing quite like not being able to see anything beyond a few inches from ones face. Crossing the street becomes a dangerous experiment. My shins take it hard too, banging into things I'd normally be able to avoid. I hate the helpless feeling that comes to me without my contacts or glasses. Its a constant reminder to me that, if I'd been born before glasses were available, I'd have already died by now because I wouldn't have seen the critter that snuck on me and ate me.

A sobering thought and one that notches up my desire for corrective eye surgery more than ever before. Man, to be able see easily, all the time, swim in water with my eyes open? All that. It would kick ass.

But until then I've gotta deal with the drag of the world through a fish bowl. At least they figured out to curve my glasses enough so I don't have to have coke bottle thick lens even though my eyes are easily bad enough to warrant them.

My Corrective Surgery Haiku
Technology good
Bad genetics broke my sight
RK will repair

Dead Hand Waking

You know, there's nothing like waking up and being totally disoriented. Not knowing what day it is, not knowing the time, not knowing where your hand is.
I vaguely remember turning off my alarm instead of hitting the snooze button at 7 this morning. And then the next thing I know, I'm waking up with a hand that refuses to accept commands from command central. All I get back from my hand is a bundle of nothing, no feeling at all. Somehow I'd managed to sleep on my hand in such a way that I cut off the blood supply to it and it was effectively dead until the blood could get back into it. So for a few minutes upon awaking this morning I had no right hand and then I had a mass of pins and needles jabbing into me and then, finally, after a few minutes of working the dead hand with my good one, I was able to return to some semblance of normalcy.

I woke up about 8 minutes before I was supposed to be at work. Woke up with an extra dose of don't-give-a-damn and I took my time getting up and starting to get rolling. Which was just fine because my left's gone on vacation and refuses to function properly. Oooh boy, this is going to be a fun day, I can already tell.

Hopefully something interesting and lively will happen soon to shake me out of my haze. Or maybe not and I'll just sink to the ground underneath my desk and sleep for another twenty hours or so. If this lovely bone shaking, window rattling deep lung cough doesn't break me into little spasming pieces first.

Oh yeah, and I'm forced to wearing glasses today because my eyes are so unhappy at having to be open that they refused to lube up my contacts. So I'm in Clark Kent mode for the time being. Maybe later on when I've gained full consciousness I can think about contacts again but for now I'll sip my nasty tasting coffee and try to shake the cobwebs from my head. Press releases? Awww yeah, let me at 'em.

Canadian Man Tries to Bungee on to Ship - Misses

Maybe this title should be, Man Attempts Darwin Award Winning Performance subtitle: By Bashing His Head Onto the Deck of a Passing Ship?

Its the story about a guy who thinks it a good idea to bungee jump off a bridge onto a passing ship, an idea almost certainly thought up under the influence of some intoxicant. Its, well its just a bad idea. Besides, bungee jumping's stupid anyway. Its passe these days. Especially after seeing all those horror shows of people augering in (note: to auger in is a term I learned years ago from some rock climbers and spelunkers, it is what happens when you don't tie yourself in properly and yes, its not the fall but the sudden stop that gets you) and smacking themselves into the ground. Sounds like fun? Tell you what, just have a friend hit you in the face with a heavy cast iron skillet. Now say wheeeeee!

Other news
This is an incredibly disturbing story about Teens in Milwaukee beating a man to death with bats, rakes, shovels, sticks and whatever else they could find. How sad that these kids are now killers and they're lives are pretty well done for. Hope you like prison food kids 'cause that's all you're getting for the next 15 years or so.

Shameless Product Plug

But since I'm not being compensated for my opinion here then there really is no problem with objectivity. My new Sonicare Toothbrush is the product in the spotlight for now. And maybe its stupid of me to get so jacked up about a toothbrush but this thing is the best way to get teeth clean I've yet come across. It tickles, it buzzes (much like Layne's frozen love pop but that's another story and another orifice for that matter) and it knows when you've brushed long enough. You don't have to actually even brush your teeth anymore because the brush is moving so fast that it does all the work for you. There's a dissenting opinion in intellectual properties but to each his (or her) own. So far, I'm liking the uber clean I feel and it lasts into the afternoon.

There's plenty of other things on my mind this morning but for now we'll just call it a post and go get a immuno booster Jamba Juice to try and beat this stupid cold back into submission. And maybe I should reread my post from last night to make sure I wasn't too harsh. I don't think I was but I should proof and edit my writing from time to time. I hate finding those stupid errors that detract from the whole thing. Like a flaw in a diamond but a hell of a lot less pretty or valuable, hmmm, maybe its not like a diamond at all. Oh well.

Rock on, universe. Posts from the drama that is my work platz to follow.

A Waste of Space

Over the course of my life I've had numerous people condemn me for various reasons, most without any truth to them whatsoever. One ex's grandmother termed me dull which is laughable because she had no idea who I was and am and the sorts of things that I do and think about.
Other people have called me stupid which is also an easy one to dismiss, I'm about as stupid as a bowling ball is square.

But something a pal's girlfriend said to dismiss any option of spending time around me and my housemates rankles me pretty deeply. Not that there's any truth in it because if I thought I was wasting space on this planet then I'd be inclined to free up the space. But I don't think I'm a detriment to the world.
She basically said that I am a waste of space.

This coming from a girl who sells Harley Davidson t-shirts and hats? This from a girl who's main gift to the neighborhood is to have taken a good friend of mine and make him into someone who's not allowed to hang out, not allowed to be funny (which he is), not allowed to go and hang out with the guys for a day. She's a frigging loser, a girl who can't be bothered to say five words in a row to you. A girl who might be pretty if she learned how to smile and enjoy life a little, maybe took out the piercings in her face (yeah, yeah, personal taste, whatever), a girl who could be fun to with but chooses to live in a black hole of lame superiority complex driven idiocy.

So now I've got a new addition to my personal shitlist. And I could give a damn about her anymore. I made the attempt to be friendly and engage her when she deigned to visit with my pal. But no more, she'll get nothing but the reflected coldness she gives off. An icy bitch who'll get her own treatment right back at her. Anything she says to me will be answered with scorn and sarcasm. Will I dwell on it? No. Will I take every opportunity offered to try and break them up? Hell yes! I want my friend back and if that bitch has to go then so be it. He's a much more social creature than the dark queen is.

So, this'll serve notice to her. Neither of them read this blog but others do. One of the others who was also called a waste. What gall this little useless chick's got. Why don't you go and restock the fat guy shirts, honey? I'm sure your ability to fold over priced cotton t-shirts will secure your place in the annals of humanity. And hey, isn't it hard to walk around with your head so firmly planted up your own ass?

Antarctic Ozone Hole Could Close by 2050

Well there ya go, some good news for a Tuesday. Thanks to Rebecca's Pocket for the link.

Onebox's Resolution

Just got off the phone with a jackass from Onebox.com about my "upgraded" service. It appears that they did the upgrade to better serve their voice and fax customers nevernminding the customers who paid for the service but did not pay the extra money for voicemail access and all that crap.

So here's the basic rundown.
Nope, you don't get your money back.
Nope, you can't go back to the old onebox style.
Nope, we're basically not going to do a damn thing for you.
Nope, you can pretty well go fuck yourself.
And have a nice day sir.

All I've got to say is that Onebox and their parent company Call Sciences are scumbags who should be run straight out of business. I will never do business with their company again and would strongly encourage anyone else contemplating a business arrangement with either of these companies to take their business elsewhere.

Among their transgressions are out and out lies about their customer service goals. Excellent customer service is NOT an auto-generated email response to tech support and then nothing else. Excellent customer service is NOT waiting on hold for fifteen minutes only to be dropped by their system. Excellent customer service is NOT upgrading some services while degrading other paying customer's services. Excellent customer service IS responding to your customer's needs in a timely (read that three days maximum) manner, not three weeks which is the time from my first emailed request for tech support, 9/9/02. And they had not responded by today.

I'll just add them to the ever growing list of companies never to do business in any fashion with again. They don't deserve a penny from me or any of my associates again. I hope they go out of business and then are audited by the government for fraud and embezzlement. And then sent to blue collar squeal-like-a-pig prison.

For another opinion check out an epinions review by my pal, Jay. He's got a new tag line for Onebox, he calls them Scumbox. I like it!

Another Haiku

This is one I remember from a few years ago during the Unabomber's apex of media frenzy. Does anyone even remember the Unabomber anymore?

Unabomber Haiku
Technology bad
Tell me you like my beard
Or I'll blow you up.

Women raid teen section for hip, affordable clothes

And they say that men are the only ones who have midlife crisises? Actually I don't know that that's true but it seemed like a reasonable seque into the story.

If my mother started wearing teen fashions I think I'd probably have to have her medicated. Why would a mature woman choose to adorn her body with clothing that says lovely things like "Slut" and "Brat" and "Men are great, every girl should own one or two"?

Maybe this is a spin off of that Nokia (I think its Nokia) commercial where they've got old party partying like teenagers? Maybe this youthful resurgence is a combination of Viagra and Red Bull slammers?

Either way, I'm damned glad I don't live in Florida.

And another lovely from Monday's SF Gate Morning Fix,
Mullet Haiku
A weekly ode to follicular joy, because we can
***********************************************
Greasy nails and Ratt
Dead Camaro on the lawn
Pink flamingos stare

Mega props to intellectual properties for bringing Mark Morford to my attention. He's swiftly becoming one of my favorite writers. Which reminds me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMY! I'll be sure to raise a glass to you tonight as I'm out celebrating another pal's birthday tonight.