12.29.2002

Undeniable and Invincible Rapture
While I might start out with an apology to any readers out there who've been checking in and wondering, wondering, wondering what's the deal with my last post and announcement of pending nuptuals, I don't think I'm going to be making any apologies for having been in utter and complete blissland these last few days.

What would be the point of souring all that bliss with the poison of guilt? There is none and I'm moving on to the real post and some explanation of what's going on in my wonderful little world these days.

First off, her name is Paula and in good geek form, we did meet in the wonderful (and parentally scary) world of cyberspace. In fact, we met on Hotornot many months ago. And I'm sure that there a few people out there who may be raising an eyebrow or two. But really, the most important thing to remember in all of this is that; whatever enables two people to find and connect with each other is a viable means to finding your love.

So back to Paula and I. We've been friends online for months, emailing each other regularly, one meeting that had been planned back in June or July but circumstance interfered and it didn't happen. But we stayed in touch, moving into IM's (a fairly new 'net toy for me) and then on to phone calls. We felt each other out slowly and carefully, testing out moral compatibilities, desires, needs and who each other was.

At each step, we compared notes honestly and found ourselves matching up exactly on every important topic, from wanting of kids (yes please!) to how to raise kids to flowers to movies to music to what was most important in a relationship (honesty, fidelity, humor and love) to makes of cars to things as trivial as to everything else you could possibly think of.

What grew out of all of our talks and chats and whatevers is that we share common moral ground that extends out into almost every aspect of our lives.

She paid me the most amazing compliment I've ever received last night. We were talking about where we were both living, she in San Diego, me in Santa Cruz and she said, "I can't even call it home down there anymore, because home is where the heart is and my heart belongs to you." She actually brought tears to my eyes, and for those that know me, they should know how unprecedented, incredible and overwhelming this is and was to me.

There are details to think about, plans to make and many, many changes ahead for the both of us but that's just it, for the both us, together, as one. We move forward unified in and bound by a powerful love between us that flows through us, around us and infuses others near us so that they too feel a hint of the joy we carry with us.

Pictures will follow when I have more time to spare (i.e. Paula's asleep or otherwise inaccessible to me because I'm not wasting any live time with her if I can help it).
And I'll have to make some changes to my 100 Things list. Namely numbers 31 and 32 and number 10 but for other reasons (thanks Santa!). And number 99 because I now know something I want on me at all times, details on that to follow as designs are weighed. But its not the design that is significant, more what the tattoo will symbolize.

Happy New Year to you all! I know it will be the best year of my life and I am so looking forward to leaving 2002. It was one of the most difficult years I've yet experienced but hardship brings its own reward and mine is laying in my bed and looking at me now with her beautiful blue eyes. I think I'm going to go and join her.

More about Paula as time permits and conscience allows, there are somethings that are meant to be shared with only that one person who completes you. And in my most incredibly fortuitus universe, I found her! But I'm always open to questions or suggestions.

1 comments:

P said...

I miss this. I want moments like this in our life again.