An Inspirational Quote and then An Attempt to Recapture What Blogger Hath Voided

"That's what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end."
- --Lise Hand, describing Irish journalist Veronica Guerin, who was killed as a result of her investigations of Irish organized crime.

Gotta go with the good quote to start the day and yes, this one may just get into my quotes page, haven't updated that one recently. And it deserves to be updated just like all the other pages I've been working on when I should have been cleaning my room or working my lists.

What I'd been writing about when Blogger decided to erase the post was the latest book I've been reading. Its called Advance, Retreat by Richard Rive, a now deceased South African author.
The book deals with issues and people during the apartheid rule of the country, how a simple act of sitting on a Whites Only bench led to the beating and imprisonment of one character. How another drunken character harasses people on the train. How a white woman so irritates a coloured college student (which was a more unusual sight back then and yes, it is good to say back then when it comes to a policy like apartheid).

The book's stories run together though they are meant to be read and allowed to stand alone on their own. But the scenes meld from one to another smoothly and without problems. He writes from the trenches, inside the bodies and minds of his protagonists so that you can feel their worry, fear, fright and elation (that last only on rare occasions). This is a somber book punctuated by moments of brilliant clarity. Quite good reading too.

In other news, I'm somewhat torn this morning about whether I want to go to the Buffett show tonight. Torn from several angles. The biggest is that it'll be my first time going with Melissa and while I don't miss her anymore, I do feel her absence when I do go to those things we once did together. And I know part of this comes from the fact that she's getting married next week. But yeah, its on my mind and I'm not sure if I have any real desire to make the journey over the hill. The other side of that is that I just don't FEEL like doing much of anything right now. I want to sleep, ride my bike, workout, go to the beach, read and write. Well, I guess those are somethings but I don't have a whole lot of desire outside of that for now.

Why is this? I don't know, general unhappiness as the season starts to change over and summer slips into the past. Yeah, yeah, I know summer's been over for a few weeks but not here in Santa Cruz, here its been gorgeous with sunny days, fog enshrouded nights and a delightful lack of tourists.

But I've got to go and get some breakfast in me before a call with one of my analysts later on this morning. One other note before I roll though. I'm increasingly disturbed by the other Melissa's lack of response from emails to her since I saw her in New York. And I'm wondering just what I could have possibly done that would have so disrupted our friendship so that she would write me off completely. That seems a little excessive but who knows, maybe she took my jokes about Derek Jeter a little too seriously? In which case, get over it. He's got zero interest in you so why have much of an interest in him? Eh? Oh you like idolatry? Yeah, that figures.

I'm tempted to write her a slightly less than wholly polite email and more or less demand some sort of explanation. But what would truly be the point? I'm not interested in her aside from her friendship and even that small token seems be denied. Oh well, I'll live and I'll get by just fine out here.